Judge This Case - Family - Nairaland
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| Judge This Case by osile2012: 4:26pm On May 06, 2015 |
A young man has been dating this lady for about 2 years,They both have jobs, and get along well. The guy decides to take the relationship to the next level(Marriage). He calls his mother and tells her he will come to show her his wife to be. They traveled about 3 hrs to get there. They got to the mans family house, she greeted the mans mother very well and everyone was happy. As the conversation went on, the mother inlaw went to the kitchen, came out and asked the girl where will she eat? in the parlour of dinning table? The young girl innocently said, "No ma, dont bother i am not hungry" . She said ok and brought pounded yam and soup for the man and he ate . Conversation went on normally and they slept and traveled the next day.When he got back to base, called the mother and told her he had arrived. The mother said thank GOD, but what she wants to tell him is that, it is over her dead body that he will marry that girl that refused her food. He said all attempts to explain that they ate before getting there fell on deaf ears. She said he has to choose between her and that girl. I discussed this with some mothers, and they all said they would have done the same. No who is right and who is wrong ? Whose side are you on? the Lady or the mans mother.? If you were the guy, what would you do? Marry her without your mothers blessing or find someone else ? 4 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Judge This Case by Fynestboi: 4:28pm On May 06, 2015 |
Dude reduce your font before I go talk anything.  4 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Judge This Case by McEwen(m): 4:29pm On May 06, 2015 |
Just because of food?  Op...hold on lemme call Honourable Desmond Elliott,this is a good nollywood script  71 Likes 6 Shares |
| Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 4:30pm On May 06, 2015 |
This is the most reasonable post I have read today... The guy's mother is right.. 1) the lady should have joined his mother in the kitchen and should have aided her in the preparing of the food.. 2) the lady failed the so called "mother in-laws" test.. Refusing to eat the food from your potential mother inlaw is considered highly disrespectful and condemnable.. The girl is a wolf in sheep's clothing, and the mother has clearly seen that she isn't the right person for her son.. EricRichie.. 150 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 4:35pm On May 06, 2015 |
I agree, this is one of the most reasonable post for.....in fact since i joined NL. So.... Has the man considered reconciling the both of them. Like get them to sort out the misunderstandings; which this clearly is. 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Judge This Case by dharay88: 4:35pm On May 06, 2015 |
see quick conclusion. Cus she refused to eat? make IFA slap any mama wey follow me try dat.  Mehn dat was too quick for d mother in law. Complete crap. On this, me wunt listen to her tho... 24 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Judge This Case by johnydon22(m): 4:36pm On May 06, 2015 |
Wooow a very nice one. . . . In this part of igbo land or maybe in igbo land as a whole, taking something offered to you is a sign of acceptance. tho am not sure many people still care. the girl may not be hungry and thereby she didn't eat the food due to that and i see nothing in it, but she created the wrong impression on the woman owing that she may think the girl left the food because she was rude and didn't want to touch her dish. its just misunderstanding, the girl may have done it innocently and the woman misunderstood it. i dont blame any of them. the girl is an African she should have known the implications of her actions from the unset, she just acted like a white woman. at least she should tasted the food. anyway i think she should apologize to mama and tell her she didn't mean it the way she took it, she's a Nigerian so i trust she can conjure up a very nice lie..  24 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Judge This Case by demmy0325(m): 4:37pm On May 06, 2015 |
..yawns... Jst woke Up... Wel.., to d topic... Am jst sittin on the fence on this... But to d op.. Ur mom was dere b4 ds so called girl n smtyms dey see beyond wah we cant.... Buh i like Ur mom tho.... 1 Like |
| Re: Judge This Case by pTomz(m): 4:38pm On May 06, 2015 |
 naw dats a real MOTHER, d girl ignorantly failed a testlesson: no matter hw beautiful/curvy, as wel as gorgeous u r, ur real test is ur character n ur wonders in d kitchen 10 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Judge This Case by Celexboy(m): 4:39pm On May 06, 2015 |
To me the boy is the one to be blamed because de girl is his choice so they suppose to be no secret inbtwn then,he could have kindly told the girl that diz de first time to come home togeda so she have to tak atleast a bit of it.de mother must also be blame 4 nt blaming her son. 15 Likes |
| Re: Judge This Case by peeparty(m): 4:42pm On May 06, 2015 |
like seriously for just refusing to eat?am suspecting that woman oo 15 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Judge This Case by Samfigo1(m): 4:44pm On May 06, 2015 |
Na by FORCE  ??.13 Likes |
| Re: Judge This Case by Samfigo1(m): 4:44pm On May 06, 2015 |
Where I think the girl could be wrong is that she could not help her mother-in-law in the kitchen...it's not by force to eat now!! She shld have requested for water instead, maybe that would have given the mother-in-law the impression that girl might be truely satiated! 6 Likes |
| Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 4:47pm On May 06, 2015 |
What kind of yeye test is this one naa, dats how people end up eating stuffs they are allergic to simply because they don't want to offend mama. Thank God my mum is not petty, if you don't want food she will just offer you drink or give you something to take home. 68 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Judge This Case by LogoDWhiz(m): 4:47pm On May 06, 2015 |
Well, this is my advice. Re-initiate the meeting. Second chance. And this time around, the girl should help the mum out and also eat her food. I understand d woman's agitation but its unnecessary. Because she eats her food doesn't make her a better person for her son. 29 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 4:49pm On May 06, 2015 |
Nice write up OP I dont think the relationship should proceed pass the level. She knew where she was going, she understands the significance of it, so that was no mistake but a signal. chances are the mother may not well be recieve in the matrimonial home. As for me I wont take it lightly. my mum remains my mum and that was the food that produce the fine young man she fell in love with. #opinion 13 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Judge This Case by eddysernal(m): 4:50pm On May 06, 2015 |
Judge: i herby find the mother-in- law guilty as charged after hearing the girls side of the stor that she is alergic to yam infact doctors report shows that the last tym she ate yam-related food she ended up in hospital for 3mnths. so there4 she is sentenced to 3yrs of anger management classes and the babe discharged and aquited and she be compensated immediately by her husband with get away trip in the maldvies... 12 Likes |
| Re: Judge This Case by xpac01(m): 4:51pm On May 06, 2015 |
The lady is about learning courtesy the hard way. My parents always thought me never to refuse food offer from my in-laws. Even if I don't feel ok with their spiritual should help in the cooking or at most jilt the girl than refusing the food. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Judge This Case by IamOdin: 4:54pm On May 06, 2015 |
Without a second thought you should know the woman is from the most primitive village known!!. 15 Likes |
| Re: Judge This Case by Cutehector(m): 4:57pm On May 06, 2015 |
After they will start callin witches frm dr villages.. Simple tin yes I will eat ma. Even if its little.. Even if am d man, I will side my mom.. Yes!!! I dnt care. It was a test, and u failed woefully.. 3 Likes |
| Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 4:57pm On May 06, 2015 |
I agree. That girl was not ontop of her games or with her wits about her. She clearly wasn't concerend about winning the mother inlaw over, which is important; in any culture--really. Mother in laws can make married life a hell on earth especially if the man has very close relationship with mother. I would have at least tasted that food; I feel even hesitant of saying no (and must assess the implications of saying yes or no) when regular inconsequential people offer me food/ drink. The damage is done. This is not doomed though it depends on how she handles the attempt to "reconcile". She has to thread carefully. I wont even attempt to explain anything to her, i would just use damage control strategies or just apologize period. EricRichie: 3 Likes |
| Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 4:58pm On May 06, 2015 |
My mother can go sit down on a nice chair in this situation. No way am I choosing her over the woman I love and want to marry. Mothers can be very selfish and too unreasonable sometimes. Does she know how long I searched before I found the one? Why didn't she believe when I, her son, told her that we ate before coming? If she thinks she can ruin my plans because she gave birth to me, and because of some inconsequential nonsense about food, she should think again. 78 Likes 8 Shares |
| Re: Judge This Case by uzumakis: 4:59pm On May 06, 2015 |
things I think one should consider are 1. the boys mother did welcome her 2.the boys mother even treated her specially, even as a queen 3.the boys mother was kind enough to accommodate her still. now for the lady she wasn't innocent neither will one take for it she wasn't hungry. if as the OP stated that they stayed through till next morning she ought to know at least what to do. refusing a food from your supposed mother in law tells alot, amongst which is one being ungrateful, being less build on manners, to say but a few. I suggest the Lady takes it up herself, go back to that house and tell the mother how sorry you were and how you willing to make up.. am I even making sense  10 Likes |
| Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 5:00pm On May 06, 2015 |
Ghenghen . First impression matters a lot but then again, there is something called second chance. Take her to visit your mother again and make sure she is at alert this time around. Let her do all in her power to win your mother's heart cos she needs her support should you guys end up getting married. |
| Re: Judge This Case by Cutehector(m): 5:00pm On May 06, 2015 |
softysparky:my dear, tradition and more especially courtesy demands u take wateva ur host offers u.. Even if u hav eaten befor comin, it won't hurt if u just take a lil to fulfil all righteousness.. My own is dat if am takin any girl to meet my mom, I won't advice her on anythin.. If she likes let her go thr and fumble.. 6 Likes |
| Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 5:04pm On May 06, 2015 |
Blackett, Thats admirable. But it would be a helluva a happier life and home for you if both of them get along or in good terms or at least not starting off on wrong foot. Personally, i would like to get along with mother in law. She doesnt have to like me like me BUT i would like her to respect the union and myself and his son for that matter. #nomonsterinlaws.  Blackett: 3 Likes |
| Re: Judge This Case by MRBrownJ: 5:05pm On May 06, 2015 |
this story makes no damn sense.... if they were going to meet the mother then why did they ate before getting there? and if they really did then why the BF ate again at mum's place? its either they both dont eat or they both do. if BF told his mother prior to they arrivals that they were coming then OF COURSE mum is gonna cook and therefore they had no business going to eat befopre getting there. he should have forced his gf to eat, however little it may be. way forward: beg mama for forgiveness by telling her that HE made the mistake by taking her to some eatery before going to meet her, and with time mama will understand. 13 Likes |
| Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 5:06pm On May 06, 2015 |
Cutehector:And the mother pretended that all was well yet went behind to oppose their marriage. Don't worry she will soon get one "eye service" lady that would finish her food and kill her son for her. 32 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 5:07pm On May 06, 2015 |
Xiadnat:I'll love them to get along. She'll even apologize and eat all the food in my mothers house. But when push comes to shove, and my mother actually asks me to "choose between her and my fiancee", I'm choosing my fiancee. 9 Likes |
| Re: Judge This Case by SleekyP(m): 5:09pm On May 06, 2015 |
Cc: lalasticlala |
| Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 5:10pm On May 06, 2015 |
Xiadnat: You're totally spot on... For me I think the way the mother responded meant that no matter how the lady tries to reconcile her actions, she's already doomed.. Even if the guy insists and strong headly forges ahead to marry the lady without the approval of the mother, the lady would wish she was better off single than married.. . Her life would be tormented and haunted by The mother in law showing her hell... The best thing for the couple to do now is to go their separate ways... EricRichie 2 Likes |
| Re: Judge This Case by Cutehector(m): 5:10pm On May 06, 2015 |
softysparky:lol its not like dat .. Hw would u feel if yur man turns dwn ur mum's food wen u take him to see ur parents? Knowing fully well u guys are goin for a dinner at there house.2 Likes |
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