Chimaritoponcho:

shey u go still drop something today na

Abeg helep me ask am, cos me don dey refresh diz page tirelessly

Worry not about tomorrow, tomorrow you might inherit a million dollars or get run over by a truck - or you might inherit a million dollars and get run over by a truck.





"forget all your worries!" I sat like a Boss, "drink!!"

“make una shayo! Money dey!” We were at Goldberg drinking.

“I go pay!” I said, “maga don pay!”

Maga had indeed paid; and that maga was no other than Nairabet.

“how much wey you chop for Nairabet sef?” Snow asked.

“you wan know?”

“yes na, tell me na!”

“na 15k wey I win oh”






After drinking six bottles each, I, Junior and Snow set for home.


“food dey house?” I asked.

“food dey oh!” My soul was gladdened on hearing that.

“that Sandra soup still remain na!”


Sandra’s soup!! Oh Sandra’s soup!!

The best soup since my mother’s. But what I couldn’t understand about her soups was its longevity.
Longevity! Her soup was a definition of longevity, just add water while warming and it increases. We at some point pleaded for the soup to exhaust.





“oboy maggot don enter the soup oh” Or was I seeing the spiritual as a result of six bottles of 1759? or was it just my eyes?

“how maggot take enter inside na?” Junior asked.

“come see am na” I beckoned.

“m’umu this thing wey you dey see so no be maggot!” Junior said.

“if this thing no be margot, wetin e be?”

“ehnnn! Na……….. Ehn! Na………” I hated the part of Junior that argued at everything, especially when he was drunk.


"Na Cat fish wey them peel the skin comot"

"you say na wetin?" I needed to confirm my ears wasn't hearing the spiritual.

"i say na Cat fish wey them peel the skin comot!" He repeated.



That made me took a flashback to November 11; Junior's birthday.

That birthday, i will never forget.



He invited mostly his Togolese friends to the birthday party that held in our house.

You will hear names like Gehd, Rehb, Fatm, Rhim, Tbid, and wondered if there were short of vowels in Togo.


My wonders never ended, I also wondered why Togolese wear so dark a skin, was the sun close to their roofs?

Gehd was so dark that I mistook him for my shadow.

Rehb was so fat that I thought him to be the reincarnated body of the American rapper The Notorious Big.

Fatm could drink a tank of Vodka all alone. He was so alcohol stingy that he couldn’t share the last bottle of 1759 with me the brand ambassador.

Rhim was as skinny as my shoe lace.

Tbid was handsome, I must say. If I was to be g'ay tomorrow, I would definitely look for him.


Junior reminded us his Nigerian friends that Togo was far better than Nigeria while his Togolese brother laughed like park of f’ools.

If there was another Togo, then I would had agreed with Junior.



“abeg make we forget that thing, make my friend go bring meat come make we chop!” Junior said.

He whispered what sounded to my ears as “Je ma pel meoati” whatever that meant, and one of his friend stood up to bring out the content of his bag.


A newspaper contained what looked like a birthday cake to me.

“you buy cake?” I asked.

“no be cake! Na meat” Junior said, “make we use am digest the drink na!”

What perfect colabo! Meat and 1759 goes so well together, I could attest.




As Fatm opened the newspaper to unveil the mouth watering hug pieces of meat, I rushed to grab one big chunk after Junior had grabbed like six at a time.

Snow followed, and we munched with all smiles, without thinking. Alcohol did the thinking for us.



“this meat sweet oh!” I was chewing my 11th piece, “na Suya?”

“Suya?” Junior answered, “no be Suya oh!”

“na Goat meat?” Snow asked.

“no be Goat meat oh!” Junior answered.

“na which meat na?”



“na Cat meat!” He announced.

“Cat fish nahim com be like meat!” I wondered.

“which kin Cat fish wey dey like this?” Like Snow was on the same page with me.



“I no say Cat fish oh” Junior said, “na Cat Meat I talk oh”






That night the room was flooded. Flooded with ……………………………….. you know what.

princesssusan:

Abeg helep me ask am, cos me don dey refresh diz page tirelessly

Sorry for your countless refresh.

But one thing you should know, updating isn't easy.

It takes 4 hours to type and edit before updating.

flow1759:

Sorry for your countless refresh.
But one thing you should know, updating isn't easy.
It takes 4 hours to type and edit before updating.

we appreciate sir

My fellow Ashanti girls wey Bush Shaker dey bash so. E make lucky saf say e no be Ewe lady e go get. Like she go jazz am die. They wey dey sabi jazz for the whole Ghana. Only Yoruba wey dey do juju pass them for West Africa. Anyway, Flow dey dish out better tori. Bad belle go shame. Flow, woso ma yenko.

MannyAgyeiK:
My fellow Ashanti girls wey Bush Shaker dey bash so. E make lucky saf say e no be Ewe lady e go get. Like she go jazz am die. They wey dey sabi jazz for the whole Ghana. Only Yoruba wey dey do juju pass them for West Africa. Anyway, Flow dey dish out better tori. Bad belle go shame. Flow, woso ma yenko.

How do i say "you be correct guy" in Ashanti?

flow1759:


Sorry for your countless refresh.

But one thing you should know, updating isn't easy.

It takes 4 hours to type and edit before updating.

I understand swiry, jez sayn ni no offence intended biko don‘t be annoyed.

flow1759:

How do i say "you be correct guy" in Ashanti?

Woy3 chef paa. This one is the literal meaning. But you can say 'woy3 guy', another literal meaning or 'wonim nea 3ko '. I am using '3' to represent the 'ee' sound, pronounced like 'air', as the actual letter, which is 3 in reverse or inverted, is not foreign-made keyboards.

Now to the tori. Me too experience this except it was with dog meat. The Northerners in Ghana, especially, the non-Muslim ones, like dog meat a lot. I go one Northern guy house go chop. E make I chop finish b4 he talk me say the meat be dog meat. Like I dey kill am saf. No be like say I no tell am say I dey hate dog meat, o.

MannyAgyeiK:
Now to the tori. Me too experience this except it was with dog meat. The Northerners in Ghana, especially, the non-Muslim ones, like dog meat a lot. I go one Northern guy house go chop. E make I chop finish b4 he talk me say the meat be dog meat. Like I dey kill am saf. No be like say I no tell am say I dey hate dog meat, o.

Do u know I didn't understand what u wrote up there.

it sound Swahilish

Abeg no be like this we dey take speak our own pidgin for naija

Viewing this topic: Kunle106(m), kakakent, flow1759, Mayorblazeand 3 guest(s)

Mayorblaze:
Viewing this topic: Kunle106(m), kakakent, flow1759, Mayorblazeand 3 guest(s)

Na because I dey make correction oh. I mistake for some words spelling.

flow1759:


Na because I dey make correction oh. I mistake for some words spelling.

Ok oooo.... No lele...
Thought u wan dash me late night food

flowey...... this your story too make sense. carry go

flow1759:

Do u know I didn't understand what u wrote up there.
it sound Swahilish
Abeg no be like this we dey take speak our own pidgin for naija

Ok, I was speaking in Ghana pidgin. I thought it wasn't much different from Naija pidgin but seemingly, I was wrong. I will use normal English from now on. I was just relaying my similar experience with someone who gave me dog meat to eat without prompting me.

But those Togo boys did not do well. Plus, Junior must really have some nerve to have given you guys cat meat to chew when he knew you hated it. I guess he thought you would change your minds after tasting it. 3s3 ono ara.

the last update is so funny ehn..but flow sheay d taste no diff 4rm normal goat meat

Oga Flow,
I salute u ooo. your story was so fascinating and superfluous or so i thought. Thank you for making me laugh
U still flow, me i still they follow

In the break of 1st of February, I caught cough and cold.

“kpum kpoooooon!!” I coughed.

“oboy if you dey cough, dey close your mouth oh!” Snow warned.



“Snow oh! You don hear say them rob Godwin shop?” I said.

“no oh!”

“guy na yesterday night wey I go charge my phone nahim I see say them don thief all him property” I said, “him TV, him Gen, and even them him clipper”


We had severally advised Godwin to change all Jalopies, but he refused.

In no particular other the Jalopies includes: His 20 inches box TV that was finger sensitive; it never comes on when anyone but its owner puts it on, his "skull dividing" clippers, his Generator that was the kind they called “I pass my neighbour”. How I wished he passed his neighbor that was a barber.



Mashal’s barber’s shop had more customer than Godwin’s, but Marshal’s customers were mostly females that needed their “bushes” shaved, bushes shook I mean to say.


Marshal could shake as much as a Rain forest. He was handsome, so the ladies preferred wearing low cut just because they wanted their hair to have a ”Marshal touch”.


I remember when I cased one beauty into Marshal’s barber’s shop, little did I know that she was Marshal’s real babe. I mean real real babe.

“Flow you wan barb?” Marshal asked me after the lady gave him a peck.

“who? Me?” I asked.

“yes na! you wan barb?” Is like he was surprised an executive member of GBS paid him a courtesy visit.

“me?” I asked again.

“yes na” He answered, “abi e get another person wey dey bear Flow for here?”

"you wan barb?" He repeated

“Yes…. No…… Yes” I stammered.

“come sidon na, I don barb this man finish” He beckoned.

Mind you, the only money with me was 200 naira that wasn't mine but Junior’s.

Marshal gave me a clean cut that had it been I had more than 200 naira, I would had giving him more. And that was unlike our dear Godwin.



I don’t know if he did it intentionally or out of hatred for his friends the parliamentarian, Godwin cut our hair like it was third world war.



I will never forget…………………………..

“guy you don wound me” Snow said.

“you sterilize the clipper?” Snow asked, “you sterilize the clipper before you start to barb me?”

“yes na!” Godwin answered, “you no see me when I dey sterilize am?”

Truth be told, I never saw him sterilized the clipper before he started cutting Snow’s hair.

Snow warned him severely to always cut with care, yet he still cut like a warlord.


There was a day he cut my hair and a better part of my head was cut also.

“guy see wound-wound for my head!” I said to him. And that was in the era when I was all “skull” a.k.a Gorimapa.

“no vex, take this thing spray am!” He handed me a spray.

I almost dance salsa when I sprayed.

“choi!! Which kin spray be this na?”

“no correct one!” He answered, “them bring am from Togo”


Whenever Togo was mentioned, I thought of no other than the Togolese Ambassador to Nigeria our Junior.

“abi na Junior bring am from Togo for you?” I asked.

“no oh! Na my supplier nahim supply am to me”





Two days on and some funny things started growing on my head.

“guy e get wetin dey grow for my head oh” I said,”come help me look weda na bumps”

“na Bumps oh!” Junior alarmed, “plenty bumps dey grow for your head”

“talk true?”

"true na, e reach like twenty!"

I so much detested anything bumps not to talk of Keliod. I was’t ugly at all, but for bumps to grow on a head as big as a Senegalese Paw Paw, it meant ugliness.







“Godwin don die today!” I cursed as I hurried to his shop that night.




“Godwin I wan see you inside!” I met him outside repairing his generator.

“I dey come make I repair my gen finish” He said.

“make I wait for you?” I yelled, “you are mad! You are really mad!!”

“you have given me bumbs! You f’ool!” I thundered.

“me!! Give you Bus?”

“hahahahahahahaha!! I never get motor, na Bus I go com get!”

“you dey laugh abi? You go soon cry!”

“why I no go laugh?” He said, “which Bus I give you?”


He staggered about forty steps backwards as I hit his chest hard.

“Flow! If you push me again, I go push you back, wetin sef!!” Like he was a bit frightened, I had taken him by surprise.

“see, you see this bangle wey I wear so, them dey call am Bami joko!” I yelled, “if I use am blow you, you go sidon for ground”


Sitting on the ground, that is what Bami joko means in Yoruba language, simply put, “blow and seat on the floor". Doing what? is what i can't tell.



I remember the first time the statement “Bami joko” was said to my hearing.


On our numerous official visits to the Television house of AIT, in Traffic something happened.

“how much be your belt?” Ezit asked.

A tall “suffer headed” guy hurried to his side of the window.

“na fourteen thousand naira”

“fourteen what!!” I was shocked.

“you surprise!” Snow said to me, “you no know say na inside GRA you dey!”

GRA my foot!



Only in Port Harcourt will you see a belt cost 14,000 naira. Where you wan start to price am?

Only in Port Harcourt will you eat a plate of food for as costly as 600 naira in a local “mama put” joint. If person wan chop "extra", how much e go com be?

Only in Port Harcourt will Suya 100 naira contain only three pieces of meat without onion. What of with onion? No ask me oh!



Mehn I miss Lagos.


“make I collect am 500 naira na” Ezit priced.

“five hundred wetin?” The seller asked.

“five hundred naira na” Ezit repeated.

For something you were told cost 14,000 naira and you priced 500 naira, how cruel!



“you for tell me make I dash you na!” The seller said.

“oya dash me na!” Ezit said.

“you dey mad! Poor boy like you!” The seller cursed.

“na your Papa be poor boy” Ezit attacked.

“no be poverty kill your Papa and Mama? Ezit was insulted.

“you must be mad for insulting my parents!” Ezit alighted the car.



Eyeballing each other, they both stood awaiting who the first puncher would be.

“if I blow you with this Bami joko, you go just sidon for ground!” The seller brought a ring out of his a pocket and wore it.

How can a ring make one sit down against his will? I thought.

Before I knew it, it all happen.

Ezit was seated on the floor stammering unending.




Before I said "Bami joko", Ezit collapsed.

dbabyboy:
Oga Flow,
I salute u ooo. your story was so fascinating and superfluous or so i thought. Thank you for making me laugh
U still flow, me i still they follow

Thanks for following

hahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahaha...d last part of d story got my ribs cracking....more 1759 to ur flow...sai flow..

People that wish to cheat go get 'bamijoko' so they can get away with it. Aaba. That Godwin guy should respect customers, cuz they keep his shop alive. But flow drop anoda banger o. The part wey dey bee me, be the way you dey describe the equipment for Godwin im shop wey dem rob. 'I pass my neighbour'. Hahahahaha.

Updates pls... or is something wrong with my fone? Boss flow, hope everything is kul with u cos u no longer update as frequently as u used to. Hopefully what's keeping u away is a source of joy.

eROCK247:
Updates pls... or is something wrong with my fone? Boss flow, hope everything is kul with u cos u no longer update as frequently as u used to. Hopefully what's keeping u away is a source of joy.

I tried upadating yesterday, to no avail

its like Nairaland had network problem.

We woke up to Saint Valantaine’s day with hunger and no food in the house.




“omoh make we go thief plantain na?””I suggested, “we no fit stay like this na”.

“for where we go thief the plantain na?” Snow asked.

“e get one plantain wey don mature for landlord backyard” I said.

“so you wan make we go thief am?” Junior asked.

“yes na!” I said, “una dey fear?”

“God forbid! How I go fear?”

“ehn! If you no dey fear, make we go na!”

“who go climb?” Junior asked.

“na me na” The Monkey himself.


If Riches are as a measure of how many trees one has climbed, then I think I should be amongst the richest men in Africa.





I will never forget the day I defiled gravity.

I was 7 and very energetic. Mango was the only fruit in abundant in the barracks, in fact even up till this moment, it still is. That is why it sounds funny whenever anyone close to me decide that out of all the fruits in this world, Mango was the fruit he/she decides to buy and eat. At some point I saw Mango as not part of fruits but just a weed that bore fruits.


Eating Mangoes first thing when I returned from school was a norm to me, not to me alone, but to every male and female my age.


So one afternoon I returned from school and as usual there was no food to eat. I, my younger brother and a friend Cosmos set for the biggest Mango tree in the Cantonment; Papa Demola’s.

That was in the era when trees are named according to the head of the house it stood in front of, and the head also made sure no one but his family members pluck from the tree.


One thing was sure then, and that thing was that “the bigger the tree, the more Ants it housed”. And when I mean Ant, I mean mighty Ants.


I being the best climber amongst the three of us climbed first to clear the coast, then Cosmos followed while my younger brother stayed on ground to pick the fruits as they fell.


“Ugo! Your trouser don tear for nyash” Cosmos said.

“I know!” I replied, “e no mean anything”. But my s'crotum dangled.


We had plucked about 10 Mangoes when all of a sudden Cosmos started shaking the branches in other for the ripe Mangoes to fall leaving the unripe ones on the tree.

“why you dey shake am na” I complained, “you no know say you go shake them the Ant comot?”


“guy make we shake am, if them the Ant comot, we go run go down” He said, “you no know say Papa Demola go soon come back?”



Soon I saw Ants climbed my legs; about ten on the right leg and uncountable on the left.

“Cosmos the Ant don scatter oh!” I yelled.


Numbering a tree branches from below, then I was in the 143rd branch, while Cosmos was in the 67th branch I think.


“Monkey sabi jump branch-Monkey sabi jump branch, na if the branch dey close oh” Goes an adage in Pidgin.



I jumped from the 86th branch to the 79th branch and I did the sign of the cross that my hands didn’t fail me to a hold.

But when I heard; “Papa Demola don dey come!! See him Motor from far” That increased the number of branches I skipped to 10.

“you sure say na him motor?” I asked s’tupidly.

“na him motor na, look na, e don dey reach our block”


At that juncture, the Ants were now biting my s’crotal sack, and grinding the pipe it carried.

“I don die oh!” I cried bitterly.


I knew not what was more dangerous; Papa Demola's 14 strokes of the cane when he caught me or the Ants having my p’enis for lunch.

“Cosmos wait for me na!” I pleaded.

In OYO state “On Your Own” was the rule. As I heard Cosmos landed on the ground, then i traveled to OYO.


“A good friend sticks closer than a brother” Both friend and brother were gone in no time, leaving me in OYO state.



I was able to crush a handful of the Ants that bit my b’lockus but the ones heading to my a’sshole was beyond my reach.


My Mother had once told us a story of a boy when she was younger that Ants entered his A’nus and he died, she had severely warned us to be careful with Ants. We heeded to her advice and Ant was the most dreaded Animal to me and my brother.



I dipped a finger into my a’sshole and two mighty Ants came out with it. For the records, this happened in the era when “s’hit and no clean nyash” reigned.




Timo postulated the “s’hit and no clean nyash” law, which stated that; when one poo and wear his short leaving his a’ss unclean, he would be regarded as a “Big boy”, that the American musician Tupac doesn’t clean his a’ss whenever he poo.

It further stated that before Tupac died in 1996, he quoted “s’hit ain’t Roses” to prove he actually hated toilet papers.

During that period when “s’hit no clean nyash” reigned, every house you visited would sure smell poo as Air freshener. At some point the girls joined.

It got to the point that for you to walk with the “Big boys” your a’ss will be perceived first, and it was done on daily bases.









I dipped another finger into my a'sshole, and not Ants but Poo came out with it.

I smelled it to confirm if it was my poo and not the Ants that pooed inside me. Since it was mine, I rubbed it off on my shirt and jumped on.


I saw that it wasn’t possible that I would be able to jump my way down the tree before Papa Demola drove in so I devised a hiding spot.

Close to the Mango tree grew so many plantain trees so I swiftly moved towards that direction.



From the Mango tree, I was soon on a Plantain tree but my problem at that juncture was that I was heavier than the Plantain leaves that housed me.

I balanced myself with my hands firmly holding two plantain trees while I dangled in between then. My position could best be likened to one of the thieves by the side of Jesus Christ during crucifixion.





The long and short is that I was accused of stealing Plantain and Mango.

As funny as it sounds, my brother and friend denied they were with me, they said they were sleeping although.





Not only was I flogged 20 strokes of the cane on my Ant infested a’ss, I was called an armed robber because stealing plantain then was a taboo; the greatest of all crimes.
















The Plantain tree was so close to our fence and for one to cut it with ease, one needed to climb the rather old fence carefully, lest he falls.

“if I climb this fence, Junior you go give me the cutlass” I said.

We had agreed that if I cut the Plantain, I will from the top throw it to Junior who will in turn throw to Snow that will finally throw it into our room. The throw show!


I carefully struck it noise free and held the plantain bunch so it wouldn't fall.

“Junior catch!” I threw the bunch of Plantain to Junior.


Vincent Enyama really needs to be coached by our Junior, and Iyker Cassillas needs to Watch Snow catch.


It was a done deal for sure, but what remained was for dear Flow to get down.

I was about jumping down when I heard a crack.

At first I thought it was my bone that cracked, but as I looked up, I saw “the world” crashing on me.


The Plantain tree landed on the fence. Part One!

Our dear fence shook me off and i fell like an Iroko tree. Part Two!



Lying face down with broken neck, the fence landed on my back. Part Three!




I thought I heard my spinal cord broke.

MannyAgyeiK:
People that wish to cheat go get 'bamijoko' so they can get away with it. Aaba. That Godwin guy should respect customers, cuz they keep his shop alive. But flow drop anoda banger o. The part wey dey bee me, be the way you dey describe the equipment for Godwin im shop wey dem rob. 'I pass my neighbour'. Hahahahaha.

Make una no vex.

I wasn't able to update due to some network problem, i think from Nairaland.

mo ku oo, my rib don crack.. Rotflmao

Since the A'boki experience, I promised to keep searching for a job but with close surveillance on my CV when submitted.



I submitted my CV in a very big bar and I received a message to that effect.

It read thus: “K-Cey bar is pleased to invite you for an interview for the position of supervisor you applied for, make sure you are available for an interview by 1pm tomorrow. PS: No African time please!”

Short, simple and straight to the point.



“them those bar don call you?” Snow asked.

“yes oh! Them send me message say make I come for interview tomorrow” I replied.

“guy no vex oh, like how much you think say them fit pay me as Supervisor?” I needed to know.

“mehn to work for that kin bar as supervisor, the money go big oh” He replied.

“ehen!! Like how much?”

“ehnnnnn! e fit reach sixty thousand naira oh” He said.

“you mean am?”

“yes na!” He answered, “you no know the kin big men wey dey come drink there?”

“but wetin you go wear go the interview na?” He asked.

“wear as how?”

“cloth wey you go wear go na?”

“na normal cloth na?” I said, “normally T-shirt and jeans”

“haba Flow! How you go wear ordinary T-shirt go interview for K-Cey bar” He said, “you for kuku wear singlet and boxers go na?”

“wetin you mean?” I was curious.

“I mean say you no suppose wear T-shirt go that kin interview”

“how na?”

“I mean say you suppose dress well go there na”

“dress well as how? no be bar? T-shirt and jeans make sense na” I waited for the shocker of my life.


“you suppose wear that your suit and nack am with correct tie”

“you say wetin?”

And this was in the season when the sun was at its peak.



“so you say make I wear suit and tie go interview for bar?”

“yes na!” He said, “you no know say-you are addressed the way you dress?”

“you are addressed the way you dress, no be for bar oh” I said, “and for this kin hot sun wey dey shine this days?”

“guy I know wetin I dey tell you!” He said, “this bar no be ordinary bar!”

“if you wear correct suit go them go know say you ready for the supervisor job” He added.





After arguing with him for a while, I succumbed.

I decided that suit was it; suit and jacket.





12:09pm the next day, I was set for the interview. Dressed on a black suit, and a brown and black jacket housed by a starched and ironed pure white shirt, I walked princely in other for my well polished shoe not to buy dust.




“where you dey go wey you dress like this?” I met Padiman on my way.

“I dey go one occasion” I answered.

“which occasion?”

“na one seminar like that” I replied.

“Flow! So you wan become fada?”

“me? Which day I tell you that one?” I never had discussed with Padiman telling him I had a calling to priesthood. Never!

“yes na! no be wetin you just talk now now?”

“which time I talk like that?” I was lost.

“you talk say you wan go seminar” He said, “abi no be people wey wan become fada nahim dey go seminar?”

“hahahahahahah! Oboy you be olodo oh!” I said, “na seminar I talk no be seminary”


“ehnnn! I don hear” He said, “I no go school na, my own school na for shrine wey my Papa be my lecturer, and another of my school na Garri”

Garri and Shrine seminary school,Okigwe, Imo State. Imagine such name for a seminary school.


“so na wetin dem dey do for seminar?” He inquired.

“ok, seminar?” I thought of the right answer.

“yes na!”


“seminar na party where everybody fit come chop belleful”

“ehennnnn! You mean am?” He bought it.

“yes na!” I said, “na where Government dey give people wey need food free food make dem chop”

“ehennnn! You mean am?”

“yes na!” I said, “and na any food wey you want them go give you chop oh”

“ehennn! Even fried Rice?” he asked.

“yes na, even yam porridge” I answered.

“ehennn!! Why you com wear suit dey go seminar na?” He asked.

“na because na me dey serve the food to people, na like this them say make we dey dress, na our uniform be this”


“Flow! But you wicked oh!” He said, “why you no tell me since na, make I follow dey serve the food”

“no na, the people wey dey serve the food na graduates only” I said, “and you no be graduate”

“ehnnn! I know say I no be graduate, you for tell me, maybe I for dey assist you, I for be assistant sharer”

“assistant sharer abi? Na true oh” I said, “no vex, if them start to dey collect people for assistant sharer I go let you know”


“ok na! make I dey go, I don late!”

“but wait oh! Why you com carry file for hand na? wetin una dey use am do?” He asked.

“we dey use am record the number of people wey don chop” I said, “so that cheating no go dey”

“ok oh! But I wan ask you for one favour oh!”

“wetin be that?”

“if you share the food finish ehn!!..............” He said and handed over a polythene bag to me.

“.........take this nylon bag, use am bring meat for me”

“meat?”

“yes na? abi them no dey put food for the meat wey una dey share?” He confused me.

“as how?” I was as confused as Charlie Chaplin.

“I say them no dey put food for the meat wey una dey share?” He confused me the more.

“guy! Food for meat abi meat for food?” I corrected him.

“sorry jor! Food for meat! I mean Meat for food!” He said, “As your man wey I be, I want make you help me arrange some meat for this nylon”

“you know say I dey like meat na”

“hahahahahahahahah!” I laughed, “no wahala my man, I go help you arrange them the meat wey I go fit arrange”

“ehen, you be correct guy!!”He said, “help me arrange big-big ones oh!”

“hahahahahahahah!” I laughed.






Little did I know laughter would soon turn tears.

hayurmidey:
mo ku oo, my rib don crack.. Rotflmao

Then you should read this last update

Hahahaha,padiman wan chop meat okay o mk i see as d tin go tk finish.
Oga plow i dey try o

More please

Thumbs up boss! Ur updates just countered a stressful day...