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Judge This Case - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Judge This Case by ernecy(m): 5:47pm On May 06, 2015
Interesting thread!! I need to comment, but first

Re: Judge This Case by alaoeri: 5:47pm On May 06, 2015
Blackett:
I'll love them to get along. She'll even apologize and eat all the food in my mothers house.

But when push comes to shove, and my mother actually asks me to "choose between her and my fiancee", I'm choosing my fiancee.
Fiancée that will run away when the chips are down, anyway we have different orientation.

2 Likes

Re: Judge This Case by yommys01(m): 5:48pm On May 06, 2015
mekaboy:


In other words ur parents are the cause of the other other girls death or what? Common sense is not common, nobody is forcing anything on anybody here. Its just like a young man of 25yrs is sitting down in a bus, while a 65yrs old woman is standing by your side because there is not sit.

Nobody is forcing you to get up for her to sit, but you should use common sense.
You are just been idiotic. Did I say that? She died cos luth doctors made a mistake to which they admitted. Don't be too quick to judge. I am not one that gives in to those superstitious bullshiit but I am strongly against parents acting as though they are GOD.

Even GOD allows us to make mistakes.

2 Likes

Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 5:48pm On May 06, 2015
Koolking:


Your location: Sambisa. Roger that!!! Extraction team on the way...stay put
I am one of the extraction team.
Re: Judge This Case by innervoice(m): 5:48pm On May 06, 2015
adonismuller:
Even though she wasn't hungry she should have taken a bite,s[b]he made the mother in-law feel she is scared of her being poisoned[/b]

Btw,they ate before leaving,how come the husy to be is eating?

If the mother thinks like this, then she has a serious problem. She is either stvpid or insane.

1 Like

Re: Judge This Case by tellwisdom: 5:48pm On May 06, 2015
..And the movie title is?? sad
Re: Judge This Case by smsdigito: 5:49pm On May 06, 2015
amokeme:
Oh God, pls bless me with a mother in law like my mother.
my mother is very wonderful. how about that? sad
Re: Judge This Case by yommys01(m): 5:51pm On May 06, 2015
alaoeri:

Fiancée that will run away when the chips are down, anyway we have different orientation.
And you are yet to see parents who turn their backs on their kids?
Re: Judge This Case by mekaboy(m): 5:51pm On May 06, 2015
amokeme:
Oh God, pls bless me with a mother in law like my mother.

Go ahead and repeat the same mistake she made, and you might end up marrying your mother. I hope nairaland ladies are learning, this might be the reason most girls these days end up single and some say the mans mother is a witch. Common sense is not common, u can bind and cast all the demons and witches out of Nigeria, but if u dont know how to win a mans mothers heart, then your a learner.

Women of these days, azukwara unu azu (were you given home training at all).

4 Likes

Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 5:52pm On May 06, 2015
Yes, the mother has the right to be angry. The girl eyes no reach ground, if not _ she would know better than rejecting the food.
In igbo culture, I believe it's a sign of acceptance when you take food offered to you. Even if it's water - you try drink.

The first time I went to my inlaws place ehn, the devil was on matter. Everything that innocent woman prepared, I don't eat.
Starting from the appetiser (pawpaw) to the main dish (egusi and garri) then dessert (goat meat peppersoup).

Chai, I just dey swallow everything- dey smile...lols.

When I got home, by 12am...I started vomiting, my mum was so scared ehn, she just asked me 'did you eat goat meat?' hahahaha. I said yes, admist tears... she had to call my hubby (then fiance), na him carry me go hospital. After all na im mama give me food chop grin

So, I no blame the girl too.


She should have clearly stated it, 'mama i'm allergic to this', trust me- the woman would definitely hustle something else for her to eat.

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Judge This Case by propet(m): 5:53pm On May 06, 2015
Celexboy:
To me the boy is the one to be blamed because de girl is his choice so they suppose to be no secret inbtwn then,he could have kindly told the girl that diz de first time to come home togeda so she have to tak atleast a bit of it.de mother must also be blame 4 nt blaming her son.
for me i would not tell her any thing..do she reason with her anus?

1 Like

Re: Judge This Case by itsMrIke(m): 5:53pm On May 06, 2015
When you plan to visit someone with the intention of spending the night, it is expected that you will have to eat there.

The only time you can spend the night in a person's house without having to eat is if you got there late on an emergency.

This trip was planned, the mother was informed and she prepared to receive them. For the lady to refuse the mother's food speaks more of who she is as a person than the mother-in-law to be. It is obvious that she just followed the guy to his mother's place to fulfill all righteousness, that is no wife.

The man is a slowpoke as well. So he is going to spend the night with his mom and he still allowed his fiancee to cook and then proceeded to eat?? What kind of people are these? Don't they know how simple social meetings are done?

I do not support the mother's stance on asking the son to choose between she and the fiancee. I will instead have the mother talk to the son about the type of woman he plans to marry, if he insists then she should allow him go ahead and live his life. But please, people, do not ask the mother not to get angry, do not force her to forgive the girl and do not dismiss her stance, for I see too that this wife to be is far more than she is letting-on

4 Likes

Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 5:53pm On May 06, 2015
EricRichie:
This is the most reasonable post I have read today...

The guy's mother is right..

1) the lady should have joined his mother in the kitchen and should have aided her in the preparing of the food..

2) the lady failed the so called "mother in-laws" test.. Refusing to eat the food from your potential mother inlaw is considered highly disrespectful and condemnable..

The girl is a wolf in sheep's clothing, and the mother has clearly seen that she isn't the right person for her son..




EricRichie..


Take it easy, I dislike ladies with pepper-body.

She was a guest, she just got to the house few minutes before food was served, and you expect her to jump into the kitchen?

Which kind over familiarity be that.


I think she should have eaten something tho, but even as she didn't, it should not become an issue.


Dear mama is over reacting.

2 Likes

Re: Judge This Case by UIA04(f): 5:53pm On May 06, 2015
Nonsense
So what If the girl didn't know that her actions would be seen as rude by the mom. Not everyone has the same upbringing. What may be viewed as rude by one culture or family you were brought up in may not be seen as anything by another.
Why couldn't the mother correct the girl as an elder. Like say it is easy to find wife this day and age for you to lose one cause of some dumb test. Mtchewww
If the girl was dangotes daughter will the mama react in that way
I suspect the women has something she isn't telling her son and is hiding behind the food issue.

4 Likes

Re: Judge This Case by WackyJ1(m): 5:54pm On May 06, 2015
So the girl went to the mother's place, she didn't even bother to help the woman in the kitchen or at least go and gist with the mother in law.

Furthermore, the girl refused to eat the food being offered to her future husband! That if not anything is a sign of disunity. Did they not come together, if she is not hungry, why is the man hungry?
So imagine the scene when the husband will be eating the scrumptious meal and the girl will just be sitting there looking and moping not even taking one bite from it.

If they both arrived at around 2pm from a 3hr Journey and they left around 9am the next day, it means that the girl did not eat food from whenever she ate before they traveled till whenever they arrived or she ate snacks and preferred to her mother in law's food.

Yes Looking at all these things the mother in Law is not being malicious in this case but scared for her son. That girl is strong! Strong witch, strong wickedness.

The only excuse she had is an alarming level of Naiveté and I don't think you reading this are convinced that a girl of marriage able age is that naive.

6 Likes

Re: Judge This Case by Tolubory(m): 5:54pm On May 06, 2015
shey na Nollywood ! Abi Reality?
Re: Judge This Case by alaoeri: 5:54pm On May 06, 2015
yommys01:
And you are yet to see parents who turn their backs on their kids?
No smoke without fire, no right thinking parents will ever turn their backs against their wards, the question should be what actions such wards carried out that required their parents doing such things?
Re: Judge This Case by yommys01(m): 5:54pm On May 06, 2015
johnydon22:
Wooow a very nice one. . . . In this part of igbo land or maybe in igbo land as a whole, taking something offered to you is a sign of acceptance.
tho am not sure many people still care.

the girl may not be hungry and thereby she didn't eat the food due to that and i see nothing in it, but she created the wrong impressing on the woman owing that she may think the girl left the food because she was rude and didn't want to touch her dish.

its just misunderstanding, the girl may have done it innocently and the woman misunderstood it. i dont blame any of them.
the girl is an African she should have known the implications of her actions from the unset, she just acted like a white woman. at least she should tasted the food.

anyway i think she should apologize to mama and tell her she didn't mean it the way she took it, she's a Nigerian so i trust she can conjure up a very nice lie..wink
Not everyone knows every African unwritten laws. I didn't even know such a law exist and I am sure so many others knows. The mother ought to be a mother. It could well be her daughter and who says she would not have come up with another excuse if the girl had accepted the food?

A mother that behaves in such a way should be put in her way. It is either she gains a daughter or lose a son. Simple.

3 Likes

Re: Judge This Case by yommys01(m): 5:55pm On May 06, 2015
alaoeri:

No smoke without fire, no right thinking parents will ever turn their backs against their wards, the question should be what actions such wards carried out that required their parents doing such things?
Okay. I won't say more than OKAY.
Re: Judge This Case by alreadyknowsam: 5:57pm On May 06, 2015
Maybe you forgot the role a parent. To train up a child until he/she is able to make right choices. It is obvious the so-called man is still a child if for whatever reason his mother does not accept the lady. And that of course means the mother has equally failed in her responsibility..

1 Like

Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 5:57pm On May 06, 2015
alaoeri:

Fiancée that will run away when the chips are down, anyway we have different orientation.
I'm guessing mama will be around forever as well. . .

1 Like

Re: Judge This Case by HizMissy(f): 5:58pm On May 06, 2015
Why didn't d mother-in-law insist, and d son too?

1 Like

Re: Judge This Case by yommys01(m): 5:58pm On May 06, 2015
WackyJ1:
So the girl went to the mother's place, she didn't even bother to help the woman in the kitchen or at least go and gist with the mother in law.

Furthermore, the girl refused to eat the food being offered to her future husband! That if not anything is a sign of disunity. Did they not come together, if she is not hungry, why is the man hungry?
So imagine the scene when the husband will be eating the scrumptious meal and the girl will just be sitting there looking and moping not even taking one bite from it.

If they both arrived at around 2pm from a 3hr Journey and they left around 9am the next day, it means that the girl did not eat food from whenever she ate before they traveled till whenever they arrived or she ate snacks and preferred to her mother in law's food.

Yes Looking at all these things the mother in Law is not being malicious in this case but scared for her son. That girl is strong! Strong witch, strong wickedness.

The only excuse she had is an alarming level of Naiveté and I don't think you reading this are convinced that a girl of marriage able age is that naive.
She is a witch cos she made a mistake. I wonder how much of a saint she was when marrying the guys father.

I hate when people behave like they have no sin. We all are sinners. What happens to lecturing the girl? Assuming the girl is the woman's daughter? And the son has too sin too?

1 Like

Re: Judge This Case by Sekooni(m): 5:58pm On May 06, 2015
See quick conclusion.
Cus she refused to eat? make IFA slap any mama wey follow me try dat.
Mehn dat was too quick for d mother in law.
Complete crap.

On this, me wunt listen to her tho...

"I no sure say u get mother! U are so disrespectful and ignorant!!"
Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 6:01pm On May 06, 2015
Kachisbarbie:
Yes, the mother has the right to be angry. The girl eyes no reach ground, if not _ she would know better than rejecting the food.

The first time I went to my inlaws place ehn, the devil was on matter. Everything that innocent woman prepared, I don't eat.
Starting from the appetiser (pawpaw) to the main dish (egusi and garri) then dessert (goat meat peppersoup).

Chai, I just dey swallow everything- dey smile...lols.

When I got home, by 12am...I started vomiting, my mum was so scared ehn, she just asked me 'did you eat g meat?' hahahaha. I said yes, admist tears... she had to call my hubby (then fiance), na him carry me go hospital. After all na im mama give me food chop grin

So, I no blame the girl too.


She should have clearly stated it, 'mama i'm allergic to this', trust me- the woman would definitely hustle something else for her to eat.
Hahahahahahh but what happened to goat meat? I love goat meat oo.

@topic she has the right to get angry but not opposing the marriage to the extent of saying over her dead body.

I can actually get mama a very bad wife that can finish everything she cooked at first meeting.

1 Like

Re: Judge This Case by yommys01(m): 6:01pm On May 06, 2015
Blackett:
My mother can go sit down on a nice chair in this situation.

No way am I choosing her over the woman I love and want to marry.

Mothers can be very selfish and too unreasonable sometimes. Does she know how long I searched before I found the one? Why didn't she believe when I, her son, told her that we ate before coming? If she thinks she can ruin my plans because she gave birth to me, and because of some inconsequential nonsense about food, she should think again.
Spot on bro. I can't forget in a hurry how my own relationship got ruined just because I tried to please people who can not be pleased.

The bible says we should honour our parents, but the bible also says we should use discretion. Mothers need to know they are not GOD. They are just custodians to guide their wards aright and not be impostors.

I am sure even if the girl has passed the so called test, she would have had an excuse or how can simple thing as not eating food make her impose her WILL on the son?

2 Likes

Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 6:01pm On May 06, 2015
osile2012:
A young man has been dating this lady for about 2 years,They both have jobs, and get along well. The guy decides to take the relationship to the next level(Marriage). He calls his mother and tells her he will come to show her his wife to be. They traveled about 3 hrs to get there.

They got to the mans family house, she greeted the mans mother very well and everyone was happy. As the conversation went on, the mother inlaw went to the kitchen, came out and asked the girl where will she eat? in the parlour of dinning table? The young girl innocently said, "No ma, dont bother i am not hungry" . She said ok and brought pounded yam and soup for the man and he ate .

Conversation went on normally and they slept and traveled the next day.When he got back to base, called the mother and told her he had arrived. The mother said thank GOD, but what she wants to tell him is that, it is over her dead body that he will marry that girl that refused her food. He said all attempts to explain that they ate before getting there fell on deaf ears.

She said he has to choose between her and that girl.

I discussed this with some mothers, and they all said they would have done the same. No who is right and who is wrong ? Whose side are you on? the Lady or the mans mother.?

If you were the guy, what would you do? Marry her without your mothers blessing or find someone else ?

I'm sorry but the man's mother is too petty and a trouble MIL in waiting
That should be a reason for the girl to flee from that family
Doesn't the girl have a choice in this matter?

3 Likes

Re: Judge This Case by alaoeri: 6:02pm On May 06, 2015
Blackett:
I'm guessing mama will be around forever as well. . .
That's why i said we have different orientation & the way we are brought up, as for me my immediate family first before any other thing, i didn't get serious with my fiancée not until my mama rubber stamped it.
Re: Judge This Case by kristen12(f): 6:02pm On May 06, 2015
I've learnt a lot here, I never knew it was wrong not to collect food from someone like a "potential in-law". Guys here dey vex wella.
Re: Judge This Case by RaeMystix: 6:03pm On May 06, 2015
EricRichie:
This is the most reasonable post I have read today...

The guy's mother is right..

1) the lady should have joined his mother in the kitchen and should have aided her in the preparing of the food..

2) the lady failed the so called "mother in-laws" test.. Refusing to eat the food from your potential mother inlaw is considered highly disrespectful and condemnable..

The girl is a wolf in sheep's clothing, and the mother has clearly seen that she isn't the right person for her son..




EricRichie..

So you mean to tell me that the girl has no right to refuse to eat her so called future inlaw's food?.
The mother inlaw does need to take the stick out off her behind, cos it seems like she does not like the girl a bit, but just happened to have found one silly excuse to find

Now this is something that has happened just once, not twice, nor thrice...I call it bull $hit....He needs to speak with his mom and ask her if there is/are any other reason/s, why she does not find the girl suitable for him.....Then, he'll get the answer.

Perhaps he shouldn't Marry the girl, cos she might be the one dogging the bullet from the future -Monster inlaw, cos mama is insecure after seeing him in love he is with his girl, and might be that she is afraid that she wouldn't be ablegs to wrap her around her fingers?.
.Some Nigerian mom's are like that.


How do you know she didn't give the mama an helping hand in preparing the meal ?.

3 Likes

Re: Judge This Case by timilehing(m): 6:03pm On May 06, 2015
The 1st time I visited my fiancée's mum I didn't taste anything. I told them next time & when next time arrived, I ate like it's my mother's food. Some mothers can be so irrational

4 Likes

Re: Judge This Case by Nobody: 6:04pm On May 06, 2015
alaoeri:

That's why i said we have different orientation & the way we are brought up, as for me my immediate family first before any other thing, i didn't get serious with my fiancée not until my mama rubber stamped it.
Ok.

1 Like

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