pickabeau1:


women marrying after 35

right age for marriage?
the word right is not the best but anything from ,30 for guys and 27 for women is ok

this allows for them to have a steady financial base

How many Nigerian women decide to marry after 35 due to career?

Do you think in the Nigerian space, people marry late due to building careers?

@shollypopzz:

Beautiful analysis

If they are both working, why can't both partners pitch in to the best of their ability?

Superwomen, carry go

pickabeau1:


So what do you propose..
Focus on one area?

Loll, no. That's the last thing I'd say being a firm advocate of the financial independence of women. The problem is, many *woman often think it's their responsibility to make sure everything gets done - and if honey doesn’t do it, they’ll do it. They’ll make arrangements to have somebody come in, they’ll leave their job during their lunch break, be there to make sure the person gets into the house to fix something, and then go back to work. They'll enable people around them - they'll baby their children, and then baby their partner/husband as well! They'll banish the "NO!" at the tip of their tongues at work, despite their already teeming workload.

The real problem is, the minute they take on all these expectations, it not only becomes their own expectation of themselves, but everyone else's expectation of them. What they don't know is that saying "No!" when you need to actually gets you ahead, because not only is taking on too much, or "doing it all" stress-inducing, it's counter-productive! These women in the articles obviously needed to delegate, but no they were stuffing mushrooms and then blaming feminism for it instead.

Speaking for myself, I'm guilty of over-burdening myself too. I literally micro-manage almost everything. I recently tried to take on a second (part-time) job for the summer (for discounts and savings not gonna lie ) despite already having a commitment, school, and full-time work. I'm crazier than most people at this, so I actually fear for myself sometimes. I know there are people who 2/3/4 jobs (they're superhumans IMO), but I work nights, and it would've been insane to keep at it. I lasted, like, two weeks at the part-time Smiling at customers, and pretending I cared about their existence proved harder than I thought.

*I referenced some of The Broad Experience here*

pickabeau1:
Well care giving and nurturing a child are two different facets of care

I guess one can say that.

The woman is biologically suited to this task due to the anatomy as feeding is a basic instinct

LMAO! This is bullsh1t and you know it. Women are better at nurturing because they have boobs?? Bwhahahahahaha!

So what happens when the milk dries off?? Do our nurturing ability and skills die down??

You said, men are natural providers, so let me ask you. What the hell are they providing if not food for their family to eat?? I would assume that also makes them nurturing since it is their natural disposition to provide. Or are fathers less likely to feed their kids than mothers??

pickabeau1:


women marrying after 35

I guess you came up with this number because of the increased complications conceiving for most women who are 35+? This is where men have the upper hand in terms of being a parent - they do not have to go through the rigors of having a child. They can be 65 and find a young host to carry their child. (Actually, I sorta take that back. As men get older, their sexual drive reduces, erectile dysfunction is rampant and they begin to suffer from low sperm-count. So, it's not all that rosy for y'all either)

Since we understand that this is a shortcoming, women who plan on rearing kids at a much older age are advised to freeze their eggs and use a surrogate. This is a way of coping with that problem, won't you agree??

If you notice, the men in the article who left their wives and you claimed married younger women, already had kids. So the divorce wasn't because their feminist wife couldn't give birth to a child.

Feminism is asking more women to marry when they are financially comfortable, not when they are 35+. I understand that some women might not gain financial independence till that age, which is why the writer is blaming feminism but there is also a big risk that comes with giving birth while you are not financially independent.

My guess is that, it is left to the woman to decide the lesser of two evils.

bukatyne:


How many Nigerian women decide to marry after 35 due to career?

Do you think in the Nigerian space, people marry late due to building careers?

Your question is not clear
make your own observation then we can discuss

---

Shollypopzz:

I guess you came up with this number because of the increased complications conceiving for most women who are 35+? This is where men have the upper hand in terms of being a parent - they do not have to go through the rigors of having a child. They can be 65 and find a young host to carry their child.

I will agree that difficulty in conception is one of the reasons which also led to men avoiding older women
So there is a double whammy - ease of conception, fewer partners willing to marry them.

Since we understand that this is a shortcoming, women who plan on rearing kids at a much older age are advised to freeze their eggs and use a surrogate. This is a way of coping with that problem, won't you agree??

Aside from the cost of such a procedure, will a woman in her 40s be the best placed to start the parenting gig.. another question
Yes i am sure this will become more popular as the years go by.. freezing

If you notice, the men in the article who left their wives and you claimed married younger women, already had kids. So the divorce wasn't because their feminist wife couldn't give birth to a child.
Feminism is asking more women to marry when they are financially comfortable, not when they are 35+. I understand that some women might not gain financial independence till that age, which is why the writer is blaming feminism but there is also a big risk that comes with giving birth while you are not financially independent.
My guess is that, it is left to the woman to decide the lesser of two evils.

I agree.. that was why the woman who wondered why she was alone was called naive

EnlightenedSoul:


Loll, no. That's the last thing I'd say being a firm advocate of the financial independence of women. The problem is, many *woman often think it's their responsibility to make sure everything gets done - and if honey doesn’t do it, they’ll do it. They’ll make arrangements to have somebody come in, they’ll leave their job during their lunch break, be there to make sure the person gets into the house to fix something, and then go back to work. They'll enable people around them - they'll baby their children, and then baby their partner/husband as well! They'll banish the "NO!" at the tip of their tongues at work, despite their already teeming workload.

The real problem is, the minute they take on all these expectations, it not only becomes their own expectation of themselves, but everyone else's expectation of them. What they don't know is that saying "No!" when you need to actually gets you ahead, because not only is taking on too much, or "doing it all" stress-inducing, it's counter-productive! These women in the articles obviously needed to delegate, but no they were stuffing mushrooms and then blaming feminism instead.

Speaking for myself, I'm guilty of over-burdening myself too. I literally micro-manage almost everything. I recently tried to take on a second (part-time) job for the summer (for discounts and savings not gonna lie ) despite already having a commitment, school, and full-time work. I'm crazier than most people at this, so I actually fear for myself sometimes. I know there are people who 2/3/4 jobs (they're superhumans IMO), but I work nights, and it would've been insane to keep at it. I lasted, like, two weeks at the part-time Smiling at customers, and pretending I cared about their existence proved harder than I thought.

*I referenced some of The Broad Experience here*

Stress... maybe this is why women live longer and now the modern woman is getting a load of the stress men were wont to take on
Do we expect a reduction in the gaps between male and female life expectancies...
Feminism the great leveller

pickabeau1:

I will agree that difficulty in conception is one of the reasons which also led to men avoiding older women
So there is a double whammy - ease of conception, fewer partners willing to marry them.

I actually edited my post, this is the edit:

(Actually, I sorta take that back. As men get older, their sexual drive reduces, erectile dysfunction is rampant and they begin to suffer from low sperm-count. So, it's not all that rosy for y'all either)

You're right, women aged 35 and above are going to have difficulty attracting men their age because most are married and those that have never been married and are willing to start a family, see the conceiving complication as a big issue.

Your "what do you propose" question comes to mind. I think the more society accepts the idea of freezing one's eggs and using a surrogate, the better for us all.

Aside from the cost of such a procedure, will a woman in her 40s be the best placed to start the parenting gig .. another question
Yes i am sure this will become more popular as the years go by.. freezing

What do you mean by that?? Will a MAN in his 40s be best placed to start the parenting gig??

Shollypopzz:

I actually edited my post, this is the edit:


You're right, women aged 35 and above are going to have difficulty attracting men their age because most are married and those that have never been married and are willing to start a family, see the conceiving complication as a big issue.

yes advances in science show that older men have genetic issues too
the question is now in what propoertion viz-a-viz older females

Your "what do you propose" question comes to mind. I think the more society accepts the idea of freezing one's eggs and using a surrogate, the better for us all.


What do you mean by that?? Will a MAN in his 40s be best placed to start the parenting gig??

I guess we have to see how it goes with this acceptance
Nothing like fresh eggs though... i know that is psychology...

Did u hear of the women who had a child from cells harvested from her ovary in Belgium.. superb news.. i hope the cost can come down sufficiently to provide help to people whose ovaries are damaged to no fault of their own

HAHA.. must u try to equalise everything
More often than not, A man in his 40s will have a younger female in the parenting gig... now thats the fact

pickabeau1:

HAHA.. must u try to equalise everything
More often than not, A man in his 40s will have a younger female in the parenting gig... now thats the fact

Except I don't know what parenting means, are you saying the younger you are, the better you are are at being a parent??

I am not talking about the conceiving process.

Shollypopzz:


Except I don't know what parenting means, are you saying the younger you are, the better you are are at being a parent??

I am not talking about the conceiving process.

Nope..you got it wrong
I said a older man who has no experience will have a younger woman with him...unlike the case of the woman starting parenting late

Shollypopzz:


Reading is fundamental.....



Your name - "Cute hector" and your profile picture do not go together

Aww! This is wickedness to the core

Shollypopzz

Excellent analysis.

pickabeau1:


Your question is not clear
make your own observation then we can discuss

My questions are clear

EnlightenedSoul:


Loll, no. That's the last thing I'd say being a firm advocate of the financial independence of women. The problem is, many *woman often think it's their responsibility to make sure everything gets done - and if honey doesn’t do it, they’ll do it. They’ll make arrangements to have somebody come in, they’ll leave their job during their lunch break, be there to make sure the person gets into the house to fix something, and then go back to work. They'll enable people around them - they'll baby their children, and then baby their partner/husband as well! They'll banish the "NO!" at the tip of their tongues at work, despite their already teeming workload.

The real problem is, the minute they take on all these expectations, it not only becomes their own expectation of themselves, but everyone else's expectation of them. What they don't know is that saying "No!" when you need to actually gets you ahead, because not only is taking on too much, or "doing it all" stress-inducing, it's counter-productive! These women in the articles obviously needed to delegate, but no they were stuffing mushrooms and then blaming feminism for it instead.

Speaking for myself, I'm guilty of over-burdening myself too. I literally micro-manage almost everything. I recently tried to take on a second (part-time) job for the summer (for discounts and savings not gonna lie ) despite already having a commitment, school, and full-time work. I'm crazier than most people at this, so I actually fear for myself sometimes. I know there are people who 2/3/4 jobs (they're superhumans IMO), but I work nights, and it would've been insane to keep at it. I lasted, like, two weeks at the part-time Smiling at customers, and pretending I cared about their existence proved harder than I thought.

*I referenced some of The Broad Experience here*

I was like that When I was much younger before I learnt the sweet power of delegation

Now, living a stress free life as much as possible

Nobody takes Superwoman title to heaven

And smart work NOT hard work is rewarded

I agree to a very large extent with all that has been written in terms of the pressure women face trying to balance their career and the home. It's not easy I must confess, no point in denying that. Yes, women are multi-tasking but in the end, we are still humans.

However, I disagree that she blames it on Feminism. I am very ignorant of what feminism is so I can't even blame it on what I don't understand. I will also not blame societal expectations, inshort, I blame no one if I get depressed. I'll rather take full responsibility.

As you climb up the ladder in your career, it gets hotter, the competition gets real. And sometimes, as a woman, ur battle to cto the top is multi-faceted. You have to deal with the rigors of the job itself, and the men sometimes become an additional challenge - you have to fight the stereotype that woman are not suppose to be leaders even when you merit it; then you have to manage the home front - hubby, kids, etc

So truly, you can get a nervous breakdown from all these. Personally, how do I cope ? "Look like a girl, act like a lady, think like a man, work like a boss". The moment you step into that office, you become a man; if you are the boss, then be the boss. Nothing to be shy about. No stereotypes inside that wall.

To survive outside the office, you cannot let society dictate to you. About 6 months after I finished Youth Service in Naija, I had gotten a job and needed to get a ride badly. I was constantly working very late in the office and commercial transportation was getting riskier by the day. Then, I got all sorts of advices from people. Some said I shouldn't get a car at all, some said I should get a very small one - Why? Just because I was a young girl who needed to attract suitors. Hahahhahahahhahahaha of course I didn't listen to all the BS. I not only got a ride but got a driver as well. And life couldn't be sweeter after that. Did I also tell you that suitors started pouring in?

As a woman, I have since learned that you must not always allow society dictate to you but if you do, then it's your fault. Society does understand half the pressures you are facing. If as a lady you earn so much, you have to let your money work for you. Men are very good at this. You have to outsource a lot of ur traditional roles and do what you know how to do best. "Supervise". Get a nanny, get a cook, get a driver, cultivate personal relationships with ur kids teachers' at school. Build a strong support system for yourself at home, make them happy and you will live happily ever after. Of course, society will call you lazy, millennial woman, all sorts of names but really, what do you care? The ultimate is that you are healthy, happy, relaxed and fulfilled.

@pickabeau - have I addressed any of the points?
I don't know ooo

As per the late marriage and divorce ish, what's the evidence that it's their careers that make women marry late or get divorced? Are women without jobs faring any better?? I think it's just one of those sweeping statements people make so I won't address that.

bukatyne:


I was like that When I was much younger before I learnt the sweet power of delegation

Now, living a stress free life as much as possible

Nobody takes Superwoman title to heaven

And smart work NOT hard work is rewarded

Hahahahahhaha

Life become very sweet when you learn how to delegate baa

bukatyne, kimoni and enlightenedSoul, your write-ups are refreshing.

Kimoni:
I agree to a very large extent with all that has been written in terms of the pressure women face trying to balance their career and the home. It's not easy I must confess, no point in denying that. Yes, women are multi-tasking but in the end, we are still humans.

However, I disagree that she blames it on Feminism. I am very ignorant of what feminism is so I can't even blame it on what I don't understand. I will also not blame societal expectations, inshort, I blame no one if I get depressed. I'll rather take full responsibility.

Seems most of the respondents are in sync with the observations but disagree with the conclusion
so the issues exist..yes?

As you climb up the ladder in your career, it gets hotter, the competition gets real. And sometimes, as a woman, ur battle to cto the top is multi-faceted. You have to deal with the rigors of the job itself, and the men sometimes become an additional challenge - you have to fight the stereotype that woman are not suppose to be leaders even when you merit it; then you have to manage the home front - hubby, kids, etc

I agree but the question remains... why do women have to manage the home front.. according to shollypopz
This is the core of the question.. to be or not to be
This is the superwoman question...

So truly, you can get a nervous breakdown from all these. Personally, how do I cope ? "Look like a girl, act like a lady, think like a man, work like a boss". The moment you step into that office, you become a man; if you are the boss, then be the boss. Nothing to be shy about. No stereotypes inside that wall.

To survive outside the office, you cannot let society dictate to you. About 6 months after I finished Youth Service in Naija, I had gotten a job and needed to get a ride badly. I was constantly working very late in the office and commercial transportation was getting riskier by the day. Then, I got all sorts of advices from people. Some said I shouldn't get a car at all, some said I should get a very small one - Why? Just because I was a young girl who needed to attract suitors. Hahahhahahahhahahaha of course I didn't listen to all the BS. I not only got a ride but got a driver as well. And life couldn't be sweeter after that. Did I also tell you that suitors started pouring in?

A lady getting a car is not always about society but a function of the societal or economic status
in a few years this will be a thing of the past and be a normal thing
All my siblings had cars immediately they finished school and it never affected their relationship

As a woman, I have since learned that you must not always allow society dictate to you but if you do, then it's your fault. Society does understand half the pressures you are facing. If as a lady you earn so much, you have to let your money work for you. Men are very good at this. You have to outsource a lot of ur traditional roles and do what you know how to do best. "Supervise". Get a nanny, get a cook, get a driver, cultivate personal relationships with ur kids teachers' at school. Build a strong support system for yourself at home, make them happy and you will live happily ever after. Of course, society will call you lazy, millennial woman, all sorts of names but really, what do you care? The ultimate is that you are healthy, happy, relaxed and fulfilled.

@pickabeau - have I addressed any of the points?
I don't know ooo

As per the late marriage and divorce ish, what's the evidence that it's their careers that make women marry late or get divorced? Are women without jobs faring any better?? I think it's just one of those sweeping statements people make so I won't address that.

I agree with you
Delegation can help with the stress


Why do u not want to address the late marriage/divorce angle

She is saying even men who bought into the 50.50 model are leaving their partners of many years after the kids have left the roost to settle with younger, less independent women.

Thoughts?

babygirlfl:
bukatyne, kimoni and enlightenedSoul, your write-ups are refreshing.

Thanks

pickabeau1:

Seems most of the respondents are in sync with the observations but disagree with the conclusion
so the issues exist..yes?

Of course the issues exist.

I agree but the question remains... why do women have to manage the home front.. according to shollypopz
This is the core of the question.. to be or not to be
This is the superwoman question...

Why do I manage the home front? Manage in terms of cooking, cleaning, and the general co-ordination at home? I accept that it's my role and I am happy doing it. I discussed my views about family roles in the Boy's thread, remember? We all have our various roles to play within the family. I dont belong to the school of "anybody can do it". We could help one another out at some point but the resposibility of a particular role lies with a specific person.

A lady getting a car is not always about society but a function of the societal or economic status
in a few years this will be a thing of the past and be a normal thing
All my siblings had cars immediately they finished school and it never affected their relationship

That was just an example to show you how society expects you to conform to some standards as a female, but which are not in her best interest.

I agree with you
Delegation can help with the stress

Why do u not want to address the late marriage/divorce angle

She is saying even men who bought into the 50.50 model are leaving their partners of many years after the kids have left the roost to settle with younger, less independent women.

Thoughts?

I don't agree that the issue is peculiar to career women so it's a non-issue here.

Kimoni:


Of course the issues exist.



Why do I manage the home front? Manage in terms of cooking, cleaning, and the general co-ordination at home? I accept that it's my role and I am happy doing it. I discussed my views about family roles in the Boy's thread, remember? We all have our various roles to play within the family. I dont belong to the school of "anybody can do it". We could help one another out at some point but the resposibility of a particular role lies with a specific person.



That was just an example to show you how society expects you to conform to some standards as a female, but which are not in her best interest.




I don't agree that the issue is peculiar to career women so it's a non-issue here.

the reciprocity of gender roles is the issue here

you don't believe in reciprocity? no...?

on late marriage n midlife divoices
OK..since you don't see it as an issue..no problem then

babygirlfl:
bukatyne, kimoni and enlightenedSoul, your write-ups are refreshing.

Thanks

Kimoni:


Hahahahahhaha

Life become very sweet when you learn how to delegate baa

Extremely

pickabeau1:

Seems most of the respondents are in sync with the observations but disagree with the conclusion
so the issues exist..yes?



I agree but the question remains... why do women have to manage the home front.. according to shollypopz
This is the core of the question.. to be or not to be
This is the superwoman question...


A lady getting a car is not always about society but a function of the societal or economic status
in a few years this will be a thing of the past and be a normal thing
All my siblings had cars immediately they finished school and it never affected their relationship




I agree with you
Delegation can help with the stress


Why do u not want to address the late marriage/divorce angle

She is saying even men who bought into the 50.50 model are leaving their partners of many years after the kids have left the roost to settle with younger, less independent women.

Thoughts?

I am mobile So cannot address individual points in quotes.

How Does feminism increase the stress?

I am assuming that by home front you mean chores basically.
Why should a working wife be the only one to manage the home?

A single lady getting a car issue is very much societal: exceptions to the upper class. I have heard it from several people different cultures all Nigerians

I asked earlier that How many Nigerians do you know wanted to build a career before marriage? Not start working/earning? How many do you know purposely delayed marriage till late 30s because of their career?

50:50 model as in?
Divorce @ older stages of marriage is not necessarily as a result of career building. As the article pointed out, When the children leaves the roost.

If their marriage was rocky, they might wait till all the kids leave before they split. In Nigeria, it is the MIL travelling from one child's house to another or the husband gallivanting with friends about.

I read in Japan, divorce rates spike up @ retirement because the couple now have to be together. I know a couple whose marriage is still standing because they both leave the house early and come back late.

If they Stay 3mths together, they will either divorce/separate or go back to the drawing board.

@Marrying less independent women: on the average, a 55yr old man would have built enough to live comfortably (since they had a career). A 20+ lady who would marry a 55yr old is. oobviously not ready to earn.

Let's look for 55yr Olds who marry less independent 40+ ladies.

And What is your definition of independent.

IMHO: This article doesn't speak to the Nigerian society.

bukatyne:


I am mobile So cannot address individual points in quotes.

How Does feminism increase the stress?

which stress do u refer
Except you refer to the expected increase as a result of managing a career and a family..yes?

I am assuming that by home front you mean chores basically.
Why should a working wife be the only one to manage the home?

What do you propose on the home front?
These women in the article(i assume u read it) had men who helped them
yet the men left them after the kids had left the home

A single lady getting a car issue is very much societal: exceptions to the upper class. I have heard it from several people different cultures all Nigerians

Dont get the point here
I never denied they were issues with females and cars in Naija

I asked earlier that How many Nigerians do you know wanted to build a career before marriage? Not start working/earning? How many do you know purposely delayed marriage till late 30s because of their career?

I know a lot..u mean males or females?
I know females in their 30s who are just marrying.. other are still searching

50:50 model as in?
Divorce @ older stages of marriage is not necessarily as a result of career building. As the article pointed out, When the children leaves the roost.

If their marriage was rocky, they might wait till all the kids leave before they split. In Nigeria, it is the MIL travelling from one child's house to another or the husband gallivanting with friends about.

50/50 means the men are involved in home management.. did u read the article at all

I read in Japan, divorce rates spike up @ retirement because the couple now have to be together. I know a couple whose marriage is still standing because they both leave the house early and come back late.

If they Stay 3mths together, they will either divorce/separate or go back to the drawing board.

ok...when they divorce. what kind of women do the men go for?

@Marrying less independent women: on the average, a 55yr old man would have built enough to live comfortably (since they had a career). A 20+ lady who would marry a 55yr old is. oobviously not ready to earn.

Let's look for 55yr Olds who marry less independent 40+ ladies.

And What is your definition of independent.

IMHO: This article doesn't speak to the Nigerian society.

Why marry an old woman when younger models exist

pickabeau1:

which stress do u refer
Except you refer to the expected increase as a result of managing a career and a family..yes?



What do you propose on the home front?
These women in the article(i assume u read it) had men who helped them
yet the men left them after the kids had left the home


Dont get the point here
I never denied they were issues with females and cars in Naija


I know a lot..u mean males or females?
I know females in their 30s who are just marrying.. other are still searching


50/50 means the men are involved in home management.. did u read the article at all


ok...when they divorce. what kind of women do the men go for?


Why marry an old woman when younger models exist

Yes. You got me

How does feminism increase the stress of building a career + home?

@Home front: each couple find their rhythm.

Is there any evidence to prove that the men left because they were helping in chores or doing 50:50? Does it mean that a man not doing chores makes the marriage last longer? Whatis ccorrelation between doing chores and divorcing When the kids have left?

Are the ladies & guys marrying 35+ doing So because they want to build a career first or they married @35+ because they found someone at that age?

I read it

What Does 50:50 mean? I wash two plates, you wash the remaining two or What?

How do you share chores 50:50?

@Japan, the article did not say. It was focused more on divorce rates after retirement

If men will not marry older women then we cannot judge If they are moving to less independent women or If they are moving to younger women

Shollypopzz:


Feminism is not the reason why these women are stressed or prone to depression. If it were, then it should also be blamed for stay-at-home moms who are more likely to be depressed than working mothers according to research. (Go online, there are articles everywhere concerning great amount of stay at home moms suffering from depression).

Feminism is not putting pressure on anyone. The only thing feminism does, is give you a choice. Because of feminism, a woman that would rather work than stay at home, can now do so, A woman can now get educated in any field of her choice.
The problem is the societal standards and the time most of these women grew up. Most of the women in this article grew up when women advancement was still a little behind from where we are now. They grew up with mothers and fathers who took on stereotypical gender roles and were trained to fit in the roles that society has set out for them.

These women are stressed because they are trying to satisfy themselves and at the same time satisfy society. Today's society still does NOT embrace a stay-at-home dad or a woman that focuses on providing. They want to have amazing careers but also be award winning moms at the same bloody time. This two can NEVER be achieved at once without negatively affecting the woman.
According to one of the women in the article (Shirley Conran), "I’d race home from work, fling my coat on the floor, cook a meal, then play with my darling son until bedtime. And to prove to my boss that I could do everything he feared working mums couldn’t, I’d sometimes still be schedule-planning at 3 am".

Where is her "involved" husband in all this?? Most men also cannot handle excellent careers and home at the same time just like women but the difference is, they are not under any pressure to be physically involved in their child's life. They are fine with "pitching in" and would not stress if they are not "pitching in" enough.


This is how fvcked up patriarchal society is - because women asked for the same rights as men, they are asked to take on both roles. All the women in this article were breadwinners, meaning sole providers. Why the hell were their husbands not putting in more work at home than they were?? Why do they excuse this?? This is what I call mental slavery. Not once, did these women demand more form their husbands, instead they blamed themselves for not being a superhuman.

The pressure to be fantastic at both, comes from women trying to prove a point that they are just as intelligent and resourceful as their male colleagues while trying to please the society.
The thing is, why do we even have to prove that we are just as intelligent and we can be useful in a corporate environment?? Because of years of oppression and being seen as inferior, we dare not allow ourselves to take days off work. And instead of her to blame the patriarchal and oppressive society, she wants to blame feminism.

This is identical to African Americans in the ghetto blaming civil rights activists for their problems. And maintaining that they were better off as slaves because at least, they had a job.

Where exactly did you say grew up?,because in Nigeria where I was born and raised,according to their latest amendment of constitution, kids of 11 yrs are allowed to be taken as wives and women are meant to be in the kitchen while men supercedes.

But that's TOTALLY UNFAIR bro buhari

bukatyne:


Yes. You got me

How does feminism increase the stress of building a career + home?

well... i assumed it was selfevident that managing a home n building a career will have more challenges

@Home front: each couple find their rhythm.

ok

Is there any evidence to prove that the men left because they were helping in chores or doing 50:50? Does it mean that a man not doing chores makes the marriage last longer? Whatis ccorrelation between doing chores and divorcing When the kids have left?

well..the article implied men were leaving for women who made them feel like men after living for years with women who were like men...

Are the ladies & guys marrying 35+ doing So because they want to build a career first or they married @35+ because they found someone at that age?

marrying late because they r building career n no one available yet

I read it

What Does 50:50 mean? I wash two plates, you wash the remaining two or What?

How do you share chores 50:50?

@Japan, the article did not say. It was focused more on divorce rates after retirement

If men will not marry older women then we cannot judge If they are moving to less independent women or If they are moving to younger women

ok... no problem.....

pickabeau1:



Stress... maybe this is why women live longer and now the modern woman is getting a load of the stress men were wont to take on
Do we expect a reduction in the gaps between male and female life expectancies...
Feminism the great leveller

The gap between male and female life expectancies is due in large part to the significantly higher rates of homicide and suicide among men.

babygirlfl:
bukatyne, kimoni and enlightenedSoul, your write-ups are refreshing.

Thanks

bukatyne:


I was like that When I was much younger before I learnt the sweet power of delegation

Now, living a stress free life as much as possible

Nobody takes Superwoman title to heaven

And smart work NOT hard work is rewarded

Yh, I need to work on that big-time. It's a process, isn't it?