kandiikane:


I re-read this and I am confused? Is this getting to know a guy before or after marriage? Because I am wondering how someone will give their phone to a chick/guy they just met just for the sake of knowing who they really are.

Acidosis:


Women are capable of achieving anything they want. So get the phone and see stuffs

kandiikane:


Acidosis, you are not giving me answers. You better go carry that babe go beach or bbq make una yarn and gist so you fit see how she dey react with other humans

Acidosis:

he he, oya let's go

Zi:
OP hasn't talked in the past few hours.
I guess the "confrontation" is taking place now
Brownie, my thoughts and prayers are with you this difficult time.

prissyluv:
brownie10,you mean you dated /courted this man before marriage?
Things are happening oooo.
You are strong though. I cant keep all these to myself since yesterday.
All the best in your decision making.
But why make this videos in the first place? Of a truth,this story is really shocking.

damiso:
I really can't think of anything else to say that that has not already been said BUT;
CONFRONT YOUR HUSBAND
I would go with onegai's method. I don't think I could bottle stuff up the way you have cos I might have had a heart attack or stroke by now.
I have learnt with time to censor how the words will come out but if I don't tell my husband my mind I could fall ill. I tell him if I don't tell you the truth who will?so yeah I am your greatest cheerleader but I will also tell you when I think you are going astray.Thats love in my own opinion
So please for the sake of your sanity and health; CONFRONT HIM

damiso:
I really can't think of anything else to say that that has not already been said BUT;
CONFRONT YOUR HUSBAND
I would go with onegai's method. I don't think I could bottle stuff up the way you have cos I might have had a heart attack or stroke by now.
I have learnt with time to censor how the words will come out but if I don't tell my husband my mind I could fall ill. I tell him if I don't tell you the truth who will?so yeah I am your greatest cheerleader but I will also tell you when I think you are going astray.Thats love in my own opinion
So please for the sake of your sanity and health; CONFRONT HIM

kandiikane:
You sabi me already.

Thank you all.
I really appreciate your prayers and your support. And thank you to everybody who put a word of support or prayer for me.

And to everybody who mailed me, you can still contact me there as I am deactivating this profile. And I have your numbers too so I can call. Im not in the frame of mind to put any further information here for e-people to pat themselves on the back and gloat over.

Like I said, he that is down needs fear no fall. I cannot fall further than I have. It simply cannot be worse than it is. Yes, I know. The STI tests and all. I will do them. If fine, then good. If not, then this is the card Ive been dealt and I have no choice than to live my life as healthily as I can.

I only needed to vent till I take
a step and I have. Mission accomplished. For now.

At most, I resign and I leave Nigeria. Perfect opportunity to chase my other dreams. I start a new life. And he can too.
People have done it and people will still do it. If that is what happens, then fine! I'm OK with it.

It will only be a new phase of life which I will adapt to.

So regardless of what anyone here or anywhere says or does. This does not define me. I did nothing wrong in this case.
And when all has been said or done, I WILL BE FINE!!

bukatyne:
Trust NL male hypocrites to be here

See How lessons on forgiveness and vow keeping are flying left, right centre.

I am trying to remember who coined the phrase... never make a hoe an housewife. Who would be kind enough to remind me?

Is This not a case of don't make a dog a husband

Bloody bloody hypocrites

@OP:

The first step is confronting your husband. Anyhow you like.
Perhaps This talking here helps you better.

Goodluck with whatever decision you make.

Cheers.

Jamean:
Another sad tale

This marriage shii is becoming more real than ever. OMG

MarvellousGod:
Don't pay heed to all these sad tales dear, there are good marriages just that they're unnoticed because people are more concerned about negatives so that they can see what to rant about. Many people are happy when they see you're unhappy, that's why the bad gets talked about more often...

when people say they've good marriages, you see people calling them liars, asking them how sure they are their partners ain't cheating and all sort of negativities. . But when someone says she has a bad marriage, nobody doubts it.. that's how negative the world has become but there are still positive people though. .

Bottomline: Don't let the stories here(some of which are false) guide you, you can have a happy and wonderful marriage dear .. just know what you want right from courtship..

freecocoa:
Why are people saying he cheated before marriage therefore it shouldn't count? 20 days to the wedding means everything's set and they must be traditionally married(which is the main marriage rite) so how can it still be before marriage?

It's amazing how calm I feel. Its amazing that I havent pulled out my hair. That I havent shouted the house down. That I havent broken every single electronic that I can lay my hands on.

Yes, it is amazing. Amazing that I am using the same laptop I just discovered my husband's 2 se.xtapes to type this.

Yes, you heard me right. Here I am. Newly married (less than 2 months). And I just borrowed my husbands laptop and decided to go to the recycle box. I saw what seemed like pictures/videos and decided to restore and see 1 of them.

Actually, I saw one a week ago. It seemed a harmless video but it was turned towards his favourite chair and he was nakkid. I saw it till it ended but nothing out of the ordinary happened. I tried to restore another video but I didnt see where it went. So that was it.

Today, after cleaning the house a little, I decided to browse on my phone but my phone was weak and died soon after. So I removed the sim to use on my browser and God, who has seen my heart made me check the recycle bin again. I dragged a video and clicked on play. Lo and behold, it was my nakkid husband again sitting on his favorite chair. I didnt think much of it, I just dragged the player to the middle. Lo and behold, I suddenly saw a female on top on him.

I was shaken and quickly stopped the player. My head was hot. My hands were shaking. What to do?

I wont regale you with much stories. But I have copied both videos. He still doesnt know I know.

I am very much shocked but calm. I have decided to be cold and calculated. Wish I knew this before he deflowered me exactly two weeks ago. As it is I might be pregnant.

Just so you know, one of the tapes was 2 months before our wedding (after the intro) and the second was exactly 20 days to the wedding. I checked the tape information.

Haaaaaa! And to think my inner mind was seriously warning me that something was wrong before the wedding. I was so scared before the wedding I couldnt even eat for a week to the wedding. I started eating gradually after the wedding.

What to do! What to do!! What to do!!!


Do I pretend I havent seen this tape? Do I scream the house down? Do I claw out his eyes?? Should I confront him and demand we start living pretentious lives till it gets to a respectable time to divorce? Do I leave him? How do I leave when Ive left every thing known just to be with him!!! I dont know anybody here! I dont know anywhere here!!!



OH MY GOD! DO NOT FORSAKE ME!!!


I dont want the front page please.


Please this is very much real. I can swear on the bible, on everything pure and innocent that this is the situation I have found myself today. Oh my God! Haaaaaa! Life!


I believe it is mature people here. Please I need logical advice. He that is down need fear no fall. I cannot fall farther than I have.

N.B-we did mandatory tests before the wedding. HIV negative.

But I will be going to the clinic. Both for preg and STI tests.

I have to know what do do before he comes near me for se.x (i hope I dont gouge out his eyes when he does, so help me God)

keppyy:
You took an oath in church and it says "Till death do us (you and your hubby) part"...

That's an oath before the sacred altar of God and the world...

Whatever you feel like doing, please do but note that divorce is not an option...

kandiikane:


We are but the op is dealing with her husband so until she gets back....I just want to understand it from your perspective.

That's a lie or you have been with small girls. Like I said, if there is a mutual understanding, then you should know where you stand. In all my years, I have never heard a single female complain/angry about going to a man's house and the man didn't try to move to her, unless, there was that understanding that something may happen via previous conversations. Even that, no such conversations of it out of anger, yes, there may be conversations of what did not happen but not because of anger but just the jist that the thing that was expected did not happen. If you have only been having casual conversations, I don't think you should jump the gun if that understanding has not been established.

What I see here is just you making assumptions, because a female comes to your house she's expecting the D. She might, she might not. She might even be expecting it another day. So is it because of the mentality that something may be wrong somewhere or she will go talk about the guy that many turn themselves into criminals overnight by committing ra.pe?

SAMBARRY:
sounds like some of these telemundos I've watched like passions, gardener's daughter, secret of the sand Maria de los Angeles etc all this nl fiction writers sef don't they know the way to wale adenugas office in Oshodi to drop their scripts for the next super story edition

kandiikane:
Nairalanders be like "Keep calm, confront him calmly, serve him food, clean the house, do your duties, be calm, don't do anything stupìd, he only did it before you were married so doesn't count,"


Madam op, see ehn, your guy not only cheated but recorded himself fucking so he can wa.nk over it when he is on his own. Was he even using a condom? This man has no respect for you whatsoever, you were there thinking about sharing your life with just one man whilst he was there sharing his preek with another woman and you sit here dey pretend calmness. Destroy all his shyt, pack your stuff, leave and send him the video or better yet, just go without a word, it will haunt him for the rest of his life. Within a short period of time and he is already Porn star? Not worth it tbh. Anyway your choice, just know that with that man, your heartache has only just started.

kandiikane:


I believe I implied the bolded in a previous post.

If not and by rapport, you mean some form of sexual tension that needs to be released once they see each other at his place?

This means any woman who has not established such rapport is asking to be ra.ped?

Or, should not trust any man who asks for a visit to his home?

If this is what you mean, speaking objectively, do you feel it is ok, to make men seems like they cannot be amicable with the opposite sex without sexual frustration?

standd:
Hmmmmnnnn...Op is gone. I hope she finds peace and happiness wherever she is...

And I can smell the Hypocrites from afar on this thread...The 'Red Underwear' and 'Pray and Endure' crew

Lagusta:

And the BIG WHITE PANT crew....

standd:


What group do you belong to, DR. Lagusta?

demelza:
God punish you!

kart042000:


You are obviously ignorant what marriage is all about, you think it is a relationship you break up and pick another.
A wise woman builds her home while a foolish one brings it down.

seedord247:
^ Kandikane is a lesby

blublahd:

I know you did, I was just reiterateing it



Once you notice that tension or a little bit of hint, it will be advised to avoid visiting his house to avoid stories that touch since you haven't estabkished such rapport. I cannot speak of the degree of bestiality in men but I assure you its present.

Would you trust any man asking you to visit his home?


Some men are more beast than men while others are more men than beast.
My mum would say, not every one you see dressed up and looking decent and speaks good is normal. Some people's psyche have been seriously bleeped up.
In sum, women should strive to cease being in situations where they turn victims or vulnerable.
Its a vicious world to all of us, even Jesus wasn't spared.

kandiikane:


Shhh, why na? Is it because I used my strapon on you?