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Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? - Romance - Nairaland

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Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by dmcdad: 4:33pm On Aug 24, 2015
Lets talk domestic abuse... Physical abuse from the man, or verbal abuse from the woman. Who is more guilty? And why? Please, discuss the above with respect to relationships and/or marriages.


I attended a relationship programme a fortnight ago, and this was one of the issues raised. Mind you, it wasn't a programme for kids, but adults made up of mainly married couples. Surprisingly, the women who gave their views, said verbal abuse is worse.

It is sad how many people (women in this case) get away with verbal abuse, yet cry foul when abused physically. Now before someone would crucify me, let me put this in a little more perspective. I am not an advocate for abuse (physically or verbal) and I will never be. I am only creating a platform, whereby we take into account some of our actions, which probably might have been given less or no attention before now.

In today's contemporary world, physical abuse (especially from men to women) is regarded as felony, while verbal abuse is rather commonplace. Maybe there is need for me to unravel some of the dangers each face. Of course physical abuse is life-threatening, brings about low self-esteem, plants fear to the mind of the victim, et al. Verbal abuse on the other hand kills your confidence and your will, crushes your spirit (inner you), brings about total frustration, et-cetera. A lot of men are frustrated in their marriages today, not because their wives abuse them physically, but from verbal abuse. If you ask me, barring any extreme measure a man takes in physically abusing a woman, verbal abuse kills faster because it makes you lifeless before it eventually kills you.

Please I would urge everyone or anyone reading this piece to reflect on it before commenting. I am not in any way trying to start a gender war. I just wanna create this awareness and also expose the other side of the coin which has been given little or no attention.

Lets try as much as possible to be objective with our views.

Remember! Your comments should be with respect to relationships and/or marriages.

2 Likes

Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by chijoy7(f): 4:36pm On Aug 24, 2015
cheesy
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by Nobody: 4:44pm On Aug 24, 2015
This is the kind of thread that leads to male - female clash on nairaland.
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by shizzy7(f): 4:44pm On Aug 24, 2015
grin well, I just witnessed a physical abuse on a woman by a man BUT the woman was at fault she was simply annoying that every one praised the guy for beating her......

Though the fight was cut short too early for me to watch..cool cheesy

Conclusion :: Some women are actually troublemakers/finders BUT some Men are aggressive No chill at all,, not gentle

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Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by Captainswag225(m): 6:09pm On Aug 24, 2015
o.p, both are guilty.... Some women can verbally abuse men to the extent that the man myt even think of committing suicide...... Some men retaliate to show authority but at the end of the day all are bad..... Its better to walk out on the woman when she is verbally abusing u rather than beating her.

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Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by dmcdad: 8:40pm On Aug 24, 2015
Captainswag225:
o.p, both are guilty.... Some women can verbally abuse men to the extent that the man myt even think of committing suicide...... Some men retaliate to show authority but at the end of the day all are bad..... Its better to walk out on the woman when she is verbally abusing u rather than beating her.
You are right. But the issue here is that, there is need to raise an awareness for women to refrain from such. The same kinda awareness that is being raised as against physical abuse, should be raised against verbal abuse.

Physical abuse, though evil and shouldn't be condone, deals with the physical body. And aside extreme injuries, might not lead to more disaster so-to-say. But as for verbal abuse, as silent as it is, would IMO lead to disaster quicker than its counterpart. I have never heard of someone committing suicide because he took a beaten. But I have heard a couple of stories how some people did commit suicide because of frustrations they got from friends and loved ones who verbally abused them

Bottom line is that, I am not vouching for any per se. I am only trying to highlight the danger verbal abuse causes which has been rather neglected.
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by dmcdad: 8:43pm On Aug 24, 2015
firstEVA:
This is the kind of thread that leads to male - female clash on nairaland.
My dear, it's only a pillock that would clash over this. This is a very sensitive issue that should be looked at from all fronts.

It's about sharing ideas and creating awareness. Lots of people are facing issues like this, and they are dying slowly from it.
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by Captainswag225(m): 8:45pm On Aug 24, 2015
dmcdad:

You are right. But the issue here is that, there is need to raise an awareness for women to refrain from such. The same kinda awareness that is being raised as against physical abuse, should be raised against verbal abuse.

Physical abuse, though evil and shouldn't be condone, deals with the physical body. And aside extreme injuries, might not lead to more disaster so-to-say. But as for verbal abuse, as silent as it is, would IMO lead to disaster quicker than its counterpart. I have never heard of someone committing suicide because he took a beaten. But I have heard a couple of stories how some people did commit suicide because of frustrations they got from friends and loved ones who verbally abused them

Bottom line is that, I am not vouching for any per se. I am only trying to highlight the danger verbal abuse causes which has been rather neglected.
i agree with u,., we need to raise awareness abt verbal abuse from women but i think the best thing to do is urge those women to seek advice from counsellors.
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by dmcdad: 8:45pm On Aug 24, 2015
shizzy7:
grin well, I just witnessed a physical abuse on a woman by a man BUT the woman was at fault she was simply annoying that every one praised the guy for beating her......

Though the fight was cut short too early for me to watch..cool cheesy

Conclusion :: Some women are actually troublemakers/finders BUT some Men are aggressive No chill at all,, not gentle
I hope you ain't that kinda woman. Me no get power oooo.cheesycheesycheesy
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by Stellaenefa(f): 8:47pm On Aug 24, 2015
Physical abuse from the man is more guilty. I always tell people not to be physical instead use your mouth(voice) to fight for your right.
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by dmcdad: 8:49pm On Aug 24, 2015
Captainswag225:
i agree with u,., we need to raise awareness abt verbal abuse from women but i think the best thing to do is urge those women to seek advice from counsellors.
Great! I love that idea. But there is a problem. Nigerians seldom make use of such avenues to ameliorate things.

Like someone said... Everyone needs a counselor. Even the Bible attributed to this fact.
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by dmcdad: 8:50pm On Aug 24, 2015
Stellaenefa:
Physical abuse from the man is more guilty. I always tell people not to be physical instead use your mouth(voice) to fight for your right.
Physical abuse is bad. There is no way to paint it otherwise. But you know your tongue kills faster than a sword right?

Plus, I made special reference to relationships and marriages. So, a wife can use her voice(words) against her husband?

Remember not all men that are verbally abuse are physically abusive.
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by Captainswag225(m): 8:52pm On Aug 24, 2015
dmcdad:

Great! I love that idea. But there is a problem. Nigerians seldom make use of such avenues to ameliorate things.

Like someone said... Everyone needs a counselor. Even the Bible attributed to this fact.
then i guess we need to urge men of GOD to focus their attention of verbal abuse, also great female celebrities whom ladies listen to could be made advocates for the programme.
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by shizzy7(f): 8:53pm On Aug 24, 2015
dmcdad:

I hope you ain't that kinda woman. Me no get power oooo.cheesycheesycheesy

I didn't have any Vocabs today,, sorry my head was so not ready for vocabs... But its going to be a bumpy ride tomorrow...fasten your seatbelt.,,,




.OH, VERY troublesome...
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by dmcdad: 8:58pm On Aug 24, 2015
Captainswag225:
then i guess we need to urge men of GOD to focus their attention of verbal abuse, also great female celebrities whom ladies listen to could be made advocates for the programme.
True. Maybe some of the time some spend in clamouring for feminism can be spent educating or reorienting people. As for Men of God, they can create programmes and platforms for such orientation. Little wonder the Bible made mention of a nagging wife... Hmmm
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by shizzy7(f): 8:59pm On Aug 24, 2015
Captainswag225:
i agree with u,., we need to raise awareness abt verbal abuse from women but i think the best thing to do is urge those women to seek advice from counsellors.
cool cool cheesy cheesy. Raise awareness For Verbal Abuse ahahahahahahahan that's so funny..

*I bet you don't know its like a way of life for Some Women,,
*They can't help it,,
*its in the Hormones,
*They say it and even regret afterwards
*The most you'll get is a sorry

I have a friend anytime she doesn't insult me I'll think she's sick...
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by Captainswag225(m): 9:00pm On Aug 24, 2015
dmcdad:

True. Maybe some of the time some spend in clamouring for feminism can be spent educating or reorienting people. As for Men of God, they can create programmes and platforms for such orientation. Little wonder the Bible made mention of a nagging wife... Hmmm
lmao@nagging wife. If we talk abt feminism, we wont end today oo.
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by dmcdad: 9:02pm On Aug 24, 2015
shizzy7:

I didn't have any Vocabs today,, sorry my head was so not ready for vocabs... But its going to be a bumpy ride tomorrow...fasten your seatbelt.,,,




.OH, VERY troublesome...
cheesycheesycheesy You very troublesome? Chai, I don suffer.grin

When I didn't get any from you I just thought maybe you needed a break. Bumpy ride tomorrow? You wanna unleash your Arsenal on me? I'm ever capable to weather the storm.cheesy

How are you this evening?
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by Captainswag225(m): 9:03pm On Aug 24, 2015
shizzy7:
cool cool cheesy cheesy. Raise awareness For Verbal Abuse ahahahahahahahan that's so funny..

*I bet you don't know its like a way of life for Some Women,,
*They can't help it,,
*its in the Hormones,
*They say it and even regret afterwards
*The most you'll get is a sorry

I have a friend anytime she doesn't insult me I'll think she's sick...
hahahahahaha, so what if we say beating women too is in our genes? The thing is if we can encourage men to stop beating women then we can encourage women to stop verbal abuse. Some men wont care but others do alot and it affect them even to the point of committing suicide.
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by Nobody: 9:03pm On Aug 24, 2015
Guys Truth no talk say make we no talk am and the Truth be say if we are to go by the annoying behaviours in form of verbal insults from Ladies we might end up sending every Lady on earth to mortuary. But the thing be say beating your Lady or replying her verbal insult is not the answer or solution to the problem on. ground. You must try to master yourself I mean master anger and perhaps get rid of your feelings and emotions.Ladies are weak than we are and most of their verbal expression which seems to men as insults are projected from emotional frustration and depression Stop frustrating your Lady and there will be no insult.Cos if she is your Lady there is no replacement for her.
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by dmcdad: 9:05pm On Aug 24, 2015
shizzy7:
cool cool cheesy cheesy. Raise awareness For Verbal Abuse ahahahahahahahan that's so funny..

*I bet you don't know its like a way of life for Some Women,,
*They can't help it,,
*its in the Hormones,
*They say it and even regret afterwards
*The most you'll get is a sorry

I have a friend anytime she doesn't insult me I'll think she's sick...
You see! That's the problem. They need to know it shouldn't be a culture. Just like awareness is being raised so that men would refrain from physical abuse, same should be done with verbal abuse.

To some men, abusing a woman physically is as normal as the emboldened. But should it be so? Nah nah nah.
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by dmcdad: 9:06pm On Aug 24, 2015
Captainswag225:
lmao@nagging wife. If we talk abt feminism, we wont end today oo.
I no wan go that side sef. Plus, I no get anything against feminism ooooo. I like am even. But, a lot dey take am wrongly.
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by Captainswag225(m): 9:09pm On Aug 24, 2015
dmcdad:

I no wan go that side sef. Plus, I no get anything against feminism ooooo. I like am even. But, a lot dey take am wrongly.
sometimes they are too aggressive and its mostly hard for them to admit when the female does wrong but apart from that feminism is cool.
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by chigoizie7(m): 9:13pm On Aug 24, 2015
Not again!!!!, I hate this kinda threads, and on a monday , no time to comment
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by shizzy7(f): 9:14pm On Aug 24, 2015
dmcdad:

cheesycheesycheesy You very troublesome? Chai, I don suffer.grin

When I didn't get any from you I just thought maybe you needed a break. Bumpy ride tomorrow? You wanna unleash your Arsenal on me? I'm ever capable to weather the storm.cheesy

How are you this evening?
No u Neva suffer, am actually cool BUT when you look for my trouble
I promise to repay you bountifully in Tripple fold,,

I actually said Arsenal is the best in the world because my cousin says so and I believe him...I don't know anything about those FB clubs....
Well, my evening remains the kind am used to.. Fine..
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by dmcdad: 9:16pm On Aug 24, 2015
starlingslimnet:
Guys Truth no talk say make we no talk am and the Truth be say if we are to go by the annoying behaviours in form of verbal insults from Ladies we might end up sending every Lady on earth to mortuary. But the thing be say beating your Lady or replying her verbal insult is not the answer or solution to the problem on. ground. You must try to master yourself I mean master anger and perhaps get rid of your feelings and emotions.Ladies are weak than we are and most of their verbal expression which seems to men as insults are projected from emotional frustration and depression Stop frustrating your Lady and there will be no insult.Cos if she is your Lady there is no replacement for her.
Well said. But you know sometimes it's not just about provoking them.

If you say men should stop provoking them for there not to be insults, it means they have the license to verbally abuse when provoked. Should men too be given the license to physically abuse them when provoked? No of course.

Bottom line is that, both sex should know how to hold themselves together. No physical abuse, and no verbal abuse. We can argue all that about which comes first. Some will tell you they physically abused the other because they were verbally abused. And others will say they verbally abused the other cause they were physically abused. You see? It turns out to be the egg and hen.cheesycheesy
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by dmcdad: 9:17pm On Aug 24, 2015
Captainswag225:
sometimes they are too aggressive and its mostly hard for them to admit when the female does wrong but apart from that feminism is cool.
True.
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by dmcdad: 9:18pm On Aug 24, 2015
chigoizie7:
Not again!!!!, I hate this kinda threads, and on a monday , no time to comment
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by DatBossAssChick(f): 9:19pm On Aug 24, 2015
None is justifiable. Any form of abuse is bad.
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by dmcdad: 9:20pm On Aug 24, 2015
shizzy7:
No u Neva suffer, am actually cool BUT when you look for my trouble
I promise to repay you bountifully in Tripple fold,,

I actually said Arsenal is the best in the world because my cousin says so and I believe him...I don't know anything about those FB clubs....
Well, my evening remains the kind am used to.. Fine..
Guess your cousin doesn't know shiit about football.cheesycheesycheesy You shouldn't believe everything he tells you, you know...wink
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by Mznaett: 9:20pm On Aug 24, 2015
In as much as am not in support of any of the above I think Verbal abuse is the worst..Women! just our mouth alone can make a man commit suicidesad
Re: Physical Abuse From The Man, Or Verbal Abuse From The Woman. Who Is More Guilty? by dmcdad: 9:21pm On Aug 24, 2015
DatBossAssChick:
Non is justifiable. Any form of abuse is bad.
God bless you. I love your objectiveness.

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