cococandy:
They no dey see this part of the bible.

That's was my point to the chatters I was "debating".

cococandy:


Hehehe

These nairlanders won't kill person.
So he drives a Camry that makes him above doing dishes. Be baffling yourself there o.

Will you have a heart attack if your friend drives a BMW 7-Series and you meet him cooking in his house while his wife is watching television?

Na ER straight abi?

una just dey form one thing one thing.
na when your husband come back home, you give am food, he come say him don eat, na im una eyes go clear.
anyways that is for the gentle men.

now for a real naija man, check this.

At the 1997 World Women's
Conference, the first speaker - Mrs
Harry, from England, stood up:
"At last year's conference, we spoke
about being more assertive with our
husbands. Well, after the conference I
went home and told my husband that I
would no longer cook for him and that
he would have to do it himself.
After the first day I saw nothing. After
the second day I saw
nothing. But after the third day I saw
that he had cooked a wonderful roast
lamb."

The crowd cheered.

The second speaker - Mrs Clemson,
from America, stood up:
"After last year's conference I went
home and told my husband that I would
no longer do his laundry and that he
would have to do it himself.
After the first day I saw nothing. After
the second day I saw nothing. But after
the third day I saw that he had done
not only his own washing but my washing
as well."

The crowd cheered.

The third speaker - Mrs Akpors, from
Nigeria, stood up:
"After last year conference I go house
com tell my husband say I no go do im
cooking, cleaning or go market for am
again, and say make hin go dey do am
by imsef.
After the first day I no see anytin. The
second day sef, I see notin. But after
the third day, as the swelling begin go
down, I start to see small small from my
left eye."

Stillfire:
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Please go and learn how to love your wives the christian way
Save yourself from hell fire.
Because many women are willing to look away and condone your excesses does not mean you have the right to act like a self-serving brute.

This right here puts an end to the argument. You're the man ba? Ok. You're the head/leader, yes? Agreed. If you cannot lead by LOVING your wife this way, you have no right whatsoever to demand submission from her. You lead by loving the Christian way, we follow by submitting the Christian way. Anything different, OYO is your case.

It is beyond hypocritical to claim 'head' only when it suits you. Love first, we submit thereafter. That's the natural order.

It's beyond hypocritical to demand submission citing the bible as reference when you don't love your wife as the bible commands.

You remember the bible when it concerns your wife but you break God's word on a daily basis. These are the same guys who'd come out in their numbers to justify adultery. When it comes to submission, ah! Women dare not submit.

But then, majority of naija men are hypocrites.

Stillfire:
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Please go and learn how to love your wives the christian way
Save yourself from hell fire.
Because many women are willing to look away and condone your excesses does not mean you have the right to act like a self-serving brute.

Stilly, Stilly, Stilly, you are quite vehement on this thread. So incensed you've thrown around terms like demonic and hellfire . And quoting scripture like a fire and brimstone preacher as well !

Was it not you that refused to accept the biblical writ of wives submitting to their husbands? This sounds like confusion You are adamant that husbands should practice biblical love - which no one has actually disputed - but utterly reject wives submitting as biblically prescribed.

I'm not actually sure that you even believe or practice. What gives?

cococandy:
I must say the more I go through nairaland, the more I appreciate what I have.

This is pleasant enough sounding, but somewhat opaque. Please share more on this thing "you have" it may school or enlighten some of the men here .

You haven't enunciated any particulars or tied it to any specific ideology or faith profession? All I recall is your marrying someone you could look up to and respect? Is he the head of your household? Does your husband lead his family?


TV

There are no one size fits all in marriages
We don't have all the facts to make an intelligence judgement

TV01:

Stilly, Stilly, Stilly, you are quite vehement on this thread. So incensed you've thrown around terms like demonic and hellfire . And quoting scripture like a fire and brimstone preacher as well !

Was it not you that refused to accept the biblical writ of wives submitting to their husbands? This sounds like confusion You are adamant that husbands should practice biblical love - which no one has actually disputed - but utterly reject wives submitting as biblically prescribed.

I'm not actually sure that you even believe or practice. What gives?

TV

...I am a born again christian who have come to understand with love not any submission principle, speaking in tongues, rolling on the ground, singing in the choir, I have covered everything I need to be a good christian daughter, mother and WIFE.
Submission under an hypocritical, self-seeking, ego-tripping African man household who cannot love his wife like Jesus is 2 seconds from abuse. I ghast to protect myself.

Stillfire:


...I am a born again christian who have come to understand with love not any submission principle, speaking in tongues, rolling on the ground, singing in the choir I have covered everything I need to be a good christian daughter, mother and WIFE.
Submission under an hypocritical, self-seeking, ego-tripping African man household who cannot love his wife like Jesus is 2 seconds from abuse. I ghast to protect myself.

Lady you have a big problem---- "ego-tripping African man household who cannot love his wife like Jesus is 2 seconds from abuse"

You sound very ignorant

Lady you need to listen to some conservative men speak-- Americans, Canadian or English man

I will use "ego-tripping men household who cannot love his wife like Jesus is 2 seconds from abuse"

GoodFaith:


Lady you have a big problem---- "ego-tripping African man household who cannot love his wife like Jesus is 2 seconds from abuse"

You sound very ignorant

Lady you need to listen to some conservative men speak-- Americans, Canadian or English man

I will use "ego-tripping men household who cannot love his wife like Jesus is 2 seconds from abuse"

The next time you quote me again I will tear you apart.
This is the second time you have used that word, I ignored you.
The so called Western 'conservative' men you highlighted have used their masculinity to create a feasible society for their children.
What have you used your masculinity to do other than cry over and wet your diapers over food.
Get out of here!

Wow.... So this thread is going forward? Serving food brought all this Oo. Why is religion being dragged into this
As for me, I serve my hubby and feed him too if necessary. He does thesame if he sees I'm not in the mood. Marriage is about exchange. #Equalrights!!!! . In this case she should have spoken to him later in the evening abt the morning Issh... He should be stupid if he doesn't realize that the way he spoke to his wife (queen) is wrong especially when he knows that she always serves her (king) . She was busy. He should have held her from behind, tickled her and brought her to the dinning stylishly and then all this wouldn't be happening. She must serve him if they eat at thesame table. Abi na lie
Guys please answer me ooo... Will it kill him to be friendly about what he wants? Must he say "I'm not eating cause the service ain't complete!" That's a very very insultive sentence. That belittles his wife. That shows they are tolerating eachother! She musnt do things for her husband out of fear of ekaete now... If he wants to cheat, he will. They should do their shii with love. U don't have to fight over this bullshii!!! This isn't even supposed to be a marital issue! People have bigger ones

Stillfire:


The next time you quote me again I will tear you apart.
This is the second time you have used that word, I ignored you.
The so called Western 'conservative' men you highlighted have used their masculinity to create a feasible society for their children.
What have you used your masculinity to do other than cry over and wet your diapers over food.
Get out of here!

Kid you will tear me apart-- sad we are all online
Are a dump bitch
thinking you know it all
Fucker you don't have any life experiences
If you was a smart bitch you will know all marriages are different in terms of needs
People like you, whom can't have balance view is the reason Nigeria is behind in technology
One way traffic
Kid go play

GoodFaith:

Kid you will tear me apart-- sad we all online
Are a dump bitch
think you know all
Fucker you don't have any life experiences
If you was a smart bitch you will know all marriages are different in terms of needs
Kid go play

Take your immature needs and shove it in your ass. Don't contaminate cyber space with your puerility.
On a last note, all the female members in your family are bitches. Oya die!

Stillfire:
If you want to have balance view of this issue
you need some facts
What time the man wake up
What time he make it back to the house at the end of the day
Is the wife a full time house wife eg

The he-goat must have been itching all along to take a dig. Good I have your time today, tehehe

Stillfire:


Take your immature needs and shove it in your ass. Don't contaminate cyber space with your puerility.
On a last note, all the female members in your family are bitches. Oya die!

dumb ass dog b
stop your fucking mouth
Acting like a fool with nonsense
You acting like a real B
You need a ass whipping fool

Stillfire:
The he-goat must have been itching all along to take a dig. Good I have your time today, tehehe

she-goat or dog?
What are u b?

GoodFaith:
Stillfire:
If you want to have balance view of this issue
you need some facts
What time the man wake up
What time he make it back to the house at the end of the day
Is the wife a full time house wife eg

This is forum where I air my opinions.
Nairaland will not be nairaland if we have to play detective to determine the life history of anonymous people.
The point is a man who throws a tantrum over a meal not dished is an id.iot.
Any African man that does this, oh lord is a self seeking, ego tripping id.iot!

Stillfire:


This is forum where I air my opinions.
Nairaland will not be nairaland if we have to play detective to determine the life history of anonymous people.
The point is a man who throws a tantrum over a meal not dished is an id.iot.
Any African man that does this, oh lord is a self seeking, ego tripping id.iot!

Agreed with some of your view
what is wrong with a man dishing food for wife?
There is a saying that both hand need to help wash each other for it to be clean
In people life sometime people just want to tell you what you want to hear
One side story

GoodFaith:

Kid you will tear me apart-- sad we are all online
Are a dump bitch
thinking you know it all
Fucker you don't have any life experiences
If you was a smart bitch you will know all marriages are different in terms of needs
People like you, whom can't have balance view is the reason Nigeria is behind in technology
One way traffic
Kid go play

This guy wan form ghetto nigga. Shame! Wtf is 'if you was'?

GoodFaith:
Stillfire:
If you want to have balance view of this issue
you need some facts
What time the man wake up
What time he make it back to the house at the end of the day
Is the wife a full time house wife eg

Even if the woman is a full time housewife, she probably wakes earlier than the man to tidy up the house, get the kids ready for school and make breakfast. The man does nada when he wakes up.
You think a housewife is idle throughout the day? Educate yourself abeg.

You're the ones who'll ask your wives to sit at home. You're still the ones who'll throw rubbish at her cos she sits at home. Wetin sef?

dinachi:

A woman who loves and cherishes her husband will see nothing stressful or wrong in serving him the way he wants to be served!
This is definitely not an issue worth discussing. Only a woman who has no regard for the husband will make issues out of it.
Do you know that most men find absolute joy in eating their wifes meal? Why did our parents teach us that the best way to a mans heart is through his stomach?
Only a foolish woman argues about what gives her husband joy instead of doing it!

pls get me right pllllsss I never disagree on serving my husband, of course its every womans joy, all am saying is the man shuld not make it look as if its a do or die affair, plus did u read the post properly at all? d man shuldnt make it such a big deal if he is not served just once in a while, dats absolute arrogance and immaturity.

Joy1706:

This guy wan form ghetto nigga. Shame! Wtf is 'if you was'?

do you know what is a ghetto?
28 year ago i didn't live in a ghetto
Today, I have being bless by the lord
The issue at hand go across all level of race ,income and education
It is not a ghetto issue but human issue
human have need and our need are all different
Think

Joy1706:

Even if the woman is a full time housewife, she probably wakes earlier than the man to tidy up the house, get the kids ready for school and make breakfast. The man does nada when he wakes up.
You think a housewife is idle throughout the day? Educate yourself abeg.

You're the ones who'll ask your wives to sit at home. You're still the ones who'll throw rubbish at her cos she sits at home. Wetin sef?

Do you know if this man wake up at 330am on call
and work till 530am
Get ready to go to work for 700am
like some bankers leave home at 700am and get back at 1000pm

GoodFaith:

Do you know if this man wake up at 330am on call
and work till 530am
Get ready to go to work for 700am
like some bankers leave home at 700am and get back at 1000pm

Does that necessarily mean that he must use foul words when speaking to a woman (his own wife)?? What kinda dumb Bleep says(I'm not eating cause my service ain't complete) !!!!
I've been nice since. I don vex. He was wrong for saying that to his wife. Guys, accept it. But r it's no big deal for her to dish the food out. Girls, accept that... She's his queen . Not his waiter or servant. It was a wrong and childish statement. Even if he's a doctor or a banker or a professor. He should be educated enough to know how to go about things. The marriage lacks mutual understanding and the woman clearly has low self esteem , so does the man. He thinks bullying her would make him feel better about himself. Shame on that man. And shame to the woman for not eating with him. Why should she starve and do chores while he eats?

Ngokafor:







.....You are simply utterly shameless fighting over this very silly topic for the past 24 hrs dude..Your drivel is littered all over this thread already
.....You are nuts like the agbaya man in question who is bickering and fighting over whether or not to dish food served and sitting right in front of him..

..You can divorce your wife since your hands are crippled and cannot dish your food served already and sitting right in front of you...

..Childish and immature things.

so you have been following my posts?

why not leave the thread and stop making incesssant comments.

at the end, noisemakers like you will be the ones. praying for divine intervention, or give in to alternative lifestyles.

I HAVE SAID IT FROM THE BEGINNING THAT THE TOPIC WAS LIKE MAKING A BIG DEAL ALARM OUT OF NOTHING.

you lots should take correction. simple.

TV01:


Why does it pain you ?

- Head of my household - tick
- Final arbiter possessing veto power in family decisions - tick

- My wife is not inferior
- She has freewill/agency
- She is a loving & submissive wife

I am pained because of the above?

I laugh in Chinese. I thought you even wanted to say something that affects me sef.

TV01:

I wield authority in my home as and when I see fit - and my wife graciously submits. If I ask my wife to serve me end-to-end at every meal, I don't need to repeat that instruction every time I sit down to eat - geddit now!!

Good for you, even though we know you wouldn't wait for her to serve you to eat what is already in front of you when she is not there

TV01:

A submissive wife does not need to be hounded - she learns her husbands desires and preferences and consciously or unconsciously makes the requisite adjustments.

Very true

TV01:

That there is no head in your home and you have "equal rights", fine - carry go - nobody is forcing you to live the "Christian model" .

Stop saying nonsense, I have told you that thread is not locked. I cannot keep repeating myself .

You don't have equal 'rights' with your wife... you have 'equal agency'; good for you.
How hard is it to understand that some spouses have equal 'rights'?

I opened a thread on love and submission last year and yet I don't believe in headship? Liar liar pants on fire

TV01:

As for your sly insinuation that I "edited" my posts and lied, in over 10 years on NL nobody has ever charged me with those or any of the other similar type offences. You are desperate. I never edit for more than quotation, grammar or punctuation.

The fact that nobody has never accused you doesn't mean you have not done it. It might mean they do not have your time. Desperate for what brother?

TV01:

Why are you pained that my wife allows me to be a man in my own home? Or someone so enlightened and privileged eschews feminism

Please stop sounding ridiculous now. I might as well be pained that February 29 comes once in 4 years

TV01:
And in truth, you can't know if I command or not

You are very right... we can't know considering the fact you have the ability to conjure theories different from what you claim to practice. If command is ... Mama I think... then I also command my parents and my superiors at work. Abi the authority you claim not to use? Where is the authority currently hanging or where did you pack it till the next use?

TV01:

but we all know your husband doesn't don't we? - you proudly told us !

No, he doesn't. Why would he? He has a loving wife whose goal is to make her loving husband happy daily.

Ask your female fans here how many of them have 'commanding' husbands Hehehehehehehehehe. Tag me in the polls

TV01:

Keep on opening masturbatory threads so you can discuss biblical submission with non-believers, atheists and blasphemers - Evangelist Fevangelist Bukatyne

TV

Masturbatory? You use them to masturbate?

And the 'non-believers' and co. might actually make better partners than your 'Christians'

If you need a refresher course on my posts, please go back to that thread. Attributing things I did not say is very unbecoming of you.

Joy1706:

That verse was not in reference to intimacy. It means you are answerable to your wife and vice versa. Your wife submitting to you does not stop her from despising you

wrong again. answerable to her in what context? see, your husband is your head. you should reverence him. I will tell you the truth whether you accept it or otherwise.

anyway, its your marriage isn't it? suit yourself.

SonOfEl:


wrong again. answerable to her in what context? see, your husband is your head. you should reverence him. I will tell you the truth whether you accept it or otherwise.

anyway, its your marriage isn't it? suit yourself.

Are you married to yourself? You're answerable to your wife abeg. In the same context in which your wife is answerable to you. Doesn't mean you're not the 'head' *ucandancenow* . And pls enough of the reverence ish. Reverence is reserved for God.

MrsChima:

And you are one of those "married" people.

I am against child marriages for obvious reasons!

same here. i have done my best online to correct you "Mrs" chima. child marriage breeds strife and VVF.

IMO.

zeeblamj:

Does that necessarily mean that he must use foul words when speaking to a woman (his own wife)?? What kinda dumb Bleep says(I'm not eating cause my service ain't complete) !!!!
I've been nice since. I don vex. He was wrong for saying that to his wife. Guys, accept it. But r it's no big deal for her to dish the food out. Girls, accept that... She's his queen . Not his waiter or servant. It was a wrong and childish statement. Even if he's a doctor or a banker or a professor. He should be educated enough to know how to go about things. The marriage lacks mutual understanding and the woman clearly has low self esteem , so does the man. He thinks bullying her would make him feel better about himself. Shame on that man. And shame to the woman for not eating with him. Why should she starve and do chores while he eats?

Agreed with your comment
If you read one of my comment above I state both hand need to wash each other for it to be clean
In relationship lot of time there are no winner or loser
It is having a team mate you can ride with come good or bad
Some time events in our life or work make us not to see the best in each other
Life is give and take
No winner in unhappy home

GoodFaith:

Do you know if this man wake up at 330am on call
and work till 530am
Get ready to go to work for 700am
like some bankers leave home at 700am and get back at 1000pm

Do u know if the man is a civil servant. Wakes up at 7.30 and saunters into work around 9 am. Perhaps closes at 4pm?

Joy1706:

Are you married to yourself? You're answerable to your wife abeg. In the same context in which your wife is answerable to you. Doesn't mean you're not the 'head' *ucandancenow* . And pls enough of the reverence ish. Reverence is reserved for God.

now you keep contradicting yourself. HEAD NA HEAD, if you like, accept it or reject it. I leave you to crucify your husband. congratulations. IMO.

Joy1706:

Do u know if the man is a civil servant. Wakes up at 7.30 and saunters into work around 9 am. Perhaps closes at 4pm?

Ok, stop playing-- u are coming too close
I know lot of civil servant that work 10 hours a day
Do u know me?