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Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship - Family - Nairaland

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My Relationship Advice To The Young Women / I Need Your Candid Help! / Pls I Need Your Candid Advice And Urgently. (2) (3) (4)

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Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by barbiegirl4luv(f): 10:56am On Sep 10, 2015
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Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by RobinHez(m): 11:00am On Sep 10, 2015
Hmmm...


First of all (go down low!) E be like say dem use cry swear 4 dat ya friend o haba?! angry

Anyways...I'd want u to do something!
Think back to the first time u both met and try to figure out the reason he became attracted to u...was it ur dress, stature, intelligence, money, loving attitude..etc...try finding out. Even if it means asking him...


8 Likes

Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by NOBODYY: 11:01am On Sep 10, 2015
Some nairalanders think we don't have sense for real

He's crying...A guy..hin dey craze

This ur fiction no try...next time add more spice

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by agarawu23(m): 11:02am On Sep 10, 2015
I Think you have two things to consider before making up your mind.

1. Do you really love that guy or you just wanna use him as your escape route since you think he loves you and he is ready to settle down ? I don't want you to feel sorry for him because marriage is a future decision. I personally don't think you like this guy because if you do, I blv you would have break up with your bf then and be with him. ( love is like that)

2. 2012-2015, how are you sure he hasn't move on since then ? I want you to know that the feelings he had for you then when you guys were together isnt the same again cos things aren't the same. I won't advice you to force yourself on him simply because your current bf isn't talking about marriage. He might treat you as trash if you think he is the next guy for you because the pains you have put him tru will not erase from his memory. And Blv me , he will have it in mind that you finally came back to him when you have No other choice.

Think about that wink

7 Likes

Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by agarawu23(m): 11:09am On Sep 10, 2015
NOBODYY:
Some nairalanders think we don't have sense for real

He's crying...A guy..hin dey craze

This ur fiction no try...next time add more spice
why are we like this ? Something hasn't happen to you doesn't mean it's not happening to others. Yes we can cry for love. I was once in his shoe, i learnt it from my close friend then.

It's emotional tears bro sad

5 Likes

Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by barbiegirl4luv(f): 11:11am On Sep 10, 2015
[quote author=RobinHez post=37862756]Hmmm...


[right][i][b][font=georgia][color=#000099]First of all (go down low!) E be like say dem use cry swear 4 dat ya friend o haba?! angry

Anyways...I'd want u to do something!
Think back to the first time u both met and try to figure out the reason he became attracted to u...was it ur dress, stature, intelligence, money, loving attitude..etc...try finding out. Even if it means asking him...
Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by NOBODYY: 11:12am On Sep 10, 2015
agarawu23:
why are we like this ? Something hasn't happen to you doesn't mean it's not happening to others. Yes we can cry for love. I was once in his shoe, i learnt it from my close friend then.

It's emotional tears bro sad

Crying for a girl
Lolll

4 Likes

Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by barbiegirl4luv(f): 11:13am On Sep 10, 2015
RobinHez:
Hmmm...


First of all (go down low!) E be like say dem use cry swear 4 dat ya friend o haba?! angry

Anyways...I'd want u to do something!
Think back to the first time u both met and try to figure out the reason he became attracted to u...was it ur dress, stature, intelligence, money, loving attitude..etc...try finding out. Even if it means asking him...







Thanks very much for ur response, I guess he is just a very sensitive person and that was actually what pissed me off about him from the start.

Am also gonna ask him that, THANKS
Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by barbiegirl4luv(f): 11:17am On Sep 10, 2015
NOBODYY:
Some nairalanders think we don't have sense for real

He's crying...A guy..hin dey craze

This ur fiction no try...next time add more spice

My dear this is not fiction, he is a very sensitive person and that was what turns me off about him them. I just thought of it that even with all have done to him to make him forget we can ever be he never gave up. It baffles me, it's rear before u see such guys nowadays. Even my present BF wnt do that
Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by Nobody: 11:18am On Sep 10, 2015
The part i don't understand is why he cries so much. It feels like emotional blackmail to me.

7 Likes

Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by agarawu23(m): 11:25am On Sep 10, 2015
NOBODYY:


Crying for a girl
Lolll
seems you don't know what we call 'emotion' when we talk about love. angry

1 Like

Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by ammyluv2002(f): 11:25am On Sep 10, 2015
Hmmmm. This is tough!


Well, your friend who's now a lecturer missed his chances of been with you. You gave him the red flag twice and yet he pretended not to see it. I feel you don't love him that much, maybe you are compelled to like him and i wouldn't blame you. Every lady will definitely like a guy who cry for her and showers her with care but if you're okay with him then fine! Go ahead but remember, God hates divorce.

As for your boyfriend, if he's not making any moves and he's of age & stable, then find out what are his fears. Some guys are scared of commitment, they don't wanna be tied down forever, not that they don't love their babe but just scared. You don't have to rush him, give him time, don't pressurise him but if you feel, time is not on your side and you can't wait then tell him to define the relationship and hear what he will say.

Then, as for your last statement with all due respect to your mum, i don't buy that ideology. When it comes to marriage love isn't enough. Remember, it's a lifetime mission so there are times, love will fade away then what keeps you going? Even if you want to go by that rule, it's still not okay. You should marry a guy who has equal love for you. Once, you're not in love with a guy, there's nothing he will do that will make you happy, you will be frustrated around him and will surely be blinded to all his good deeds so tell him how can you stay in such marriage?

10 Likes

Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by ammyluv2002(f): 11:26am On Sep 10, 2015
andromida:
The part i don't understand is why he cries so much. It feels like emotional blackmail to me.
I feel the same way too
Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by NOBODYY: 11:27am On Sep 10, 2015
agarawu23:
seems you don't know what we call 'emotion' when we talk about love. angry
Teach me undecided
Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by agarawu23(m): 11:29am On Sep 10, 2015
barbiegirl4luv:


My dear this is not fiction, he is a very sensitive person and that was what turns me off about him them. I just thought of it that even with all have done to him to make him forget we can ever be he never gave up. It baffles me, it's rear before u see such guys nowadays. Even my present BF wnt do that
its rear before you see such guys but you turned him down for years

I modified my first comment, you can go tru it

1 Like

Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by barbiegirl4luv(f): 11:31am On Sep 10, 2015
ammyluv2002:
Hmmmm. This is tough!


Well, your friend who's now a lecturer missed his chances of been with you. You gave him the red flag twice and yet he pretended not to see it. I feel you don't love him that much, maybe you are compelled to like him and i wouldn't blame you. Every lady will definitely like a guy who cry for her and showers her with care but if you're okay with him then fine! Go ahead but remember, God hates divorce.

As for your boyfriend, if he's not making any moves and he's of age & stable, then find out what are his fears. Some guys are scared of commitment, they don't wanna be tied down forever, not that they don't love their babe but just scared. You don't have to rush him, give him time, don't pressurise him but if you feel, time is not on your side and you can't wait then tell him to define the relationship and hear what he will say.

Then, as for your last statement with all due respect to your mum, i don't buy that ideology. When it comes to marriage love isn't enough. Remember, it's a lifetime mission so there are times, love will fade away then what keeps you going? Even if you want to go by that rule, it's still not okay. You should marry a guy who has equal love for you. Once, you're not in love with a guy, there's nothing he will do that will make you happy, you will be frustrated around him and will surely be blinded to all his good deeds so tell him how can you stay in such marriage?


This is a very good advice, I really appreciate. Thanks a bunch.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by ammyluv2002(f): 11:32am On Sep 10, 2015
barbiegirl4luv:



This is a very good advice, I really appreciate. Thanks a bunch.
You're welcome.


Wish you all the best!

1 Like

Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by emerged01(m): 11:36am On Sep 10, 2015
Op,the decision is still yours. If you search truly, you will know where your heart belong. it is impossible to love two people the same way. There must somebody you truly love. And to know who love you more,it must be that person who has the fear of God in heart and who can't do without hearing from you in a day

1 Like

Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by funlord(m): 11:41am On Sep 10, 2015
undecided
Even me sef dey cry as I dey read this o.p epistle! Kudos to your "labe orun narrative skills"!

6 Likes

Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by barbiegirl4luv(f): 11:46am On Sep 10, 2015
agarawu23:
I Think you have two things to consider before making up your mind.

1. Do you really love that guy or you just wanna use him as your escape route since you think he loves you and he is ready to settle down ? I don't want you to feel sorry for him because marriage is a future decision. I personally don't think you like this guy because if you do, I blv you would have break up with your bf then and be with him. ( love is like that)

2 2012-2015, how are you sure he hasn't move on since then ? I want you to know that the feelings he had for you then when you guys were together isnt the same again cos things aren't the same. I won't advice you to force yourself on him simply because your current bf isn't talking about marriage. He might treat you as trash if you think he is the next guy for you because the pains you have put him tru will not erase from his memory. And Blv me , he will have it in mind that you finally came back to him when you have No other choice.

Think about that wink

Marriage has never been my issue, I dnt even disturb my BF about it cos am always scared of it but u know there is no how u can run from it. My then (abroad) BF I broke up with him cos he gave me a condition that we must get married before the end of 2013 and I said NO cos I was scared

Am not eager to get married but one day it will come and u have to plan ahead.

Your second question - he has not moved on though he told me he has a GF and that he knows He dsnt deserve me but I would always be in his mind.

Am just confused cos all my life I have always been very careful about my choice of man cos marriage is a lifetime issue if you make the wrong choice, it's your cross, u have to bear it.

Thanks a lot
Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by Nobody: 11:52am On Sep 10, 2015
It's your decision to make

2 Likes

Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by lilmax(m): 11:52am On Sep 10, 2015
The man is weak

4 Likes

Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by barbiegirl4luv(f): 11:53am On Sep 10, 2015
emerged01:
Op,the decision is still yours. If you search truly, you will know where your heart belong. it is impossible to love two people the same way. There must somebody you truly love. And to know who love you more,it must be that person who has the fear of God in heart and who can't do without hearing from you in a day

Thanks dear.

My checkpoint has always been the fear of God, but my current BF doesn't have the fear of God, though he goes to church and I pray every time that God should touch his heart and we also talk everyday/everytime. But this guy has the complete fear of God and knows Y he is serving God.
Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by Nobody: 11:54am On Sep 10, 2015
Please marry whoever loves you and is ready to marry you.No time to be crying anymore, you don cry reach biko.



As for guys who think men don't cry, you need to see when my friend is on the verge! undecided kiss kiss

1 Like

Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by emerged01(m): 12:14pm On Sep 10, 2015
barbiegirl4luv:


Thanks dear.

My checkpoint has always been the fear of God, but my current BF doesn't have the fear of God, though he goes to church and I pray every time that God should touch his heart and we also talk everyday/everytime. But this guy has the complete fear of God and knows Y he is serving God.

Then,you have a choice,if the other is with fear of God.

1 Like

Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by agarawu23(m): 12:23pm On Sep 10, 2015
barbiegirl4luv:


Marriage has never been my issue, I dnt even disturb my BF about it cos am always scared of it but u know there is no how u can run from it. My then (abroad) BF I broke up with him cos he gave me a condition that we must get married before the end of 2013 and I said NO cos I was scared

Am not eager to get married but one day it will come and u have to plan ahead.

Your second question - he has not moved on though he told me he has a GF and that he knows He dsnt deserve me but I would always be in his mind.

Am just confused cos all my life I have always been very careful about my choice of man cos marriage is a lifetime issue if you make the wrong choice, it's your cross, u have to bear it.

Thanks a lot
OK if that's the case, you have No choice than to give him a trial. Ask him just one question "what exactly do you want from me now?"

I will follow your thread to hear his feedback

But you didn't answer my question
Do you love this guy?

2 Likes

Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by emerged01(m): 12:25pm On Sep 10, 2015
lilmax:
The man is weak
it doesnt mean he is weak. cry signifies different things.

1 Like

Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by lilmax(m): 12:29pm On Sep 10, 2015
emerged01:

it doesnt mean he is weak. cry signifies different things.
it means he is more than weak

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by emerged01(m): 12:34pm On Sep 10, 2015
lilmax:
it means he is more than weak
I do cry sometimes when I see something that touches my heart. And sometimes it tells whoever around me that I'm at my balling point.

1 Like

Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by lilmax(m): 1:10pm On Sep 10, 2015
emerged01:

I do cry sometimes when I see something that touches my heart. And sometimes it tells whoever around me that I'm at my balling point.
smh

1 Like

Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by raydatluvs(m): 1:12pm On Sep 10, 2015
agarawu23:
why are we like this ? Something hasn't happen to you doesn't mean it's not happening to others. Yes we can cry for love. I was once in his shoe, i learnt it from my close friend then.

It's emotional tears bro sad
bro, i knw of emotional tears but why wud a guy cry at every issue, I tink dats petty and sissy, IMO.

1 Like

Re: Please Am Darely In Need Of Your Candid Advice On My Relationship by barbiegirl4luv(f): 1:23pm On Sep 10, 2015
agarawu23:
OK if that's the case, you have No choice than to give him a trial. Ask him just one question "what exactly do you want from me now?"

I will follow your thread to hear his feedback

But you didn't answer my question
Do you love this guy?

I love him but you know we ladies always want some qualities (like tall, very handsome etc) grin in men, he has some qualities that I have been using against him but I think they are baseless.

Thanks so much

I will do just that.

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