I am a white girl and i have been seeing a Nigerian guy who is 3 years older than me for about a year now and things have been going well and we recently started talking about getting serious. Then he starting acting strange and when i confronted him he told me he had been holding something back which was causing him to act like that.

His parents were both born and raised in Nigeria and he is their only son and have always been very strict with him as he was growing up. He does not have a close relationship with him even though they live in the same house and they don't really speak to each other. A few weeks ago they sat him down and said that he cannot ever bring a white girl home and they would not even attend his wedding if his bride was white. His mother wants him to marry a black woman but his dad said only a Nigerian girl will do. His dad even said he cannot bring any white person into his home.

So now he feels totally torn and feels he has to choose as there is no point us continuing if he cannot stand up to his parents and tell them about me. He said he is scared to be disowned by his family which i understand. I have said that i will be there and support him what ever he decides but he does need to make a decision as there are feelings involved.

I personally feel that if if he doesn't stand up for himself he will be making a decision out of fear which is not what God tells us to do. I also think that God should be the first person he answers to and he should always respect his parents but the decision comes out of their racist view which is a sin. Finally if he allows them to make this decision for him now they will continue to play a part in his decision making forever and he wont learn to make hard decisions in the future and how can he run a home and a family.

I care about him deeply and i know it is ultimately his decision but i imagine being british i dont fully understand his culture and i doubt his family are willing to speak with me about it and i wanted to see if anyone else had any views or advice on the subject, ?

considerin d culture n norms of Nigerian, especially d easteners hardly can a man e allowed to get married to a white lady. they believe their children shud bring in a lady of same ethnicity, same believe, culture and norms into their home.

to ur post: dis guy is d only son of his parents n his parents do not agree on his marriage to u, my dear if d parents 4 one reason or d other refuses d son bringin u to dere home, den i fink u leave him to his parent, let him find another woman as his parents so need of him.

as for me, i dont believe in marriage without the parent's consent, it doesnt go down well along the line.

so dear, let d guy do as it so pleases his parents.

Good luck

Galaxy

He is telling u lies. No adult man gets dictated to about who he marries in Nigeria, he is just finding a way to dump you.

You know you never know the crazy excuses guys give to escape commitment, thing is i said to him ok well shall i give you some space to figure this out and you come back to me when your ready and he said no i want us to stay the same. Also he keeps calling and seeing me, so that doesn't make sense??

meaning he wants to eat his cake and have it, he wants to keep sleeping with you because you are yummy, but he doesnt want to have a commitment with you. Next time he comes, tell him your parents says, no commitment, no sex. see his reaction.

I have never slept with him, i don't belive in sex before marriage,

@Galaxy

Good, then let him go, thats what is paining him, his di ck goes up each time he sees you, but u aint giving him, so he doesnt see why, so he thinks by telling u that, you will give da hole to him, but hey, the erect di ck is a terrible thing to waste. why not give him?

@post
if he no longer wants u
feel free to apply 2 me
im ok
ha ha ha

Because i am christian and so is he. I don't really want to go into a sex before marriage debate but i will never think it's right and neither does he.

@ Poster

Personally, I hate to tell people this, but just leave it. People who are even from the same country have tribal issues let alone racial ones. You have already mentioned he is their only son and you do not know much about his culture. Are you willing to truly learn?

Anybody can say he's using you and doesn't really want to committ etc, but there are some men and women who are hugely influenced by their parents!!

It's all good being in love etc, but even if he goes against his parents wishes, are you going to be mentally and emotionally prepared for all the consqequences to follow?

Yes, it is his own choice and I don't believe parents should choose anyones spouse for them because it's their own life and once parents are gone, you will be questioning why you did things their way and now they are gone , you are not happy. Anyways, please don't force it, if he truly loves you, he will stand up for you and fight your corner. Otherwise, everything will just naturally unfold itself.

tombola:

Galaxy

He is telling u lies. No adult man gets dictated to about who he marries in Nigeria, he is just finding a way to dump you.

Excuse me? don't be silly tombola. There are adults who gets dictacted in Nigeria cos of there up bringing.

bblacky:

considerin d culture n norms of Nigerian, especially d easteners hardly can a man e allowed to get married to a white lady. they believe their children shud bring in a lady of same ethnicity, same believe, culture and norms into their home.

to ur post: dis guy is d only son of his parents n his parents do not agree on his marriage to u, my dear if d parents 4 one reason or d other refuses d son bringin u to dere home, den i fink u leave him to his parent, let him find another woman as his parents so need of him.

as for me, i dont believe in marriage without the parent's consent, it doesnt go down well along the line.

so dear, let d guy do as it so pleases his parents.

Good luck

(considerin d culture n norms of Nigerian, especially d easteners hardly can a man e allowed to get married to a white lady. they believe their children shud bring in a lady of same ethnicity, same believe, culture and norms into their home
Where did u get that from? NOT every family does that, don't generalise something u dont know. pple have moved on now.

Galaxy88:

I am a white girl and i have been seeing a Nigerian guy who is 3 years older than me for about a year now and things have been going well and we recently started talking about getting serious. Then he starting acting strange and when i confronted him he told me he had been holding something back which was causing him to act like that.

His parents were both born and raised in Nigeria and he is their only son and have always been very strict with him as he was growing up. He does not have a close relationship with him even though they live in the same house and they don't really speak to each other. A few weeks ago they sat him down and said that he cannot ever bring a white girl home and they would not even attend his wedding if his bride was white. His mother wants him to marry a black woman but his dad said only a Nigerian girl will do. His dad even said he cannot bring any white person into his home.

So now he feels totally torn and feels he has to choose as there is no point us continuing if he cannot stand up to his parents and tell them about me. He said he is scared to be disowned by his family which i understand. I have said that i will be there and support him what ever he decides but he does need to make a decision as there are feelings involved.

I personally feel that if if he doesn't stand up for himself he will be making a decision out of fear which is not what God tells us to do. I also think that God should be the first person he answers to and he should always respect his parents but the decision comes out of their racist view which is a sin. Finally if he allows them to make this decision for him now they will continue to play a part in his decision making forever and he wont learn to make hard decisions in the future and how can he run a home and a family.

I care about him deeply and i know it is ultimately his decision but i imagine being british i dont fully understand his culture and i doubt his family are willing to speak with me about it and i wanted to see if anyone else had any views or advice on the subject, ?

He needs to stand his ground, his parents should not stop him from getting married to u IF he really loves u. This is a very common excuse alot of boneless guy uses it to end rela/ship. Last xmas i took my ex gf picture back home to show my family, they supported me, only wanted me to know her better and be sure she knows where i came from, culture and traditions. unfortunitely the rela/ship ended cos of other issues. SSo not all eastern Nigeria families are like that

justwise:

Excuse me? don't be silly tombola. There are adults who gets dictacted in Nigeria cos of there up bringing.

That adult is still a kid then.

tombola:

That adult is still a kid then.

Now this is what you known for - Romance section - typical I_laugh syndrome

blacksta:

Now this is what you known for  - Romance section - typical I_laugh syndrome

This goat is here chewing leaves again?

tombola:

This goat is here chewing leaves again?

shit face - your name is i _laugh - oy a confess and i will leave u alone.

blacksta:

shit face  - your name is  i _laugh  - oy a  confess and i will leave u alone.

Everyone knows that one, so, what da hell?

tombola:

Everyone knows that one, so, what da hell?

so why are using multiple id when you know it against the Nairaland user policy?

ask your rotten butt hole.

I am going to report you to Seun. So start thinking of a new username cause you going to receive a ban.


shitface

na today?

waooo, wat tribe is he?

@ Blacksta
@ Tombola

Please, the OP needs help.  

blacksta:

I am going to report you to Seun. So start thinking of a new username cause you going to receive a ban.


shitface

LMAO

tombola:

ask your rotten butt hole.

LMAO

tombola:

na today?

make them also ban your IP address as well - i will also mention that as well


shitface.

I have never slept with him, i don't belive in sex before marriage,

Story story

justwise:

(considerin d culture n norms of Nigerian, especially d easteners hardly can a man e allowed to get married to a white lady. they believe their children shud bring in a lady of same ethnicity, same believe, culture and norms into their home
Where did u get that from? NOT every family does that, don't generalise something u dont know. pple have moved on now.

NOT EVERY FAMILY, pple v moved on, but not every ppl, am not generalsin d issue here, bu 80% out of 100% here in Nigeria do believe in dat.



Thank

Galaxy88:

Because i am christian and so is he. I don't really want to go into a sex before marriage debate but i will never think it's right and neither does he.

Thank God if u have not had sex, cos dat wud have worsen it all, so let d guy go his way stop seein him, tell him u need him no more.

@Poster,
Either ways(Lies Or Truth), Let him be and move on with your life.
I believe you wouldnt't want to proceed with a building project whose foundation is already crumbling.

blacksta - ban my IP? Now I know u r realy a goat.

@Tombola
am sure you are a kid or immature if not you wont post the reply you posted,

@Galaxy
being the only child is the source of the probs, if his parent dont want him marrying a white gurl, take a walk gurl but dont let that turn you to a racist because not all Nigerians dont marry white, it's just because of their siuation(being the only child)

I know of many Nigerians guys and ladies that married white, so that is no news,

Be strong, as my pastor will always say "If it's God, He will make it work even against all odds"

SAY NO PREMARITAL SEXXXX, SEX IS WORTH WAITING FOR

There is no reason why you should continue with this useles relationship,. if his people dont want you or he dont want u then sugar go coz yals gona end in divorce anyway. so no need to put everyone thru drama coz we all know that they lived happly ever after dont exist with white folks

This tombola self, is this ur opinion or ur showing ur sentiments without qualms? If u dont know what to say u betta keep quite. Why should u be taking this issue personal, ur advice is silly. If u claim that to be ur opinion this is mine about ur comment. WTF