Benoxvals:


Change denomination??he is still under his parents wings and they still provide for him.
Being a black sheep does not solve the problem rather it adds more stress to the one he has.
I still advice he endure it until he is independent enough to make his own decisions and back them up.

endure it still he comes a monster and still repeat the same process when he have a kids.

somethings are best done with stubbornness

smada13:
@Op, I think I need to meet you one on one...... agreed your mum is harsh but the sad truth is she wants the best for you and don't know how else to go about it but being direct....
I'm a deeper lifer too...and my mum has been a choir up till now and added to that, she is a woman coordinator....she was kinda direct in bringing us up (4 of us)....and guess wat, I came out d better for it...
See these people telling you to rebel don't know what they are saying cuz d Bible said, a child left to himself will be a disgrace to his father...its a fact your cannot allow youbdo things your own way, but you know adults now, they'll want their decision to be your actions...
and another thing is, if you are a real deeper lifer, you'll understand that we the children of leaders don't have a life of our own because the progress of our parents in the church is tied to how well we the kids are living the "proper" life we are meant to live...and as you know, it will be a disgrace if your parents are suspended from being a worker just because of your own "wayward" attitude...I can understand them but its not the perfect way for them to curb your excesses.......

Mr "real deeper lifer" is it suppose to be about the "progress" you or your parent make in the church or about your personal Christian race to heaven? God is not interested in your denomination or status in the church or whether you were in this or that position? Remember "by their fruits ye shall know them" and if you manage to get to heaven by the skin of your teeth, your so-called work will be tested by fire at the bema seat.
So don't get it twisted!

Edusouls:
black man, devils offspring, naturaly endowed with wickedness, dishonesty,and stupidity.christianity in the dark continent is now turned to wickedness and greed...God dosent even like us while we are here wasting our precious time deceiving ourselves worshiping man of God...cursed race...

chaii!

is there any hospital here!

sonofananimal:
endure it still he comes a monster and still repeat the same process when he have a kids.

somethings are best done with stubbornness

Wow..seems you are a hardcore extremist kinda guy..I respect your opinions but I still choose mine.

Cutehector:
Hypocrisy stinks in the sight of God... Just do and graduate and live by urself.

the parents are no hypocrite they training him the way he should grow don't miss church don't dress worldly and the guy wants to die

meraki:




Mr "real deeper lifer" is it suppose to be about the "progress" you or your parent make in the church or about your personal Christian race to heaven? God is not interested in your denomination or status in the church or whether you were in this or that position? Remember "by their fruits ye shall know them" and if you manage to get to heaven by the skin of your teeth, your so-called work will be tested by fire at the bema seat.
So don't get it twisted!

I should give you a hug

xexy:
the parents are no hypocrite they training him the way he should grow don't miss church don't dress worldly and the guy wants to die

they be acting like pharisees and jews.

nairalander2015:
Good day nairaland.
As I write this... I am depressed, simply depressed.. If suicide led to heaven mayb i would have been a victim.
Truly itz nt everyone who smiles that is happy.
MY story
I was born into a deeper life family 20yrs ago.. And I can say i regret being born into deeper life.. I would ave preferred been converted there than being born there.
My travails started in secondary school.. Wen i failed to attend a fellowship, my mum talked harshly, slapped me an said i was a dishes disgrace.. Just because i failed to attend a school fellowship.. And I knew that I wasn't a bad kid.. Jes the gentle type.. Since then it has been bad... When others celebrate their mum.. I can't.. I am as far from my parents as anything.. Jes because they are deeperlifers.. I can't seat comfortably with my parents.. Cos of principles. Next was the battle concerning trousers.. She woke me up one black night with a thundering slap over a slim trouser.. Imagine dat was @16.. I cried and cried dat day.. Dat God made a mistake borning me in deeper life... Jes because i walked with a girl.. She banned me from going out..
Even at a young age... Threatened me that she"ll disown me if I marry a lady who wears wigs, trousers.. Omg.. Now.. I am in the university.. I never want to go home. I hate home.. I am depressed.. So so depressed.. My dad didn't send me any cash for a month cos a friend told him I failed to attend a midweek service.. Imagine.. Yet i am not rebellious. I know fellow guys like me who had big problems with their children but they were rebellious.. But i am not
I feel depressed writing this.. Spirituality without love is a disaster.. Aw i wish i wasn't born to a deeper life's family.. Itz a curse.. I am tired.. Itz threat all the time. I am not close to my parents.. Imagine.. Seems i should just die.. I now see my mum as a enemy.. Anytime i see her i am sad.. Talks too much about simple things in a bad manner quoting Bible over needless things.. Watching ball outside is a sin.. Visiting friends is a nono.. Cos they are highly placed in the church.. Yet no one to share my burdens with.. So sad... Yet they think i am happy..i know many out there experience something similar but are helples.. Oh God have mercy on me.. Itz calamitous to be the child of a fanatic especially if you don't wanna be a fanatic also.... Advice pls.. What can I do? So so depressed.. Feel like dieing to be reborn elsewhere

if talking with your pastor already failed, I'll advice you stay strong and survive until you graduate. start saving money as from now so when you graduate, yoi can stand on your feet for a while, then get a result that would get you a job easily.
the chances that your parents will change their minds is pretty slim but i guess you cant ignore the commandment of honour your father and your mother. prayer would definately help you cope while at home

Benoxvals:


Wow..seems you are a hardcore extremist kinda guy..I respect your opinions but I still choose mine.

no problem, just hope he won't make the wrong move

Dear friend, the first thing I want you to understand is that your parents love you and so they do not want you to go astray. Though they may be rather too harsh on you but notwithstanding they mean well. My advice to you is to be patient with them and try to express your feelings to them once in a while in a matured and respectful manner. At least by age you are an adult and you should develop the confidence to discuss issues affecting you with them. Furthermore, assess yourself and consider the issues on which they disagree with you in order to make amends in necessary areas. You also need to understand that soon, now or later you will become independent and live on your own. I want emphasize that you should not rebel against your parents instead be patient with them and try to have discussions with them on your feelings. The truth is that your parents love you and mean well for you. All they are doing is to guide you and prevent you from going astray. Moreover, you have be of good conduct at all times and mind the kind of company you keep. May God help you.

Dirkcoyt:
You all are disgustful hypocrite with sham advises! Someone is contemplating sucidal option you all are talking about,discipline,african way, that he would later apreciate them later after committing sucide?

Lazy heads everywhere! Dude, don't go home for holiday breaks, go do car washing to feed yourself, don't remember them, don't even think of going home, your parent are too stupid to cope with, don't let them blackmail your emotions cause of school fee! Dude you still in school the realty is you will still have another 2-3yrs before total financial freedom, and no way you can cope with them for this long.

I recall then,when my mum nags,I tell it to her she nags,and I slam the door and leave the house. When I return she respect me, I don't take shii from anyone,especially the one that can ruin me, the african way is good but don't over push it cause we all have a threshold to this bullies!

God bless you for this.

My dear brother, let me ask you a few questions before I will know what to say, why did you decided not to do their wish? And also don't u like being a Deeper life member? Pls answer this question, and let me tell you this your parents wants d best for you according to their own knowledge and understanding, but that doesn't mean they should treat you anyhow. You have to be careful in dealing with them, because it will make you loose many things from them. Try and sit them down, let them know you are not a kid anymore, all the best.

Fictitious stories everywhere

interleukin:



God bless you for this.

And you too madam, I was really appalled to the previous advises sincerely,it hurt to my marrows.

Hum

blueandbirds:
Sorry about your predicament bro, my only advice to you is to report your parents to the pastor in charge of the deeper life branch day attend, lay all your grievances to him so dat he can talk to your parents on your behalf, hopefully they will treat you wit respect, but if they don't you have to do it in a rough way by your self, you let's dem kno dat you no more a baby, it's not gonna be easy but trust me you will get your freedom from dem...

ah you want to kill him finally, pastor that will table the boys matter with elders that he is angry with his mum because she is leading him in the right way, I think the best thing is DIALOGUE. There are lots of things communication can repair

Dirkcoyt:


And you too madam, I was really appalled to the previous advises sincerely,it hurt to my marrows.

Lol... . Me too.

opyzy:
This isn't easy but I'll advise you to rebel against them at least for once, that will make them realise you ain't a kid anymore that can bossed around they will be caught off guard since you have not done it before they are pushing you to the wall and you have to strike back

This is most destructive advice I have everr read on naira land."He should rebel and strike back"@Op your parents want the best for you and they love you don't see your mum as enemy .Although the channel they are using to instil discipline may be wrong and harsh please bear for the time being ! Make sure you have personal relationship with God and put your best in your studies .For now obey your parents and abide by the rules and regulations and be prayerful ! Never rebel against your mother ! No matter what you feel your mother loves You

one mistake most Nigerian parents make is that they so paint religion in such a way that God seems like one wicked maths teacher from Ghana...it's NOT so...God is a father and not some mopol... wonder why the whole ten commandments were summed up into L.O.V.E...

the same way two days ago i was skyping my dad and he was like your hair is too much, what kinda style is that... I told him that there are better things to criticise... have you asked me if I'm filled in the Holy Ghost or if I have evangelised to someone?? the priorities are placed wrongly these days...hopefully our kids can enjoy serving God and not being coerced into stuff

nairalander2015:
Good day nairaland.
As I write this... I am depressed, simply depressed.. If suicide led to heaven mayb i would have been a victim.
Truly itz nt everyone who smiles that is happy.
MY story
I was born into a deeper life family 20yrs ago.. And I can say i regret being born into deeper life.. I would ave preferred been converted there than being born there.
My travails started in secondary school.. Wen i failed to attend a fellowship, my mum talked harshly, slapped me an said i was a dishes disgrace.. Just because i failed to attend a school fellowship.. And I knew that I wasn't a bad kid.. Jes the gentle type.. Since then it has been bad... When others celebrate their mum.. I can't.. I am as far from my parents as anything.. Jes because they are deeperlifers.. I can't seat comfortably with my parents.. Cos of principles. Next was the battle concerning trousers.. She woke me up one black night with a thundering slap over a slim trouser.. Imagine dat was @16.. I cried and cried dat day.. Dat God made a mistake borning me in deeper life... Jes because i walked with a girl.. She banned me from going out..
Even at a young age... Threatened me that she"ll disown me if I marry a lady who wears wigs, trousers.. Omg.. Now.. I am in the university.. I never want to go home. I hate home.. I am depressed.. So so depressed.. My dad didn't send me any cash for a month cos a friend told him I failed to attend a midweek service.. Imagine.. Yet i am not rebellious. I know fellow guys like me who had big problems with their children but they were rebellious.. But i am not
I feel depressed writing this.. Spirituality without love is a disaster.. Aw i wish i wasn't born to a deeper life's family.. Itz a curse.. I am tired.. Itz threat all the time. I am not close to my parents.. Imagine.. Seems i should just die.. I now see my mum as a enemy.. Anytime i see her i am sad.. Talks too much about simple things in a bad manner quoting Bible over needless things.. Watching ball outside is a sin.. Visiting friends is a nono.. Cos they are highly placed in the church.. Yet no one to share my burdens with.. So sad... Yet they think i am happy..i know many out there experience something similar but are helples.. Oh God have mercy on me.. Itz calamitous to be the child of a fanatic especially if you don't wanna be a fanatic also.... Advice pls.. What can I do? So so depressed.. Feel like dieing to be reborn elsewhere

Bro I can relate to your story, because I was born into the same church. Everything your mum did mine did too. Are u the first born? Cos in my case the person that rebelled was my elder sis, and deeper life parent will almost disown you, my mum practically stopped sending her money while in the University because she was fixing her hair. At that time almost all our friends from church were experiencing thesame thing, a girl left home completely, one of my friends almost lost is life to beating from his dad because he wore jeans and his dad was a pastor. My elder sister revolted and we all followed, now we are independent whenever I go home I try to follow her to church because the church still has its good side, just that the members behaves like fanatics. Note the way you feel towards your mom is normal, but hold your ground and when you eventually leave home the love will come back. Pastor W. F Kumuyi still remain one of the best preachers I listen to.

interleukin:



Lol... . Me too.

but why do they do that? Then, I see football matches a lot, everynight I come back, na serious beating, it got to a stage have adapted to the saying na beating, my mum na single mother, which makes it more difficult. I got back from a match, she started beating me, I was unfazed throughout the beating, while beating I told her there is a match tomorrow, that I'm seeing it regardless the beating! My mum broke down in tears to say sorry! You know what at the end? She killed football watching in me, I later find it hard watching 45mins of half time. I revolted to gain my freedom! I will not treat my kids that way

You're almost done...bear it!

If your allowance is tied to fellowship, attend.

There are tons of people who would wish to have your parents, but can't: guys without parents, and guys with parents - who can't afford to send them to school.

My brother,
I will advice you to get the facts right!
Your parents, whether right or wrong, have their choice to make and fully responsible for the outcome. If you still want to be a child they can be proud of, you have to be careful and diplomatic about how you relate with them.
I have my experience too as a child dependent on my parents and responsible to them, but I was loyal to their opinions, today, I'm fully independent of anyone.
I take decisions and I haveca job to support myself, I'm fully aware of the consequence of my choice.
My advice is, obey and submit to your parents "as unto the Lord", this will not go on forever, endure the present and believe that tomorrow is full of unlimited possibilities. Allow the fear of God to guide your choice in life.

JayJustus:
one mistake most Nigerian parents make is that they so paint religion in such a way that God seems like one wicked maths teacher from Ghana...it's NOT so...God is a father and not some mopol... wonder why the whole ten commandments were summed up into L.O.V.E...

the same way two days ago i was skyping my dad and he was like your hair is too much, what kinda style is that... I told him that there are better things to criticise... have you asked me if I'm filled in the Holy Ghost or if I have evangelised to someone?? the priorities are placed wrongly these days...hopefully our kids can enjoy serving God and not being coerced into stuff

Oh lord!!!! I have died of laughter .
One thing I've also noticed is that such parents have really wonderful kids that they'd have enjoyed if only they were not so extremely strict with superficial things.
The so act like wicked maths teachers from Ghana to the extent that you're not sure of yourself around them. You don't know what to say and what not to say, sitting together in the living room rarely happens, and when it does its like a funeral. SMH.

Dirkcoyt:
but why do they do that? Then, I see football matches a lot, everynight I come back, na serious beating, it got to a stage have adapted to the saying na beating, my mum na single mother, which makes it more difficult. I got back from a match, she started beating me, I was unfazed throughout the beating, while beating I told her there is a match tomorrow, that I'm seeing it regardless the beating! My mum broke down in tears to say sorry! You know what at the end? She killed football watching in me, I later find it hard watching 45mins of half time. I revolted to gain my freedom! I will not treat my kids that way

My dear I don't know o. But the important thing is to do it differently with your kids. There's no manual for parenting, so mistakes are allowed. However when we refuse to respect others, even our kids, wahala dey.

Had it been u narrated this as a muslim, many would have spewed all d worst things about islam.


Anyway, my advise to you is that your parents are your parents. No matter how bad they make you feel, i pray the good lord give you the strength and patience to deal with this till you no longer depend on them.

The best advice you need is that there's time for everything i only pity you because you are not a pretender you cannot act movy . Deeper life people love eye service only than you will be a darling son/daughter, so my dear go to your parent apologise to them and start behaving as one of them so you can complete your university education and have a job then your own house before you set your policy but for now you are not on your own, you are under somebody.

nairalander2015:
Good day nairaland.
As I write this... I am depressed, simply depressed.. If suicide led to heaven mayb i would have been a victim.
Truly itz nt everyone who smiles that is happy.
MY story
I was born into a deeper life family 20yrs ago.. And I can say i regret being born into deeper life.. I would ave preferred been converted there than being born there.
My travails started in secondary school.. Wen i failed to attend a fellowship, my mum talked harshly, slapped me an said i was a dishes disgrace.. Just because i failed to attend a school fellowship.. And I knew that I wasn't a bad kid.. Jes the gentle type.. Since then it has been bad... When others celebrate their mum.. I can't.. I am as far from my parents as anything.. Jes because they are deeperlifers.. I can't seat comfortably with my parents.. Cos of principles. Next was the battle concerning trousers.. She woke me up one black night with a thundering slap over a slim trouser.. Imagine dat was @16.. I cried and cried dat day.. Dat God made a mistake borning me in deeper life... Jes because i walked with a girl.. She banned me from going out..
Even at a young age... Threatened me that she"ll disown me if I marry a lady who wears wigs, trousers.. Omg.. Now.. I am in the university.. I never want to go home. I hate home.. I am depressed.. So so depressed.. My dad didn't send me any cash for a month cos a friend told him I failed to attend a midweek service.. Imagine.. Yet i am not rebellious. I know fellow guys like me who had big problems with their children but they were rebellious.. But i am not
I feel depressed writing this.. Spirituality without love is a disaster.. Aw i wish i wasn't born to a deeper life's family.. Itz a curse.. I am tired.. Itz threat all the time. I am not close to my parents.. Imagine.. Seems i should just die.. I now see my mum as a enemy.. Anytime i see her i am sad.. Talks too much about simple things in a bad manner quoting Bible over needless things.. Watching ball outside is a sin.. Visiting friends is a nono.. Cos they are highly placed in the church.. Yet no one to share my burdens with.. So sad... Yet they think i am happy..i know many out there experience something similar but are helples.. Oh God have mercy on me.. Itz calamitous to be the child of a fanatic especially if you don't wanna be a fanatic also.... Advice pls.. What can I do? So so depressed.. Feel like dieing to be reborn elsewhere

. Hey! man, I used to be in your shoes but in my case it was my uncle. I was not permited to have friends,watch TV, or do sports. All I could do was read and go to church (we never missed any church program not even vigils.. lol) It got to a point that the thought of going to church alone made me feel sick. But am a bad boy by default so I still found a way to do some of the things I loved and didn't mind been beaten afterwards.


well my advice for you since you are in school and away from your folks is, try attending other churches when yours is not having any church program since your parents have patially "followed you to school". In my case I stoped going to church for a whole year..... ouch! I needed that break. Then try making friends with "fun to be with" people.

Hmmmm! sitting your parents down and talking to them about blah blah blah from experience will yeild no positive result,and that is if you'll ever gather enough gauts to do that. So better find a way to make yourself happy by doing those things you've wanted to do but couldn't because you had them close by.


NOTE: you need to be strong because it takes a longer time to heal a wound in the heart and mind. Mine was inficted for 13 years and from I tender age of 7. Am still recovering.

So be strong and dogged in your search for lov,e happiness and freedom, for your sake and for the sake of your children unborn because I bet you do not want to raise them the way you were. Plus you can not give what you do not have so be resolute.

interleukin:



Oh lord!!!! I have died of laughter .
One thing I've also noticed is that such parents have really wonderful kids that they'd have enjoyed if only they were not so extremely strict with superficial things.
The so act like wicked maths teachers from Ghana to the extent that you're not sure of yourself around them. You don't know what to say and what not to say, sitting together in the living room rarely happens, and when it does its like a funeral. SMH.

well as I grew older, i saw how things should be done, i was over-exposed, my parents started touring the world their eyes opened and now we all blend... those dark times were really fearful...fasting and prayers every now and then (to me it had no meaning but just a day to intentionally starve yourself and follow parents "laws"

i hope things will change for many Nigerian parents cos this beans is real these days

interleukin:



My dear I don't know o. But the important thing is to do it differently with your kids. There's no manual for parenting, so mistakes are allowed. However when we refuse to respect others, even our kids, wahala dey.

Yessir, have a great day sir

Thats how staying in a deeper life family can be atimes, you just have to bear with the inconvenience cos they are your parents and are taking care of you. When you finish your schooling and are working you can change church.

Its a pity some parents hide under the guise of protecting their children to pump up their egos and to impress church owners who dont even care about them or practice what they preach. Their girls are very boring and unromantic they dont even wear sanitary pads during their menses. yuck

nairalander2015:
Good day nairaland.
As I write this... I am depressed, simply depressed.. If suicide led to heaven mayb i would have been a victim.
Truly itz nt everyone who smiles that is happy.
MY story
I was born into a deeper life family 20yrs ago.. And I can say i regret being born into deeper life.. I would ave preferred been converted there than being born there.
My travails started in secondary school.. Wen i failed to attend a fellowship, my mum talked harshly, slapped me an said i was a dishes disgrace.. Just because i failed to attend a school fellowship.. And I knew that I wasn't a bad kid.. Jes the gentle type.. Since then it has been bad... When others celebrate their mum.. I can't.. I am as far from my parents as anything.. Jes because they are deeperlifers.. I can't seat comfortably with my parents.. Cos of principles. Next was the battle concerning trousers.. She woke me up one black night with a thundering slap over a slim trouser.. Imagine dat was @16.. I cried and cried dat day.. Dat God made a mistake borning me in deeper life... Jes because i walked with a girl.. She banned me from going out..
Even at a young age... Threatened me that she"ll disown me if I marry a lady who wears wigs, trousers.. Omg.. Now.. I am in the university.. I never want to go home. I hate home.. I am depressed.. So so depressed.. My dad didn't send me any cash for a month cos a friend told him I failed to attend a midweek service.. Imagine.. Yet i am not rebellious. I know fellow guys like me who had big problems with their children but they were rebellious.. But i am not
I feel depressed writing this.. Spirituality without love is a disaster.. Aw i wish i wasn't born to a deeper life's family.. Itz a curse.. I am tired.. Itz threat all the time. I am not close to my parents.. Imagine.. Seems i should just die.. I now see my mum as a enemy.. Anytime i see her i am sad.. Talks too much about simple things in a bad manner quoting Bible over needless things.. Watching ball outside is a sin.. Visiting friends is a nono.. Cos they are highly placed in the church.. Yet no one to share my burdens with.. So sad... Yet they think i am happy..i know many out there experience something similar but are helples.. Oh God have mercy on me.. Itz calamitous to be the child of a fanatic especially if you don't wanna be a fanatic also.... Advice pls.. What can I do? So so depressed.. Feel like dieing to be reborn elsewhere

I feel your pain bro and i think i can relate with that but my mom wasn't that lol bro my advice for u is to play along with them i know it would be difficult but you've got to do it to keep the allowance coming from ur parents when you are done with school and you are a man of ur own then u can rebel against your parents even if they decide to disowned u i mean by then u can handle it ok but for now just play along try and make ur parents happy cos it wont be easy if ur parents decide to cut u off i know how far religious fanatic can go they can even kick their only child out of the house thinking they are doing it for GOD its terrible