I got this mail from a Nairalander.

See the unedited mail after the cut..

Please, read and advise him..


[b]"I've been a guest at NL for a while, I just joined yesterday (Sunday) because I think I'm really in need of your advice.
I am one of those guys that do not believe is necessary for marriage or for a smooth (but advocate of understanding and sacrifice). I have been in this relationship for about 4 years. We've been strong together, and we were the admiration of very many while on campus, even much later, very many still wished they were like us. We planned on getting married last year, but my mom just didn't like her. My mom said she wasn't beautiful, and that she's not from our "class". The failure of our marriage plans caused a strain in my relationship with my mom, and also with my woman.
Although, I thought I was caused the hitch between my mom and my woman because of my insistence on marrying last year. This year, I tried to reconcile both, but it seems to becan almost-impossible task. My mom is impossible to deal with. I am confused!!!
Do I continue in with my woman (let the worse happen)?
Do I let her go (free her from my grip, yield to my mom)?
I'm so confused because I've never seen a woman with whom I am this much compatible. I have never seen a woman this decent, my brother told me I'd never get a girl like her if I lose her. Please advise me."[/b]

WHEN YOU TALK OF CLASS? IS SHE FROM A LOWER BACK GROUND?

First of all your mother does not have the right to dictate to you who you will spend the rest of your life with is your life not hers, and if you decided to move on without her, you will be the one to suffer for the rest of your life not your mother,.
And again the beauty of a woman is inside not outside.

He should follow his heart

Was the mother not a classless chic wen his father decided to put her in a 'class'? All des women sef

Chaiii, really pity that lady.. she doesn't deserve all these treatments. .taunting her because of her background. . Really, your mum is so shallow minded (no offence intended).. Thought your mum should know better. .Marriage isn't about the physical. .
Also, What about "tushing" her up? Who wouldn't want to embrace upgrade?

Seriously I feel you shouldn't yield to your mum but then I really wonder how her life would be with your mum in the house...

I feel so sad for you. .about to lose a good woman because of some silly reason. ..

Anyway, still talk to your mum.. let her know how happy the lady makes you, her good qualities et al.. what about your dad? You can get someone to talk to your mum too...

Use your pastor, priest or whoever to influence your mother

After marriage, it is you and your wife not your mother so, be diplomatic but go ahead with the "decent" girl

Shoroniyen o...

Though I'm not married but there's always a respected counsel of having a parental consent in marriage simply because it goes a long way...
But from my personal reasoning, in as much there's a convincing love between the partners with the Greatest Of Divinity supports, then no barrier should scare them...
Goodluck to them

If u truly love her n ur convinced she's d one 4 u,then go ahead n marry her

Ur mom's reasons 4 u not 2 get married 2 ur fiancee does not hold water

I still think you shud have a heart to heart talk with ur mom. Give her cogent reasons, don't just tell her you love the girl, most of these old peeps don't wanna hear I love her.
Let her understand that class doesn't really matter and the girl is well behaved.
Talk to your mom, u need her blessings. Trust me, moms can be a hard nut to crack when u marry without their consent. I've seen where they even went diabolical against their own children.

Talk to her, if she doesn't listen call in a person she respects. By all means get her consent, this is Africa.

Hmm... .. . I think you have to have a heart to heart talk with your mother on this. Let her see reasons why you think she is all you want, even if it means inviting someone she respects into this. Class.... . If there is a way you can polish her to suit her taste, pls do. Except if there is something mother is tryna hide.

StPete:
Was the mother not a classless chic wen his father decided to put her in a 'class'? All des women sef

How did you come to this conclusion? Like women have nothing going for them or what? Do you know her background?

I'm against the woman but your comment makes no sense. .

tse1v1:
WHEN YOU TALK OF CLASS? IS SHE FROM A LOWER BACK GROUND?

Yes, something of that sort!

Honestly, ur parents' opinion matters when choosing a life partner. However, ur mother's excuse is baseless. If all she has against ur babe is CLASS and BEAUTY, then go ahead and marry her cos ur mum is just being vain.

Hmmmm......this is a huge dilemma pls handle carefully....

Firstly your mum is Far More important than any Gf for now....until she becomes ur wife she ain't on same level with ur mum

Secondly Every guy wants a caring loving lady to become his wife and finally you finally found one which is really great

Now the problem is finding a common ground between both of them cos I can honestly tell you that if ur wife doesn't have a good relationship with ur mum it would be like living Hell....

Don't listen to anyone that tells u to not listen to ur mum becos your mum has a huge role to play in ur marriage...also it seems you guys have a great bond which can't be easily broken...

All you can do is pray to God and ask for love between ur future bride and mum cos you truely need it

Goodluck and Godbless

I hate that talk " I can't see somebody like him/her again" you will surly see even more better than him/her.

I am not in support of a young man getting married to a lady his mother reject (blv me or not, u won't enjoy that marriage).

Though your mother's reason isn't making sense if that's the only reason she is rejecting the Lady and you made a very big mistake for not hiding your mother's comment from the Lady.

Have it in Mind that your mum might have another reason cos they know better than us.

Creamish:
Honestly, ur parents' opinion matters when choosing a life partner. However, ur mother's excuse is baseless. If all she has against ur babe is CLASS and BEAUTY, then go ahead and marry her cos ur mum is just being vain.

Just wondering how the lady's life would be if the guy goes on to marry her against his mum's wish...

It would be another MIL-DIL wahala. .

Your mother has no right to make you unhappy, marry your woman or your mum. Parents have destroyed many lives...with good intentions of course . Until you can fully take charge of your life, you are not an adult yet. Don't end up in a loveless marriage because of your mother, you will end up resenting her.

Be very clear within your heart that you will marry this lady, if you are sure of all her attributes that you have listed, because ultimately, you are the one, not your mum, that will leave with whoever you choose to marry for the rest of your life .

Pray and talk to God about your mum, as there is no heart(decision) that God can not change.

Talk to your dad and mum, letting them know the reasons this girl is best for you to marry. Try not to focus much on the fact that both of you love each while talking to them. You should also involve your pastor, priest, uncles, and any senior person your mum holds in high regard.

May God see you through this.

If truly, that is the reason she gave, your mum is an embarrassment, I'm sorry.

Hummmm....

Really complicated nevertheless, your mum shouldn't be the one to determine your fate in terms of marriage because whomever you choose to be with, you will be the one to live with the person and not your mum.

So, never let her go out of your grip if truly she is the best for you.

.

Your mother doesn't want you to get married to an ugly and local girl, can't you understand??

Find someone presentable my friend

Is yo mother classy and beautiful?

If a man is making a mistake , leave him .let him learn from it ,

Your mum doesn't have the rite to tell u what's best for u ....she could only give u advise to follow your own path

The beautiful thing is learn to look beyond a lady beauty and go into her character.. As u all know beauty fades away with time !!!


All in all your decision is up to u , jah bless home Amin !!

Marry your mother then, since she is so high class and beautiful. Some mothers can be so annoying when they can. Making trouble when there is none!

your mum is very funny oo lol

Your mum married your father and gave birth to you. So,your mum should let you marry whom you like. Classy or beautiful is not a yardstick for a peaceful home. Beauty and classy is in the heart and not facially.
Ignore your mum and get married bro,she will still come around.

Your mummy should give you stronger reasons not to marry her.her present reasons are baseless.

My brother,

Talk to someone to talk to your mum. Else, keep delaying marriage till she resets.

Na you go live with ur wife o... No b Mummy or daddy o... It's ur life....

Then let the mother wed her son. Nonsense!

Is it the mother that is getting married or him...? Pls listen to your mum, go find someone else, someone who won't welcome you mum in your house.. maybe then, she will learn not to pick for your siblings...