For me I think her problem is more psychological than physical combine with the fact that she is a staunch Christian. It's not like she doesn't know these acts of her but she feels she is unique n on d right track.

Honestly it will be very difficult to change her except u try to change her perspective of how she sees life or probably learn from her regrets after she must hv lost 1,2 maybe 3 lovers because of dsame act.

I think she needs someone that can talk to her, convincingly, probably an elderly lady she admires. Letting her know the world that we are in n wat is required as a young lady without changing her perspective for religion.

some nairalanders can be funny sha. op, I can relate to what you mean. your sister is good, kind hearted, average looking all those normal qualities some village girls have(sorry).but she's not current, as in she's living in the past. she doesn't dress, carries herself the way a normal average of the 21st century lady does. no make up, she might be horrible in lovemaking, doesn't like all these modern trends, to crown it all she's boring. some people are like that due to lack of exposure or one thing or the other. a person needs to admit that something is wrong with him/her before seeking for help. first thing you have to do is try to convince her that her style of living is backwards(its like using black &white t.v when everybody is using smart TVs now), try and make her see reasons with you. tell that she's good, but she needs to step up a bit. it won't stop her from being a prayer warrior. those female ushers in church are a wonder to behold, so she also be one. just make her see reasons with you and if she doesn't, then leave and keep praying for her.

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those of u saying maybe because she grows up with her grandmother that is y,no no that is not it,it is just her personality and her nature,i live and grow up with my grandma but when it comes to wearing good clothes that it's in me from birth i just like quality material rhings,i could do anything to get material things,though am a man, so it just her nature,nothing else, op u can pass her to me since i grow up with my grandma too we will know how to care for each other,

She is an Old Soul (Bigfrancis21, Ishilove et al NL 2016).

Ajusshi:
Exactly. I wonder if the bf did not notice these before going for her.. He too need to change.

Sometimes we see people's true colours but think we have the ability to repaint them into a shade of our choice. It's so wrong

DRISKLEF:
Just negodu.

Hope she forks like an oldie too.

If they say where is a foolish senseless goat. who needs to look further. U need a meadal for most stewpid comment.

Dis d type of lady I want to marry,act and behave like old woman not all dis hobey hobey ladies outside dere pls guy connect me with dis ur cousin abeg.

I just wonder what many parents generally teach their children...how to read books, go to school and church but not needed life skills! A girl who doesn't know how to dress is 'doing hersef!' when those thin-legged gehs outside there catch her bobo she wee understand.
Life is all about balance, balance on a knife-edge. Don't be bad-bad and don't be holier-than-thou. It's just that difficult-to-explain point between the two.
I guess the girl wouldn't shave her personal areas regularly too. Won't baff twice a day like those 'wassup' girls do?
Remember the popular Nigerian preacher that found his secretary irresistible (even with all the annointing)?
I pity her sha, she will soon understand whatsup

u nid to tell us every fin so dt we shld kw the angle we will advice u frm

I believe once she is married, it's going to be her husband and children that would be enjoying all the love. That just her own way of life, live your life and no chook eye for another man life. It could be possible she is seeing you as someone living the funny life.

[s]

Brightgem:
If they say where is a foolish senseless goat. who needs to look further. U need a meadal for most stewpid comment.

[/s] Well you've made your stupid, whorish self noticed, babes.

Out my sight. This way. -->

DRISKLEF:
[s][/s] Well you've made your stupid, depraved self noticed, babes.

Out my sight. This way. -->

kikikikikkki quit the english u are already depraved of all sense. Get someone to give you their spare, you can start from there.

Brightgem:
kikikikikkki quit the english u are already depraved of all sense. Get someone to give you their spare, you can start from there.

Them send you come abii?

Sitting her down and talking to her is not the solution that's why it hasn't worked.

My question, what alternative did you present to her? You want her to change, change to what?

Make una take the young lady shopping and get her some new decent clothes. The trendy type that still doesn't expose her body unnecessarily. Then take her to a good salon to make her hair.

Make her compare the new looks with the usual one and let her choose which is better.

No be mouth O na action.

She need to help her self first by understanding that she need to change her attitude. she need to change environment, change class and associates. She need to be schooled on how to do it in a better way. that's my take on this.

Mustay:



To each his own really. One man's dog is another man's rabies. I don't see the hypocrisy here. Some people like these qualities you listed depending on the age though. Truth is, if he doesn't like these qualities, let them just be x and y apart else, trying to change a decade of behaviours may just bring out the beast out of the beauty.

"So take me, as I am. Or have nothing at all. . ."

Well said.

honiepie7:
same question on my mind

I hope you find your answers, which side are you on the story? Are you also like my cousin? I hope you find your answers too.

Tynasparks:
She needs therapy

Are there therapist here in Nigeria for real? I only see them in movies.

free2ryhme:


you will be making the greatest mistake of her life if you change her.

what happens when the so called boyfriend dumps her who will be there to accept her?

if the so called boyfriend will not accept her the way she is then he was not meant for her

he is trying to change her to suit his own selfish gains.

Her husband will accept her the way she is

So we should leave her that way. What if the same thing happens with next guy she meets.

Is there anything wrong in making her spice up herself. That's not total change.

Moderation:
Take it or leave it ; the truth is that the young man is not meant for her and the worst mistake you or anyone will do is to encourage such relationship. The lady should be advised to back out of such relationship because they are not meant to be for life. God will give her her own Man who will take and accept her just the way she is. And that is the only way she can enjoy complete love.

I don't accept that they are not meant for each other. The guy is the best for her and I know how much they love each other. There is always room for improvement. I don't think we should use the excuse of incompatibility or lack of God's will over Avenue for changes.

It's not like she is converting from her religion, only to look good for her guy.

Ajusshi:
Please let her be. Someone with more understanding will come to appreciate her one day. Love is not changing someone, it's understanding and acceptance. My wife was not the trendest babe when i met her, but she is envied today. If the said bf truly loves her, he will not try to alter her core Xter, but rather build on her uniqueness, gradually of course. I think i have said enough. Jah bless her motherly soul.

Of course he is trying to build on her uniqueness. The guy is not asking for too much now. He is just asking for her to look good.

Based on your story, I would like to ask, what eventually made your wife to be envied?

[size=20pt]OP, GIVE ME HER CONTACT... I WILL REPLACE that idiot you call her boyfriend and to be honest, you are not a good relative of her.[/size]

Ranchhoddas:
She is an Old Soul (Bigfrancis21, Ishilove et al NL 2016).

Lol

iaminspired:



You just spoke about my gf, am having the same issues, I don't wanna break up with her because personally God spoke about her to me. Ties wrapper. Too spiritual, speaks this conk local dialect that she has to explain it to me. In general she z acts like someone who z older than her age. She equally stood with her grandma

The simple solution z has the guy confirmed if she z actually God-sent.

One rule about relationships z compromise. One of them needs to compromise for the other to keep the relationship going. Let him love her the way she z, or let him teach her to change in love and meekness

When you love someone no matter the bad side the love will keep growing

Am glad you can relate to this. It's because of the love that the guy is still giving room for growth. I know if he wanted to dump my cousin, he would have done it. I just hope she can change o. Because the two of them are very precious to me.

Maybe she Reincarnated

FlordFlorez:
She neva chop beta bancu. Wen she does, she ko dey porch.

What's bancu?

she needs a change of environment

accountbalance:


Are there therapist here in Nigeria for real? I only see them in movies.

ask a friend to ask another friend... There should be therapists in nigeria... I dont know of any...

babat89:
I just wonder what many parents generally teach their children...how to read books, go to school and church but not needed life skills! A girl who doesn't know how to dress is 'doing hersef!' when those thin-legged gehs outside there catch her bobo she wee understand.
Life is all about balance, balance on a knife-edge. Don't be bad-bad and don't be holier-than-thou. It's just that difficult-to-explain point between the two.
I guess the girl wouldn't shave her personal areas regularly too. Won't baff twice a day like those 'wassup' girls do?
Remember the popular Nigerian preacher that found his secretary irresistible (even with all the annointing)?
I pity her sha, she will soon understand whatsup

Grandma practically raised her.

sorry but is ur grand ma dead?...if she is...hope she hasn't reincarnated into d gul...cauz u said she stayed with ur grand ma...take her 2 a pastor....but if not and ur grand ma ain't dead...make her c her faults and help correct it...

She doesn't ve a problem must we all dress like ashawo kobo kobo? If that guy truly love her, he won't be saying rubish. You cannot change her personality. When a woman dresses so suggestive, she attracts public eyes. Infact that's my type of woman cos she will be mature in the brain not in appearance