Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by mhisbliss(f): 3:03pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
Abusive relationships can be physical, emotional, or both. They're very difficult to get out of, often because the abuser has controlled and brainwashed the victim to feel powerless.
Abusive relationships don't always mean a man abusing a woman. There are plenty of unstable and abusive women out there, as well. Abusive girlfriends and wives are underreported because some of the male victims are too ashamed to report it.
Please don't believe that you are not being abused just because your abuser has never hit you. Insulting you, constantly finding fault with you, and correcting you in public or private are all abusive behaviors designed to destroy your self-confidence and maintain control over you. You don't know that it won't escalate into physical violence.
Many victims think nobody will believe they're being abused because in public the abuser is sweet and charming in public, the police, a doctor, or a counselor will believe you because they see it all the time.
The most important thing to remember is that it's not your fault. Abusers are expert manipulators. They know that everyone has insecurities and they use use those insecurities against you. Abusers can convince you that you don't deserve better treatment or that they are treating you this way to "help" you.
10 warning signs to look for to avoid an abusive relationship or get out of one.
1. Declaring love for you on your first date Love at first sight may sound romantic, but someone who's totally in love on the first date usually become dangerous later on. Emotionally stable people take time to get to know you. Abusers are trying to sweep you off your feet before you have a chance to evaluate them.
2. Cutting you off from friends and family This can happen so slowly that you almost don't notice it. An abuser knows that friends and family aren't as emotionally invested in this relationship as you are and will try to talk you out of it. The objective is to make you feel alone and dependent on your abuser. He makes excuse always whenever theres something involving the gathering of friends or family such as family get together, end of the year parties, because when you goto such gatherings they might ask you about your marriage and you might say something.
3. Tracking your every move and behaving like he owns you. Your privacy will be eroded little by little. The abuser reads your email, checks your phone, goes through your drawers, handbag, wallet and pockets. An abuser calls you constantly when you are not home, "just checking in." If you are not living together, an abuser will drive by your house at all hours or "just stop by" several times. Woe to you if you're out of reach or are having lunch with a friend. You are not even allowed to hangout in public its like they own you.
4. Threatening suicide This is an old trick abusers use to keep you in line. Abusers value themselves way too highly to let you go that easily. They are very good at faking suicide by nicking the veins just enough or taking just enough pills to scare you into obedience.
5. Inflicting pain This is what most abusers do, most Nigerian men beat thier wives. Hitting, pushing, pinching, or squeezing you, usually leaving marks than clothes can cover, is just the beginning. This is to let you know who's boss. It's one of the biggest warning signs that you should get out. If you put up with it, your abuser will become confident that you are not going to report bigger things. The more the abuser gets away with, the more violence will escalate.
6. Blaming you for everything Everything that goes wrong, in or out of the relationship, is because of you. Abusers all use a variant of the same old line: "I wouldn't have to do this if you didn't provoke me into it." It's amazing how many abuse victims believe this, making excuses for the abuser, such as "he really loves me" or "he just wants to help me improve myself."
7. Always "forgiving" you After abusing you, and especially after escalating the abuse, your abuser is sweet and light, full of tears, apologies, gifts, special dinners or a night out, self-recrimination, swearing to do better and telling you how much he loves you and how it will never happen again. This is one of the abuser's most effective manipulations. Abusers are very good actors, some of them going as far as swearing to seek help. You're going to wait a long time for that to happen.
8. Throwing tantrums These are not only designed to scare you, but an abuser really does have anger issues. Don't feel that you need to "help" an abuser get over this because you can't. These people need more help than you are qualified to provide.
9. Controlling your finances An abuser insists that you quit your job, talks you into a joint checking account, or into closing your bank accounts and credit cards because "he will take care of you." An abuser insists on knowing how to access your accounts. He gives you an allowance, as if you were a child. This is all part of making sure that you can't afford to leave.
10. Threatening your children If an abuser threatens your children in any way, or even implies a threat, you must get you and your kids out. Don't tell yourself that he doesn't really mean it.
Don't wait to leave because you're still in love. Those feelings are going to cling, sometimes no matter how badly you were abused. You're going to hang on to the memories of the good times before the abuse started. But, staying in this relationship is going to kill you, one way or another. It will never be the way it was "before."
Cc lalasticlala, farano, Mynd44 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by Countrygirl(f): 3:13pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
Double post |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by Countrygirl(f): 3:14pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
Emotional blackmail/abuse is worse compared to physical IMO
Nice one OP 1 Like |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by mhisbliss(f): 3:16pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
Countrygirl: Emotional blackmail/abuse is worse compared to physical IMO both are bad, i wrote this because of what happened last night between a couple whos flat is next to ours, the man locked his door and was flogging the woman, she was screaming loudly she woke the whole neighbors up, all our begging the man wouldn't listen, if you see that woman this morning ehn, domestic violence is very bad |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by Countrygirl(f): 3:18pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
mhisbliss: both are bad, i wrote this because of what happened last night between a couple whos flat is next to ours, the man locked his door and was flogging the woman, she was screaming loudly she woke the whole neighbors up, all our begging the man wouldn't listen, if you see that woman this morning ehn, domestic violence is very bad I agree with you 1 Like |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by EmperorLee(m): 3:19pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
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Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by songzDaniel01(m): 3:24pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
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Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by womanlover: 3:34pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
Op i see your picture yesterday its well |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by Nobody: 3:56pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
Emotional abuse is WAY worse than physical abuse. |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by lola024(f): 6:36am On Aug 27, 2016 |
So bad....Emotional abuse is so deadly..... i 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by Theresa1990: 6:57am On Aug 27, 2016 |
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Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by IamLEGEND1: 7:22am On Aug 27, 2016 |
I dey come back to read am later. |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by Nobody: 7:25am On Aug 27, 2016 |
mhisbliss: Abusive relationships can be physical, emotional, or both. They're very difficult to get out of, often because the abuser has controlled and brainwashed the victim to feel powerless.
Abusive relationships don't always mean a man abusing a woman. There are plenty of unstable and abusive women out there, as well. Abusive girlfriends and wives are underreported because some of the male victims are too ashamed to report it.
Please don't believe that you are not being abused just because your abuser has never hit you. Insulting you, constantly finding fault with you, and correcting you in public or private are all abusive behaviors designed to destroy your self-confidence and maintain control over you. You don't know that it won't escalate into physical violence.
Many victims think nobody will believe they're being abused because in public the abuser is sweet and charming in public, the police, a doctor, or a counselor will believe you because they see it all the time.
The most important thing to remember is that it's not your fault. Abusers are expert manipulators. They know that everyone has insecurities and they use use those insecurities against you. Abusers can convince you that you don't deserve better treatment or that they are treating you this way to "help" you.
10 warning signs to look for to avoid an abusive relationship or get out of one.
1. Declaring love for you on your first date Love at first sight may sound romantic, but someone who's totally in love on the first date usually become dangerous later on. Emotionally stable people take time to get to know you. Abusers are trying to sweep you off your feet before you have a chance to evaluate them.
2. Cutting you off from friends and family This can happen so slowly that you almost don't notice it. An abuser knows that friends and family aren't as emotionally invested in this relationship as you are and will try to talk you out of it. The objective is to make you feel alone and dependent on your abuser. He makes excuse always whenever theres something involving the gathering of friends or family such as family get together, end of the year parties, because when you goto such gatherings they might ask you about your marriage and you might say something.
3. Tracking your every move and behaving like he owns you. Your privacy will be eroded little by little. The abuser reads your email, checks your phone, goes through your drawers, handbag, wallet and pockets. An abuser calls you constantly when you are not home, "just checking in." If you are not living together, an abuser will drive by your house at all hours or "just stop by" several times. Woe to you if you're out of reach or are having lunch with a friend. You are not even allowed to hangout in public its like they own you.
4. Threatening suicide This is an old trick abusers use to keep you in line. Abusers value themselves way too highly to let you go that easily. They are very good at faking suicide by nicking the veins just enough or taking just enough pills to scare you into obedience.
5. Inflicting pain This is what most abusers do, most Nigerian men beat thier wives. Hitting, pushing, pinching, or squeezing you, usually leaving marks than clothes can cover, is just the beginning. This is to let you know who's boss. It's one of the biggest warning signs that you should get out. If you put up with it, your abuser will become confident that you are not going to report bigger things. The more the abuser gets away with, the more violence will escalate.
6. Blaming you for everything Everything that goes wrong, in or out of the relationship, is because of you. Abusers all use a variant of the same old line: "I wouldn't have to do this if you didn't provoke me into it." It's amazing how many abuse victims believe this, making excuses for the abuser, such as "he really loves me" or "he just wants to help me improve myself."
7. Always "forgiving" you After abusing you, and especially after escalating the abuse, your abuser is sweet and light, full of tears, apologies, gifts, special dinners or a night out, self-recrimination, swearing to do better and telling you how much he loves you and how it will never happen again. This is one of the abuser's most effective manipulations. Abusers are very good actors, some of them going as far as swearing to seek help. You're going to wait a long time for that to happen.
8. Throwing tantrums These are not only designed to scare you, but an abuser really does have anger issues. Don't feel that you need to "help" an abuser get over this because you can't. These people need more help than you are qualified to provide.
9. Controlling your finances An abuser insists that you quit your job, talks you into a joint checking account, or into closing your bank accounts and credit cards because "he will take care of you." An abuser insists on knowing how to access your accounts. He gives you an allowance, as if you were a child. This is all part of making sure that you can't afford to leave.
10. Threatening your children If an abuser threatens your children in any way, or even implies a threat, you must get you and your kids out. Don't tell yourself that he doesn't really mean it.
Don't wait to leave because you're still in love. Those feelings are going to cling, sometimes no matter how badly you were abused. You're going to hang on to the memories of the good times before the abuse started. But, staying in this relationship is going to kill you, one way or another. It will never be the way it was "before."
Cc lalasticlala, farano, Mynd44 |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by Nobody: 7:34am On Aug 27, 2016 |
The cause of an abusive relationship is definitely the cause of the victim why?..... because the abuser knows that the victim cant leave the relationship or has giving so much power and authority to the abuser by being solely dependent on the abuser 2 Likes |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by gunpoint(m): 7:02am On Aug 28, 2016 |
lola024: So bad....Emotional abuse is so deadly..... i LadyMercedes: Emotional abuse is WAY worse than physical abuse. Countrygirl: Emotional blackmail/abuse is worse compared to physical IMO Nice one OP Why do ya'll say emotional abuse is worse? Physical abuse frequently leads to death How can emotional abuse be worse? 2 Likes |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by Nobody: 9:52am On Aug 28, 2016 |
emotional abuse is deadly.... they start from emotional abuse to physical abuse and they are very manipulative. |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by OluwabuqqyYOLO(m): 10:58am On Aug 28, 2016 |
See girls and wahala. How many of you would prefer being emotionally abused to being physically abused Sometimes, ladies awe me. Physical abuse is the worst thing on earth. Pretenders everywhere 3 Likes |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by aloobright17: 10:58am On Aug 28, 2016 |
I will comment after service 1 Like |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by bonboclat: 11:17am On Aug 28, 2016 |
Pls whats d best way to handle abusive relationship |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by MrCork: 11:19am On Aug 28, 2016 |
mhisbliss: Abusive relationships can be physical, emotional, or both. They're very difficult to get out of, often because the abuser has controlled and brainwashed the victim to feel powerless.
Abusive relationships don't always mean a man abusing a woman. There are plenty of unstable and abusive women out there, as well. Abusive girlfriends and wives are underreported because some of the male victims are too ashamed to report it.
Please don't believe that you are not being abused just because your abuser has never hit you. Insulting you, constantly finding fault with you, and correcting you in public or private are all abusive behaviors designed to destroy your self-confidence and maintain control over you. You don't know that it won't escalate into physical violence.
Many victims think nobody will believe they're being abused because in public the abuser is sweet and charming in public, the police, a doctor, or a counselor will believe you because they see it all the time.
The most important thing to remember is that it's not your fault. Abusers are expert manipulators. They know that everyone has insecurities and they use use those insecurities against you. Abusers can convince you that you don't deserve better treatment or that they are treating you this way to "help" you.
10 warning signs to look for to avoid an abusive relationship or get out of one.
1. Declaring love for you on your first date Love at first sight may sound romantic, but someone who's totally in love on the first date usually become dangerous later on. Emotionally stable people take time to get to know you. Abusers are trying to sweep you off your feet before you have a chance to evaluate them.
2. Cutting you off from friends and family This can happen so slowly that you almost don't notice it. An abuser knows that friends and family aren't as emotionally invested in this relationship as you are and will try to talk you out of it. The objective is to make you feel alone and dependent on your abuser. He makes excuse always whenever theres something involving the gathering of friends or family such as family get together, end of the year parties, because when you goto such gatherings they might ask you about your marriage and you might say something.
3. Tracking your every move and behaving like he owns you. Your privacy will be eroded little by little. The abuser reads your email, checks your phone, goes through your drawers, handbag, wallet and pockets. An abuser calls you constantly when you are not home, "just checking in." If you are not living together, an abuser will drive by your house at all hours or "just stop by" several times. Woe to you if you're out of reach or are having lunch with a friend. You are not even allowed to hangout in public its like they own you.
4. Threatening suicide This is an old trick abusers use to keep you in line. Abusers value themselves way too highly to let you go that easily. They are very good at faking suicide by nicking the veins just enough or taking just enough pills to scare you into obedience.
5. Inflicting pain This is what most abusers do, most Nigerian men beat thier wives. Hitting, pushing, pinching, or squeezing you, usually leaving marks than clothes can cover, is just the beginning. This is to let you know who's boss. It's one of the biggest warning signs that you should get out. If you put up with it, your abuser will become confident that you are not going to report bigger things. The more the abuser gets away with, the more violence will escalate.
6. Blaming you for everything Everything that goes wrong, in or out of the relationship, is because of you. Abusers all use a variant of the same old line: "I wouldn't have to do this if you didn't provoke me into it." It's amazing how many abuse victims believe this, making excuses for the abuser, such as "he really loves me" or "he just wants to help me improve myself."
7. Always "forgiving" you After abusing you, and especially after escalating the abuse, your abuser is sweet and light, full of tears, apologies, gifts, special dinners or a night out, self-recrimination, swearing to do better and telling you how much he loves you and how it will never happen again. This is one of the abuser's most effective manipulations. Abusers are very good actors, some of them going as far as swearing to seek help. You're going to wait a long time for that to happen.
8. Throwing tantrums These are not only designed to scare you, but an abuser really does have anger issues. Don't feel that you need to "help" an abuser get over this because you can't. These people need more help than you are qualified to provide.
9. Controlling your finances An abuser insists that you quit your job, talks you into a joint checking account, or into closing your bank accounts and credit cards because "he will take care of you." An abuser insists on knowing how to access your accounts. He gives you an allowance, as if you were a child. This is all part of making sure that you can't afford to leave.
10. Threatening your children If an abuser threatens your children in any way, or even implies a threat, you must get you and your kids out. Don't tell yourself that he doesn't really mean it.
Don't wait to leave because you're still in love. Those feelings are going to cling, sometimes no matter how badly you were abused. You're going to hang on to the memories of the good times before the abuse started. But, staying in this relationship is going to kill you, one way or another. It will never be the way it was "before."
|
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by MrCork: 11:22am On Aug 28, 2016 |
mhisbliss: Abusive relationships can be physical, emotional, or both. They're very difficult to get out of, often because the abuser has controlled and brainwashed the victim to feel powerless.
Abusive relationships don't always mean a man abusing a woman. There are plenty of unstable and abusive women out there, as well. Abusive girlfriends and wives are underreported because some of the male victims are too ashamed to report it.
Please don't believe that you are not being abused just because your abuser has never hit you. Insulting you, constantly finding fault with you, and correcting you in public or private are all abusive behaviors designed to destroy your self-confidence and maintain control over you. You don't know that it won't escalate into physical violence.
Many victims think nobody will believe they're being abused because in public the abuser is sweet and charming in public, the police, a doctor, or a counselor will believe you because they see it all the time.
The most important thing to remember is that it's not your fault. Abusers are expert manipulators. They know that everyone has insecurities and they use use those insecurities against you. Abusers can convince you that you don't deserve better treatment or that they are treating you this way to "help" you.
10 warning signs to look for to avoid an abusive relationship or get out of one.
1. Declaring love for you on your first date Love at first sight may sound romantic, but someone who's totally in love on the first date usually become dangerous later on. Emotionally stable people take time to get to know you. Abusers are trying to sweep you off your feet before you have a chance to evaluate them.
2. Cutting you off from friends and family This can happen so slowly that you almost don't notice it. An abuser knows that friends and family aren't as emotionally invested in this relationship as you are and will try to talk you out of it. The objective is to make you feel alone and dependent on your abuser. He makes excuse always whenever theres something involving the gathering of friends or family such as family get together, end of the year parties, because when you goto such gatherings they might ask you about your marriage and you might say something.
3. Tracking your every move and behaving like he owns you. Your privacy will be eroded little by little. The abuser reads your email, checks your phone, goes through your drawers, handbag, wallet and pockets. An abuser calls you constantly when you are not home, "just checking in." If you are not living together, an abuser will drive by your house at all hours or "just stop by" several times. Woe to you if you're out of reach or are having lunch with a friend. You are not even allowed to hangout in public its like they own you.
4. Threatening suicide This is an old trick abusers use to keep you in line. Abusers value themselves way too highly to let you go that easily. They are very good at faking suicide by nicking the veins just enough or taking just enough pills to scare you into obedience.
5. Inflicting pain This is what most abusers do, most Nigerian men beat thier wives. Hitting, pushing, pinching, or squeezing you, usually leaving marks than clothes can cover, is just the beginning. This is to let you know who's boss. It's one of the biggest warning signs that you should get out. If you put up with it, your abuser will become confident that you are not going to report bigger things. The more the abuser gets away with, the more violence will escalate.
6. Blaming you for everything Everything that goes wrong, in or out of the relationship, is because of you. Abusers all use a variant of the same old line: "I wouldn't have to do this if you didn't provoke me into it." It's amazing how many abuse victims believe this, making excuses for the abuser, such as "he really loves me" or "he just wants to help me improve myself."
7. Always "forgiving" you After abusing you, and especially after escalating the abuse, your abuser is sweet and light, full of tears, apologies, gifts, special dinners or a night out, self-recrimination, swearing to do better and telling you how much he loves you and how it will never happen again. This is one of the abuser's most effective manipulations. Abusers are very good actors, some of them going as far as swearing to seek help. You're going to wait a long time for that to happen.
8. Throwing tantrums These are not only designed to scare you, but an abuser really does have anger issues. Don't feel that you need to "help" an abuser get over this because you can't. These people need more help than you are qualified to provide.
9. Controlling your finances An abuser insists that you quit your job, talks you into a joint checking account, or into closing your bank accounts and credit cards because "he will take care of you." An abuser insists on knowing how to access your accounts. He gives you an allowance, as if you were a child. This is all part of making sure that you can't afford to leave.
10. Threatening your children If an abuser threatens your children in any way, or even implies a threat, you must get you and your kids out. Don't tell yourself that he doesn't really mean it.
Don't wait to leave because you're still in love. Those feelings are going to cling, sometimes no matter how badly you were abused. You're going to hang on to the memories of the good times before the abuse started. But, staying in this relationship is going to kill you, one way or another. It will never be the way it was "before."
..we r confuse about yor thread...so u telln women to keep cheaatin on men becozz u nid independense..corrrrect? |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by MrWhaley: 11:24am On Aug 28, 2016 |
There is always one 'idiot' that will quote the whole post. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by gunpoint(m): 12:01pm On Aug 28, 2016 |
OluwabuqqyYOLO: See girls and wahala. How many of you would prefer being emotionally abused to being physically abused Sometimes, ladies awe me. Physical abuse is the worst thing on earth.
Pretenders everywhere Your smile tho Killa |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by MrCork: 12:47pm On Aug 28, 2016 |
gunpoint:
Your smile tho Killa ..OluwabuqqyYOLO??...bro do u need smeye drop?(no oofense) |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by gunpoint(m): 1:03pm On Aug 28, 2016 |
MrCork:
..OluwabuqqyYOLO??...bro do u need smeye drop?(no oofense) I no dey hear pigin inglish |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by OluwabuqqyYOLO(m): 1:07pm On Aug 28, 2016 |
gunpoint:
Your smile tho
Killa
Thank you. |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by MrCork: 1:10pm On Aug 28, 2016 |
OluwabuqqyYOLO:
Thank you. ...sweery, that boy need eye checkup!!! (no oofense) |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by MrCork: 1:12pm On Aug 28, 2016 |
gunpoint:
I no dey hear pigin inglish ...so u sayn OluwabuqqyYOLO looooklke Beyansi?...we beg u..go for immmmediaate eye checkkup!! (no ofeinse) |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by OluwabuqqyYOLO(m): 1:13pm On Aug 28, 2016 |
MrCork:
...sweery, that boy need eye checkup!!! (no oofense) Maybe you can just buy him glasses. |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by MrCork: 1:20pm On Aug 28, 2016 |
OluwabuqqyYOLO:
Maybe you can just buy him glasses. ...Ssweeery but why is that young boy givin u compliment when he cant aford u?....were he gonna get moiney from..sellin petrol, Arm rrobbbbery? |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by MrCork: 1:21pm On Aug 28, 2016 |
gunpoint:
I no dey hear pigin inglish ...bro, OluwabuqqyYOLO juss said I shold buy u glassses coz u cant aforddddit...the chick juss insult u! (no ofeinse) |
Re: Abusive Relationships And How To Know You're In One by OluwabuqqyYOLO(m): 1:29pm On Aug 28, 2016 |
MrCork:
...Ssweeery but why is that young boy givin u compliment when he cant aford u?....were he gonna get moiney from..sellin petrol, Arm rrobbbbery? Mrcork, how do you know? |