LyfeJennings:


O ti ya were
Don't marry
Siddon there make bridge pass U
Look hun, 90% of married men cheat
Not like I support it but then this woman's gotta keep her home. If she like make she vex commot house
Another woman go enter and do better than U
Let her be prayerful
Someday God will change the man

Teespice:
according to toks2008, he said that you should keep forgiving your husband till he's tired of the union and he walks out.

so dearest op, keep forgiving him.

Perfectionist11:
The saddest thing ain't d cheating..but the fact that he repeatedly get caught.. i.e he doesn't put much effort into covering it(meaning he doesn't regret it nor respect ya/value your feelings/he thinks you're com4table wt it)...I think this is a self esteem issue..no offense but a woman with a high self esteem would have done something bigger than typing this shit on NL..after 5 years

If you aren't tied 2 him & he isn't th 1 sponsoring your own family..I don't see the reason why you should continue to take this lying down...moreover..your we'll being could be @ stake due to STDs.

AfroKnight:


sometimes Toks can give weird advice sha

napa:
@5minsmadness, there are no kids yet, sex life is ok and both of us know I'm good looking because he knows i still get constant compliments for my good looks. I sincerely don't know what the issue is. I just feel he wants to explore and satisfy some fantasies but I'm getting emotionally hurt. I pity myself most times. It's only my mom that knows what is happening and she's been praying with me. I'm a woman of few words, i hardly discuss my affairs with people.
@veave, no he doesn't beat me. There's no reason why he would do that. Our marriage is really somehow (i don't know if that's how other marriages are). I rarely ask him for money because i work in a well paid organisation, i don't disturb him for nothing. All i want is care and love, nothing more.

I'm from an average family of 3 children , he doesn't have any pressure from any members of my family and i definitely know it's not about the children that have not come, we've been on it from the first year of our marriage. This is really getting at me. I just felt like pouring out my mind.

montezz:

That dude is so high tonight.

montezz:

Ahh! Smh. Ako Igbona n da yin laamu ma.

Maxvasia:
Very sad indeed. And you are supposed to be wife to an unfortunate man bah? Well no hard feelings but u just showed urself. Its obvious u will end up like her or even worse. Its not far fetched. Your mouth will spoil whatever marriage u enter till u learn to know ur mate. No problem, talk away, its ur time. Reality waits for you in front.

ladyF:
Na wa o.... stories like this make me consider if I really need a man in my life.

Toks2008:


You can date based on feelings but when it comes to marriage..it's a different ball game.

Getting married could be a jamboree but staying married is the real deal.

Staying married is a concious decision you must make.

Onegai:
Napa, you're not going to get decent answers from Nairaland. Not anymore. The sensible people have left and others will just avoid this thread. You cannot pray this away, you cannot help someone who does not want to be helped. If you like, delete all his numbers and block his social media sites, what stops him from getting a hidden phone (a woman came here and told us her husband advanced to that level), what stops him opening an anonymous account (another came here and said the same). He knows what he's doing is wrong, that's why he apologises. Sure, someone he respects can talk to him, but one of my former friends got some serious speaking to, told me he didn't want to spoil a good thing in his marriage and was remorseful. Then he hit on me that afternoon. And then he hit on another coworker a few months later.

You need to ask yourself what you believe in, what you can accept and what is the line for you. All I will tell you is this: if you have kids, the more they grow up and understand their father, the more it is going to affect them negatively. Trust me. Trust me on that. Our society is broken and filled with children who saw their fathers lie, cheat, take no personal responsibility, be immoral yet hypocritical about "training them" and now to find an honest person in Nigeria to even do business with is like searching for a needle in a haystack. The only person that can stop him is himself. He has to make a life-changing decision. You also have to make a life-changing decision: do you stay, do you leave, do you focus on everything else except him?

vicadex07:


I am exactly like your husband but not as careless as to getting caught severally.

It is just the thrill in the "chase" that engages me. I love and adore my wife and will never do anything to hurt her...especially fathering another child outside.

See let me tell you this, this behavior is innate to all men by default. It now depends on how we choose to manage it individually. Our immediate fore fathers dealt this "natural urge" by marrying as many wives as possible to satisfy themselves. The modern man is struggling with this innate urge because we have decided to settle with just one woman cos of religion and civilization. It is a constant struggle within us because we are dealing with the natural forces of nature which can be so overwhelming.

Am saying all these so you can understand things from our perspective and to make you know your husband is not trying to deliberately hurt you.

With time, patience and prayers this phase is going to pass and believe me, you're going to enjoy your husband because he will appreciate you.

Ibj50:
onegai, nice one.. Your moniker sounds familiar, are you into japanese animes?#justcurious

napa:


Thanks. I am indeed getting really tired. I just feel if I were some wild girls he won't try what he's been doing. Love is getting a bit cold. I hope I will be able to put up with this longer

vicadex07:


I am exactly like your husband but not as careless as to getting caught severally.

It is just the thrill in the "chase" that engages me. I love and adore my wife and will never do anything to hurt her...especially fathering another child outside.

See let me tell you this, this behavior is innate to all men by default. It now depends on how we choose to manage it individually. Our immediate fore fathers dealt this "natural urge" by marrying as many wives as possible to satisfy themselves. The modern man is struggling with this innate urge because we have decided to settle with just one woman cos of religion and civilization. It is a constant struggle within us because we are dealing with the natural forces of nature which can be so overwhelming.

Am saying all these so you can understand things from our perspective and to make you know your husband is not trying to deliberately hurt you.

With time, patience and prayers this phase is going to pass and believe me, you're going to enjoy your husband because he will appreciate you.

napa:
We've been married for five years and he has cheated all through these years. He keeps late nights without any tangible reason. He travels in and out of Nigeria for the purpose of meeting different women, he chats dirty with different women. He calls random women at home e.t.c. He is also very quick to apologise and promise to turn a new leaf anytime I confront him with evidences.
The issue here is I'm getting really fed up of his kind of life style, I feel he is taking me for granted and just playing on my emotions because he knows there is nothing I can do after his apologies. He too relaxed with me and feels he can do anything and get away with it. I work and he does too but he knows I live a triangular kind of life. From work back home then to church, I'm more of a homely person. I'm beginning to think it's my fault for him not getting on his toes. I don't intend reporting him to any of his family members because he won't be chastised.

I need candid and matured advice please.

AfroKnight:

sometimes Toks can give weird advice sha

napa:
We've been married for five years and he has cheated all through these years. He keeps late nights without any tangible reason. He travels in and out of Nigeria for the purpose of meeting different women, he chats dirty with different women. He calls random women at home e.t.c. He is also very quick to apologise and promise to turn a new leaf anytime I confront him with evidences.
The issue here is I'm getting really fed up of his kind of life style, I feel he is taking me for granted and just playing on my emotions because he knows there is nothing I can do after his apologies. He too relaxed with me and feels he can do anything and get away with it. I work and he does too but he knows I live a triangular kind of life. From work back home then to church, I'm more of a homely person. I'm beginning to think it's my fault for him not getting on his toes. I don't intend reporting him to any of his family members because he won't be chastised.

I need candid and matured advice please.

ItsQuinn:
even though the marriage doesn't make you happy? then thats bondage don't you think

Toks2008:


It's better one remains single because marriage is more than a feeling but a vivid decision to stay in there except for life threatening reasons such as physical assault.

By the way I just checked your dp..are you the one there?

CaraJewel:
Wht if ur wife is like you?wat if shez getting that'natural urge' and keeps cheating and be careful jxt like you..den wat

Dyt:
Napa
Stay
The intelligent and most sensible ones have said it
Stay
Pray
Fast
Wear red lingerie
Do pole dancing
Wear costume
These are the things he's seeing outside
Do you give bj?
Do you swallow?
Give your anuus
Let him explore
Be a good wife
Cook
Clean

What else haven't I added ooo

Will think and then add more

Richy4:


That is not true sir I beg to disagree... By saying that, you are giving marriage a new meaning. the fact that you cheat does not mean all men does it or have the tendencies to do it....Maybe you drew your conclusion based on the kind of men you hang out or roll with....

vicadex07:


lmao... I will leave you with a simple quote...

A key that can open any type of door is called a master key and its well cherished whilst a door that can be opened by just any key is useless and needs to be replaced ASAP.

Men and women are not equal... I hope you know...

ladyF:
Na wa o.... stories like this make me consider if I really need a man in my life.

vicadex07:



lmao... broaden the horizon of your understanding. Let's put religion and sentiments aside.

What is I decide not to cheat but marry as many wives as possible like Solomon?

sisisioge:


Baby, I was just about to call you so you could advise her correctly. Thank you!

I actually have no words for her...don't know what to say. However, I remember a story of a family. The story is really real...

The husband was a serial cheat who defiled all reasons and interventions. Guy eventually got aids. He infected the wife and all the kids! That part of the lineage is no more now. I wish he had listened or she had divorced him eventually. Oloshilawonokunrin...them be SOB!