I will say you shouldnt talk to him bout it...just get him addicted to another thing

jejemanito:
My 14 year old cousin stays with me and I just found out he has an assembly line of X videos dot com clips hidden in his phone.

Going by the way I was raised will mean the melodrama of confrontation which will only lead to him - after deleting the current ones - finding out better ways to hide the next batch he will download.

I know because I've been there

So I need a smarter way mostly bordering on a "psychological" approach

Any suggestions please

Cc: onegai ifyalways

Call him and give him the sex talk. Be frank and very honest. Then let him make his choices in life. He is at a stage were hormones are raging so don't use force or try to make him feel dirty or guilty.
If possible you can share some of your experiences with him. Good luck

NobleAngell:




If the above tips don't work, drag him to the nearest olumba olumba church for correct flogging.

my dear u need to go and beg God for forgiveness before u start experiencing what u cnt understand..

you don't make silly comment with d name of God!!

No worries, he'll likely graduate from his collection to be like 95% of men on the planet who also love s.ex. Second to owning dogs, porn has always been man's second best friend and before that it was prostitution, which is modern marriage rebranded.

Can we stop acting as if this world is anywhere close to being pure for any child? When it's normal that a child can be walking down a street and witness someone being burned alive or a rap.e victim lying dead in some gully, you've lost any ability to judge what anyone is seeing at this point, let alone be concerned with porn in someone's phone.

But try this OP, maybe it's not too late to remind him that what he's feeling is normal for his age:
Parents Explain Masturbation

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0vPqxSVaG4

Stories, look at your life first, 24 hours of our life our parents are not always with us so nasty tinz can be done. The truth is our children will always want to learn from the parents experiences but unless it's expressed appropriately. Such that even if they continue such lifestyle they'll try to stop it coz of wat u tink. They're smarter now, seizing gadgets won't help, they borrow fones. To me, wen ur son is teenager, talk to him the way you would have loved ur parents to talk to you den, forget the cultural aspect. That's what's affecting us. U can't stop him, but u can convince him to stop....and if you feel its by seizing stuffs, he'll always show u he's smarter

jejemanito:
My 14 year old cousin stays with me and I just found out he has an assembly line of X videos dot com clips hidden in his phone.

Going by the way I was raised will mean the melodrama of confrontation which will only lead to him - after deleting the current ones - finding out better ways to hide the next batch he will download.

I know because I've been there

So I need a smarter way mostly bordering on a "psychological" approach

Any suggestions please

Cc: onegai ifyalways

Call him and give him the sex talk. Be frank and very honest. Then let him make his choices in life. He is at a stage were hormones are raging so don't use force or try to make him feel dirty or guilty.
If possible you can share some of your experiences with him. Good luck

abeg allow the Young man to have his moment, 14yrs no be pikin for abroad... who go corrupt go corrupt , I watched bf when I was 10 and that does not change the person inside me

Lol...funny comments. Just tell him about channeling the energy to his education. Besides, it's time to educate him on sex.

It's simple. Seize his phone till he wants to write waec, make sure he doesn't sleep alone...thats the best u can do. Using porn to masturbate at his age is bad for his sex life

Elparaiso:
How does watching porn affect anyone?

Na question I ask abeg

Pornography creates emotional bond with artificial world that is to say, everybody has a critical need for human intimacy and emotional connection with others. When someone views pornography they end up creating an intimate bond wit an artificial, fake world and can actually lose the ability to bond with real people.


While pornography use may result in a short term high, it eventually results in feelings of emptiness, low self-esteem an deep loneliness. It ultimately creates emotional distance in relationships. Because the world of pornography is artificial and cannot satisfy the need for emotional intimacy, this basic need remains unmet, creating an appetite for more and more.


Also, studies show that actual brain function changes in someone who has an addiction – and the changes are the same in all addiction: alcohol, drugs, or pornography. Because pornography use can become an actual addiction, viewers are not able to stop through their own will power. Pornography addicts will need to engage i the same difficult recovery process a drug addict has to go through.


Using pornography to feel pleasure and escape feelings of low self-esteem, anxiety, boredom and frustration creates gateway for addiction. When the rush of pleasure disappears, the feelings a user i trying to escape from reappear stronger than ever, and they are compelled to repeat the cycle. Over time, their brain chemistry is altered and a full-fledged addiction occurs.

Initially, you were attracted to pornography because of the positive things it did for you. ("I love the rush I feel," "This is my favorite pastime," "I feel lonely," "This is m reward to myself for making it through a rough day..." Eventually, it will do just the opposite. ("I no longer feel an emotional response to anything," "There is nothing i my life I enjoy doing," "I feel totally isolate from the world," "My anxiety and stress levels are at an all-time high...".

With pornography, we use sex as a substitute for nurture, intimacy, and love. Sex is no longer a wonderful source of connection between our deepest selves and a beloved partner; it becomes a commodity used to avoid intimacy and mask needs that should be met through human co!
Because this is an addictive substance, it creates an appetite for itself. This appetite increases over time as you spend more and more time viewing pornography. The time spent viewing pornography can jeopardize work, relationships and interest in healthy pastimes.

Over time, the pornography we first started viewing becomes mundane. We escalate to view things which we once would have considered as going too far or totally wrong. We feel increasing desire to do things which will damage our reputation and relationships.

In the long run, pornography will not short up a shaky ego, will not fill the emptiness left from childhood wounds or abandonment, will not save a shaky relationship or failing marriage and is not satisfying. In fact, it will magnify each emotional wound from the past and cripple your ability to meet your essential emotional needs, damage your ability to have a healthy relationship and leave you unable to sexually or emotionally respond to your partner.



COPIED

jejemanito:
My 14 year old cousin stays with me and I just found out he has an assembly line of X videos dot com clips hidden in his phone.

Going by the way I was raised will mean the melodrama of confrontation which will only lead to him - after deleting the current ones - finding out better ways to hide the next batch he will download.

I know because I've been there

So I need a smarter way mostly bordering on a "psychological" approach

Any suggestions please

Cc: onegai ifyalways

Beat the hell out of him and then let him sleep. When he wakes up talk calmly with him

TarOrfeek:


okay you have an iPhone.
we done see you.

Hoo lee shiiit, i don't have an iphone but you Android fanboys are really the most insecure creatures ever. I traded iphone for Android but people like you make me sick

misano:




Pornography creates emotional bond with artificial world that is to say, everybody has a critical need for human intimacy and emotional connection with others. When someone views pornography they end up creating an intimate bond wit an artificial, fake world and can actually lose the ability to bond with real people.


While pornography use may result in a short term high, it eventually results in feelings of emptiness, low self-esteem an deep loneliness. It ultimately creates emotional distance in relationships. Because the world of pornography is artificial and cannot satisfy the need for emotional intimacy, this basic need remains unmet, creating an appetite for more and more.


Also, studies show that actual brain function changes in someone who has an addiction – and the changes are the same in all addiction: alcohol, drugs, or pornography. Because pornography use can become an actual addiction, viewers are not able to stop through their own will power. Pornography addicts will need to engage i the same difficult recovery process a drug addict has to go through.


Using pornography to feel pleasure and escape feelings of low self-esteem, anxiety, boredom and frustration creates gateway for addiction. When the rush of pleasure disappears, the feelings a user i trying to escape from reappear stronger than ever, and they are compelled to repeat the cycle. Over time, their brain chemistry is altered and a full-fledged addiction occurs.

Initially, you were attracted to pornography because of the positive things it did for you. ("I love the rush I feel," "This is my favorite pastime," "I feel lonely," "This is m reward to myself for making it through a rough day..." Eventually, it will do just the opposite. ("I no longer feel an emotional response to anything," "There is nothing i my life I enjoy doing," "I feel totally isolate from the world," "My anxiety and stress levels are at an all-time high...".

With pornography, we use sex as a substitute for nurture, intimacy, and love. Sex is no longer a wonderful source of connection between our deepest selves and a beloved partner; it becomes a commodity used to avoid intimacy and mask needs that should be met through human co!
Because this is an addictive substance, it creates an appetite for itself. This appetite increases over time as you spend more and more time viewing pornography. The time spent viewing pornography can jeopardize work, relationships and interest in healthy pastimes.

Over time, the pornography we first started viewing becomes mundane. We escalate to view things which we once would have considered as going too far or totally wrong. We feel increasing desire to do things which will damage our reputation and relationships.

In the long run, pornography will not short up a shaky ego, will not fill the emptiness left from childhood wounds or abandonment, will not save a shaky relationship or failing marriage and is not satisfying. In fact, it will magnify each emotional wound from the past and cripple your ability to meet your essential emotional needs, damage your ability to have a healthy relationship and leave you unable to sexually or emotionally respond to your partner.



COPIED

Oga this is for people addicted to porn, there is no evidence our 14 yr old is addicted

benfluleck:




Oga this is for people addicted to porn, there is no evidence our 14 yr old is addicted

LoL... If he continues watching it he will definitely get addicted to it. Did U even read what I wrote? Go back & read it...

NobleAngell:
It's a terrible addiction. A spiritually-inclined addiction, you gotta pray him/her out of it. There are also effective physical approaches too, like bringing the child in the midst of people more cos they tend to keep to themselves a lot and they want to always be alone. Socializing with the right company can help them a lot.



If the above tips don't work, drag him to the nearest olumba olumba church for correct flogging.

hahaha funny.like say dem been never disvirgin you by age 14.abegi leave am or talk to the guy.now wey him dey watch porn leave am.if you try to stop am him go wan do dey physical practical,na that one go worse pass.bet me.

Show me ya cousin and I'll tell you who you are

jejemanito:
I collected the phone - an android phone - and told him it is for less distraction purposes. But he needed a means to communicate with his parents so I gave him an old Techno java phone plagued with memory card issues

Guess what? He figured out a way to still use it to download UCbrowser then a batch of P*rn

Na for there I weak.

bro just free the guy.it causes him no harm.it is better he watches porn than to start sleeping around with small girls.He is a teenager and his hormones are catching up with him.its normal.

jejemanito:
My 14 year old cousin stays with me and I just found out he has an assembly line of X videos dot com clips hidden in his phone.

Going by the way I was raised will mean the melodrama of confrontation which will only lead to him - after deleting the current ones - finding out better ways to hide the next batch he will download.

I know because I've been there

So I need a smarter way mostly bordering on a "psychological" approach

Any suggestions please

Cc: onegai ifyalways

Not to condone his behaviour but let's be realistic almost every teenager goes through this phase in life. His body system is changing, his hormones are raging, he is picking interest in sexual matters. With the easy access to the internet and spread of sexua.l content over the Internet, you cannot stop him from seeing those if he wants to. You could still go ahead and confront him about it just so he knows about the morality of it but just bear in mind that you may not be able to stop him from doing so completely, i.e. he would find other ways to hide them but at least he knows that he should never view them publicly. At best you can have a private session with him where you educate him on the dangers of unprotected sex and teenage/out of wedlock pregnancies etc. and to practice safe sex if he must have one. My two cents.

Papiikush:


It doesn't work. It didn't work during our time when our parents will collect all magazines then punish us.

We will see these things in movies (pirates) or go collect from friends and hide somewhere far away.

I think once you catch your child watching porn just let him be.

Call him later, sit him down and have a father/son discussion. It is time he gets trained on sex education.

You can't cheat nature Cuz he is becoming a man

so, if you got over it, chill, he will get over it, if he doesn't, then do to him what worked for you, it might work for him too, I mean just imagine he's your kid...

jejemanito:
My 14 year old cousin stays with me and I just found out he has an assembly line of X videos dot com clips hidden in his phone.

Going by the way I was raised will mean the melodrama of confrontation which will only lead to him - after deleting the current ones - finding out better ways to hide the next batch he will download.

I know because I've been there

So I need a smarter way mostly bordering on a "psychological" approach

Any suggestions please

Cc: onegai ifyalways

Bro pls forgv him
Me i was d major distributor of porn wen i was in js1 i was 11 then sef.. He ll see his mistakes later

jejemanito:
My 14 year old cousin stays with me and I just found out he has an assembly line of X videos dot com clips hidden in his phone.

Going by the way I was raised will mean the melodrama of confrontation which will only lead to him - after deleting the current ones - finding out better ways to hide the next batch he will download.

I know because I've been there

So I need a smarter way mostly bordering on a "psychological" approach

Any suggestions please

Cc: onegai ifyalways

Life and death is in the tongue of the mouth.

Best thing to do is to sit him down and talk to him. You aim should be to reach his heart. You can reach the heart by asking questions.

First, tell him that by his age you started having strong sexual urges because you had reached the age of puberty. Tell him you used to wake up with your penis erect. You can add that friends introduced you to porn and you enjoyed watching it.

Then add, " Do you think there's a dark side to pornography?" Wait for an answer

Ask him if he masturbates? Tell him of your own experience that its one of the consequences. He'll realise you're speaking from experience and he'll see you as a mentor.

Also ask him about girls? Has he had sex? Just keep going on and on.

Gradually, he'll see the danger of porn and why he should be careful. More, importantly let him know he'll have a clear conscience with God. Never be manipulative as he'll sense it and begin to distrust you. Only by winning his trust will he appreciate your advise

And that's why you're worried?
Of all the things to be worried about at his age. .
Just leave the boy and be happy it wasn't gay porn you caught him with. . .

Psychological Solutions are relational to the trigger of the problem. So you need to discover the main driver of his act n cut it off. Like someone rightly pointed,
1. Engage Him seriously with lots of social activities for proper socialization.
2. Pray to God for Change
3. Change His phone to a non browsing phone and explained. To him why the change of phone.
4. Wake Him up by 1am to have a friendly chat on His Act and educate him properly
5. Monitor and Reinforced small changes with word of appreciation and possible gifts.
6. Thank God for changes...
7. Enjoy Life

misano:




LoL... If he continues watching it he will definitely get addicted to it. Did U even read what I wrote? Go back & read it...

Of course I did I actually googled the original article where you copied it from. My point is you can't make an inference when you do not know your subject. It's like a doctor telling you that you have malaria just because someone told him you have a headache.

Warn him that he will go to hell fire

take him to village

just leave de boi he will soon get tired of it like i did dis is a free world!

Beat him very well. Then we can talk!

jejemanito:
Didn't you read? It no longer works

Lol Baba don vex

Get him a girl to Bleep the shit outta him.

No he is too young for that first of ask him how he got to know about porn.[color=#990000][/color]

Maybe it time to give him the talk about sex and the opposite sex


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