Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?

Walk away, after she said no sex to you. She gave it up for someone else, meaning she didn't love you enough. Now she has run out of option she fell back to you.

This is what I tell guys if a girl loves you she will do almost everything to see you happy. Girls let their guards down for the ones they truly love.

The stillbirth might be her reason for not involving in pre marital sex again,if u truly love her i see no reason for not going ahead to marry her!no one is perfect,good luck

Op
First:She had a stillbirth,be certain to confirm her health status b4 marriage,b4 u give ursef problem leta
Secondly:I think she was lying,just pulling ur legs to see what u will do
Thirdly:If it is true,sit down n tell her u are disappointed n angry,y did she refuse u sex but gave it to another,were u here backup choice
Finally: Marry her,from wat am reading u are also at fault,wife materials are hard to find nowadays,but if I were u,kip dating her 4 d next 1-2yrs,pull d devil out of her n find out hu she really is

Bro if you still love her, take her to the altar. We all have our past,and to move on we have to do away with it. From your write up,you guys are destined to marry one another. Forget about the sex issue.

This one na draw draw match na. Abeg marry am because she told u, what if u come discover after marrying her nko? U go jump fenses

Virgin ko...dont you know if a woman does not have sex for a long time ,sex after that seems she's a virgin due to tightness

Mrkumareze:
Young man, what you want is a home material not just a sex partner. What makes a wife is bigger than the abortion issue so you better examine her character not the past or her stories . The story of her dark side may be false , my wife once told me (before I proposed) she dated my distance cousin same way my cousin affirmed to it but they discovered how they 're related through maternal side which prevented them from marriage. All my affection diminished at the year it of that.I made my friendship with her to be casual cos of that, It took my almost a year to take a good step of proposing her for marriage and 3 months later we got married. Behold I was surprised that my wife was still a virgin. I personally advise u to go ahead with her, u 'll see reasons to be happy with her. Mind u, if u loose her it 'll take u time to find another love. Wife material is not like s*x material.

Sterope:
Hypocrite

What's wrong with this childish n!twit throwing tantrums upandan here? Grow up joor. If any1 is a hypocrite here,its u n d b!tch he described in his post. B!tches who form holy but are freaks in bed with other men....!!!

Sex with her neighbor, sex with another man... na wa.

Both of you love cheating. You fit each other.

No concern me o

I might be wrong but I think she didn't find you so attractive as to sleep with you then. Be sure she loves you and finds you attractive(sexually) before committing yourself to Marriage.

U r not in d position to judge her!

Personally, I think u r not even a husband material, judging from ur several sex escapeds!

teresafaith:
Op has already made a decision and he is looking for who will pat him on the back and encourage him to dump her, but lemme tell you the bitter truth "YOU AN HYPOCRITE"

Well your fellow morons are cheering you on, but know that what we sow is what we will reap

The m0r0n here is U,stup!d. Why was she was she forming holier than thou when she was bang!ng some other dude,even got pregnant 4 him too. Can't ur brain interpret this simple issue? Both of them aren't straight in this matter.

cococandy:
How exactly do you imagine yourself better than her or in a position to judge her?
Please explain your thought process to me.

She didn't even have an abortion. She had a still birth. so you're judging her for having had sex before she met you meanwhile you've been a hoe about town? Explain yourself sir.

oh well from Adam she denied him of sex claiming Virgin Mary and now she just explode.
honestly if am in his shoe I wont take it lightly, we broke up many times because u don't want sex and me on the other hand think u are a Virgin that's why u don't want sex not knowing you've been doing it from my back, so why claim holy all this while?
now that she heard marriage she has started confessing.

I think I understand where you're coming from... You guys were always having issues cos of her refusal to have sex with you, but she was getting the sex somewhere else. I personally wouldn't marry such a person cos I don't like people having double standards and making it difficult to trust them. If we're going to be having sex, let's have it together. Not me having sex outside, you also having sex outside but trying to claim celibate to me... It's a total turn off. Whatever it is, follow your heart.

I can only view this matter from one point. from d beginning when d girl said she doesn't want sex, she was probably still a virgin, naive and scared that's why she denied u sex from genesis. Now, fast forward to when u guys started dating till d point of proposal. it could b that a sharp guy was able to sweet talk her to loose her virginity and along d line while enjoying herself she got pregnant and had a still birth, I believe she denied u sex at dis point because she doesn't wanna make d same mistake over again.

I see no reason why this matter should b a topic for discussion on NL and also see no reason as to why u cannot marry her.
the fact that u both have started sharing secrets shows u are both bonding well and its a good sign.


......my opinion tho

You're a goat! You have done same to another person future wife, you can't eat your cake and have it naw. Yeyenatu set of peoples. ... must comes with clean hands....

You chose not to understand the Op. His worry is she prefers other guys to him sexually. she is with him now as a matter of convenience and not love. Op, use ur head and elongate the relationship to observe more before proposing marriage.

rosalieene:


I wonder why you are just on about the sex!!

When you finally get married to her, you would do it and get tired.

if ur problem is sex, hasten the marriage process

All things being equal... d gal seems to have a good heart.

Nerdg:


Did you read the part I said all our break-ups were because she refused sex with me. Why do she do this? My problem is why we had issues because of sex and she's getting it somewhere else?

is because she don't want any unwanted pregnancy n she is keeping herself becos she av learnt from her former mistake. 4 a gal to tell u something so deep abt herself guy marry her cos the devil u know is beta dan d angel u don't know.

Nerdg:


You're capturing the part you like. However, I wish you can understand the theme rather than a paragraph. Let me help, we had many break-ups only because I tried to have sex with her. Meanwhile she's already sexually active. That's the problem not the stillbirth

Don't mind the n!twit,she can't understand ur predicament. Her brain isn't programmed 2 understand such issues.

madridguy:
From your write up I think she's trying to test you and see how you will react to her dark side too. She might as well be hurt to hear the dark side of you and maybe she cooked something up to see your reaction too.

My observation though.

Did you study psychology or you read novel n books about marriages


You are too good

cococandy:
How exactly do you imagine yourself better than her or in a position to judge her?
Please explain your thought process to me.

She didn't even have an abortion. She had a still birth. so you're judging her for having had sex before she met you meanwhile you've been a hoe about town? Explain yourself sir.

Oh puleeeeas!! His body dynamics is different from hers. She has given birth before damn. For me it's definitely a no no.

I think she's wild but very secretive. Be ready to go on sex starve if you marry her. Who am I to tell you whom to marry? I believe everyone has der "dark side" and that doesn't justify der being.

Nerdg:

Don't say what you don't know, I asked for advice and not your Masturbation on the thread

OP, do you even realise that the same sex you insisted on having was what got your girlfriend pregnant, the pregnancy you both aborted. Talk of double standards. You want to have sex, but you don't want to accept the responsibility that comes with it. You'll probably say you weren't in a position to take care of a baby then, its simple; if you weren't/aren't in a comfortable position, then either you don't have sex or you wait till you're comfortable enough to take care of a baby if the sex results to that.

.

Thanks for the compliment.

Iseoluwani:



Did you study psychology or you read novel n books about marriages


You are too good

Sterope:
She may not have been ready initially. You were so desperate that you slept with another because of it, that is a red flag to refuse you many times over. However it does sound suspicious for her to refuse you again especially if she was sexually active in a preceding relationship before this one but then it is a bit understandable given your history.


Aren't you a Christian? Isn't premarital sex a sin?. Keep your body holy for God. If you want sex, marry her.

how? so you mean she can have sex with other guys and deny her own boyfriend sex, now when he propose she confess everything meaning she didn't love him initially before.

This is the best advice here Op in my own opinion. It is what it is!

Frankyboy1:
I pray you scroll down enough to read my message! Forget what kids are saying down there, I am a man who has been in the game long enough to advise you. DON'T MARRY HER! You have always loved her and she has been ur childhood crush and your kind of ideal woman all along, but she is not who you thought she was all this while! She is not and has never been in love with you neither is she naturally attracted to you! She likes you enough to MARRY you, cause as a woman you foot the bill and the time is right, but for her withstanding you sexually all these years,but was dishing it out to someone else and even insisted on keeping the child outside wedlock! Ogbeni that is the man she really loved! A woman that loves you and is sexually active,can't withstand ur advances for years even when she knows you were genuine about her! Find a girl who loves you for you, and has good moral standards,but her knees grow weak at ur touch or advances! If not you 're marrying a woman whom after a while ur sexual advances might even irritate her! Sexuality and raw chemistry is a big ingredient in marital relationship

Op i am very sure it still hurts u dat this girl shared the honey pot to other guys even after all ur attempts and failed .. u two are playing a very dangerous game ... The girls might hv told u this secret just to intentionally hurt u because u slept with her neighbour ...my friend sorry if i sound pessimistic but as a man i can categorically tell you that there is an 80% chance u will throw this girl out of ur life after getting the honey pot. You are not sure about what you want yet if not you wouldnt even open this thread .. i know ur heart is telling u the truth follow it . My advice : have a sexual relationship with her before any decision.. i dont mean just sex o .. just court her properly but sex must be involved

Inanna:
You're very silly. You fuçked her relation, got another girl pregnant and made the girl to abort for you, broke up with your girl severally because she didn't want to satisfy your dirty urges, basically treated her like shît. Now she was honest enough to tell you her own little secret which is very mild compared to what you've done.
In all honesty, you don't deserve that girl. Go and look for someone in the same category as slime as you.

Sharrap there. Deserve kor desire ni. They're both manipulators,if u can't be objective with ur reasoning....STFU

This is my advice to u. For the fact she opened up to and told u d truth u should be able to marry her cos I believe thats the hardest secret she could ever keep from u and yet she decided to open up to u now. Man use ur brain cos from the write up I belive she's a good girl. 98% of the girls in the world that did the same thing she did can never and I mean it never tell u d truth. I dont even know why u brought this issue here. U don't av to listen to all d stupid advice u get from people here cos I'm 100% sure some of them are married and are going to get married to a LovePeddler. Get brain nd accept her cos she's the type that can make a better home for u. Such ladies are hard to get this days. Only 2% of the girls in the world can tell there man the truth. Man I tell u she's a good wife material, for her to be able to let her biggest secret known to u. Try to protect her secrets and stop messing around like a coward before u lose her. She even gave u reason for doing it and u are here messing around Iike a teenage boy. If u loved her as u claimed u wouldn't av brought this stupid post ere. Be reasonable man nd keep her secrets safe with u.

hmmm na wa