Fourwinds:
is this a good advice? supposing it was the woman that was cheating, will you tell the man to pray for her, go to Mr Biggs and buy her pepper soup and ice cream?

Fourwinds:
well...probably because they way a lot of guys came here pouring their foolishly support for a cheating husband.... no no no I detest it... some guys think with their ANUS these days

Mindfulness:

I ridicule them.

Silly responses from most of the boys not surprised.

Cook pepperoup for a man you caught red handed? . What won't I hear on NL, they will never condem cheating see them supporting the cheating man, telling the babe to think about her children didnt the hubby forget about his own children when he was phildering about.
Assuming it was the woman who cheated they won't even say forgive it's chase her out.

See the way they manovered it and they all wanted her to inform the lady's fiance so that they will save one of their own from a cheat, that's the only reason why they kept telling the OP to tell the girls fiance

I have always said it we have a lot of boys on NL parading as men.

Silly people everywhere.

Jobia:
you sound so stùpid, went through your profile and guess what? you look stùpid too!

NoToPile:


Silly responses from most of the boys not surprised.

Cook pepperoup for a man you caught red handed? . What won't I hear on NL, they will never condem cheating see them supporting the cheating man, telling the babe to think about her children didnt the hubby forget about his own children when he was phildering about.
Assuming it was the woman who cheated they won't even say forgive it's chase her out.

See the way they manovered it and they all wanted her to inform the lady's fiance so that they will save one of their own from a cheat, that's the only reason why they kept telling the OP to tell the girls fiance

I have always said it we have a lot of boys on NL parading as men.

Silly people everywhere.

90% of them are cheats na so they'll always support their partner in crime

alajoshomolu:
Don't know why some ladies believe there are men who don't cheat.

All men cheat except dy don't have d opportunity.

Ur old man cheated on ur mum
Ur boyfriend is cheating on U
Ur husband will cheat on U.

Wise women know how to handle this and live happily.

Others behave like d OP thinking dy're smart and end up destroying dr homes.

I want to assume you are kidding, else I can categorically say you are a cocktail of evil and stupidity.
I am a guy, and if I'm in a relationship I don't cheat, not because I'm some beta, approval seeking, insecure guy, but cuz I have principles. If she doesn't appeal to me physically, I can't ask her for a relationship cuz I don't want to become and emotional liability to anyone.
If I just want sex, I just tell her straight up.. .(u will be surprised some very pretty ones are cool wit it), but I'm a guy and if I commit, I don't cheat.
Do u know what it means to get and STD because u have a cheating partner? I've been there, got One from a girl I was faithful too and I'm pleased with myself that I really hurt her....Im tempted to think you and her belong in the same fold. You sincerely are a waste of any emotional investment talk less of commitment. Why would a sane person decide to put his partner at risk and claim to love them? Thank God for my inner demons, they balance my calm nature.

As for OP, one big mistake u made is you built your life around this man, build your life around no one, do it in such a way that you cuz just wake up one morning and leave with minimal impact on you, then importantly don't unless his behavior warrant such . Forgive cuz u deserve your peace,

As for this bigot I'm quoting, continue your unrepentant adultery, I pray you jam the wrong person that will ruin your life on many levels. You don't know the worse evils are done by good people who are convicted that you at hopelessly evil. You think it's everyone u mess with.
Sad part is Jesus commanded us to live peaceably with these Scum.
I just wish I did put a bullet in your head

Please dear how did you hack his WhatsApp with your phone? Please reply me the procedure. I want to monitor my cheating fiance.. Thanks[color=#990000][/color]

SalamRushdie:


If a valid need to cheat ever pops up I will take it

that is what I call foolishness... it is better to end the marriage and have a free conscience to do whatever you want

honestwife:
Hello house,
I have been been a nairalander for many years and i just need advice because am so devasted. I got married to my husband 7years ago with 3beautiful kids ,a girl and 2 boys

My husband is that perfect men any woman would ever prayer for.i have never suspected him for once not until last year september that i saw some frequent call from a particular no, i decided to take the no and store on my own phone,,i suspected he was cheating but i did nit have any evidence to prove it.

So last month,i activated an automatic call recording on his phone and here i am, all my doubt were confirmed, i decided not to ask him as i laid down my own plans too, i took his phone and scan his whatapp QR code and i deactivated the notification so he wont know. So with this, i was able to veiw all his chat directly from my phone through this chat i saw that the lady was around at his place yesterday morning and i travelled in the eveningbecause we dont live in the same state due to transfer

i took my children to my sisters place and i travelled, looo and behold this lady was wearing only paint and bra in my husbands room although i gave both of them good dirty slap of thier life, and i told her i have details of his guy and that i was going to call and let him know the kind of girl she is

so now to cut the long story short this lady has a fiance which is planning to wed her because i got to her instagram page and facebook page and i saw that she has a very good guy at her hand thus made me sad because i dont know why she would cheat with my husband even after having a good relationship,

my decision is that am planning to call this guy through facebook call and send him all the recording and whatappbchat between her fiance and my husband

i just want to know if am making the right decision

as for my husband , he will meet me at home

Story

emerged01:

Which is one soft landing? She should arrest him and jail him? I don't know what you want her to do o. Maybe she should park out of the house?
Op said her husband is a nice man. And she also said they live separately because of job transfer. Such situation can show the weakness of any partner.

look here... if King David who is married could snatch another man's wife does that mean there was no Joseph who wasn't married and refuse to sleep with his boss wife.? I tell you it would have been much more justifiable for Joseph than King David... it is only a stupid person that will use distance as an excuse to cheat... what happens if you visit your partner every two weeks or monthly... I have colleagues that do that... one of them work in Ogun state and his family are in Osun state

Fourwinds:
look here... if King David who is married could snatch another man's wife does that mean there was no Joseph who wasn't married and refuse to sleep with his boss wife.? I tell you it would have been much more justifiable for Joseph than King David... it is only a stupid person that will use distance as an excuse to cheat... what happens if you visit your partner every two weeks or monthly... I have colleagues that do that... one of them work in Ogun state and his family are in Osun state

Oga I'm not saying what the man did is right. I only proferr forgiveness as the solution to the problem on ground,you are busy twisting issues. Ok! Give your judgement on the matter,let me know how sound you are. Did God not forgive David?

emerged01:

Oga I'm not saying what the man did is right. I only proferr forgiveness as the solution to the problem on ground,you are busy twisting issues. Ok! Give your judgement on the matter,let me know how sound you are. Did God not forgive David?

He forgave King David but still punished him remember( the child died and he grieved over him) ... even if God forgives you will still serve your punishment... so the husband deserve punishment and we'll as the girl... the girl's punishment will be to lose her fiancé( by a pm alerting the young man with the details of her misconduct) and start all over again...while the husband need to tender an apology with their pastor or imam in the knowing... then their forgiveness is well deserved

I've to be honest here. The guys that gave advise on this thread are really annoying. I know there're people who're not too smart on Nairaland, but I no know say them plenty like this.
I dey shame for my fellow guys here aswear.

Fourwinds:
He forgave King David but still punished him remember( the child died and he grieved over him) ... even if God forgives you will still serve your punishment... so the husband deserve punishment and we'll as the girl... the girl's punishment will be to lose her fiancé( by a pm alerting the young man with the details of her misconduct) and start all over again...while the husband need to tender an apology with their pastor or imam in the knowing... then their forgiveness is well deserved

You may not be pleased with the way I proffered solution to the problem but all still boiled down to forgiveness.God is the one to punish because we all have sinned one way or the other. ( remember the story of that harlot,stone her if......?

Fourwinds:
nonsense....why wont OP mind Evaberry,'s advice ? she gave a very good advice... only a cheating fool will dislike it....

It is easier said than done. Even Evaberry, herself won't do what she had advised if she was in OP's shoes. A marriage with kids! And you advise the mother to leave, hmmm! That is the real NONSENSE dear.

honestwife:
Hello house,
I have been been a nairalander for many years and i just need advice because am so devasted. I got married to my husband 7years ago with 3beautiful kids ,a girl and 2 boys

My husband is that perfect men any woman would ever prayer for.i have never suspected him for once not until last year september that i saw some frequent call from a particular no, i decided to take the no and store on my own phone,,i suspected he was cheating but i did nit have any evidence to prove it.

So last month,i activated an automatic call recording on his phone and here i am, all my doubt were confirmed, i decided not to ask him as i laid down my own plans too, i took his phone and scan his whatapp QR code and i deactivated the notification so he wont know. So with this, i was able to veiw all his chat directly from my phone through this chat i saw that the lady was around at his place yesterday morning and i travelled in the eveningbecause we dont live in the same state due to transfer

i took my children to my sisters place and i travelled, looo and behold this lady was wearing only paint and bra in my husbands room although i gave both of them good dirty slap of thier life, and i told her i have details of his guy and that i was going to call and let him know the kind of girl she is

so now to cut the long story short this lady has a fiance which is planning to wed her because i got to her instagram page and facebook page and i saw that she has a very good guy at her hand thus made me sad because i dont know why she would cheat with my husband even after having a good relationship,

my decision is that am planning to call this guy through facebook call and send him all the recording and whatappbchat between her fiance and my husband

i just want to know if am making the right decision

as for my husband , he will meet me at home

I will advice you don't report her to her finance. That will break her relationship and she will keep lingering with your husband. Just keep the evidences you have and back them up somewhere else. Then threaten her with it, that if you refuse to leave your husband, you will expose her. If she cherishes the relationship with the other guy, trust me, she will run from your husband.
To me, breaking her new relationship will make you lose your husband to her.

Then, comfort your husband and discuss it with him. Discuss the reasons for his actions and the way forward. Maybe, you guys need to consider the distance in your relationship. You may need to visit each other more often. If he is sober, then it can still be redeemed. But if not, then focus on your life and your kids.
Note: You are not to blame yourself or be responsible for a cheating and unfaithful partner. Don't quit your job for a cheating partner, unless you found another one.

Shalom

myking95:

I want to assume you are kidding, else I can categorically say you are a cocktail of evil and stupidity.
I am a guy, and if I'm in a relationship I don't cheat, not because I'm some beta, approval seeking, insecure guy, but cuz I have principles. If she doesn't appeal to me physically, I can't ask her for a relationship cuz I don't want to become and emotional liability to anyone.
If I just want sex, I just tell her straight up.. .(u will be surprised some very pretty ones are cool wit it), but I'm a guy and if I commit, I don't cheat.

This is nice to see

I just wish I did put a bullet in your head

Ah has it reached that level.

myking95:


I want to assume you are kidding, else I can categorically say you are a cocktail of evil and stupidity.
I am a guy, and if I'm in a relationship I don't cheat, not because I'm some beta, approval seeking, insecure guy, but cuz I have principles. If she doesn't appeal to me physically, I can't ask her for a relationship cuz I don't want to become and emotional liability to anyone.
If I just want sex, I just tell her straight up.. .(u will be surprised some very pretty ones are cool wit it), but I'm a guy and if I commit, I don't cheat.
Do u know what it means to get and STD because u have a cheating partner? I've been there, got One from a girl I was faithful too and I'm pleased with myself that I really hurt her....Im tempted to think you and her belong in the same fold. You sincerely are a waste of any emotional investment talk less of commitment. Why would a sane person decide to put his partner at risk and claim to love them? Thank God for my inner demons, they balance my calm nature.

As for OP, one big mistake u made is you built your life around this man, build your life around no one, do it in such a way that you cuz just wake up one morning and leave with minimal impact on you, then importantly don't unless his behavior warrant such . Forgive cuz u deserve your peace,

As for this bigot I'm quoting, continue your unrepentant adultery, I pray you jam the wrong person that will ruin your life on many levels. You don't know the worse evils are done by good people who are convicted that you at hopelessly evil. You think it's everyone u mess with.
Sad part is Jesus commanded us to live peaceably with these Scum.
I just wish I did put a bullet in your head

I wonder how these disgusting liars can even look at themselves in the mirror. You promised someone who loves you commitment, you made the person commit and then you go to stab the person behind their back. Disgusting!

MrSly:

It is easier said than done. Even Evaberry, herself won't do what she had advised if she was in OP's shoes. A marriage with kids! And you advise the mother to leave, hmmm! That is the real NONSENSE dear.

if the woman is capable of taking care of herself and the kids.. I will advise her to do so... I'm a living witness to it... this very woman is a federal civil servant...the trouble she went through raging from beating, threat etc... she left her husband and the man went and marry another woman but she remained single... the man is late now and she lives on

NoToPile:


Silly responses from most of the boys not surprised.

Cook pepperoup for a man you caught red handed? . What won't I hear on NL, they will never condem cheating see them supporting the cheating man, telling the babe to think about her children didnt the hubby forget about his own children when he was phildering about.
Assuming it was the woman who cheated they won't even say forgive it's chase her out.

See the way they manovered it and they all wanted her to inform the lady's fiance so that they will save one of their own from a cheat, that's the only reason why they kept telling the OP to tell the girls fiance

I have always said it we have a lot of boys on NL parading as men.

Silly people everywhere.

Silly is an understatement.
The femieddy that said pound yam and have sex is the one that made me mad. Did God forget to install conscience in Nigerian men?

MrSly:

It is easier said than done. Even Evaberry, herself won't do what she had advised if she was in OP's shoes. A marriage with kids! And you advise the mother to leave, hmmm! That is the real NONSENSE dear.

She leaves the liar and cheater, not the kids. You men will start to learn to respect your marriage vows if more women do it.

pocohantas:

Silly is an understatement.
The femieddy that said pound yam and have sex is the one that made me mad. Did God forget to install conscience in Nigerian men?

They were raised with a sense of entitlement and it is reinforced by women's willingness to tolerate it.

Mindfulness:


They were raised with a sense of entitlement and it is reinforced by women's willingness to tolerate it.

This is becoming serious. There is a growing need to educate our men more on how to be good husbands.

That willingness to tolerate is due to the fact that our women lose themselves once they marry, where to fall back is always a problem.

A married man goes about his life after marriage, but a woman will end her social life, end her career, her physical appearance will suffer, self-development = zero...then she embraces religion and her kids as her only comfort zone.

pocohantas:


Silly is an understatement.
The femieddy that said pound yam and have sex is the one that made me mad. Did God forget to install conscience in Nigerian men?

Are you married?

pocohantas:


This is becoming serious. There is a growing need to educate our men more on how to be good husbands.

Maybe but I do not see why they would put any effort into it when they can have their cake and eat it with minimal effort.

That willingness to tolerate is due to the fact that our women lose themselves once they marry, where to fall back is always a problem.

A married man goes about his life after marriage, but a woman will end her social life, end her career, her physical appearance will suffer, self-development = zero...then she embraces religion and her kids as her only comfort zone.

Very true and it does not stop here. See how men support each other on this thread. If the tables were turned men AND women would castigate the wife for cheating. Also, men have a clear boundary, you cheat, the marriage is over. Women, on the other hand, take revenge on their fellow woman, not the one who broke the promise and marriage vows, the husband. They even believe that it is their fault hubby cheated or will console their heart with sentences like "all men cheat".

I do not hate men for that. I ridicule their excuses but I love how they play naive women to their advantage. I have learned my lessons from them.

Mindfulness:


Maybe but I do not see why they would put any effort into it when they can have their cake and eat it with minimal effort.



Very true and it does not stop here. See how men support each other on this thread. If the tables were turned men AND women would castigate the wife for cheating. Also, men have a clear boundary, you cheat, the marriage is over. Women, on the other hand, take revenge on their fellow woman, not the one who broke the promise and marriage vows, the husband. They even believe that it is their fault hubby cheated or will console their heart with sentences like "all men cheat".

I do not hate men for that. I ridicule their excuses but I love how they play naive women to their advantage. I have learned my lessons from them.

Mindful, by now I kinda guess you aren't in naija. Here in naija, when the blawdy husband cheats and you intend to do what he woulda done if tables were turned, families, friends, society, your children, responsibilities and all consequences stare you in the face and dare you. They say " go on, do your worst". Baby, what is the worst the hurt wife could do? Kill him? Divorce him? Cheat? Incapacitate him? Hmmm, she kind do much. Her options are minimal unless she dammm all consequences and take her kids and walk.

The few women who can do that successfully are usually those who could take care of themselves, their wards and any responsibility that comes their way. How many do you think we have here?

In ilu oyinbo on the other hand, if the wife catches any blawdy husband cheating and she decides to do her worst...he's screwed! And she gets all the support she needs.

Now you see the difference? God help us. When the naija woman catches him, she doesn't have much to hurt him with except she's strong enough to hurt him. In essence, she goes for the jugular of her perceived enemy

sisisioge:

Mindful, by now I kinda guess you aren't in naija. Here in naija, when the blawdy husband cheats and you intend to do what he woulda done if tables were turned, families, friends, society, your children, responsibilities and all consequences stare you in the face and dare you. They say " go on, do your worst". Baby, what is the worst the hurt wife could do? Kill him? Divorce him? Cheat? Incapacitate him? Hmmm, she kind do much. Her options are minimal unless she dammm all consequences and take her kids and walk.

You are absolutely right. I live in a country where women are respected and I know that it is easier for me than for my Naija sisters. I have had it in the back of my mind all the time and I am glad you raised this point. However, you must also know that the situation as it is in many developed countries now has been achieved and was not granted to women right from the beginning. In fact, only a few decades ago, the man had the right to take his wife from work if he chose to. That's only one example of the power men had over women BUT women did not accept and defend it like our Naija sisters do oftentimes to create a self-image of a good woman.

The few women who can do that successfully are usually those who could take care of themselves, their wards and any responsibility that comes their way. How many do you think we have here?

Don't marry before you are able to take care of yourself. How many young girls will get married this Christmas to men abroad because they will be taken care of ignoring the ways from which the money comes and the fact that these men have girlfriends, baby mamas, wives abroad? Pure laziness.

In ilu oyinbo on the other hand, if the wife catches any blawdy husband cheating and she decides to do her worst...he's screwed! And she gets all the support she needs.

Like I said, it has not been like that for long. They have come a long way to find themselves in this luxurious situation relative to their Nigerian counterparts. It goes to show that change is possible.

Now you see the difference? God help us. When the naija woman catches him, she doesn't have much to hurt him with except she's strong enough to hurt him. In essence, she goes for the jugular of her perceived enemy

Are you willing to accept the status quo or do you desire for your daughters and granddaughters to be protected and respected?

Mindfulness:


You are absolutely right. I live in a country where women are respected and I know that it is easier for me than for my Naija sisters. I have had it in the back of my mind all the time and I am glad you raised this point. However, you must also know that the situation as it is in many developed countries now has been achieved and was not granted to women right from the beginning. In fact, only a few decades ago, the man had the right to take his wife from work if he chose to. That's only one example of the power men had over women BUT women did not accept and defend it like our Naija sisters do oftentimes to create a self-image of a good woman.



Don't marry before you are able to take care of yourself. How many young girls will get married this Christmas to men abroad because they will be taken care of ignoring the ways from which the money comes and the fact that these men have girlfriends, baby mamas, wives abroad? Pure laziness.



Like I said, it has not been like that for long. They have come a long way to find themselves in this luxurious situation relative to their Nigerian counterparts. It goes to show that change is possible.



Are you willing to accept the status quo or do you desire for your daughters and granddaughters to be protected and respected?

Hmm...good points. However, I'm just as bad as they come, not willing to be part of any movement. I've already crossed the threshold of 30 and unmarried. What it means is , I definitely can take care of myself if I get unfortunate with a blawdy husband. Heavens for us all, everyman(woman) for himself. I no fit shout.

FemiEddy:

That is the first mistake of you ladies, men are not animals......u just posted what I don't even have an adjective to qualify.....its your opinion tho, but leaving marriage with three kids isn't a good one from u, have u seen vision that the husband will beat her or what

If the man had cared about the marriage with three kids, he wouldn't have cheated in the first place.

pocohantas:


Silly is an understatement.
The femieddy that said pound yam and have sex is the one that made me mad. Did God forget to install conscience in Nigerian men?

What a fallacy of hasty generalisation. Please say "some" Nigerian men or.....

chisco82:

What a fallacy of hasty generalisation. Please say "some" Nigerian men or.....

Do not bother ursef about that lady, it's a waste of time