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Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by Queerworld(m): 11:21am On Sep 22, 2017
Ihebu4chelsea:
@op please can you help me secure admission in NDA it's very important please. 08166632634

Ubanka.........arm of rubbish.
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by Gracesofar(m): 11:26am On Sep 22, 2017
Ihebu4chelsea:
@op please can you help me secure admission in NDA it's very important please. 08166632634


Bro. I rili wanna help u in fact my bones ache just to be of assistance to u. But dear, Am not rili cut out too. And its painful.


Buh I know someone who can.

He won't collect much from u. His name is Jesus. He helped pple like myself who r condemned sinners. Y won't he reciprocate it for u



All u HV to do. Talk to me from ur hrt, get nda compendium. Read it like ur life depends on it, pray and put ur trust in him. And u will be amazed at how magical it will seem. Dnt forget to be loyal with ur tithe dz d key to success


Be good. Hopeful to hear the godnews from u soonest.
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by Ihebu4chelsea(m): 11:29am On Sep 22, 2017
Queerworld:


Ubanka.........arm of rubbish.
did I talk to you?? why can't you mind your business. don't ever quote me again
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by Ihebu4chelsea(m): 11:30am On Sep 22, 2017
Gracesofar:



Bro. I rili wanna help u in fact my bones ache just to be of assistance to u. But dear, Am not rili cut out too. And its painful.


Buh I know someone who can.

He won't collect much from u. His name is Jesus. He helped pple like myself who r condemned sinners. Y won't he reciprocate it for u



All u HV to do. Talk to me from ur hrt, get nda compendium. Read it like ur life depends on it, pray and put ur trust in him. And u will be amazed at how magical it will seem. Dnt forget to be loyal with ur tithe dz d key to success


Be good. Hopeful to hear the godnews from u soonest.
thanks boss. I appreciate
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by Gracesofar(m): 11:34am On Sep 22, 2017
Ihebu4chelsea:
thanks boss. I appreciate


U welcome broda. Hope u know wia to get the compendium from? Dz d wala to nda exam. Once u can PRAtice it well enof, boss dz all o. If u dnt find I will follow u up and u can talk to me in case u need help in getting it
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by Gracesofar(m): 11:36am On Sep 22, 2017
Queerworld:


Ubanka.........arm of rubbish.

Meanwhile. U take 1. U will cancel ur name in my culprit list. Even if na in officer cadre
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by Ihebu4chelsea(m): 11:39am On Sep 22, 2017
Gracesofar:



U welcome broda. Hope u know wia to get the compendium from? Dz d wala to nda exam. Once u can PRAtice it well enof, boss dz all o. If u dnt find I will follow u up and u can talk to me in case u need help in getting it
no sir I don't know where to get it. I will appreciate if you can help me out
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by Nobody: 11:56am On Sep 22, 2017
Move on guy or better still run and while doing that make sure the soles if your feet are smacking the back of your head.
the father clearly doesn't like you, too many signs in your story to tell you that all is not well. Yoruba and Igbos don't mix well except their is either money or you both (family) grew up where tolerance was very high for inter tribal things.

besides you are young, though it's good to settle early when things are shaping up nicely but it's a double edge sword if you rush things. i will say you confide with a family member and seek their opinion.

Last thing you want is to marry someone and have extended family issues. face your NDA and see how things pan out.....#IyaniMaSele


Gracesofar:
Hi everyone,

Am not an active nairalander although have been a guest for over 8 years. And am not an active supporter of people coming here to ask for advise but there is a saying a dead body is just another corpse except the person is related to you. Now I have issues that can affect my life and am humbly here asking for advise from people who were ones in my shoes and probably who are more experienced to see the handwriting on the wall. Please don't mind the long epistle for those who really have something to contribute.


I met this lady I will call her Ada. Not her real name though, I met her when I was in my 2nd year in the Nigerian defence academy. She was a friend to my cousin sister so during their passing out from secondary school to fulfill my words I went to greet my sister and I saw this Ada of a girl. Instantly I was captivated by her IQ and beauty and again she cleared all the medals and was the best graduating student. It goes by me saying when I got home on September pass that year, I asked my cousin sister about her and the rest. ....... Just what you are thinking. Anyway I didn't ask her out we became very good friends even though she's of IGbo tribe and am a full blooded Yoruba. We were close that my sister was jealous I was just 20 and she was 16 so asking her out was a capital No. Fast forward, the year she finished secondary school her mum contacted cancer and she was to get exposed to chemo-theraphy or what do they call it and Ada was so disturbed but even though phone was not allowed nothwithstanding I was always there to stand by her. She was so lucky because her mum survived it though she had to retire herself and become a full time housewife and apart she had fibroid issue again. So Ada got admission the year she finished secondary school to study Chemical engineering and when we chatted I realised she didn't know what she want from life. Shes also the only child of her parents so I couldn't blame her even her mum that should have helped talk to her about career is on the sick bed and her dad trust Igbo men I dnt need to tell u before u guys know he's into business. Anyway, we chatted a lot over the issue of her career and I told her God saved her mother from death why won't she save some other mums who ain't as rich as them but is suffering from same illness I advised her to go into the medical field and she agreed even though she was already in the university studying chemical engineering at 16. The truth is we were so in love with ourselves. To cut the long story short. She took jamb and the next year God engraved Ada and she got admitted to study medicine and surgery in an Eastern uni and that year I asked her out and she gave me a resounding yes I do. It goes by me saying she's my first and only love. And we lived so happily ever after

Fast forward, I am among the cadets who passed out of the academy this year and during my convocation and gala night I invited my love to come celebrate since my mum is coming and I see it as an avenue to introduce them even though they've spoken on phone countless times. Thanks to ASUU strike she was home during the ceremony. That night their driver brought her mother and my sweet Ada and immediately I introduced them to my family my mum fell in love with her. Even me I must confess she's so sweet to be with. So charming. Her mum met me too and I liked her a lot so mission 1 was successful both families were in love.

After the gala night, my mum gave them an invitation for my pop and even though HV given Ada one before but she was so happy my mum invited her she hugged my mum and I was so happy about my choice of woman. Because I lost my dad at a tender age and since then its been my mum and my fear has always been I dnt want a lady that won't respect or take my mum as her own.

Fast forward again 2 days after the gala night was my pop and my made sure my clowns and some other cadets I can trust made my mum and future in-laws very comfortable.after e program we entered the hall for my commissioning and pipping and only my mum was entitled to pip me of the 2Lt rank. Fast forward immediately I became an officer I went to hug my swthrt even b4 my sister and she was even the one holding my sword throughout we snapped and we were just so happy. And my mum was to wait for me in my cousins place since there will always be enough after party in vivianna, empire and other lounges in Kaduna by my coursemates. But I begged Ada's mum and I made sure she was there with me since I dnt drink, smoke or go out with women.

Fast forward again after the program and all the parties, I went to my uncles place where my mum and sister harbour and I was surprised mum gave me a car as a token for making her proud because I was in a private uni before but due to financial instability with my mum I had to abandon the uni and wen my mates were going to 500l as Medical laboratory scientist that was when I just got admitted to Nda. I was happy for my choice but to my mum its a sacrifice so when things became stable for her she decided to get me d car on my pop for a thank you keepsake. The mistake I made that is now about changing my live started there


After I was giving the car it was a Toyota Camry popularly called muscle by we Yoruba's. After the car I decided to take my relationship with Ada to the next level and I got some cheap ring that day and decided to propose to my 20 years old gf she was already going to her 400l then. I guessed I was yo forward anyway she I took her out that night to a cinema in barnawa Kaduna and after the play inside my new car I proposed to her and she gave me a perfect yes and for the first time in my life I had my first kiss with her. I told my mum and she thank God for z grace so far and she advised me to go see his dad. The advise was the big issue but what is about ruining my happy life z me going. Monday evening I went to their house in and parked outside, her mum was so happy seeing me and before long her dad came back and my car was blocking him from entering. Trust Igbo's and their pride he was just talking that who will come and block him in his own house etc. I apologised and he looked at me up and down like who are you.anyway we entered and dz man started questioning me that why will I bring my mothers car etc. I was just 23+ since my betday z 24.and again I am just tall and lanky. No muscle or little fat so I can be confused for a teenager. Anyway, I told him its my car and he started asking me about where I work to own such a car etc I was so confused because he sounded so hostile etc buh Ada came to my mercy and told him dz So so so so. His my friend HV been telling u about and his an officer in the army etc. The man was like so where u get the Ar if u just pass out. He was just talking about the car. Oboy and I wanted to tell him am not related to Evans but how will I. Afterwards the mum came and she served me some rice etc. On the dinning table the man started questionning me again where am from and I told him south west. There and then he started telling me about his Yoruba friend who are cheaters, wife beaters. Etc. Oboy the man na tribal bigot o. I was feeling so uneasy and i told him been a wife beater is not about tribe. Its about the individual man. As the man heard this he flared up and starting telling me her daughter can't marry Yoruba, they are unrefined etc. That no Igbo cheats or beat his wife. So on he even said Yoruba's are fraudsters that they like using big cars at their early life. Anyway I kept my cool thru all the torture. And finally after the dinner, we were chatting while watching nat geo wild and he asked about my family. I told him am from a broken home and my dad z late. Upon hearing that again he said you see that's what am saying Yoruba men are so so.

I won't say more but that night was worst than the day I saw my dad dying in the sick bed yesterday night. After it all I was going and obviously he didn't like me because of this Ada my long time gf could even see me to the gate. D gate man just open up and I drive out. Since then HV not contacted ada and she haven't contacted me.



PS. I love this lady a lot. Shes my first and only gf. Pls mature nairalanders wah do u advise. Her father is too tribalistic and is a racist. Buh am stuck and torn BTW two worlds. Giving up on her or staying attached nd defiling the eccentric father.alas I can't tell my mum. Trust Yoruba women them both go gree that lady go commit the ring the day she hears



Pls I need advise. From mature mind only.....

This mods lalasticlala help me out
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by Chevronstaff: 12:05pm On Sep 22, 2017
@Gracesofar
Give her a call and sort things out if u truly love her ...
My own father is also VERY strict as well...(but not as strict as your financee's dad though)..
Since the both of you are compatible to each other, and since you've known and studied her for years, I think it would easier to settle everything..
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by jaymichael(m): 12:59pm On Sep 22, 2017
Gracesofar:


Dunno bout ur school of thought. But to me, a man dnt need to be Igbo Hausa or Yoruba to have one form of bad habit. I once watched a movie which changed my ideology about life and wef that day I stopped judging pple based on their tribe or religion. D movie is titled my name z khan. There was a part where the mum drew a man giving him Lilli pop and another holding a cane and she asked who z a Muslim etc. D bottom line I learnt from the movie is. Religion apart or tribe. There are two types of pple in this world. The good pple and the bad ones. I dnt need to be a Yoruba to be a wife beater or serial cheater. Neither do I need to be a Igbo man to be involved in drugs.


I love the girl alot
Soldier, from your narratives, I have drawn the opinion that you are a naturally good natured person. If you want to hear my honest opinion, I will tell you to move on but just keep Ada as a friend, no romance attached. I say this because I was in a similar situation. Mine was almost 6 years. The family that didn't know how she managed to survive since her father died, were the ones threatening to disown her if she ever bring a Yoruba man home as husband. She was someone I deflowered, opened her account for her, encouraged her and gave her money resit her SSCE, stood by her when she gained admission, did my best to be a Father, brother and friend to her which her people know. I had to move on when I couldn't overcome their blind bigotry and hatred for Yoruba people.
Ada's father one of the less obstacles, her Father's family may bring their own obstacles even if the father accepts or they will give you impossible conditions to meet before marrying their daughter. His thinking may be that this Yoruba strange wants to come inherit my properties.
Move on, Kole work.
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by jaymichael(m): 1:36pm On Sep 22, 2017
donlucabrazi:
who be this one? Tah! Shift one side.....

Even the OP I corrected did not take offence, why are u barking all over the place?

Judging by your comments, I make bold top say you are not learned...

ODE! grin grin grin
Come! na who offend you today?
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by Gracesofar(m): 2:09pm On Sep 22, 2017
jaymichael:
Soldier, from your narratives, I have drawn the opinion that you are a naturally good natured person. If you want to hear my honest opinion, I will tell you to move on but just keep Ada as a friend, no romance attached. I say this because I was in a similar situation. Mine was almost 6 years. The family that didn't know how she managed to survive since her father died, were the ones threatening to disown her if she ever bring a Yoruba man home as husband. She was someone I deflowered, opened her account for her, encouraged her and gave her money resit her SSCE, stood by her when she gained admission, did my best to be a Father, brother and friend to her which her people know. I had to move on when I couldn't overcome their blind bigotry and hatred for Yoruba people.
Ada's father one of the less obstacles, her Father's family may bring their own obstacles even if the father accepts or they will give you impossible conditions to meet before marrying their daughter. His thinking may be that this Yoruba strange wants to come inherit my properties.
Move on, Kole work.

Wow. U really invested in her hmmm. Wat a disaster

But the family didn't know how much uve invested on their daughter before their tribal issue?

U know I like the part where u said he may think this Yoruba guy wanna come inherit my property and it kind of gvs me a glimpse to how the man might be seeing me

Tnx bro. Point noted
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by Gracesofar(m): 2:10pm On Sep 22, 2017
Ihebu4chelsea:
no sir I don't know where to get it. I will appreciate if you can help me out


OK I will chat u up later. Have fun
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by jaymichael(m): 2:19pm On Sep 22, 2017
Gracesofar:


Wow. U really invested in her hmmm. Wat a disaster

But the family didn't know how much uve invested on their daughter before their tribal issue?

U know I like the part where u said he may think this Yoruba guy wanna come inherit my property and it kind of gvs me a glimpse to how the man might be seeing me

Tnx bro. Point noted
I wish you best of luck brother.
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by Intrepid01(m): 3:12pm On Sep 22, 2017
TheRealestGuy:
cheesy

This adds to many confirmations I've had that Igbo girls remain the hottest cake in Nigerian marital circles.

The only person that can convince her dad is your babe. You not contacting her is foolish cos she'll even start doubting if you're man enough to do the needful.

Also, wanting to start life at 24 is a bit too early to me and the babe is still in school, why not let her graduate?

Never be in too much hurry in life and don't think you can't meet someone as lovely as your current babe.

Get to work, give her family some space but keep the relationship going. It's your persistence with her when the family is ready to give her out that'll make her insist on having you as her husband no matter what.




PS: truth is even three of my close friends are Yoruba and all of their homes are broken. It seems many yorubas do not attach so much value to family as much as Igbos so don't blame that man okay? If not that I've developed myself mentally and emotionally to see beyond tribe, it'll be hard to convince me that Yorubas actually take marriage and family values seriously.


My two cents bro.

Oga, your submission that Yoruba don't take family seriously based on three plus one examples is fallaciou!!!!....what an experiment? Using 3 plus one to judge a WHOLE TRIBE....Go to Oyingbo and many other areas in Lagos and see many Iya chinyere without a husband..ask them...Baba Chinyere don waka!..I know atleast 5 Igbo families in my area without a Father, will I be right to say IGBO TRIBE DONT TAKE FAMILY SERIOUSLY?......pls be careful the kind of statement you make on public forum

2 Likes

Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by Gracesofar(m): 4:18pm On Sep 22, 2017
Intrepid01:


Oga, your submission that Yoruba don't take family seriously based on three plus one examples is fallaciou!!!!....what an experiment? Using 3 plus one to judge a WHOLE TRIBE....Go to Oyingbo and many other areas in Lagos and see many Iya chinyere without a husband..ask them...Baba Chinyere don waka!..I know atleast 5 Igbo families in my area without a Father, will I be right to say IGBO TRIBE DONT TAKE FAMILY SERIOUSLY?......pls be careful the kind of statement you make on public forum

Dz deep........ U make too much sense
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by femmyapson(m): 4:31pm On Sep 22, 2017
Gracesofar:
Hi everyone,

Am not an active nairalander although have been a guest for over 8 years. And am not an active supporter of people coming here to ask for advise but there is a saying a dead body is just another corpse except the person is related to you. Now I have issues that can affect my life and am humbly here asking for advise from people who were ones in my shoes and probably who are more experienced to see the handwriting on the wall. Please don't mind the long epistle for those who really have something to contribute.


I met this lady I will call her Ada. Not her real name though, I met her when I was in my 2nd year in the Nigerian defence academy. She was a friend to my cousin sister so during their passing out from secondary school to fulfill my words I went to greet my sister and I saw this Ada of a girl. Instantly I was captivated by her IQ and beauty and again she cleared all the medals and was the best graduating student. It goes by me saying when I got home on September pass that year, I asked my cousin sister about her and the rest. ....... Just what you are thinking. Anyway I didn't ask her out we became very good friends even though she's of IGbo tribe and am a full blooded Yoruba. We were close that my sister was jealous I was just 20 and she was 16 so asking her out was a capital No. Fast forward, the year she finished secondary school her mum contacted cancer and she was to get exposed to chemo-theraphy or what do they call it and Ada was so disturbed but even though phone was not allowed nothwithstanding I was always there to stand by her. She was so lucky because her mum survived it though she had to retire herself and become a full time housewife and apart she had fibroid issue again. So Ada got admission the year she finished secondary school to study Chemical engineering and when we chatted I realised she didn't know what she want from life. Shes also the only child of her parents so I couldn't blame her even her mum that should have helped talk to her about career is on the sick bed and her dad trust Igbo men I dnt need to tell u before u guys know he's into business. Anyway, we chatted a lot over the issue of her career and I told her God saved her mother from death why won't she save some other mums who ain't as rich as them but is suffering from same illness I advised her to go into the medical field and she agreed even though she was already in the university studying chemical engineering at 16. The truth is we were so in love with ourselves. To cut the long story short. She took jamb and the next year God engraved Ada and she got admitted to study medicine and surgery in an Eastern uni and that year I asked her out and she gave me a resounding yes I do. It goes by me saying she's my first and only love. And we lived so happily ever after

Fast forward, I am among the cadets who passed out of the academy this year and during my convocation and gala night I invited my love to come celebrate since my mum is coming and I see it as an avenue to introduce them even though they've spoken on phone countless times. Thanks to ASUU strike she was home during the ceremony. That night their driver brought her mother and my sweet Ada and immediately I introduced them to my family my mum fell in love with her. Even me I must confess she's so sweet to be with. So charming. Her mum met me too and I liked her a lot so mission 1 was successful both families were in love.

After the gala night, my mum gave them an invitation for my pop and even though HV given Ada one before but she was so happy my mum invited her she hugged my mum and I was so happy about my choice of woman. Because I lost my dad at a tender age and since then its been my mum and my fear has always been I dnt want a lady that won't respect or take my mum as her own.

Fast forward again 2 days after the gala night was my pop and my made sure my clowns and some other cadets I can trust made my mum and future in-laws very comfortable.after e program we entered the hall for my commissioning and pipping and only my mum was entitled to pip me of the 2Lt rank. Fast forward immediately I became an officer I went to hug my swthrt even b4 my sister and she was even the one holding my sword throughout we snapped and we were just so happy. And my mum was to wait for me in my cousins place since there will always be enough after party in vivianna, empire and other lounges in Kaduna by my coursemates. But I begged Ada's mum and I made sure she was there with me since I dnt drink, smoke or go out with women.

Fast forward again after the program and all the parties, I went to my uncles place where my mum and sister harbour and I was surprised mum gave me a car as a token for making her proud because I was in a private uni before but due to financial instability with my mum I had to abandon the uni and wen my mates were going to 500l as Medical laboratory scientist that was when I just got admitted to Nda. I was happy for my choice but to my mum its a sacrifice so when things became stable for her she decided to get me d car on my pop for a thank you keepsake. The mistake I made that is now about changing my live started there


After I was giving the car it was a Toyota Camry popularly called muscle by we Yoruba's. After the car I decided to take my relationship with Ada to the next level and I got some cheap ring that day and decided to propose to my 20 years old gf she was already going to her 400l then. I guessed I was yo forward anyway she I took her out that night to a cinema in barnawa Kaduna and after the play inside my new car I proposed to her and she gave me a perfect yes and for the first time in my life I had my first kiss with her. I told my mum and she thank God for z grace so far and she advised me to go see his dad. The advise was the big issue but what is about ruining my happy life z me going. Monday evening I went to their house in and parked outside, her mum was so happy seeing me and before long her dad came back and my car was blocking him from entering. Trust Igbo's and their pride he was just talking that who will come and block him in his own house etc. I apologised and he looked at me up and down like who are you.anyway we entered and dz man started questioning me that why will I bring my mothers car etc. I was just 23+ since my betday z 24.and again I am just tall and lanky. No muscle or little fat so I can be confused for a teenager. Anyway, I told him its my car and he started asking me about where I work to own such a car etc I was so confused because he sounded so hostile etc buh Ada came to my mercy and told him dz So so so so. His my friend HV been telling u about and his an officer in the army etc. The man was like so where u get the Ar if u just pass out. He was just talking about the car. Oboy and I wanted to tell him am not related to Evans but how will I. Afterwards the mum came and she served me some rice etc. On the dinning table the man started questionning me again where am from and I told him south west. There and then he started telling me about his Yoruba friend who are cheaters, wife beaters. Etc. Oboy the man na tribal bigot o. I was feeling so uneasy and i told him been a wife beater is not about tribe. Its about the individual man. As the man heard this he flared up and starting telling me her daughter can't marry Yoruba, they are unrefined etc. That no Igbo cheats or beat his wife. So on he even said Yoruba's are fraudsters that they like using big cars at their early life. Anyway I kept my cool thru all the torture. And finally after the dinner, we were chatting while watching nat geo wild and he asked about my family. I told him am from a broken home and my dad z late. Upon hearing that again he said you see that's what am saying Yoruba men are so so.

I won't say more but that night was worst than the day I saw my dad dying in the sick bed yesterday night. After it all I was going and obviously he didn't like me because of this Ada my long time gf could even see me to the gate. D gate man just open up and I drive out. Since then HV not contacted ada and she haven't contacted me.



PS. I love this lady a lot. Shes my first and only gf. Pls mature nairalanders wah do u advise. Her father is too tribalistic and is a racist. Buh am stuck and torn BTW two worlds. Giving up on her or staying attached nd defiling the eccentric father.alas I can't tell my mum. Trust Yoruba women them both go gree that lady go commit the ring the day she hears



Pls I need advise. From mature mind only.....

This mods lalasticlala help me out



Ask ur old village men about this?...Since her dad dont want you guys to date...Bro forget about her and move on
.U are just a 2nd lieutenant.... marriage should not be what you should be after now....wait till you are in a full lieutenant or captain....
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by vivalavida(m): 6:10pm On Sep 22, 2017
Intrepid01:


Oga, your submission that Yoruba don't take family seriously based on three plus one examples is fallaciou!!!!....what an experiment? Using 3 plus one to judge a WHOLE TRIBE....Go to Oyingbo and many other areas in Lagos and see many Iya chinyere without a husband..ask them...Baba Chinyere don waka!..I know atleast 5 Igbo families in my area without a Father, will I be right to say IGBO TRIBE DONT TAKE FAMILY SERIOUSLY?......pls be careful the kind of statement you make on public forum

Fat lie
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by rossyc(f): 7:41pm On Sep 22, 2017
Gracesofar:
Hi everyone,

Am not an active nairalander although have been a guest for over 8 years. And am not an active supporter of people coming here to ask for advise but there is a saying a dead body is just another corpse except the person is related to you. Now I have issues that can affect my life and am humbly here asking for advise from people who were ones in my shoes and probably who are more experienced to see the handwriting on the wall. Please don't mind the long epistle for those who really have something to contribute.


I met this lady I will call her Ada. Not her real name though, I met her when I was in my 2nd year in the Nigerian defence academy. She was a friend to my cousin sister so during their passing out from secondary school to fulfill my words I went to greet my sister and I saw this Ada of a girl. Instantly I was captivated by her IQ and beauty and again she cleared all the medals and was the best graduating student. It goes by me saying when I got home on September pass that year, I asked my cousin sister about her and the rest. ....... Just what you are thinking. Anyway I didn't ask her out we became very good friends even though she's of IGbo tribe and am a full blooded Yoruba. We were close that my sister was jealous I was just 20 and she was 16 so asking her out was a capital No. Fast forward, the year she finished secondary school her mum contacted cancer and she was to get exposed to chemo-theraphy or what do they call it and Ada was so disturbed but even though phone was not allowed nothwithstanding I was always there to stand by her. She was so lucky because her mum survived it though she had to retire herself and become a full time housewife and apart she had fibroid issue again. So Ada got admission the year she finished secondary school to study Chemical engineering and when we chatted I realised she didn't know what she want from life. Shes also the only child of her parents so I couldn't blame her even her mum that should have helped talk to her about career is on the sick bed and her dad trust Igbo men I dnt need to tell u before u guys know he's into business. Anyway, we chatted a lot over the issue of her career and I told her God saved her mother from death why won't she save some other mums who ain't as rich as them but is suffering from same illness I advised her to go into the medical field and she agreed even though she was already in the university studying chemical engineering at 16. The truth is we were so in love with ourselves. To cut the long story short. She took jamb and the next year God engraved Ada and she got admitted to study medicine and surgery in an Eastern uni and that year I asked her out and she gave me a resounding yes I do. It goes by me saying she's my first and only love. And we lived so happily ever after

Fast forward, I am among the cadets who passed out of the academy this year and during my convocation and gala night I invited my love to come celebrate since my mum is coming and I see it as an avenue to introduce them even though they've spoken on phone countless times. Thanks to ASUU strike she was home during the ceremony. That night their driver brought her mother and my sweet Ada and immediately I introduced them to my family my mum fell in love with her. Even me I must confess she's so sweet to be with. So charming. Her mum met me too and I liked her a lot so mission 1 was successful both families were in love.

After the gala night, my mum gave them an invitation for my pop and even though HV given Ada one before but she was so happy my mum invited her she hugged my mum and I was so happy about my choice of woman. Because I lost my dad at a tender age and since then its been my mum and my fear has always been I dnt want a lady that won't respect or take my mum as her own.

Fast forward again 2 days after the gala night was my pop and my made sure my clowns and some other cadets I can trust made my mum and future in-laws very comfortable.after e program we entered the hall for my commissioning and pipping and only my mum was entitled to pip me of the 2Lt rank. Fast forward immediately I became an officer I went to hug my swthrt even b4 my sister and she was even the one holding my sword throughout we snapped and we were just so happy. And my mum was to wait for me in my cousins place since there will always be enough after party in vivianna, empire and other lounges in Kaduna by my coursemates. But I begged Ada's mum and I made sure she was there with me since I dnt drink, smoke or go out with women.

Fast forward again after the program and all the parties, I went to my uncles place where my mum and sister harbour and I was surprised mum gave me a car as a token for making her proud because I was in a private uni before but due to financial instability with my mum I had to abandon the uni and wen my mates were going to 500l as Medical laboratory scientist that was when I just got admitted to Nda. I was happy for my choice but to my mum its a sacrifice so when things became stable for her she decided to get me d car on my pop for a thank you keepsake. The mistake I made that is now about changing my live started there


After I was giving the car it was a Toyota Camry popularly called muscle by we Yoruba's. After the car I decided to take my relationship with Ada to the next level and I got some cheap ring that day and decided to propose to my 20 years old gf she was already going to her 400l then. I guessed I was yo forward anyway she I took her out that night to a cinema in barnawa Kaduna and after the play inside my new car I proposed to her and she gave me a perfect yes and for the first time in my life I had my first kiss with her. I told my mum and she thank God for z grace so far and she advised me to go see his dad. The advise was the big issue but what is about ruining my happy life z me going. Monday evening I went to their house in and parked outside, her mum was so happy seeing me and before long her dad came back and my car was blocking him from entering. Trust Igbo's and their pride he was just talking that who will come and block him in his own house etc. I apologised and he looked at me up and down like who are you.anyway we entered and dz man started questioning me that why will I bring my mothers car etc. I was just 23+ since my betday z 24.and again I am just tall and lanky. No muscle or little fat so I can be confused for a teenager. Anyway, I told him its my car and he started asking me about where I work to own such a car etc I was so confused because he sounded so hostile etc buh Ada came to my mercy and told him dz So so so so. His my friend HV been telling u about and his an officer in the army etc. The man was like so where u get the Ar if u just pass out. He was just talking about the car. Oboy and I wanted to tell him am not related to Evans but how will I. Afterwards the mum came and she served me some rice etc. On the dinning table the man started questionning me again where am from and I told him south west. There and then he started telling me about his Yoruba friend who are cheaters, wife beaters. Etc. Oboy the man na tribal bigot o. I was feeling so uneasy and i told him been a wife beater is not about tribe. Its about the individual man. As the man heard this he flared up and starting telling me her daughter can't marry Yoruba, they are unrefined etc. That no Igbo cheats or beat his wife. So on he even said Yoruba's are fraudsters that they like using big cars at their early life. Anyway I kept my cool thru all the torture. And finally after the dinner, we were chatting while watching nat geo wild and he asked about my family. I told him am from a broken home and my dad z late. Upon hearing that again he said you see that's what am saying Yoruba men are so so.

I won't say more but that night was worst than the day I saw my dad dying in the sick bed yesterday night. After it all I was going and obviously he didn't like me because of this Ada my long time gf could even see me to the gate. D gate man just open up and I drive out. Since then HV not contacted ada and she haven't contacted me.



PS. I love this lady a lot. Shes my first and only gf. Pls mature nairalanders wah do u advise. Her father is too tribalistic and is a racist. Buh am stuck and torn BTW two worlds. Giving up on her or staying attached nd defiling the eccentric father.alas I can't tell my mum. Trust Yoruba women them both go gree that lady go commit the ring the day she hears



Pls I need advise. From mature mind only.....

This mods lalasticlala help me out
Well I read to the end. My advice goes this way, marriage is really deep and it's adviceable the parents are in support and gives their blessings. If you can get her mum talk to her dad that will be nice. Most parents don't like their children marrying from a particular tribe because of what they have seen or heard others go through so mostimes u don't blame them though the father was too harsh. You are still young same with the girl, why not let her graduate atleast? Never be in a hurry especially when dealing with marriage issues. As time goes on if the father can't be convinced I will advice you to move on, it might not be easy but its possible, time heals all wounds. If u guys marry and paraventure something goes wrong in the future her father will never forgive you.
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by rossyc(f): 7:59pm On Sep 22, 2017
Raydan:
but why can't Igbo's marry outside their tribe
It varies, depends on the family. Same with Yorubas and other tribes. Some families do not support inter-tribal marriage because of past experience or the bad aspect they have seen or heard about such tribe .
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by Nobody: 8:00pm On Sep 22, 2017
Take this piece of advice solja boy,

The father's stand about you being Yoruba is not a significant problem.

All you need do is show that you are different. Prove him wrong.

Win Ada's mum over completely and let Ada deliver the killer move by talking good of you to the dad.

Don't throw away love for a simple challenge that you can easily conquer.
Besides, love that is not challenged will always be weak. Now is about time that you want Ada to be your wife.

Those telling u that many fish dey ocean wan destroy ur life o.

Be wise.
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by Queerworld(m): 8:47am On Sep 23, 2017
Gracesofar:


U like sarma D least of my worries now is sarma. Wait its like ur father have one sister? U want to issue me?? Arm of u want sef. Kai cadet u will issue me ur sister is dah clear?

And I will advise u not to show annoyance. Dnt get it twisted. Officer cadre does not stop me from doing job. Hope u know I can still make u dash? I will shamelessly remove dz one star and knacker 2 bars for u.


Don't let that ur 4 bars deceive u o. Even white men dey dash

Sir my sister can't see an officer sir. She can't even see a whiteman talk more of an officer

Godfada how will u make your boy dash. Sir but jokes apart have never seeing u doing job before o. Even as a cadet corporal and cadet sergeant. I remember one time at junction u were the sergeant on duty and I was not dressing probably even with my 2 bars. Instead of doing job. U were dressing for me that day and advising me how koronge a cadet should look



Sir I doubt you it of u can make a cadet dash. Yourself and BSUO UE NWAMA. U were the Academy Mummy and now u r gone he's the Academy mummy.


Sir seriously I will miss u a lot o. I just reached ibadan now sef.

Permission sir
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by Queerworld(m): 9:08am On Sep 23, 2017
Gracesofar:


Meanwhile. U take 1. U will cancel ur name in my culprit list. Even if na in officer cadre


Sir officer cadre? Suicide malice. Sir lemme just hang up and sit on my head here and now. I will do job with my sef
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by ayokellany: 9:15am On Sep 23, 2017
Gracesofar:

I guess you never thought you'd need anyone advice cos life feels too good. Here is my advice, I will start by saying you are very UNWISE by telling an in-law cheating is not a Yoruba thing, it matter little if you are a military guy or not. The man ask that question for one reason and it's simply for you to allay is fear on the issue. If you are smart you'd know all you need do is sweet talk him that nothing of sort will ever happen.

Give resounding reason to see the difference in you, as a frequent guest of NL you should have an idea what generalising a situation is about. To cut the long story short reach out to your girl immediately and facilitate a "reacquaintance" with the father where you'd act n genuinely let him know he's right, possibly chip in a word or two about how terrible you acted on your first acquaintance but do not dwell on it.

It baffling people fumble opportunity at impressing in-laws I pride myself at in-law tripping when they meet me and am talking the strictest of bigots. Just be obedient respectful smile here and there, put your brain to work do not go contrary to their views except it is enough reason to lose the relationship and that's it.
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by Gracesofar(m): 4:19pm On Sep 23, 2017
Queerworld:


Sir my sister can't see an officer sir. She can't even see a whiteman talk more of an officer

Godfada how will u make your boy dash. Sir but jokes apart have never seeing u doing job before o. Even as a cadet corporal and cadet sergeant. I remember one time at junction u were the sergeant on duty and I was not dressing probably even with my 2 bars. Instead of doing job. U were dressing for me that day and advising me how koronge a cadet should look



Sir I doubt you it of u can make a cadet dash. Yourself and BSUO UE NWAMA. U were the Academy Mummy and now u r gone he's the Academy mummy.


Sir seriously I will miss u a lot o. I just reached ibadan now sef.

Permission sir


Its me DAT m a shayi pot ba? As per my head z steaming hot shayi? Its bcoz I didn't carry u for job. Anyway congrats with ur journey. I shud also be in ibadan tomorrow evening..

Nwama z a very coming up cadet
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by Gracesofar(m): 4:31pm On Sep 23, 2017
Queerworld:


Sir my sister can't see an officer sir. She can't even see a whiteman talk more of an officer

Godfada how will u make your boy dash. Sir but jokes apart have never seeing u doing job before o. Even as a cadet corporal and cadet sergeant. I remember one time at junction u were the sergeant on duty and I was not dressing probably even with my 2 bars. Instead of doing job. U were dressing for me that day and advising me how koronge a cadet should look



Sir I doubt you it of u can make a cadet dash. Yourself and BSUO UE NWAMA. U were the Academy Mummy and now u r gone he's the Academy mummy.


Sir seriously I will miss u a lot o. I just reached ibadan now sef.

Permission sir


My posting came out Na infantry I dey. Am 80 percent sure Borno will soon call.

Its just an impasse situation I can't dodge for. And just like mayowa said. Death will soon come knocking. I just pray I won't open the door for it anytime soon ....


Pray for me o. Borno z around d corner
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by Queerworld(m): 7:01pm On Sep 23, 2017
Gracesofar:


My posting came out Na infantry I dey. Am 80 percent sure Borno will soon call.

Its just an impasse situation I can't dodge for. And just like mayowa said. Death will soon come knocking. I just pray I won't open the door for it anytime soon ....


Pray for me o. Borno z around d corner

Wow. Hmm it is well sir. Probably let's mark time to see where you will get deployed too...


But borno is undebatable though. Sir I wish u all the best


I will call my rooms to know about his own




Permission sir
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by Lemeechi: 7:40pm On Sep 23, 2017
Your story is not uncommon. When a man like Ada's dad reacts like that it's usually due to unpleasant life experiences. I know of situations where Lagos landlords refused to rent their apartments to people just because they were Igbo. I grew up in a mixed ethnic family, so that also is not uncommon. I'll advise you to be patient with Ada's dad. Contact Ada by any means possible and hear her mind. Go to their house whenever you can, talk to the mother to plead with the dad. If Ada truly loves you, she will not have anything to do with another guy. When the dad realizes this he will have no option than to accept you, for Ada's sake.
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by DeBlunt: 9:40pm On Sep 23, 2017
Gracesofar:


My posting came out Na infantry I dey. Am 80 percent sure Borno will soon call.

Its just an impasse situation I can't dodge for. And just like mayowa said. Death will soon come knocking. I just pray I won't open the door for it anytime soon ....


Pray for me o. Borno z around d corner

My story is very similar to yours, infact so similar it put a smile on my face after reading yours cos I can relate. I serve in the military too (British Army), joined after I graduated from the university in the UK. I had a girlfriend while in Uni, who was a student at the time.
Fast forward couple of years later, she relocated to Nigeria after her studies but I was still in the Army, based in UK. I decided it was time to make things formal after four years of being together. I flew down to Nigeria to meet her folks but her mom especially refused to meet me. I spent a week in Lagos waiting for the mom to change her mind and at least invite me for a chat but she refused cos I was from a different tribe (their tribe is Nupe), she said "she didn't want to encourage me" grin.
In the end, I had to fly back to UK cos my leave was over and I was deploying in a few days. I felt bad about the whole thing and especially for my girlfriend but there's nothing I can do than to hope and pray they change their mind. Bigotry is really big in naija . I hope yours works out, keep the faith.
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by Gracesofar(m): 9:58pm On Sep 23, 2017
DeBlunt:


My story is very similar to yours, infact so similar it put a smile on my face after reading yours cos I can relate. I serve in the military too (British Army), joined after I graduated from the university in the UK. I had a girlfriend while in Uni, who was a student at the time.
Fast forward couple of years later, she relocated to Nigeria after her studies but I was still in the Army, based in UK. I decided it was time to make things formal after four years of being together. I flew down to Nigeria to meet her folks but her mom especially refused to meet me. I spent a week in Lagos waiting for the mom to change her mind and at least invite me for a chat but she refused cos I was from a different tribe (their tribe is Nupe), she said "she didn't want to encourage me" grin.
In the end, I had to fly back to UK cos my leave was over and I was deploying in a few days. I felt bad about the whole thing and especially for my girlfriend but there's nothing I can do than to hope and pray they change their mind. Bigotry is really big in naija . I hope yours works out, keep the faith.

Wow nice one..... Buh y British army. Why not come serve and probably someday die for your father land. British and Nigeria won't always be in allegiance u know. Whatz the rank sir
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by DeBlunt: 10:04pm On Sep 23, 2017
Gracesofar:


Wow nice one..... Buh y British army. Why not come serve and probably someday die for your father land. British and Nigeria won't always be in allegiance u know. Whatz the rank sir

It wasn't planned bro but all the same we serve the same the same purpose. I was in borno last year with my Regiment for a training exercise with the Nigerian army. Was in Sierra Leone as well during the ebola outbreak to provide medical assistant. So I do my bit but on an international level. It's all about service to mankind wink
Re: Confused........ Experienced People Should Help by Gracesofar(m): 10:09pm On Sep 23, 2017
DeBlunt:


It wasn't planned bro but all the same we serve the same the same purpose. I was in borno last year with my Regiment for a training exercise with the Nigerian army. Was in Sierra Leone as well during the ebola outbreak to provide medical assistant. So I do my bit but on an international level. It's all about service to mankind wink

Which corp are u sir....... I just got posted to infantry passed out exactly a week ago in the prestigious academy. And whatz the rank


I was even anticipating intelligence or ordinance corp.

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