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Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Nobody: 7:03pm On Oct 08, 2017
gidjah:
hmmm ok, if u don't mnd , we can talk off the radar.permit me to intrude do u ?
Yeah! No problem
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by charley94: 7:10pm On Oct 08, 2017
EzekielMab:



I'm 25 and in similar shoes as you.
I hardly go out too.

I have never had a gf before even in university days.

I have seen girls like me and shown it but Im always shy to ask them out or get closer

I have missed out on up to 6 girls in this similar issues from secondary school to university.

1 even tried in high school then ... From Jss2-ss3 , but was shy to start a convo with her and get closer
The part when you know that a girl likes you and has shown you green light, but still shy to ask her out. I understand very well, cos I have been in similar situation
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by gidjah(m): 7:11pm On Oct 08, 2017
Your case isn't a complex one , you just need to come out of that shell , you are already a working class Right?, try get along with nice friends, get sociable too, try creating comfortable environment round u, believe me, there are lots of people who wanna be good friends with you, some ladies wanna flow around you , they love your personality, the true you, but you built a wall they can't seem to cross , you need to lower your fence ,try creating a smile from within create lil communication even with neighbors, try going to weddings, social gatherings ....church programmes etc, there you will get great acquaintances , get good books in com skills too, you will definitely improve sir, I was once like you, if not even worst, no friends in the Uni days, until a simple , dodged and very optimistic lady came and dragged me into Rotary Club.And ever since then I became a public speaker till date
EzekielMab:



I'm 25 and in similar shoes as you.
I hardly go out too.

I have never had a gf before even in university days.

I have seen girls like me and shown it but Im always shy to ask them out or get closer

I have missed out on up to 6 girls in this similar issues from secondary school to university.

1 even tried in high school then ... From Jss2-ss3 , but was shy to start a convo with her and get closer

2 Likes

Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by gidjah(m): 7:15pm On Oct 08, 2017
Pynkylypz:
Yeah! No problem
thanks .
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Nobody: 7:17pm On Oct 08, 2017
gidjah:
thanks .
Don't mention
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Mcy56(f): 2:56pm On Oct 09, 2017
ariklawani:
Being an Introvert is by nature. Most introverts are born in October and Mostly November.

Just saw this thread now, pls how true could this be cos I'm an introvert and born in Nov.?

Also, I read somewhere that introverts marry late, how true is this?
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Windflower(f): 3:11pm On Oct 09, 2017
gidjah:
but you built a wall they can't seem to cross , you need to lower your fence
I totally relate with this,but is it all introvert that has this problem cos I do. I find it hard to let people in,Is it just a normal thing or does it has to do with being an introvert
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Windflower(f): 3:15pm On Oct 09, 2017
Mcy56:


Just saw this thread now, pls how true could this be cos I'm an introvert and born in Nov.?

Also, I read somewhere that introverts marry late, how true is this?
Hmmm,I need an answer to the question above too.
I mean if an introvert doesn't socialize or relate with people,then how does such a person settle down.
I am 24,and the only event that I have attended is just one wedding which I was forced to go. I guess that's the disadvantage of being an introvert.
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by gidjah(m): 5:33pm On Oct 09, 2017
[quote author=Windflower post=61255282][/quote]its basically an introvert thing ,(though very very few people do d same ).most of us that are describe as intros find it hard to accommodate people out side our kind, we get do deep emotionally that it reflects in the way we communicate, some of us can be very mono syllabic in communication, others just don't like to talk much,others hate been wearried with long speech , they are just not good with a second party for a long while.believe me this happens to me til date,but I have adopted the attitude of modifications,so to a long way I can take in more people around me when it comes only to "mature /scriptural talk ", (no politics,no football, no gossip)I can minister to a large crowd,lecture (as in my case )and counsel groups too.but any kind of talk outside this categories wearries me out fast and you begin to notice my less talk and gradual withdrawal from such group.
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 5:54pm On Oct 09, 2017
Mcy56:


Just saw this thread now, pls how true could this be cos I'm an introvert and born in Nov.?

Also, I read somewhere that introverts marry late, how true is this?

Windflower:

Hmmm,I need an answer to the question above too.
I mean if an introvert doesn't socialize or relate with people,then how does such a person settle down.
I am 24,and the only event that I have attended is just one wedding which I was forced to go. I guess that's the disadvantage of being an introvert.

1) It is completely fallacious (without any iota of factual verifiable truth) that most introverts are born in October and November. To the contrary, a UK study actually even suggests November-born children appear least susceptible to depression (October-born least likely to have Bipolar PD) and January-born ones tend to talk the least. Now, all of these are just research studies and not even completely factual science. There is no proof that month of birth can affect personality although there are predictions that the seasons may partly influence personality. I'm an introvert and I was born in Summer time, not Fall.

2) Well, it is easy to conclude that Introverts marry late through Inductive Reasoning. Introverts don't socialize easily, they prefer their own company and they over-analyse small issues extroverts overlook. Now, those three factors would ordinarily mean 'late marriage.' However, there are other factors such as culture, wealth, tradition and environment, all of which may actually favour an introvert in certain situations. So, in essence, INTROVERTS DO NOT NECESSARILY MARRY LATE. In fact, I personally think Introvert ladies are not as affected as men since our society makes men do the "hard" social part.

In conclusion, Introversion may come with its own disadvantages but many things attributed to it aren't even true. Most introverts are very easily lovable people except for those who don't understand them and therefore label them as all sorts.

2 Likes

Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Nelsizzy(m): 6:31pm On Oct 09, 2017
Hello guys
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Windflower(f): 10:06pm On Oct 09, 2017
DonOms:



2) Well, it is easy to conclude that Introverts marry late through Inductive Reasoning. Introverts don't socialize easily, they prefer their own company and they over-analyse small issues extroverts overlook. Now, those three factors would ordinarily mean 'late marriage.' However, there are other factors such as culture, wealth, tradition and environment, all of which may actually favour an introvert in certain situations. So, in essence, INTROVERTS DO NOT NECESSARILY MARRY LATE. In fact, I personally think Introvert ladies are not as affected as men since our society makes men do the "hard" social part.

In conclusion, Introversion may come with its own disadvantages but many things attributed to it aren't even true. Most introverts are very easily lovable people except for those who don't understand them and therefore label them as all sorts.
Waow,you really understand the introvert nature,but I think introverted ladies are as affected as men too.

1 Like

Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Windflower(f): 10:17pm On Oct 09, 2017
gidjah:
.
For me,its takes me time to trust and open up to people,I can only do this if I feel comfortable around you
Yes,I get you. Its happened today,a colleague was initiating a conversation but was just not in the mood to be chitty chatty,which people tend to mistake for pride.
I can also talk to a crowd as long as it is work related
People tend to look at introvert like they ain't normal which is beginning to get to me already.

1 Like

Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 11:04pm On Oct 09, 2017
Windflower:

Waow,you really understand the introvert nature,but I think introverted ladies are as affected as men too.

Well, you may not be wrong about your opinion since you are a lady and I'm not, clearly. But here are the reasons why I suggested introverted ladies may not be as affected as their male counterparts: In our society, the male species approach the female with his intention to have a relationship with her. He scouts, he schemes, he impresses, he blows his 'horn,' he literally attempts to win over her affections and prove himself a worthy mate in the sea of lurking men. What does the lady do? She literally 'positions' herself to be seen, she makes herself attractive both in personality and physically; yes, she might also attempt to seduce (or attract) her kind of person.

Given all of that to be true, would you not agree with me that the social demand to get a life mate is more on the introverted man than it is on the introverted female? Yes, I agree it might as well not be easy for the female introvert to put herself out there to be 'seen' by a potential suitor since she favours locking herself in and within. But as far as social interactions go, men are notorious in finding women once an attraction takes place. Don't tell me as a lady going your way quietly at some street corner, you haven't had a guy walk up to you and tell you how he has been noticing you in your neighborhood for weeks, and tries to woo you.

I understand the social struggles can be as real for the female introvert as it is for the male, but when it comes to marriage I strongly believe the female introvert should have less (maybe just a very small disparity) to worry about than her male counterpart. The only real contradiction in my stance maybe, is the recent social trend where trust is becoming a rarer virtue found in both men and women hence making blissful social unions more unattainable.

2 Likes

Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by taiocol: 12:25am On Oct 10, 2017
I need your help guys
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Olarewajub: 1:58am On Oct 10, 2017
taiocol:
I need your help guys


What's the problem?

1 Like

Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by gidjah(m): 10:22am On Oct 10, 2017
We all are like that once in a while ...as a matter of honesty,most intros do not like opening up to people around save very few trusted peeps.they also don't know when to even be in the mood to talk!I am also guilty of this charge.my strength lies totally in my been quiet, and I always want to be quiet.you let them understand its not pride,its just your kind of person .I hope you great them, i hope you ask about their families once a while too?,I have modified my character towards that area. And it pays well now.they take it for pride only if you are very snubby ,you don't great, you don't show "some level of care'etc.all the same most of us intros are like. That(though some are able to put up some modifications in some aspects of their attitude )
Windflower:

For me,its takes me time to trust and open up to people,I can only do this if I feel comfortable around you
Yes,I get you. Its happened today,a colleague was initiating a conversation but was just not in the mood to be chitty chatty,which people tend to mistake for pride.
I can also talk to a crowd as long as it is work related
People tend to look at introvert like they ain't normal which is beginning to get to me already.
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 10:45am On Oct 10, 2017
Olarewajub:



What's the problem?

I really love the picture you attached. It really explains how I believe many introverts feel.

@ taiocol

Speak, people are listening (or reading).
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by taiocol: 11:00am On Oct 10, 2017
Olarewajub:



What's the problem?

people have been complaining too much about the way I choose to live. from the guys to the Ladies. There feel I don't engage in discussion with them unless am called upon. One of them even claimed that numerous of his female friends has been complaining too.




I think it has eaten deep into the soul
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Mcy56(f): 11:50am On Oct 10, 2017
DonOms:


Thanks for this eye opening write up.
For me now I find it hard to make friends, just need a friend for a start to chart and share with, preferrably a male cos women gossip a lot and Im not that type, Im someone that's always conscious of what anyone will say about me and I hate pple going behind my back, I detest a wayward fellow, the set of people around me are just not my kind, thus making me to keep more to myself
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 2:38pm On Oct 10, 2017
Mcy56:


Thanks for this eye opening write up.
For me now I find it hard to make friends, just need a friend for a start to chart and share with, preferrably a male cos women gossip a lot and Im not that type, Im someone that's always conscious of what anyone will say about me and I hate pple going behind my back, I detest a wayward fellow, the set of people around me are just not my kind, thus making me to keep more to myself

You're welcome.

I understand your kind of personality as I've met people who want exactly what you want in a friend for the exact same reason you stated.
The interesting thing is that it is only innate to desire companionship and have trustworthy people to want to share with, so even the most introverted of persons are not excluded from this need.
I can assure you there are people out there who meet your criteria of friendship, albeit few perhaps.
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 3:18pm On Oct 10, 2017
taiocol:


people have been complaining too much about the way I choose to live. from the guys to the Ladies. There feel I don't engage in discussion with them unless am called upon. One of them even claimed that numerous of his female friends has been complaining too.


I think it has eaten deep into the soul

Before @Olarewajub comes around to answer you, let me just say this: PLEASE AND PLEASE, DON'T LET OTHERS' COMPLAINTS ABOUT YOUR PERSONALITY EAT DEEP INTO YOUR SOUL AND MAKE YOU WORRIED (Except you mean it ate deep into the soul of the complainers). People will always complain about you so ensure you weigh their grievances very well and understand what their motives are. If it makes sense and you can adjust to their demands, try a little; if not, move on to other people who will not mind that you choose to keep quiet during a discussion.

2 Likes

Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Dasherz(f): 5:43pm On Oct 10, 2017
okay I have been following this thread steadily

I am an introvert and it is really difficult trying to keep up with a family full of extroverts .. i wake up every morning and I''m like gosh!!! another day ... yes I've been written off so many times and it always hurts especially coming form people in your circle of trust. I hate being me most times cos it feels like I am always alone .. I am in my penultimate year in the university and still don't have that one person I can call a friend

about relationships
I have been in a couple of relationships and guess what
ONLINE DATING .. because i don't go out, i hate the eyes, people staring, people that want to know me and it is eating me I do feel left out in almost everything

given a choice i would not choose to be an introvert

I need help please cry cry cry cry cry

1 Like

Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Melsan: 8:44pm On Oct 10, 2017
@DonOms and gidjah..Nice one!!!
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Nobody: 9:39pm On Oct 10, 2017
Hello fellow introverts. I stumbled in this thread not too long ago and I'm glad I did. It's good and relieving that they are people who have similar physiological variations with me. Thought I was the only one. Anyway I'm glad I've find my caucus and I hope it's gonna be a fun filled and educative one.

#Proud_To_Be_An_Introvert.

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Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Nobody: 9:52pm On Oct 10, 2017
Good Day fellow introverts wink

I have this question please. Which is personality is better for an introvert to get along with, as far as dating and relationship is concerned?

If extrovert, won't their be clash of interest or whatsoever?

If introvert, won't the relationship looks too boring?
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by charley94: 10:41pm On Oct 10, 2017
Neyoor:
Good Day fellow introverts wink

I have this question please. Which is personality is better for an introvert to get along with, as far as dating and relationship is concerned?

If extrovert, won't their be clash of interest or whatsoever?

If introvert, won't the relationship looks too boring?
just find someone that gets you. And you guys would be good together

2 Likes

Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Nobody: 11:43pm On Oct 10, 2017
Simi - For me
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by adebayo3449(m): 6:27am On Oct 11, 2017
Am to you all
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 9:07am On Oct 11, 2017
Neyoor:
Good Day fellow introverts wink

I have this question please. Which is personality is better for an introvert to get along with, as far as dating and relationship is concerned?

If extrovert, won't their be clash of interest or whatsoever?

If introvert, won't the relationship looks too boring?

In my opinion, the truth of the matter is that there is no "one size fits all" when it comes to the personality of the perfect partner of an introvert. I don't also think that compatibility of mates through personality assessment is an exact science since exceptions always arise.

If an introvert marries an extrovert, you cannot predict a clash of interest because several factors are always involved when it comes to interest. Factors like fantasies, domesticated beliefs, environment, individual differences e.t.c. Suppose an extroverted male prefers to marry a wife who will be drawn towards the home and not be quite the life of the party. If it so happens that this man marries an introverted lady who shares certain common interests with him, there is a good chance they won't have problems associated with each other's personality. (NB: Many introverts easily accept the life of an extrovert and don't feel the urge to 'change' or overbear the extrovert).
It could also happen that an extrovert-introvert relationship can be turbulent with clashes of interests. But really, it all boils down to understanding and love and maturity.

On the other hand, Introverts marrying each other MIGHT perhaps have the best chance of having compatible personalities. If both introverts understand introversion and have accepted it, they would do things in their own interesting way and not feel any boredom in marriage. Extroverts observing their marriage may see boredom but the couple might just be on a merry ride of fun in their own way.
Of course if one or both of the introvert couple have not embraced introversion and desire to be extroverted, it is easy to feel boredom in the union and it can potentially lead to separation.

So basically, an introvert can do well with both an introvert and an extrovert if the "settings" are right.
In the final analysis, I think there are two things to note as regards your questions: 1) The introvert must indeed genuinely know herself/himself because I guarantee you many people do not know/understand themselves.
2) Know what you want in a potential spouse and be sure that potential spouse knows what they want in you. While this might not be so easy, it isn't impossible with communication, love, understanding and definitely an added advantage of the God-factor.

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Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 9:14am On Oct 11, 2017
adebayo3449:
Am to you all
Good morning.
Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by gidjah(m): 7:02pm On Oct 12, 2017
Melsan:
@DonOms and gidjah..Nice one!!!
sister mi,bawoni, been long, u forgot ypur bros abi?

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