Pynkylypz:
Not easy oo, my dear..

Dasherz:

are you princess?

Pynkylypz:
Not easy oo, my dear..

sweet souls..

locust:

sweet souls..

Aww. Thanks dear

locust:

sweet souls..

hey. . king of introverts

Pynkylypz:
Cc: gidjah

gd eve sis Hw r u maam?sorry I have been pretty busy lately,so many targets to meet,but my schedules are begining to ease off now.hw u doing ma?,let me check my box

gidjah:
gd eve sis Hw r u maam?sorry I have been pretty busy lately,so many targets to meet,but my schedules are begining to ease off now.hw u doing ma?,let me check my box

Good morning.. I am fine dear.. No prob. sir

charley94:

You just said same thing I am going through right now. I can be very chatty with my fellow guys, but whenever I find myself in the midst of ladies, even if it's just one, I will just off and find it difficult to keep conversation. it's a bother also, though I am still young , but I tell myself if I continue like this , I no go marry o

preciousuweh:


please Fellow introverts, any suggestions on how to overcome this problem.

Truth be told, being 'shy' around the opposite sex is an issue that goes beyond the scope of introversion ... suffice to say, it is not exactly an introversion problem. However, that is another different issue so we'll just leave it.

For the average person experiencing shyness/social anxiety around the opposite sex, the root cause centres around three things: Overthinking, Lack of confidence and what I'll call Biology.

Overthinking is when you think as a guy, talking with a fellow guy (which is done easily) is different from talking to a lady (which is then found to be difficult). You subconsciously overthink what the lady thinks of you, you overthink what she thinks of your voice, your clothing, your looks and even your grammar. The truth is, when you meet new people they build a mental résumé for you and consider all those things you're overthinking anyway. So what should you do about this info? Ignore It. Yes, ignore it. You can't tell what they'll like or hate anyway because we are all different individuals. And you're just having a conversation with them not proposing marriage, so no big deal. The worst that could happen is that they won't be interested in talking to you for long and you both can go your separate ways - no qualms. So quit overthinking as it won't help in any way. It will only hinder you from having a decent conversation with a potentially lovely person. Just talk to them as you would someone of the same sex, just be polite and reasonable is all. You might do well to know what interests the lady and discuss topics around that. Don't go talking about soccer to a lady that detests it, she'll run away; and don't use cliché pick-up lines, if she's smart she will run too - just flow naturally and don't talk with the intentions of wooing or getting to know her. Talk to her as though she were a guy.

Confidence is a clear-cut concept and we all understand what it means. Just believe in yourself. And like Nike's slogan, Just Do It!. Ever seen a guy shabbily dressed and speaking English laden with grammatical blunders wooing a refined-looking lady on the street? That's confidence! Whether or not he has a chance, na you sabi that one. And the only way to get confidence is to Build It. Do the uncomfortable and leave your comfort zone. Say that little extra when talking to waitresses, or colleagues or classmates, people inclined to reply you really. Just don't overdo it. The idea is to feel relaxed talking to the opposite sex and building confidence, not being presumptuous or a nuisance.

As for Biology, this is a deeper psychological talk so let's just leave it. The idea is that it's one of the causes of the issue being discussed and unlike overthinking and confidence, it doesn't exactly have a "solution." But once the first two are overcome, 'Biology' will be suppressed and won't be a problem.

locust:

brother, my introversion has no rivalry.

and what makes you think so

I don't know if it suits the depressing thread or this one, but i am sure to get inputs here.


So i have these moments where iimagine am in the center of chaos. Chaos like full on war, people being cut down, blood spilling everywhere, babies crying clutching on to their dead moms corpse, fathers weeping over their dead sons. Some choking on their blood, smokes in the sky that has seemed to eclipse the sun, temperature falling rapidly like it's about to rain and a young baby girl not far from my feet crawling towards where am seated sobbing after growing tired of crying. I am in the middle of that and some sort of melancholic song is playing from a distance, like from a violin, depressing at the same time bringing some sort of calm to it all even as the chaos is still raging on and just when the song is about closing the chaos gradually ebbs till there is none anymore at this point the young baby girl is in my hands holding tightly to me as she sleeps as the temperature becomes very cold and everywhere becomes deafening silent.


I don't know why i have it, something wrong?

Blackfyre:
I don't know if it suits the depressing thread or this one, but i am sure to get inputs here.


So i have these moments where iimagine am in the center of chaos. Chaos like full on war, people being cut down, blood spilling everywhere, babies crying clutching on to their dead moms corpse, fathers weeping over their dead sons. Some choking on their blood, smokes in the sky that has seemed to eclipse the sun, temperature falling rapidly like it's about to rain and a young baby girl not far from my feet crawling towards where am seated sobbing after growing tired of crying. I am in the middle of that and some sort of melancholic song is playing from a distance, like from a violin, depressing at the same time bringing some sort of calm to it all even as the chaos is still raging on and just when the song is about closing the chaos gradually ebbs till there is none anymore at this point the young baby girl is in my hands holding tightly to me as she sleeps as the temperature becomes very cold and everywhere becomes deafening silent.


I don't know why i have it, something wrong?

You mean Daydreams?

Talkwell:


You mean Daydreams?

Sort of.

Blackfyre:
I don't know if it suits the depressing thread or this one, but i am sure to get inputs here.


So i have these moments where iimagine am in the center of chaos. Chaos like full on war, people being cut down, blood spilling everywhere, babies crying clutching on to their dead moms corpse, fathers weeping over their dead sons. Some choking on their blood, smokes in the sky that has seemed to eclipse the sun, temperature falling rapidly like it's about to rain and a young baby girl not far from my feet crawling towards where am seated sobbing after growing tired of crying. I am in the middle of that and some sort of melancholic song is playing from a distance, like from a violin, depressing at the same time bringing some sort of calm to it all even as the chaos is still raging on and just when the song is about closing the chaos gradually ebbs till there is none anymore at this point the young baby girl is in my hands holding tightly to me as she sleeps as the temperature becomes very cold and everywhere becomes deafening silent.


I don't know why i have it, something wrong?

I personally think you're being jocose with this question which is most likely an example of the vivid imaginations you've developed burying yourself in books and films and what have you.

However, in the event that you're being serious, you need to answer these questions:
1) How often do you have these "moments of imagination"?
2) Do you get the same exact picture as you described, or it gets slightly varied or different ones on different occasions?
3) Do you know if you are (or have been) depressed?
4) Do you have any memory of an event which may have triggered these imaginations, whether it's a coincident or linked event?

If you answer these, it might help to know what the issue might be. That's if the imaginations are truly imprinted and not some cheap way of showing your artistic workmanship.

Blackfyre:


Sort of.

We all have those


I even cry

Take your mind of it,find something doing

or Sleep

An idle mind is Beelzebub's workshop

DonOms:


I personally think you're being jocose with this question which is most likely an example of the vivid imaginations you've developed burying yourself in books and films and what have you.

However, in the event that you're being serious, you need to answer these questions:
1) How often do you have these "moments of imagination"?
2) Do you get the same exact picture as you described, or it gets slightly varied or different ones on different occasions?
3) Do you know if you are (or have been) depressed?
4) Do you have any memory of an event which may have triggered these imaginations, whether it's a coincident or linked event?

If you answer these, it might help to know what the issue might be. That's if the imaginations are truly imprinted and not some cheap way of showing your artistic workmanship.

Lol, i am flattered you call it artistic workmanship

1) Not often, just when something feels amiss in the world can't place the something tho.
2) It slightly varies, this is mild. In most cases its very violent and i snap out of it.
3)Often accompanies it, brings about a relief tho.
4)Let's see, none whatsoever. But i remember often watching news that showed war torn countries, famine or drought and how helpless those kids in particular are from Somalia to the middle east.

I hardly read such books, havent read any so far, movies not fascinated by such movies. I think what triggers it most is when i see people bicker over the most irrelevant things or take for granted certain things or hold trivial matters when somewhere else, somebody is facing life threatening situations, that part of the world is virtually upside down.

Blackfyre:



Lol, i am flattered you call it artistic workmanship

1) Not often, just when something feels amiss in the world can't place the something tho.
2) It slightly varies, this is mild. In most cases its very violent and i snap out of it.
3)Often accompanies it, brings about a relief tho.
4)Let's see, none whatsoever. But i remember often watching news that showed war torn countries, famine or drought and how helpless those kids in particular are from Somalia to the middle east.

I hardly read such books, havent read any so far, movies not fascinated by such movies. I think what triggers it most is when i see people bicker over the most irrelevant things or take for granted certain things or hold trivial matters when somewhere else, somebody is facing life threatening situations, that part of the world is virtually upside down.

The one question I forgot to type is, "how long has it been happening i.e. from the time you had the first imagination?"

Anyway, in my opinion, I don't think there is anything wrong with you. The imagination may just be a projection of some reality you have recently come to become more aware of. Like you said about what you think triggers it, the imagination roots in your consciousness of your environment and your disapproval of others' obliviousness to the suffering around us all.

Suffice to say, it is just a passing phase I think. It will surely pass. If you can, you can write about these imaginations whether in poetry or prose form. It might help you come to terms with it and easily move on from it, especially as you begin to realise what lie within and beyond your powers, as regards the imagination. Like Talkwell said, take your mind off it and it will fade in no time.

Should you feel too disturbed about the imaginations or if my suggestions don't work, you may want to see a psychologist.

DonOms:


The one question I forgot to type is, "how long has it been happening i.e. from the time you had the first imagination?"

Anyway, in my opinion, I don't think there is anything wrong with you. The imagination may just be a projection of some reality you have recently come to become more aware of. Like you said about what you think triggers it, the imagination roots in your consciousness of your environment and your disapproval of others' obliviousness to the suffering around us all.

Suffice to say, it is just a passing phase I think. It will surely pass. If you can, you can write about these imaginations whether in poetry or prose form. It might help you come to terms with it and easily move on from it, especially as you begin to realise what lie within and beyond your powers, as regards the imagination. Like Talkwell said, take your mind off it and it will fade in no time.

Should you feel too disturbed about the imaginations or if my suggestions don't work, you may want to see a psychologist.

Why did you have to be the one to say this, I just forgot to add it.

That's honestly the solution,the only problem is not being able to complete it.

..

Blackfyre:


... [Truncated Post]

Yeah i did write some down, did alot of that. The worry is about wanting to bring it to reality.

Definitely hope it's a passing phase, thanks anyway.

@ the bolded: Are you saying you have a compulsion to create/enact that imagination? If this is the case, then the issue MAY be a different thing than what I was saying before. While I'm not saying it may be a neurosis (since you have not been fully analysed/evaluated), I think you may need to talk to a psychologist, especially if you're very concerned.

DonOms:


@ the bolded: Are you saying you have a compulsion to create/enact that imagination? If this is the case, then the issue MAY be a different thing than what I was saying before. While I'm not saying it may be a neurosis (since you have not been fully analysed/evaluated), I think you may need to talk to a psychologist, especially if you're very concerned.

Not a compulsion, but it naturally happening so people see life in facets

Blackfyre:


Not a compulsion, but it naturally happening so people see life in facets

Okay.

Came across this piece... good read

You’re More Powerful Than You Think

Originally published by Stephen Guise on his personal website.

“If you want to be tougher mentally, it is simple: Be tougher. Don’t meditate on it.” These words of Jocko’s helped one listener — a drug addict — get sober after many failed attempts. The simple logic struck a chord: “Being tougher” was, more than anything, a decision to be tougher. It’s possible to immediately “be tougher,” starting with your next decision.”

-Tim Ferriss and Jocko Willink in Tools of Titans

Imagine a superhero who can fly, become invisible, and turn dirt into blueberry pancakes. Amazing powers, right? But what if this person never used their powers? What if they visibly walked on dirt instead of invisibly flying around eating pancakes?

Why would they choose to do that?

Well, we could ask ourselves the same question, because that person is you and me. Okay, I admit we don’t have those particular superpowers, but we do have enormous power to change the trajectory of our mood, day, and life. We don’t always use it because we forget about it and fall into old routines of passivity.
Passive Minds Can’t Break Free

Stop thinking about what you’ve done wrong recently. Stop thinking about how you can’t exercise or improve your skills because you’re too undisciplined. Stop thinking that you should be in a better position than you currently are. Stop believing that you’re stuck — there’s a wide open lane to your left and you just have to decide to take it.

Problem: a passive mind can’t think beyond what it has already experienced.

A passive mind won’t consider new and exciting possibilities. A passive mind won’t think about breaking its own limiting rules. A passive mind can’t grow and become greater, it can only wallow through and regurgitate its own past. That’s because passive minds don’t create new things, they merely observe and comment.

Nobody is immune to having a passive mind, and nobody is sentenced to carry it their whole lives. We all have the ability to overcome this life-sapping way of thinking.

Your Superpower: Choice

Beautiful scene, isn’t it? Any time you see something desirable, whether it’s a nice picture, a nice life, or a nice career, remember that you can choose to take steps to obtain it for yourself.

The superpower we all have is choice. Even as you read that, you’re probably underestimating it. Let me make it clearer.

You know that thing you’ve been struggling with? You know that huge frustration in your life that you can’t seem to get over? You know that thing you’re supposed be doing but haven’t been doing?

You can CHOOSE to conquer it, and by doing so, you will.

Like the quote at the start of this article suggests, if you want to be mentally tougher, decide to be mentally tougher. If you want to be able to exercise, decide to exercise today. If you don’t want to procrastinate, decide to work. You’re mentally and physically capable of doing all of these things, but you will struggle mightily if you let yourself “go with the flow” of your thoughts, circumstances, and feelings. You will fail often if you give up your ultimate power of choice to less meaningful factors.

How to Become a More Powerful Person

Those who think passively believe they are weaker than they actually are. With a small shift in perspective, they can really take control of their lives. I want to nail down the difference in these perspectives, so I’m going to give some thought examples. If the passive thinking examples resemble your thinking today, imagine how your behavior might change if you decided to think like the powerful example.

Passive thinking: I should exercise today, but I’m a little tired and, oh, maybe I should do laundry. I should have done it yesterday. Are my new shoes coming in today?
Powerful thinking: I will exercise today no matter what.

The Difference: Passive thinking is predictably unpredictable, distracted, more concerned with the past and future than right now, and it’s easily influenced by internal and external factors. Powerful thinking is simple, clear, concise, and focused on making valuable decisions in the present moment, and it isn’t influenced at all by external factors. The only internal factor that matters to a powerful thinker is their choice, what they decide to do.

Passive thinking: Wow, I’ve been in such a rut lately. Ugh, I should be doing better than this. I just feel so drained, and now I’m in a bad mood, which makes me feel even worse. Uggghhhhhh. Why can’t my life be [better, different, like his/hers, etc.]? What am I doing wrong?
Powerful thinking: That’s not how I wanted to start the day, but what’s done is done. I’m going to salvage the day (choice). I’ll work on the spreadsheets, meditate for 5 minutes, call James and Tim, and then head to the gym (all deliberate choices).

The Difference: Passive thinking focuses on their feelings of shame, disappointment, and inadequacy. It’s weak on solutions and strong on excuses. Negative feelings will loop, because it feels bad to feel bad. Comparison is also common, to another person’s life or to what they feel life should be like. Powerful thinking, however, may acknowledge a slow or undesired recent past, but then the mind will quickly recognize that these events have expired and are no longer worth thinking about. The powerful thinker will quickly begin making choices to shape their day into something they want.

Passive thinkers observe their life and comment on it. They’re passengers.

Powerful thinkers actively shape their lifestyle by making firm choices. They’re drivers.

It’s important to point out that this change goes beyond to taking action. As the initial quote states, your power of choice can be used to increase your mental toughness, be more courageous, and so on. Many choices are erroneously labeled as emotions. Toughness is not defined by macho emotionlessness, though it is often depicted in that way. Toughness is when you feel torn apart and choose to put yourself back together. Toughness is when you feel hurt and weak and helpless and continue to fight regardless.

You don’t always choose what happens to you and the emotions you feel, but you always choose your response to said events and emotions. Emotion is not the end of a sequence, it is the beginning. When you feel sad, angry, lost, inadequate, and/or completely defeated, that’s when the game begins. That’s when you can use your superpower of choice to create a new chapter in your story. Just like any good movie, negative beginnings set up for sweeter ending, as long as the protagonist keeps fighting for it.

Ask Yourself: What Do I Choose to Do Today?

Your answer should not contain if/but conditionals. It should be unambiguous and explicit. Examples:

“I am going to [do XYZ] at [time] at [place].”
“I am going to do 50 push-ups sometime today at home.”
“I am going to show up at the gym today after I digest my lunch.”
“I am going to write 173 words for my book at 4:23 PM.”
“I am going to brainstorm 15 business ideas in Microsoft Word before I go to sleep tonight.”

As for me, I did get off to a slow start today, but you can bet the house that I’m going to dominate the rest of it. Why? Because I’ve made choices that I’m not leaving it up to interpretation, circumstance, or chance. They’re as good as done, and it really does feel like a superpower if you’ve been a wishy-washy passive thinker in the past (as I have).
Time is Active, Opportunities Abound

One second just passed. And two. And three…

Every new second is a brand new opportunity for you to make a powerful choice to change the course of your day. Don’t get hung up on missed opportunities — new ones are available in abundance. There are 86,400 seconds per day, meaning there are 86,400 opportunities per day for you to make a critical, day-changing decision.

If you utilize your power of choice every day, you can change the course of your entire life. Stop leaving your life up to what you ate for breakfast and which way the wind blows. Pick a direction, and don’t let anything stop you from going that way.

You DO NOT have to do what you most feel like doing.
You DO NOT have to do what you’ve “come to expect from yourself.”
You DO NOT have to follow any precedents or rules.
You DO NOT have to listen to your internal objections.
You DO NOT have to care what society thinks of you and your choices.
You DO NOT have to wait for a better time.
You DO NOT have to finish poorly just because you started poorly.
You DO NOT have to limit yourself in any way for any reason.

You have the power to choose your actions and trailblaze a brand new path.

This power is not conditional to anything. It’s always available to you. Will you use it?

Dasherz:

hey. . king of introverts

Morning sis... I sent you a message with my new account.. Have you seen it?

Pynkylypz:
Morning sis... I sent you a message with my new account.. Have you seen it?

good morning

soorrry been busy and haven't had time to login yet .. i'll check later

Dasherz:


good morning

soorrry been busy and haven't had time to login yet .. i'll check later

Alright

Hello guys.. I'm an introvert too but I get along well with the opposite sex like I still have a little confidence. But when I'm with my fellow girls eh I am not.. Girls know how to rubbish someone and give someone low self esteem. I'm fun sha and I'll like to make new friends here. Mostly girls though.. Let's c if it's just the girls around me that are like that.

locust:


brother, my introversion has no rivalry.

Hahahaha hear me grammer,your introversion has no rivalry? Common get that out of your mind dr, you are a man o remember? Who's gonna go get u d woman?but before I continue pls may I know your age range?

gidjah:
Hahahaha hear me grammer,your introversion has no rivalry? Common get that out of your mind dr, you are a man o remember? Who's gonna go get u d woman?but before I continue pls may I know your age range?

Lol. Getting the woman hasn't been so easy, thanks to this nonsense dem call introversion. But I no dey para for dat one, God go chyke my woman for me. I'm in my 20's sha

locust:


Lol. Getting the woman hasn't been so easy, thanks to this nonsense dem call introversion. But I no dey para for dat one, God go chyke my woman for me. I'm in my 20's sha

Had to laugh at the "God go chyke my woman for me",
it seems not having a girlfriend easily comes with the introverted package.

charley94:

Had to laugh at the "God go chyke my woman for me",
it seems not having a girlfriend easily comes with the introverted package.

93% yes

locust:


Lol. Getting the woman hasn't been so easy, thanks to this nonsense dem call introversion. But I no dey para for dat one, God go chyke my woman for me. I'm in my 20's sha

sarzai:
Hello guys.. I'm an introvert too but I get along well with the opposite sex like I still have a little confidence. But when I'm with my fellow girls eh I am not.. Girls know how to rubbish someone and give someone low self esteem. I'm fun sha and I'll like to make new friends here. Mostly girls though.. Let's c if it's just the girls around me that are like that.

Lol,this is my first time of hearing this,might be the female friends you have.No one should be able to tamper with your self esteem, no one can make you feel low of yourself if you don't think that of yourself.

locust:


Lol. Getting the woman hasn't been so easy, thanks to this nonsense dem call introversion. But I no dey para for dat one, God go chyke my woman for me. I'm in my 20's sha

hmmmm, not to worry bro, you gonnab get better with time.while in sch during my uni days, my intelligence brought me dem plenty, but because I wasn't into ladies then, I let such slip.i was more into ma books then church.just try some modifications on your attitudes,get more friendly and sociable too.ladies that like your kind would naturally flow around you just like real poles of a magnet.i am not the kind that loves flowing around ladies else I would be so endowed and house filled with them.my charisma and personality does that a lot but no taking advantage .pls just better your self bro,all round ;academically, socially, intellectually,street wise too.you gonna get there soonest than you think.read good books on how to be a better person in the society,create goals and work hard to meet them up.

gidjah:
hmmmm, not to worry bro, you gonnab get better with time.while in sch during my uni days, my intelligence brought me dem plenty, but because I wasn't into ladies then, I let such slip.i was more into ma books then church.just try some modifications on your attitudes,get more friendly and sociable too.ladies that like your kind would naturally flow around you just like real poles of a magnet.i am not the kind that loves flowing around ladies else I would be so endowed and house filled with them.my charisma and personality does that a lot but no taking advantage .pls just better your self bro,all round ;academically, socially, intellectually,street wise too.you gonna get there soonest than you think.read good books on how to be a better person in the society,create goals and work hard to meet them up.

It's late now, bro! Too late. I get worse at it the moment I try. Zero social life, my phone's my companion. This is a fake life brother