This post is directed to the mature minds on this forum and not the ones with fish brain.

I've had this lady and we've been dating for like Six months, I have met with the families and vice versa and we are on the verge of getting married in a few months that time.

I met her some 6 months back and I love her so much. I put every of my effort to make sure I make her happy, because she's the the type of lady I hope to settle down with. Of recent, she had to put up with me due to the fact that she stays in a remote part Lagos and work on the island, of course which had the consent of both families and some relatives. Months into our relationship, I discovered she's the stubborn and egoistic type and I have since then called her severally to address that but all to no avail.

When ever she does anything wrong to me and I correct her, she wont feel any remorse about what she's done and will hardly say sorry. she won't talk to me or reply me whenever I talk to her, or even pick my calls or call me. I will have to beg her day after day before she finally say a word. This has been going on for a while but I keep hoping she will change, coupled with the fact that her mom do calls me to plead with me to always be calm with her, but now its as if am forcing myself on this lady. How do I tell the store that I stay under a roof with a lady and she frustrate me by not talking to me and shouts at me when any conversation ensues. God sees I have put everything of my best to make sure this relationship work, but all to no avail. Her egoistic and pride attitude is killing it and me emotionally.

Nairalanders please what should I do? Mature answers only

We don't discuss on phone but in person.

Like I said, she has had to put up at my residence to meet up with her work.

I agree Her work activities is somehow challenging should that make her shout and behave to me in such manner?

Thanks for your tips

Halt every marriage plan.


An unforgiving and egoistic spouse will drive you to untimely death.
How can someone stay in same house, and will be comfortable keeping malice?
Forget what the mother tells you, at the end of the day na una two go live together abi. Thank God you notice early, if you can't cope better opt out now, 6 month is not a long time ( no one will say you wasted her time) and I'm sure you must have talked to her about this. It takes two to make a relationship work, both people will be willing and ready to compromise, but in this case e be like say na only you waka come. Well except, if you are the desperate one, then get ready to put up with that till when your eternity comes calling.

It's unfortunate some people always will never value what they have until they loose it...anyway I think you should threaten her to go back to her family house because you can't be under same roof with a woman who isn't talking to you..you are not even yet married and she is already acting like this?look sorry to say but it will be ×10 when she officially becomes madam do you need to grow some balls and be firm with her,we don't like weak men. Good luck tho

Chommieblaq:
Halt every marriage plan.


An unforgiving and egoistic spouse will drive you to untimely death.
How can someone stay in same house, and will be comfortable keeping malice?
Forget what the mother tells you, at the end of the day na una two go live together abi. Thank God you notice early, if you can't cope better opt out now, 6 month is not a long time ( no one will say you wasted her time) and I'm sure you must have talked to her about this. It takes two to make a relationship work, both people will be willing and ready to compromise, but in this case e be like say na only you waka come. Well except, if you are the desperate one, then get ready to put up with that till when your eternity comes calling.

Hmm. I can't believe this is coming from a lady. U just advised me as a brother and I quite appreciate that. I am not desperate, even though am of marriage able age and Yeah I have indeed talk to her about all these severally but she's never moved with whatever I say.

Faithscharms2:
anyway I think you should threaten her to go back to her family house because you can't be under same roof with a woman who isn't talking to you..Good luck tho

Thank Sis. I'll try that if it's gonna work

If actually she is exhibiting all what u enumerated above, then she is even a girlfriend material not to talk being a wife. All what she is doing now is just a preamble of what to expect in ur marriage. You get to see her really characters when u marry her. By the way, hav u let her spend time with ur family and see how she relate to them particularly ur mum. Although their views may not neccessarily be a determinant but trust me it also help. Good luck!

Raskasal:
This post is directed to the mature minds on this forum and not the ones with fish brain.

I've had this lady and we've been dating for like Six months, I have met with the families and vice versa and we are on the verge of getting married in a few months that time.

I met her some 6 months back and I love her so much. I put every of my effort to make sure I make her happy, because she's the the type of lady I hope to settle down with. Of recent, she had to put up with me due to the fact that she stays in a remote part Lagos and work on the island, of course which had the consent of both families and some relatives. Months into our relationship, I discovered she's the stubborn and egoistic type and I have since then called her severally to address that but all to no avail.

When ever she does anything wrong to me and I correct her, she wont feel any remorse about what she's done and will hardly say sorry. she won't talk to me or reply me whenever I talk to her, or even pick my calls or call me. I will have to beg her day after day before she finally say a word. This has been going on for a while but I keep hoping she will change, coupled with the fact that her mom do calls me to plead with me to always be calm with her, but now its as if am forcing myself on this lady. How do I tell the store that I stay under a roof with a lady and she frustrate me by not talking to me and shouts at me when any conversation ensues. God sees I have put everything of my best to make sure this relationship work, but all to no avail. Her egoistic and pride attitude is killing it and me emotionally.

Nairalanders please what should I do? Mature answers only

This is not a good look. I’d say don’t wed yet. Take your time to study her behavior and weigh your options. Like the saying goes “a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage

tolufase:
If actually she is exhibiting all what u enumerated above, then she is even a girlfriend material not to talk being a wife. All what she is doing now is just a preamble of what to expect in ur marriage. You get to see her really characters when u marry her. By the way, hav u let her spend time with ur family and see how she relate to them particularly ur mum. Although their views may not neccessarily be a determinant but trust me it also help. Good luck!

God bears me witness. I never lied about anything I posted, infact I couldn't list all she's been doing because I have decided not to discuss my relationship matters with people who in turn make me a laughing object. But I have no option, am dieing inside of me. I just have to talk to someone...

willanderson:



This is not a good look. I’d say don’t wed yet. Take your time to study her behavior and weigh your options. Like the saying goes “a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage

Thanks bro

mothers no dia daughters more dan any one else, d mother nos she's got bad attitude Dats Y she is begging u 2 tolerate her, jst 6months and it's already happening, she has taken ur calmness as foolishness dat y she is riding u. Wen u ar trying to luv sumone and d person is busy frustrating u, it gets 2 a point where d luv itself gets tired of luving and decides take a break. U hv jst 2 options.
1. Tel her u ar done wt her
2. Continue to tolerate her 4 d rest of ur life. D choice is urs

Raskasal:


God bears me witness. I never lied about anything I posted, infact I couldn't list all she's been doing because I have decided not to discuss my relationship matters with people who in turn make me a laughing object. But I have no option, am dieing inside of me. I just have to talk to someone...

But hav u seat her down and her questions (about her job, family and even pressure from other guys out there) perhaps somthing might be bodering her.

@op.....read carefully.......I onced had a nice babe I wanted to marry but now d over 3yrs relationship has ended cos I wonder y a lady will wake up one day and ignore my calls for 1 month. After 1 mth, and I asked y? she will say nothing...after talking to her, she still did not change...next yr she ignored me for 2mths....and next yr 3mths.....and when I realised this, I asked myself......I never marry this babe and she dey behave like this, what will happen wen I marry her?.... she is not willing to tell anyone why she behaves like that......bros na so I tell d babe bye bye.....love no be by force.....BUT NOW SHE IS TRYING TO COME BACK....but me I don do usain bolt style ooo. SHE NEVER SAYS SORRY WEN SHE IS WRONG.....@op....lack of communication is very bad for marriage ooooo. God don show u sign....na your choice...

Raskasal:


Thanks bro

If your mum do chat with her then tell your mum about it and let her chat with her woman to woman....in my own case, my mum had to chat with her and told her to talk to her If anything is bothering her but for where ......my babe get man heart.....so I just could not continue.......at least I have discovered that some women have woman heart while some have a mans heart. Just as some men have a mans heart and some a woman's heart......

What makes you think that a lady who disrespects you while you're dating/engaged would change when you make her your mrs?. These are red flags but you don't want to take cognizance of any. She yells at you, never says sorry while you're made to apologise even when she's wrong, keeps malice for too long. My dear, she's a time bomb waiting to explode in marriage.

I think you've made her feel she's indispensable, so the attitude. You know what you want best.

Gentlevin:
@op.....read carefully.......I onced had a nice babe I wanted to marry but now d over 3yrs relationship has ended cos I wonder y a lady will wake up one day and ignore my calls for 1 month. After 1 mth, and I asked y? she will say nothing...after talking to her, she still did not change...next yr she ignored me for 2mths....and next yr 3mths.....and when I realised this, I asked myself......I never marry this babe and she dey behave like this, what will happen wen I marry her?.... she is not willing to tell anyone why she behaves like that......bros na so I tell d babe bye bye.....love no be by force.....BUT NOW SHE IS TRYING TO COME BACK....but me I don do usain bolt style ooo. SHE NEVER SAYS SORRY WEN SHE IS WRONG.....@op....lack of communication is very bad for marriage ooooo. God don show u sign....na your choice...

Lol you're funny. But I think you understand what am saying more. I have never for once denied her communication. I Gave her my time, my attention, not to talk of money, I have even taken it upon myself to close early at work just to make sure I spend time with her, yet what I get in return is awkward. Its very painful but Ive got to move on. Thanks Man. Appreciate you

Raskasal:


Lol you're funny. But I think you understand what am saying more. I have never for once denied her communication. I Gave her my time, my attention, not to talk of money, I have even taken it upon myself to close early at work just to make sure I spend time with her, yet what I get in return is awkward. Its very painful but Ive got to move on. Thanks Man. Appreciate you

wish u d best bro.....its not easy ooo. There was nothing I did not do for my babe...I even open bank acct for her....when I buy her stuffs, I buy for all her siblings too....but its in d past now.....but I have resolved not to buy things for d next girl I will meet except just credit card......cos its like I over spoiled her with love........A FAILED RELATIONSHIP IS BETTER THAN A FAILED MARRIAGE . though e no easy...

Benita27:
What makes you think that a lady who disrespects you while you're dating/engaged would change when you make her your mrs?. These are red flags but you don't want to take cognizance of any. She yells at you, never says sorry while you're made to apologise even when she's wrong, keeps malice for too long. My dear, she's a time bomb waiting to explode in marriage.

I think you've made her feel she's indispensable, so the attitude. You know what you want best.

Hmm! I'm speechless. I do take cognizance of all these you mentioned, but i was hoping a little patient could make things work, but rather keeps getting worse. Thanks Sis.

Chommieblaq:
Halt every marriage plan.


An unforgiving and egoistic spouse will drive you to untimely death.
How can someone stay in same house, and will be comfortable keeping malice?
Forget what the mother tells you, at the end of the day na una two go live together abi. Thank God you notice early, if you can't cope better opt out now, 6 month is not a long time ( no one will say you wasted her time) and I'm sure you must have talked to her about this. It takes two to make a relationship work, both people will be willing and ready to compromise, but in this case e be like say na only you waka come. Well except, if you are the desperate one, then get ready to put up with that till when your eternity comes calling.

Raskasal, she has said it all.

Problem is you care too much.

My paddy listen.

Marriage is like traveling on a long journey with your personal car, you have to prepared adequately. Ranging
From servicing of the car to having enough fuel. If not sorry

In as much as there are small fault u might ignore but still get to your destination, that is to tell u that No One or nothing Is Perfect.

But your girl attitude is No No.

Because in every relationship or marriage there MUST
Be a problem n hurdles on d long run.

If your partner is the type that cant say sorry no matter what u will live the life of pain, anguish n sorry even as a slave cos u will always b d one to run to her.

It will even affect your kids cos they will be cold hearted, seeing the drama between u n their mother everyday.

U will never be loved, appreciated or even care for.

Life is too short for that.

My babe makes me feel like a king, she cherish me alot
And it so easy for us to say sorry.

Sometimes will end up saying am sorry to each other trying to accept the blame.

My only problem is that she is a South African babe but she is all that I need as a wife.

I can bet she is far beautiful than that arrogant babe.

If u doubt make we post pictures.

Everyone deserves to be love.



TruePass.

bitchcrafts:
Problem is you care too much.

Like seriously? How do I care less?

Raskasal:


Like seriously? How do I care less?

by caring less nooni.

u have to be more stubborn and do a perfect job of concealing how much u love her, if not u are in trouble. Show her love when u have to, Care for her when u have to and know when to be stern and stubborn when necessary. It is good u know her shortcomings now. Your target would be to put her in check and that u must do with total resolution. Do not allow her to know or predict correctly what u are capable of doing and do not ever assure her that spanking her is completely out of the options. I bet she would love u for real. She only need that man who can put her on track, When u know she is the one who has done wrong pls do not ever beg or call her. But if u are the one who has gone wrong, feel free to call, pet and apologise even if u have to go on ur kneels.

Gentlevin:
wish u d best bro.....its not easy ooo. There was nothing I did not do for my babe...I even open bank acct for her....when I buy her stuffs, I buy for all her siblings too....but its in d past now.....but I have resolved not to buy things for d next girl I will meet except just credit card......cos its like I over spoiled her with love........A FAILED RELATIONSHIP IS BETTER THAN A FAILED MARRIAGE . though e no easy...

Don't transfer hurt and baggage from a previous relationship into a new one. You may end up ruining things for yourself. Your last relationship ended for other reasons...nothing about being spoilt with love.

TruePass:
My paddy listen.

Marriage is like traveling on a long journey with your personal car, you have to prepared adequately. Ranging
From servicing of the car to having enough fuel. If not sorry

In as much as there are small fault u might ignore but still get to your destination, that is to tell u that No One or nothing Is Perfect.

But your girl attitude is No No.

Because in every relationship or marriage there MUST
Be a problem n hurdles on d long run.

If your partner is the type that cant say sorry no matter what u will live the life of pain, anguish n sorry even as a slave cos u will always b d one to run to her.

It will even affect your kids cos they will be cold hearted, seeing the drama between u n their mother everyday.

U will never be loved, appreciated or even care for.

Life is too short for that.

My babe makes me feel like a king, she cherish me alot
And it so easy for us to say sorry.

Sometimes will end up saying am sorry to each other trying to accept the blame.

My only problem is that she is a South African babe but she is all that I need as a wife.

I can bet she is far beautiful than that arrogant babe.

If u doubt make we post pictures.

Everyone deserves to be love.



TruePass.

I appreciate your response my dear brother. I am not here to compare pictures but you have indeed advised me as your brother. Thank you. I'll make ammendment, just that sometimes it's painful to let go someone you love. But all the same, life has got to continue

bitchcrafts:
by caring less nooni.

LOL. You're funny man. Thanks anyway

slimtoney:
u have to be more stubborn and do a perfect job of concealing how much u love her, if not u are in trouble. Show her love when u have to, Care for her when u have to and know when to be stern and stubborn when necessary. It is good u know her shortcomings now. Your target would be to put her in check and that u must do with total resolution. Do not allow her to know or predict correctly what u are capable of doing and do not ever assure her that spanking her is completely out of the options. I bet she would love u for real. She only need that man who can put her on track, When u know she is the one who has done wrong pls do not ever beg or call her. But if u are the one who has gone wrong, feel free to call, pet and apologise even if u have to go on ur kneels.

Hmm. Inciteful. Nice suggestions. I think love has got me not doing these things you mentioned. Change is here. Thanks bro

Raskasal:


Like seriously? How do I care less?

Get another babe to divide your attention and gradually move on. But never try to end the relationship abruptly as it would be akin to matching the accelerator and the brake at the same time since you're still in love with her. You'd be in for a bumpy ride and this could lead to toxic emotions - depression, anger, spite. These emotions could kill you bro and I mean every bit of it.

The challenge you must face however to rid you of your current weakness which is your love for her is to find another woman. Your girl is not the only woman in this world and it seems she is not keen about spending the rest of her life with you. Her happiness too should count which is why you need to let her walk.

Lastly, before you embark on a relationship that could lead to marriage, you need to try as much as possible to study the person before you even propose. Ideally, the woman should be the one pressuring you into marriage with her nice and sweet nature and maybe you eventually commit when you're sure you two are compatible. But never yield to the lustful greed of trying to settle with a woman just because you are charmed by her beauty and you want to keep her to yourself alone; unless you are sure the feeling is mutual because her happiness should equally be as important as yours for the union to at least last the legendary first four years.

did u read the post at all?

IamKashyBaby:
If she cant change her attitude, then no one can..

There are some ppol who doesn't say sorry for their behaviour or actions.

Why not pay her a visit and discuss everything with her since ur both getting married soon? Discussing problems over the phone will not make things better..Maybe she's pressured with her job..

This is just PREAMBLE,wait till she shows u her AMBLE after marrying her