slimtoney:
u have to be more stubborn and do a perfect job of concealing how much u love her, if not u are in trouble. Show her love when u have to, Care for her when u have to and know when to be stern and stubborn when necessary. It is good u know her shortcomings now. Your target would be to put her in check and that u must do with total resolution. Do not allow her to know or predict correctly what u are capable of doing and do not ever assure her that spanking her is completely out of the options. I bet she would love u for real. She only need that man who can put her on track, When u know she is the one who has done wrong pls do not ever beg or call her. But if u are the one who has gone wrong, feel free to call, pet and apologise even if u have to go on ur kneels.

Raskasal:
This post is directed to the mature minds on this forum and not the ones with fish brain.

I've had this lady and we've been dating for like Six months, I have met with the families and vice versa and we are on the verge of getting married in a few months that time.

I met her some 6 months back and I love her so much. I put every of my effort to make sure I make her happy, because she's the the type of lady I hope to settle down with. Of recent, she had to put up with me due to the fact that she stays in a remote part Lagos and work on the island, of course which had the consent of both families and some relatives. Months into our relationship, I discovered she's the stubborn and egoistic type and I have since then called her severally to address that but all to no avail.

When ever she does anything wrong to me and I correct her, she wont feel any remorse about what she's done and will hardly say sorry. she won't talk to me or reply me whenever I talk to her, or even pick my calls or call me. I will have to beg her day after day before she finally say a word. This has been going on for a while but I keep hoping she will change, coupled with the fact that her mom do calls me to plead with me to always be calm with her, but now its as if am forcing myself on this lady. How do I tell the store that I stay under a roof with a lady and she frustrate me by not talking to me and shouts at me when any conversation ensues. God sees I have put everything of my best to make sure this relationship work, but all to no avail. Her egoistic and pride attitude is killing it and me emotionally.

Nairalanders please what should I do? Mature answers only

tolufase:
If actually she is exhibiting all what u enumerated above, then she is even a girlfriend material not to talk being a wife. All what she is doing now is just a preamble of what to expect in ur marriage. You get to see her really characters when u marry her. By the way, hav u let her spend time with ur family and see how she relate to them particularly ur mum. Although their views may not neccessarily be a determinant but trust me it also help. Good luck!

Benita27:
What makes you think that a lady who disrespects you while you're dating/engaged would change when you make her your mrs?. These are red flags but you don't want to take cognizance of any. She yells at you, never says sorry while you're made to apologise even when she's wrong, keeps malice for too long. My dear, she's a time bomb waiting to explode in marriage.

I think you've made her feel she's indispensable, so the attitude. You know what you want best.

You this girl ehn, your head correct wella ooo

tosyne2much:
OP, I really took my time to read your story and a lot of things were running through my mind when reading it.

If your girlfriend is stubborn, arrogant and disrespectful then you need to know how to handle her the right way. If you don’t deal with her the right way, then the attitude will only get worse over time.

Her behavior when she was unapologetic or she called you all sorts of names was definitely something to be concerned about. It's a big red flag and it's something to be concerned about. In this situation, it’s always best to rip into your girlfriend and tell her that her behavior is completely disrespectful and unacceptable and that you may need to suspend the marriage plans for now.

But words without action are meaningless, so a punishment reward system must be implemented to put her on track.

Stubbornness and an abusive personality are two traits that will definitely destroy a relationship, so a reward/punish strategy needs to be implemented again in this circumstance

babylove2015:


Lol... can you actually force a grown woman to change out of her will. Whatever happens to pretence.. lol. Any one can pretend to get whatever they want.... punishment or no punishment. If it is marrigae the gal wants she will comply and then revert back to what she has always been and then Mr op will continue to employ punishment tactics to call madam to order ... but for how long?. Anyway thatz even if it changes anything sef.

tosyne2much:
OP, I really took my time to read your story and a lot of things were running through my mind when reading it.

If your girlfriend is stubborn, arrogant and disrespectful then you need to know how to handle her the right way. If you don’t deal with her the right way, then the attitude will only get worse over time.

Her behavior when she was unapologetic or she called you all sorts of names was definitely something to be concerned about. It's a big red flag and it's something to be concerned about. In this situation, it’s always best to rip into your girlfriend and tell her that her behavior is completely disrespectful and unacceptable and that you may need to suspend the marriage plans for now.

But words without action are meaningless, so a punishment reward system must be implemented to put her on track.

Stubbornness and an abusive personality are two traits that will definitely destroy a relationship, so a reward/punish strategy needs to be implemented again in this circumstance

tosyne2much:
Sighs! I'm just dumbfounded... So what do you think will be the way forward?

babylove2015:



Take the bull by its horns.... lets call black, black and blue, what it is. Situations like this should not be handled with a *converter* attitude. Many are biting their fingers for it. . Well, the op will do what he thinks is best for himself n i sincerely wish him the very best

I knw of few peeps who married tough partners n they r managing the situation well. The question is can the op manage all of these including those that are still yet to be discovered for a long time?.

tosyne2much:
You this girl ehn, your head correct wella ooo

peepydelano:
This is just PREAMBLE,wait till she shows u her AMBLE after marrying her

Gentlevin:
@op.....read carefully.......I onced had a nice babe I wanted to marry but now d over 3yrs relationship has ended cos I wonder y a lady will wake up one day and ignore my calls for 1 month. After 1 mth, and I asked y? she will say nothing...after talking to her, she still did not change...next yr she ignored me for 2mths....and next yr 3mths.....and when I realised this, I asked myself......I never marry this babe and she dey behave like this, what will happen wen I marry her?.... she is not willing to tell anyone why she behaves like that......bros na so I tell d babe bye bye.....love no be by force.....BUT NOW SHE IS TRYING TO COME BACK....but me I don do usain bolt style ooo. SHE NEVER SAYS SORRY WEN SHE IS WRONG.....@op....lack of communication is very bad for marriage ooooo. God don show u sign....na your choice...

Raskasal:

Gentlevin:
wish u d best bro.....its not easy ooo. There was nothing I did not do for my babe...I even open bank acct for her....when I buy her stuffs, I buy for all her siblings too....but its in d past now.....but I have resolved not to buy things for d next girl I will meet except just credit card......cos its like I over spoiled her with love........A FAILED RELATIONSHIP IS BETTER THAN A FAILED MARRIAGE . though e no easy...

Shawnnn01:


Had similar issue as the OP with with my ex. She got a job on the Island n then the troubled started. I wasn't fazed though I understood the rich guys on the Island would woo her & that is bound to affect us. She demanded I rent an apartment for her in VI. I mean what is the rationale of renting a million naira apartment for just you when I live alone in a three bed in Ajah. Before i can decide I realise coming around turn a difficult task for her. This hardened my resolve n that was how everything collapsed. Now she's back acting nice but I ain't got time for errors planning my wedding with another clean sweet babe she as no idea of.
Listen OP, girls will always act the way your girl is doing if they believe they have a chance to met someone beta. Beta could be anything, any girl not willing or haven't learnt to believe you are her all in all should not be considered a life partner. It's a learning process and girls find it very difficult to comprehend. Only the few that understand this get married early, what they now do once married is a topic for another day.

Raskasal:
This post is directed to the mature minds on this forum and not the ones with fish brain.

I've had this lady and we've been dating for like Six months, I have met with the families and vice versa and we are on the verge of getting married in a few months that time.

I met her some 6 months back and I love her so much. I put every of my effort to make sure I make her happy, because she's the the type of lady I hope to settle down with. Of recent, she had to put up with me due to the fact that she stays in a remote part Lagos and work on the island, of course which had the consent of both families and some relatives. Months into our relationship, I discovered she's the stubborn and egoistic type and I have since then called her severally to address that but all to no avail.

When ever she does anything wrong to me and I correct her, she wont feel any remorse about what she's done and will hardly say sorry. she won't talk to me or reply me whenever I talk to her, or even pick my calls or call me. I will have to beg her day after day before she finally say a word. This has been going on for a while but I keep hoping she will change, coupled with the fact that her mom do calls me to plead with me to always be calm with her, but now its as if am forcing myself on this lady. How do I tell the store that I stay under a roof with a lady and she frustrate me by not talking to me and shouts at me when any conversation ensues. God sees I have put everything of my best to make sure this relationship work, but all to no avail. Her egoistic and pride attitude is killing it and me emotionally.

Nairalanders please what should, I do? Mature answers only

KevinDein:
Lol
Never knew that this sort of girls are that many. What will surprise you all is that they genuinely don't believe they are doing something wrong by not communicating or not saying I'm sorry. So you see, that's the bigger issue here. They don't think they are doing anything wrong.

KevinDein:
Lol
Never knew that this sort of girls are that many. What will surprise you all is that they genuinely don't believe they are doing something wrong by not communicating or not saying I'm sorry. So you see, that's the bigger issue here. They don't think they are doing anything wrong.

placeofallure:
Some unfortunate things happen but they're categorised as a blessing in disguise. It is a good thing she's showing her real self when you can still make a U-turn. Let her off the hook please. However before you set her free give her a last chance, tell her how she's killing the relationship and how uncomfortable you are becoming. If she still doesn't change, show her the door.

I once had to live with my boyfriend then, now my husband for a few months. We saw ourselves in a new light. In fact those few months helped me to decide to be with him forever. Your case shouldn't be different Don't settle for less.

Raskasal:
This post is directed to the mature minds on this forum and not the ones with fish brain.

I've had this lady and we've been dating for like Six months, I have met with the families and vice versa and we are on the verge of getting married in a few months that time.

I met her some 6 months back and I love her so much. I put every of my effort to make sure I make her happy, because she's the the type of lady I hope to settle down with. Of recent, she had to put up with me due to the fact that she stays in a remote part Lagos and work on the island, of course which had the consent of both families and some relatives. Months into our relationship, I discovered she's the stubborn and egoistic type and I have since then called her severally to address that but all to no avail.

When ever she does anything wrong to me and I correct her, she wont feel any remorse about what she's done and will hardly say sorry. she won't talk to me or reply me whenever I talk to her, or even pick my calls or call me. I will have to beg her day after day before she finally say a word. This has been going on for a while but I keep hoping she will change, coupled with the fact that her mom do calls me to plead with me to always be calm with her, but now its as if am forcing myself on this lady. How do I tell the store that I stay under a roof with a lady and she frustrate me by not talking to me and shouts at me when any conversation ensues. God sees I have put everything of my best to make sure this relationship work, but all to no avail. Her egoistic and pride attitude is killing it and me emotionally.

Nairalanders please what should I do? Mature answers only