aureen:
I know a man that started feeding himself from primary school and currently he gives his mom who has not been working for more than 30 years monthly upkeep , most of his siblings who are more than 30 years old cannot feed themselves without him.

Never forget that every child has a responsibility towards his/her parent.

So what do you have to say @op?

A big lie. Is actually the other way round. It is a very big sin for you to bear a child your not prepared to take care of, in the eyes of god and man.
In most western society, you are suppose to save some money when your younger. You don't hope on your children when you get old. Nevertheless, is good to love and assist your parents, if they did you well. In a sane society, the woman should be doing her time in the jail. At your 30s, you should be working your ass of.

thebosstrevor:
Many people here are emotional instead of being logical.

for a women to take church seriously than taking care of her household shows that her church is more important than the welfare of her children.in my opinion she failed as a parent.

I have seen this occurrence common among many women members of deeper life,redeem and mountain of fire,chosen etc,many of this women run from mountains to islands for prayers instead of facing their problems and solving it.the cause of over religiousness is mental illness,you yourself wont know it,this is not also common among religious people but also among educated and illiterate people,people who are too emotional for you to give them reasons through facts,they are always in denial,that is why a pastor in america called Jim Jones was able to deceive his members into mass death by taking poison.

to be fair with you,i understand what you are going through and i will say your mother disappointed you,it is not easy especially for you to work hard only or you to use the money on her and your siblings instead of yourself.it is the responsibility of both parents to take care of their children until they are mature enough to earn,your father also is not reliable,he is more interested in sex than you guys.

Many Nigerian parent have failed their children,once a parent put self-fish act before the welfare of a child,it shows irresponsibility.both parents are self fish and i wish they could see the damage they are doing to their children because if all was good,he wont be on nairaland complaining.

i will advice,you do all possible stuff to make her stop going to that church,the more she attends,the more she become worst,it will be surprising to you that she gives your hard earn money to the pastor,who goes on to better his own life while she suffers.

secondly,you need to stop sending money to her until she agrees to stop going to that church.

also you need to make her see reality,a man hope is to be better than his parent not be like them,you cant continue to live like this,please save for your future.

she has two legs and two hands and she is walking well,she needs to start doing something with her life,some times you need to make people uncomfortable for them to start seeing the truth

God Bless you sir. They all think I hate my mom, especially the women. Only a fool will think giving birth to children is enough for them to worship u for the rest of their lives. Its my parents that owed me a living not the other way round. I can only take care of her if she took care of me, I lack the core care every parent can give their kids all because she chose religion over us. I don't know why people failed to see my point.

She’s like my grandma

your mum is a very selfish woman, she really is not born again if she is as you describe.

I think she is depressed, she needs to see a doctor

Ezkid:
Well as an African I believe it's disrespectful and rude to diss or called out my mom for her unhealthy attitudes but I think its high time I make it public so people who has witnessed or experience such can give to me a valuable advice.

My mom was once a successful hair dresser and she was the breadwinner of our family until she became born again, she abruptly stopped plating hair for her customers based on what she tagged "unbiblical" She basically affirmed that she'll never touch attachments and synthetic hair again in her life and ever since then things hasn't been going smoothly again.

My Dad now has got a Rick Ross fatlike woman as a second wife and I think the whole situations has taken its toll on my mom's mental health, she's literally cut herself off from the outside world and everything always mean something extra terrestrial to her.

My Mom would see a gecko on the wall and believe it was sent from hell to drag her to the underground, We always packed from one apartment to the other thanks to her intolerance toward other people. Omg! She'll always find faults with her co tenants, everybody is either a witch or a spy from the underworld.

There's one thing she did that convinced me she's struggling from mental instability, we packed out from one house to a flat like apartment, do u believe my mom went back there and packed the huge rocks we used to make fire? She tagged them as her property which can never be left behind, she'll play with u today only to become unresponsive when u greet her tomorrow, she stopped her work almost 20 years ago and ever since then has become a liability on my dad and a burden on us the children, it disgusts me to feed her with my hard earned money when she's hale and healthy, she's the reason my dad was unable to send me to the university because the burden is too much on him.

What I find ridiculous about her is her mindset, her mind was wired to believe we owed her a living when in reality it's the opposite, when my dad is unable to send money she'll become so tensed and angry, its so annoying how she find it difficult to realize she is the PROBLEM of the family.

Pls I need good advice on what kind of help we the children can seek on her behalf cos its obvious she needs help. Thanks all.

Ezkid:
Don't mind that yeye Victorian, she keep saying I hate my mom, im ungrateful this and that, ungrateful about what exactly? Its not my choice to be brought into the world its her choice, its also her choice to stopped working without considering the effect it would have on her children, when u don't come from a good background, when u don't have good parents who can take good care of you and invest in your education, then your chances of becoming successful is very slim. Bringing innocent children into this world isn't the height of parents responsibility. Taking good care of them is.

Don't mind the idiot. Na one of those feminist wana be. Read through her comments, she doesn't believe women should ever do anything.

Just take it easy with her. I understand how you feel. Forget the fact that she didn't take her responsibility. She actually needs your assistance now. Try and take her to a doctor.

Ezkid:
God Bless you sir. They all think I hate my mom, especially the women. Only a fool will think giving birth to children is enough for them to worship u for the rest of their lives. Its my parents that owed me a living not the other way round. I can only take care of her if she took care of me, I lack the core care every parent can give their kids all because she chose religion over us. I don't know why people failed to see my point.

You have obviously come to NL to vent, and not to seek advice or take on board useful tips, to improve your situation. You claim that "Its my parents that owed me a living not the other way round. I can only take care of her if she took care of me, I lack the core care every parent can give their kids all because she chose religion over us...." Let me ask: Before she chose religion over you, didn't she take care of you to some extent? Or was it the second day she gave birth to you, that she started choosing religion over you? You have been through a lot, and I admire your courage, but please try to be less resentful.

Her behaviour is not normal, and some knowledgeable people have pointed it out clearly, that she needs medical assistance to improve her mental health. Instead of showing sympathy at the very least, you are busy condemning her and waving some misguided sense of entitlement! Grow up, please! Don't allow resentment to cloud your sense of judgement please. I know it is hard, but try.

Doesn't she have brothers, sisters, uncles, cousins or aunts that can help out, and assist you to take her to see a clinical psychologist? Doctors from Army Reference Medical Hospital in Yaba came to give a lecture in our office, a few months back, about the dangers of stress, and how it affects the human mind. They mentioned that discovery of unfaithfulness in one's spouse could lead to a shock, which could cause depression or other forms of mental illness. So everyone was advised to take their mental and physical health issues seriously. I think you should contact them if you live in Lagos, as they might be able to guide you further, on how to take care of your mum.

People with debilitating challenges in their mental health status, find it difficult to concentrate, process logical thought, hold down a job, or handle a business. A physically challenged person with sound mental health, is still far better off than a mentally or psychologically challenged individual. Google it!

Abandoning your mum to her fate, or ignoring her is not going to solve the problem. If she even leaves that church today, her condition might not improve if something is not done, to erase the brainwashing she has received over the years. Whatever she becomes tomorrow, will still fall back on you, either physically or psychologically. The public would still point fingers at you, because they know you as her son. May God give you wisdom, strength and adequate assistance, to surmount it all.

psych eval seems like a solution here.

The only issue of have with your write up is when you said It disgusts you to feed her with your hard earned money..that's totally wrong and uncalled for....

The fact that others in the church are normal is also probably not sensible to you.

Earthbound:


Please don't quote me if you have nothing sensible to say.

You can't technically call her up to her faults just like that but have you tried sitting her down to talk? If your mom is usually a cool person to talk to you might want to sit her down when she's in a good mood and give her a good heart to heart but be prepared for any slap or beating she may give you but beyond that express your mind to the fullest so that when /if she beats you, you can go and cry quietly in a corner but you will be rest assured you have said your mind... If you're a spiritual person you might want to put her in your prayers too... My two penn'orth on the matter �

victorian:






Has it ever occurred to you and everyone at home, that she's tired of working?
She simply need a break and she has finally hang her boots on working all day for the upkeep of the family.
She simply want to rest at her old age. So let her be.
Go and hustle. You are still. Young and vibrant.
And lastly don't compare your family with others, or else u will always find faults in your mum.
Everyone in the home, should Appreciate her, love her, respect her and see how she will change from been troublesome to calm and soft mother.
She is simply tired!

Mrs councillor that only applies if his mom is more than 68years.
which one is tired of working?
when you give birth to kids don't you know you gonna take care of them?

SoapQueen:



Refer to his previous thread where he was complaining about his girl having a fishy "south side" and also has a baby mama at his age. Only you, woman woman talk! Now, he is roping his mom into his blame list.

Misplaced priorities.

I'm out

Borehole also think she have a say. Absurdity!

Ezkid:
Well as an African I believe it's disrespectful and rude to diss or called out my mom for her unhealthy attitudes but I think its high time I make it public so people who has witnessed or experience such can give to me a valuable advice.

My mom was once a successful hair dresser and she was the breadwinner of our family until she became born again, she abruptly stopped plating hair for her customers based on what she tagged "unbiblical" She basically affirmed that she'll never touch attachments and synthetic hair again in her life and ever since then things hasn't been going smoothly again.

My Dad now has got a Rick Ross fatlike woman as a second wife and I think the whole situations has taken its toll on my mom's mental health, she's literally cut herself off from the outside world and everything always mean something extra terrestrial to her.

My Mom would see a gecko on the wall and believe it was sent from hell to drag her to the underground, We always packed from one apartment to the other thanks to her intolerance toward other people. Omg! She'll always find faults with her co tenants, everybody is either a witch or a spy from the underworld.

There's one thing she did that convinced me she's struggling from mental instability, we packed out from one house to a flat like apartment, do u believe my mom went back there and packed the huge rocks we used to make fire? She tagged them as her property which can never be left behind, she'll play with u today only to become unresponsive when u greet her tomorrow, she stopped her work almost 20 years ago and ever since then has become a liability on my dad and a burden on us the children, it disgusts me to feed her with my hard earned money when she's hale and healthy, she's the reason my dad was unable to send me to the university because the burden is too much on him.

What I find ridiculous about her is her mindset, her mind was wired to believe we owed her a living when in reality it's the opposite, when my dad is unable to send money she'll become so tensed and angry, its so annoying how she find it difficult to realize she is the PROBLEM of the family.

Pls I need good advice on what kind of help we the children can seek on her behalf cos its obvious she needs help. Thanks all.

Why complain when you refused to fight the matter 20 years ago?:if her mentality changes now, will you go back to the university?

Many people are living in illusion because of church doctrines.

It takes counseling to help them get back their vision

Ezkid:
She's 51 now and she stopped the work over 15 years ago and she's tired ever since? We tried setting up other cake business but she always squandered the money, give her 100k today and she won't be able to account for it the following week. We've left her to become what she wants to be.

smh..

Thegeneralqueen:
Fine sir kedu maka orlu kwanu

Make I correct your writing small.

It’s ‘Kedu maka ORU, kwanu’

L and R are sometimes used interchangeably amongst dialects. So some would say Oru, while others would say Olu, but never orlu. Orlu is just the name of a town.

Hence the name Oluchi (Work/handwork of God) can also be written as Oruchi.

Ezkid:
Its so ridiculous how the women here think I hate my mom, I guess they dont know what hatred is all about, someone who hates u would not want a solution to ur problem, my mom allowed herself to be brainwashed and it has badly affect the family, how im I going to take care of her when she's jeopardizing my odds of becoming successful? No one! I repeat, No one can ever understand what im passing through unless he or she has been there.

bro don't mind them..it's cause it's your mum you're complaining about and since your mum is a woman they have decided to turn a blind eye on her faults and attack you...i'm sure if twas your dad you came here to complain about they would have attacked him instead...notice how they were even attacking your dad for taking a second wife?...they just love draging men into any problem that concerns women

I think that's what happens when a person gets obesed with religion.......My mum too has been mentally sick for a long time now. Before my father died she refused to work claiming that God asked her not to, & she will work at the right time. .My mom is always paranoid & doesn't trust other people,if any one opposes her she tags them as persecutors who are bent on tormenting her......After my father's death she still claimed God asked her not to work and spent all the money my father had saved to give the best education he could afford...now with all the momoney squandered we are swatting in a one room apartment as she has refused to live in the house which my father died & quite surprising she now works in a bakery with a salary so meagre that I and my elder brother have to adds to it if we don't want to starve ..
I'm also here struggling & working to fund myself to the university when some of my mates are preparing to graduate. ... Even though I some times blame my mum for our suffering I still love her & pity her when she gets lost in thoughts. ....she's quite unpredictable, cheerful in one minute & Moody in the other . this writeup isn't to favour the atheist but as a caution not to get too obessed with religion but everything should be done with moderation. .. and Op I understand your pains......talking to her won't solve the problem, even turning against her might prove worse...if she agrees & if youve got the money you could take her for mental treatment. .....And the most important thing here is love. .....Do you show her love. .this factor so little can work wonders...I used to oppose everything my mother says and does & I must confess matters only got worse, my mum was strong headed & so was I. It even got to a point that I openly disregarded all her rules but it didn't get me any where....now things are better but that didn't change until I changed my attitude towards her I can't say my mum is 100% healed but now she smiles & sometimes ask about my work.....just try to change your attitude towards her & get others to do the same things might not get perfect but they will surely improve

Loisemm:
OP, what is causing you to disregard her? You guys are grown up and earning your own money now. She can choose not to work if she wants cos most parents work for their kids welfare. Allow her keep resting if she wants.
Though, if you feel she needs to be busy to keep off your hair, then try to convince her first. Let her gradually get into a business she likes and one that isn't against her religion.
Alternatively, you can try to get her out of that particular religious sect if possible.

you saw the post where he said even if you give her 100k today she won't be able to point to it the next week? he also said they've tried opening cake business and other biz for her but she squandered all..

don't let sentiments cloud your sense of reasoning (not an insult)

Thegeneralqueen:
I know you're back that's why I asked

Ordimma e ma ortu monday ce ya di oru erbenine

‘Odimma. I ma otu Monday si na di. Oru ebenine.’

Your writing is fine, just that you put in a lot of unnecessary “r’s” in your write-up.

SoapQueen:



Pay him no attention, if he can speak ill of his mother, how much more you? Imagine him calling you names.

Men with no respect for women.

I have not come to judge anyone or to cast blame but before you are quick to condemn the op, I think you should try to empathize with him. This is someone in his early twenties. If the mom is 51 and voluntarily stopped a viable business 15years ago, it means she stopped at 36years while the op would be around 6-8years. Do you even consider the kind of childhood this boy would have had with the mom being the bread winner and deciding to quit her job? Who quits a job at 36 being the bread winner of the home with kids to train? This is the same boy who has also had to face the challenges of a polygamous home growing up, catering for the younger ones one way or the other while both parents are alive, having no steady place to call home when being moved from one place to another, forfeiting university education which he would have so much desired to have, etc. Whether we like it or not, resentment must have been built up over the years.

Well op none of us truly know how you feel but one thing is certain, two wrongs don't make a right. If you feel any form of resentment you need to let it go and love her for who she is - YOUR MOTHER.

Please also observe and be sure there's nothing wrong mentally. If there is, do not hesitate to seek medical attention.

Lastly, always say a prayer for her and your entire household no matter how brief. There is nothing impossible with God. Thanks and stay blessed!

sistmeccy:
I think that's what happens when a person gets obesed with religion.......My mum too has been mentally sick for a long time now. Before my father died she refused to work claiming that God asked her not to, & she will work at the right time. .My mom is always paranoid & doesn't trust other people,if any one opposes her she tags them as persecutors who are bent on tormenting her......After my father's death she still claimed God asked her not to work and spent all the money my father had saved to give the best education he could afford...now with all the money finished we are swatting in a one room apartment as she has refused to live in the house which my father died & quite surprising she now works in a bakery with a salary so meagre that I and my elder brother have yo adds to it if we don't want to starve ..
I'm also here struggling & working to fund myself to the university when some of my mates are preparing to graduate. ... Even though I some times blame my mum for our suffering I still love her & pity her when she gets lost in thoughts. ....she's quite unpredictable, cheerful in one minute & Moody in the other
I've not made up this writeup to favour the atheist but as a caution not to get too obessed with religion but everything should be done with moderation. .. and Op I understand your pains

hmmm.. touching write-up

IamD18:

Which kyn Chinese igbo you de type

U de burst my head

Teach her naw. Do not discourage her. As she de write to you in Igbo, you de reply in English while making fun of her writing. How else is she going to get better? Abi you yourself no sabi how to write in Igbo?

Even if you no sabi, both of you should practice. No laughing allowed

victorian:



Abi?

I pity the mother for giving birth to such ungrateful son.
Better to have female children than such a son!
He's talking about not been able to bag a degree in the university. When there are so many graduates out there without jobs, trekking with torn shirts and battered shoes.
He should go and see his mates who didn't go to university, how well off they are and enjoying life. Cos why? They think out the box and outside the norms of the society.

Any man who dispise his mother will suffer in life. It's not curse but what God has ordained already from above.

That's why he's suffering. So much hate in his heart towards his mum.

Na their he go dey ,no going forward no going backward. He should keep hating her. He is doing himself.

you always sound ridiculous and pathetic.. what kind of words are you saying? are you God? why would you say he won't move forward ?

may that happen to you and your family.

the kind of people on nairaland never seize to amaze me.

even with your fake life.

Ezkid:
Well as an African I believe it's disrespectful and rude to diss or called out my mom for her unhealthy attitudes but I think its high time I make it public so people who has witnessed or experience such can give to me a valuable advice.

My mom was once a successful hair dresser and she was the breadwinner of our family until she became born again, she abruptly stopped plating hair for her customers based on what she tagged "unbiblical" She basically affirmed that she'll never touch attachments and synthetic hair again in her life and ever since then things hasn't been going smoothly again.

My Dad now has got a Rick Ross fatlike woman as a second wife and I think the whole situations has taken its toll on my mom's mental health, she's literally cut herself off from the outside world and everything always mean something extra terrestrial to her.

My Mom would see a gecko on the wall and believe it was sent from hell to drag her to the underground, We always packed from one apartment to the other thanks to her intolerance toward other people. Omg! She'll always find faults with her co tenants, everybody is either a witch or a spy from the underworld.

There's one thing she did that convinced me she's struggling from mental instability, we packed out from one house to a flat like apartment, do u believe my mom went back there and packed the huge rocks we used to make fire? She tagged them as her property which can never be left behind, she'll play with u today only to become unresponsive when u greet her tomorrow, she stopped her work almost 20 years ago and ever since then has become a liability on my dad and a burden on us the children, it disgusts me to feed her with my hard earned money when she's hale and healthy, she's the reason my dad was unable to send me to the university because the burden is too much on him.

What I find ridiculous about her is her mindset, her mind was wired to believe we owed her a living when in reality it's the opposite, when my dad is unable to send money she'll become so tensed and angry, its so annoying how she find it difficult to realize she is the PROBLEM of the family.

Pls I need good advice on what kind of help we the children can seek on her behalf cos its obvious she needs help. Thanks all.

Sounds like schizophrenia mixed with religious obsession. I doesn't happen in an empty vacuum, it emanates from high stress, then depression, then it gets worse to schizophrenia.

I don't really know how many well educated people this happens to. The mental disorder part of it is real but the overt religiosity exacerbates it.
Check if you could relate to any of the symptoms here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizophrenia#Signs_and_symptoms

Your mum is mentally ill. Most over zealous and over religious people are. It’s the only way they can express what they are going through with passion. Without sounding like they are completely insane. This is where fake pastors cash out. By taking advantage of them.

Please make sure you take care of your needs first, and whatever you can, do for her. Ensure that you are settled first so that you can do more for her. The truth is, she may have had a mental break because of the stress and pressure to provide for her family and not being appreciated for it. I know you did not really mention your father but it’s obvious the man never pulled his weight.

Hair dressing is a hard and time consuming job. You really do work for every kobo you make. Ordinary braids can take 5-8hrs. It’s not easy at all. She may have been tired of all the stress and responsibility and really needed the break. The way your father could repay her effort for all those years is to quickly marry another wife on a small salary. What a selfish, irresponsible and thoughtless man. Your father is very irresponsible. I can bet that throughout the time your mother was out hustling, he was using her money to carry women. That probably contributed to her ill health.

If you can find time to talk to her in her lucid moments I am sure you will never respect your dad again. Please try and take her to a psychiatrist to get the proper drugs so that she can begin to put her life together. Yes, parents should be responsible for their kids. But, in a case like yours where she is mentally incapable, you really can’t blame her. I understand your frustration, but she needs you right now. I think it will be better if you all can take her out of that house. That may be her first step to healing.

Who knows whether your step mum is the side chick that was tormenting your mother when she was struggling to fend for her family? Now she’s in the house digging her dagger deep while feeding obese on whatever she can lay her hands on. While your mother has to share the same house with her. What a horrible life for your mum.

I feel.for the poster; your family is not the first family that religious people have destroyed. They told your mom that weavon came from the demon living inside the waters. That her hair is what is used for making weavon. You see how these religious extremists destroy families with their gross ignorance. A little education would have enlightened themenough to know that weavon is synthetic nylon and there are factories that produce them here in Nigeria.

I had an aunt that died early this year. Her story is almost same as your mum's. Religious extrimism, high paranoi, spiritual battles, then she started seeing demons. She sees them everywhere and in everything. Then she stops eating becuase there were demons in the plates, spoons, water, everywhere. Then she starts seeing the demons attacking her everyday. She will scream and shout, roll on the floor and cry. Some of us enlightened family members knew she was having mental issues but her close family members insists she was having spiritual attacks. Long story short, she died a sad, miserable death.

You are doing the right thing. The first step is to accept that your mum has deep psychological problems and start asking for help on her behalf. Do not mind these posters forming blood ties with their supposedly mum, some of them can't stand their own mum too. We nigerians love glossing over issues rather than addressing them.

Please, and I say this with all sense of responsibility, if your mum becomes a burden you cannot deal with, severe ties with her. Get your own apartment and be sure to send her upkeep money monthly. Send her a fixed amount, if she likes let her dash them to her pastors but be sure not to add another dime if she asks again until the next month. You only have one life to live, and it has its own burden. Your dad obviously knows this and had already applied it. He deserves to be happy so don't get angry that he married a 2nd wife. He has 1 life to live too so carrying his ex wife's burden would have ended up making him depressed too.

RadicallyBlunt:

I fully understand you. My mum is worse. Most melchlor women have dat psychic issue. You're even lucky to have siblings and a father figure. I'm d only child of a single mum who's difficult to live with with a terrible countenance and temperament..always nagging. Yet she goes to church than anyone.

Some elders told me they wanted to take me away from her while I was a kid so I won't be affected but taking an only child from such a woman isn't child's play. They left me to grow up with it. Bro it affected me badly. Sincerely I'm blunt bcus I have a broken personality. Too much endurance can break a person. Up till today she doesnt see any wrong in her deeds. Many have suggested a psychology therapy, but to even mention it in her ears is to be her permanent enemy for life. It's a long story bro..a very long one.

Just take one day at a time and pray for an understanding wife cus d girls of these days don't understand anything abt enduring especially for such a mother in-law. Take time to understand her and draw ur line when u become a man on ur own. God help you bro.

Wow! You are strong! A lot of people from disfunctional homes end up being affected negatively in life. Some people find it difficult to love becuase they grew up in broken homes. Drawing the line is the best thing.

It disgusts you to feed your own mother with your hard earned money because she is hail and hearty? The same woman who carried you for nine tough months and went through labour to have you? Wo, you just placed curse on your head out of ignorance.

This pure mental illness... Ezkid....no one will understand the hell you've been through, so ignore those negative comments. A relative of mine is going through same, it was hell in the past...things are getting better now. Not even a dictionary would have more pages if you wrote down the hell you've passed through based on this. Just thank God your dad is supportive. You are not alone, God is with you.

Xda59:
It disgusts you to feed your own mother with your hard earned money because she is hail and hearty? The same woman who carried you for nine tough months and went through labour to have you? Wo, you just placed curse on your head out of ignorance.

Here they go again! They ignore the essense of the thread and try to emotionally blackmail everyone to their crass thought pattern. Feeding her mum is not the basic issue. In fact, if he is financially bouyant enough, the best is to hire a different apartment for her mum with a maid and cook and be providing monthly upkeep for her.

baby124:
Your mum is mentally ill. Most over zealous and over religious people are. It’s the only way they can express what they are going through with passion. Without sounding like they are completely insane. This is where fake pastors cash out. By taking advantage of them.

Please make sure you take care of your needs first, and whatever you can, do for her. Ensure that you are settled first so that you can do more for her. The truth is, she may have had a mental break because of the stress and pressure to provide for her family and not being appreciated for it. I know you did not really mention your father but it’s obvious the man never pulled his weight.

Hair dressing is a hard and time consuming job. You really do work for every kobo you make. Ordinary braids can take 5-8hrs. It’s not easy at all. She may have been tired of all the stress and responsibility and really needed the break. The way your father could repay her effort for all those years is to quickly marry another wife on a small salary. What a selfish, irresponsible and thoughtless man. Your father is very irresponsible. I can bet that throughout the time your mother was out hustling, he was using her money to carry women. That probably contributed to her ill health.

If you can find time to talk to her in her lucid moments I am sure you will never respect your dad again. Please try and take her to a psychiatrist to get the proper drugs so that she can begin to put her life together. Yes, parents should be responsible for their kids. But, in a case like yours where she is mentally incapable, you really can’t blame her. I understand your frustration, but she needs you right now. I think it will be better if you all can take her out of that house. That may be her first step to healing.

Who knows whether your step mum is the side chick that was tormenting your mother when she was struggling to fend for her family? Now she’s in the house digging her dagger deep while feeding obese on whatever she can lay her hands on. While your mother has to share the same house with her. What a horrible life for your mum.

Very well articulated and accurate. You left no point untouched.

kense88:
A big lie. Is actually the other way round. It is a very big sin for you to bear a child your not prepared to take care of, in the eyes of god and man.
In most western society, you are suppose to save some money when your younger. You don't hope on your children when you get old. Nevertheless, is good to love and assist your parents, if they did you well. In a sane society, the woman should be doing her time in the jail. At your 30s, you should be working your ass of.

Stop lying IDIOT conceived in hate, in an advance country the woman will send the man out of the house for marrying another wife and request for alimony

Swear to God that the holy spirit was the one who told you that it's a big lie and if you lie against the holy spirit the sin will not be forgiven

Haven't you seen grown ass men/women above 30/ 35 years in Nigeria who inherited their late brother's property or are depending on their rich brother/son? stop deceiving yourself or are you the type of person that believe in the culture of maltreating kids after the father's demise meanwhile some of them depended on the brother for everything even to get something doing with their lives, stop lying we know what is happening in Nigeria. Can you swear that this doesn't happen in Nigeria. Stop lying it's not good for your soul