Divorce her and save yourself from the agony of having to put up with a lady who goes about sharing her coochie. Once a cheat is always a cheat and don't even think that she'll change. She would get smarter instead!

Femsyn:
OK. Why do I have a feeling this whole story will change soon as your wife's side of the story is heard?

You're 25. Dated since 2008. Married 2015. Had a baby girl in 2015.

A little mathematics shows you got married at 22. Started dating while you were 15. Wife is, I assume, younger, since she's just serving. It also shows that perhaps, pregnancy prompted the wedding in 2015.

From your writeup, I sense you feel she's an ingrate despite the financial assurance you provide.

What do I see?

I see a bored young lady who seem caged and wants to be set loose!!!

Your mathematics might be wrong!
What if they got married jan,feb or even march?

FloraEC:

No offense
Are you married or cohabiting with a woman?

Why are you interested in my marital status?

Do married men in your family take back cheating wives?

Toeyean1507:

Your mathematics might be wrong!
What if they got married jan,feb or even march?

That's why I used the words "assume", "perhaps". Because I might be wrong or right. Same way the OP has pointed out the wife is a year older. OK?

Elder001:


Why are you interested in my marital status?

Do married men in your family take back cheating wives?

Thanks for answering
The Op marital problem is none of my biz cos he'll still do what he wants to.

As for your question, still none of my biz

Acidosis:


Shut it! God doesn't know you. Divorce is an option. Go and read your bible and stop spreading fake gospel online.

I will laminate this post

realtalk19:


Even if he forgives, can he forget the deeds?

That is why it is his prerogative to choose the way he reacts in the end.

@bold, Really? You must be blind.
Maybe you should note the commenters on this thread and see exactly what they say when a woman comes crying that her husband is cheating on her.
Even if he brings the other woman or women home, she is still made to feel like an terrible person for not being happy about it.

Why do you think my middle name is “evil feminist” ? Because I dared to give the same advice to women that the hypocritical men are giving their fellow man on this thread.

When you say “no sane man will take back a cheating wife” you’ve basically made my point because I’m pretty sure you will never say “no sane woman should take back a cheating husband”. If that’s not psychosocial conditioning that forces women to accept the same crap that makes all of you cringe, I don’t know what it is.

As for OP, I have no advice for you.

I usually have no sympathy for men who get cheated on. Sorry it’s not your fault. It’s how the world is now. On the bright side. The man your wife slept with is probably married as well. Men have the right to be polygamous and he’s just exercising his right. I hope you feel better with time. It takes time.

Elder001:


Nobody forced women to take back cheating husbands .Btw ,you speak like a teenager just discovering her breasts.

I'm sure you don't know what marriage is that's why you typed that rubbish. I repeat "no sane man will take back a cheating wife".

When your brothers wives cheat on them you can give them the advice you just dropped.

LadySarah:


What is your own self.Do they should separate and you will have peace while you are in your own marriage!Even if they divorce he still won't forget it so why not make peace.

He is human,nobody said he won't forget it.Time will eventually do it if he is willing to forgive her.

I have seen up to 3 marriages that rose up after these.

Most of you that always recommend divorce are;in bitter marriages,unmarried,and jealous of beautiful marriages.



Except for Domestic/Emotional violence,give couples room to make amends until it is repeated then you can move on.

Divorce isn't the first option!!

Ladysarah you don't need to raise nerves on top the matter. It's just an opinion ok. If this same man decides not to divorce but makes marriage hell for her nko, she should endure abi? U at being sentimental abeg. If it's you will u let go? Be sincere except if u don't av any other means of survival or u ar relly enduring.

Nne it's my opinion and I talk from a realistic point of view.

MarijuanaLORD:
Seriously its always better when a man cheats than when a woman cheats

Women carry way too much baggage


Who knows the the said daughter no be the op own

This is why marrying a lazy hoe isnt advisable

Here they come.

Elder001

LadySarah:


Let him do his wish then,both of them will lose not me.

Gbam! U have spoken

This is so pathetic, not like she's suffering but it's in her already.A leopard will never change its colour.The only thing that can change her is if she genuinely gives her life to Christ. A man can still cheat(even though it's very bad too) but a woman that respect her children and husband won't try such.Even if you're not satisfying her sexually,she ought to mould you to her taste.Try and know who you're dating don't rush into marriage, I'm sure there is gonna be some warning signals you ignored then coz you've loved up or she's carrying your baby already.Use your head please cox this is a serious matter and God shall lead you right.

Taylor430:
Thanks a lot to everyone who has shared his/her opinion and I was able to gain a thing or two from you guys.

She is 26. She is a year older than I am and we started as secondary school sweet hearts. The thing is we have always been together all our adult lives. I don’t understand why some people are saying I didn’t let her enjoy her youth. She is the only woman I have ever had an intercourse with and I try my best to make sure we always communicate about these things.

She called her mom today and she explained everything to her mom. Well I don’t know what was said but she called me to inform me she is coming to our house and she was pleading with me on the phone. I don’t want to involve my mom yet because she loves me and she will fight tooth and nail to make sure this get messy.

I have been here thinking if I don’t have my daughter, the decision would have been very easy to make. I know no matter how I try my decision will surely affect my daughter. She will have to live with my mom because I have to work. I believe no one can ever take care of her like I would.

I have packed my bags and I’m ready to leave the country for a month so I can find peace. Will I ever find peace again. My heart is shattered! I don’t know how long this has been going on! She would go have sex with him and come back home to kiss my daughter and I.

I saw some people on your platform advise me to submit myself for STI/STD. Well I will be doing that but I have treated myself for STI three times this year. I wondered how I got them. I trusted my wife and I thought she got it from a public toilet. I was stupid and blind.

It is well with your soul,i really feel for you.God will lead you right and guide you in the decisions to make.

LadySarah:


Nne,shift one side.No two ppl are wired the same.If all women were to divorce based on their husbands cheating,80 percent marriages would be over.

This is an isolated case,a woman cheated
.Has anyone asked her why she did it?let's not crucify her because she is a woman. She deserves a second chance
.She is just 26 and has married for four years ,she may not have been mentally/psychologically for that marriage or maybe the feeling of missing out on things happening with singles.

They should forgive her because that is what they would have told her if the reverse were to be the case.

You have made a lot of sense, especially when you mentioned 80% of husband's are cheats and are being forgiven daily.
You are actually right.
I just worry for this repeated STI the OP has been treating. OP, please if you chose the path of forgiveness, both you and your wife need to go and do tests for STIs including HIV, and make sure you're both treated for STI. She may not even know she has one.
Pls, make sure you are always using condom o.
Another thing is, the wife may be tired of the marriage, and may no longer want the OP.
OP, I really wish your family the best regardless of your decision

cococandy:
@bold, Really? You must be blind.
Maybe you should note the commenters on this thread and see exactly what they say when a woman comes crying that her husband is cheating on her.
Even if he brings the other woman or women home, she is still made to feel like an terrible person for not being happy about it.

Why do you think my middle name is “evil feminist” ? Because I dared to give the same advice to women that the hypocritical men are giving their fellow man on this thread.

When you say “no sane man will take back a cheating wife” you’ve basically made my point because I’m pretty sure you will never say “no sane woman should take back a cheating husband”. If that’s not psychosocial conditioning that forces women to accept the same crap that makes all of you cringe, I don’t know what it is.

As for OP, I have no advice for you.

I usually have no sympathy for men who get cheated on. Sorry it’s not your fault. It’s how the world is now. On the bright side. The man your wife slept with is probably married as well. Men have the right to be polygamous and he’s just exercising his right. I hope you feel better with time. It takes time.

Not trying to sound sentimental but men don't attach much emotional importance to sex but women do. A man fvcks because he wants to not necessarily because he has affection for the woman but most times a woman only fvcks when she has affection.
You also can't hold Nigerian men to the same standard because they suffer a lot just to provide for the family, I don't think any family relative will advise you to jeopardize what the man has to offer because he cheated. But, I repeat "no sane man will take back a cheating wife".

If a woman cheats on her husband and he takes her back note that the following is at play;
The woman is the breadwinner
The man doesn't have sense
The man is a sissy.


Dear Coco, it's time you accept the truth. Women are hypergamous in nature and you don't see men complaining neither can they do anything to stop it but why can't you women just accept men as polygamous?
I'm not in anyway justifying cheating by men though.

And here comes the bullshit again.

1) tell women how they feel about sex. Even though you’ve never been a woman before. how about those times I just wanted to have sex for sex itself. Oh wait That can’t be right. Elder says as a woman, that’s not possible.

2) imply that women don’t provide for their families despite evidence that many women of reproductive age in Nigeria work and provide for the homes when married. So the provider has earned the right to cheat? I’m just repeating your words. “We can’t hold them to the same standards because they work hard to provide”. So women who contribute financially to the home can cheat then. Okay got it.

3) tell coco to accept the truth as defined by elder001. So even if I have just plain no-strings-attached sexual feelings for a man who isn’t married to me, I’m supposed to decide I’m emotionally tied to him because elder says that’s the truth about women.
If I know women who make money and support their families, I’m supposed to disregard their contributions because elder only thinks men work hard to provide for their homes not women.

See I’ve done this useless back and forth for years on nairaland and I know how it ends. That’s why I don’t bother anymore. And I don’t sympathize with any of you who gets cheated on. Because you are mostly the same at your core.

You all claim not to endorse male infidelity but your words say the opposite. (like you made a point to tell me) after making a long list of why men should get a free pass to cheat. So even if you get cheated on and made to raise another man’s kids, I have zero sympathy.

The only thing I can tell you is that men sleep women (at least the majority do). So while y’all are sleeping around, you’re sharing your women. It’s inevitable. There are only so many women, and men are even more in number. You can’t cheat without sharing.
We can’t accept your polygamous nature the same way you can’t accept our polygamous nature. Because we are also humans like you guys and hurt the same way when we are betrayed.
Don’t get mad about it.

Elder001:


Not trying to sound sentimental but men don't attach much emotional importance to sex but women do. A man fvcks because he wants to not necessarily because he has affection for the woman but most times a woman only fvcks when she has affection.
You also can't hold Nigerian men to the same standard because they suffer a lot just to provide for the family, I don't think any family relative will advise you to jeopardize what the man has to offer because he cheated. But, I repeat "no sane man will take back a cheating wife".

If a woman cheats on her husband and he takes her back note that the following is at play;
The woman is the breadwinner
The man doesn't have sense
The man is a sissy.


Dear Coco, it's time you accept the truth. Women are hypergamous in nature and you don't see men complaining neither can they do anything to stop it but why can't you women just accept men as polygamous?
I'm not in anyway justifying cheating by men though.

Elder001:


Why do you females think everything is a joke?

You're so sentimental to the extent that you want him to take back a wife who not only cheated on him but also gave him stds? Are you for real or just a sarcastic clown?

No sane man will take back a cheating wife .

See, don't bother quoting these stupid ladies with thick akamu for a brain.

They are many in this thread so avoid them.

MarijuanaLORD:
See as females just dey defend their fellow cheating hoe


This days women cheat more than men. i wonder why


Na say men no fit satisfy their women like before abi due to lack of time. As in wetin dey cause this high rate of infidelity in women. [b]Back in the days na men dey cheat more [/b]and the world was a better place but this days hoes ti take over

Most men this days are simply taking care of another mans child. And that is the worst thing that can happen to any man

Na DNA sure pass now. Before person go begin fall in love and take care of another mans bastard

You must have been living under a rock my guy. Do you know how many first borns are bastards? It has always been like so. Welcome to the real world, now take a seat.

Elder001:


Why are you interested in my marital status?

Do married men in your family take back cheating wives?

I think they do, that's what she's trying to say

Akamu brain people

Nonsense

cococandy:
And here comes the bullshit again.

1) tell women how they feel about sex. Even though you’ve never been a woman before. how about those times I just wanted to have sex for sex itself. Oh wait That can’t be right. Elder says as a woman, that’s not possible.

2) imply that women don’t provide for their families despite evidence that many women of reproductive age in Nigeria work and provide for the homes when married. So the provider has earned the right to cheat? I’m just repeating your words. “We can’t hold them to the same standards because they work hard to provide”. So women who contribute financially to the home can cheat then. Okay got it.

3) tell coco to accept the truth as defined by elder001. So even if I have just plain no-strings-attached sexual feelings for a man who isn’t married to me, I’m supposed to decide I’m emotionally tied to him because elder says that’s the truth about women.
If I know women who make money and support their families, I’m supposed to disregard their contributions because elder only thinks men work hard to provide for their homes not women.

See I’ve done this useless back and forth for years on nairaland and I know how it ends. That’s why I don’t bother anymore. And I don’t sympathize with any of you who gets cheated on. Because you are mostly the same at your core.

You all claim not to endorse male infidelity but your words say the opposite. (like you made a point to tell me) after making a long list of why men should get a free pass to cheat. So even if you get cheated on and made to raise another man’s kids, I have zero sympathy.

The only thing I can tell you is that men sleep women (at least the majority do). So while y’all are sleeping around, you’re sharing your women. It’s inevitable. There are only so many women, and men are even more in number. You can’t cheat without sharing.
We can’t accept your polygamous nature the same way you can’t accept our polygamous nature. Because we are also humans like you guys and hurt the same way when we are betrayed.
Don’t get mad about it.

Such an emotional outburst!

The truth hurts but you'll have to deal with it.

greyham:


You must have been living under a rock my guy. Do you know how many first borns are bastards? It has always been like so. Welcome to the real world, now take a seat.

You are right man but shit has gotten worse compared to before



Seriously women can be heartless attimes, to me the worst thing that can happen to any man is to father another mans child, the love, time and everything

LOrd knows i fit commit murder for this kinda stuff


Anyways Thank God for DNA

Elder001:


Not trying to sound sentimental but men don't attach much emotional importance to sex but women do. A man fvcks because he wants to not necessarily because he has affection for the woman but most times a woman only fvcks when she has affection.
You also can't hold Nigerian men to the same standard because they suffer a lot just to provide for the family, I don't think any family relative will advise you to jeopardize what the man has to offer because he cheated. But, I repeat "no sane man will take back a cheating wife".

If a woman cheats on her husband and he takes her back note that the following is at play;
The woman is the breadwinner
The man doesn't have sense
The man is a sissy.


Dear Coco, it's time you accept the truth. Women are hypergamous in nature and you don't see men complaining neither can they do anything to stop it but why can't you women just accept men as polygamous?
I'm not in anyway justifying cheating by men though.

100% True man

Elder001:



Such an emotional outburst!

The truth hurts but you'll have to deal with it.

And there comes the final pointless rejoinder about emotions when there’s nothing more meaningful to say. Not like any of the others posts have been meaningful anyway.

Your posts haven’t been emotional? I guess not. You have been most logical and factual. Mine was definitely emotional because I’m a woman.

Well I’m dealing with “the truth” the same way OP is dealing with the truth and many of you are also dealing with the truth without even knowing it.

Good job raising those kids that y’all are planting in each other’s homes

cococandy:


And there comes the final pointless rejoinder about emotions when there’s nothing more meaningful to say. Not like any of the others posts have been meaningful anyway.

Your posts haven’t been emotional? I guess not. You have been most logical and factual. Mine was definitely emotional because I’m a woman.

Well I’m dealing with “the truth” the same way OP is dealing with the truth and many of you are also dealing with the truth without even knowing it.

Good job raising those kids that y’all are planting in each other’s homes

Your point exactly is because women don't leave most times when men cheat ,men should also take back cheating wives?

Something for you, nothing hurts a man more than another man fvcking his wife. Even in a relationship, nothing hurts more than your gf being fvcked by another man.
Even if a man is a serial cheater he can't take it if his wife cheats that's just the way things are wired and you can't change it.

I'm sure you won't advice your brother to take back a cheating wife.

Elder001:


Your point exactly is because women don't leave most times when men cheat ,men should also take back cheating wives?

I have no opinion about that. People should do what they want. I’m saying I don’t have sympathy for them when they are cheated on. Not wasting my data to sympathize with someone who would justify such actions if he were on the other end.

Something for you, nothing hurts a man more than another man fvcking his wife. Even in a relationship, nothing hurts more than your gf being fvcked by another man.

Same with women. Except that men like you keep belittling their humanity by telling them their pain is illegitimate. You paint them bad for having and expressing the same amount of hurt you show when betrayed. The most effective tool of oppressor is to dehumanize the oppressed. That way they can feel good about doing whatever they want without their conscience pricking them. Telling yourselves that men hurt more when cheated on makes you feel good about cheating because you don’t believe it hurts women as much.

Even if a man is a serial cheater he can't take it if his wife cheats that's just the way things are wired and you can't change it.

Astounding hypocrisy seasoned with the ever authoritarian statement on how things are and why they should be accepted that way. Unfortunately for you, everything around you keeps proving you wrong. Yet you’re here grasping at straws. And mansplaining to those who care to listen why your opinions are final. Keep trying. Someone will believe you someday

Even you won't advice your brother to take back a cheating wife.

If he’s a cheat, then he better take her back and shut the hell up.

Cococandy please how did your middle name come to be "evil feminist"?

Can I get the story? please?

tabithababy:
Na wa o

Forgive her, Pray and fast for her, start dressing seductively, give her monkey in snake shadow

Una Don start

cococandy:

I have no opinion about that. People should do what they want. I’m saying I don’t have sympathy for them when they are cheated on. Not wasting my data to sympathize with someone who would justify such actions if he were on the other end.


Same with women. Except that men like you keep belittling their humanity by telling them their pain is illegitimate. You paint them bad for having and expressing the same amount of hurt you show when betrayed. The most effective tool of oppressor is to dehumanize the oppressed. That way they can feel good about doing whatever they want without their conscience pricking them. Telling yourselves that men hurt more when cheated on makes you feel good about cheating because you don’t believe it hurts women as much.



Astounding hypocrisy seasoned with the ever authoritarian statement on how things are and why they should be accepted that way. Unfortunately for you, everything around you keeps proving you wrong. Yet you’re here grasping at straws. And mansplaining to those who care to listen why your opinions are final. Keep trying. Someone will believe you someday



If he’s a cheat, then he better take her back and shut the hell up.

You'll log out and face reality.

K.

Taylor430:
Thanks a lot to everyone who has shared his/her opinion and I was able to gain a thing or two from you guys.

She is 26. She is a year older than I am and we started as secondary school sweet hearts. The thing is we have always been together all our adult lives. I don’t understand why some people are saying I didn’t let her enjoy her youth. She is the only woman I have ever had an intercourse with and I try my best to make sure we always communicate about these things.

She called her mom today and she explained everything to her mom. Well I don’t know what was said but she called me to inform me she is coming to our house and she was pleading with me on the phone. I don’t want to involve my mom yet because she loves me and she will fight tooth and nail to make sure this get messy.

I have been here thinking if I don’t have my daughter, the decision would have been very easy to make. I know no matter how I try my decision will surely affect my daughter. She will have to live with my mom because I have to work. I believe no one can ever take care of her like I would.

I have packed my bags and I’m ready to leave the country for a month so I can find peace. Will I ever find peace again. My heart is shattered! I don’t know how long this has been going on! She would go have sex with him and come back home to kiss my daughter and I.

I saw some people on your platform advise me to submit myself for STI/STD. Well I will be doing that but I have treated myself for STI three times this year. I wondered how I got them. I trusted my wife and I thought she got it from a public toilet. I was stupid and blind.

the time u both agreed to marry no one was there...now that u have serious trust issues...I suggest u bring that cheating brat to a round table with u and make her accept a new deal because of the child. make her understand d following terms clearly..

!. u can never trust her again.

2. she has to leave your house to give you time to heal(quiet separation) she can go with d child if d child wants to follow her...

3. She is never to near u or ur house without ur permission. this arrangement is to be held until ur child starts secondary SCH. then u guys will now official discuss divorce. ur daughter being in school Dormitory makes it a lot easier for u.

GC. never live under d same roof with an adulterous wife... most women think with d pussy and always protects their good dic.k against all odds. ask her why? she will tell u,' I love him'.

Daeylar:
Cococandy please how did your middle name come to be "evil feminist"?

Can I get the story? please?

Lol. I can’t even narrate the genesis.

I was just very vocal about the BS on this forum for the longest time. So, any time someone had something to say about “those evil feminists”, Coco always got the first mention.

And any lady who agrees with me was part of the coven of witches. The non-virtuous women who didn’t preach for women to wear red pant and bra and lay down to get trampled in order to keep a man. Got so many inbox threats. oh my

Anyway long time sha. I guess the less active you’re, the less you come across BS. That’s sort of reduced now.

Elder001:


You'll log out and face reality.

K.

the reality that many men aren’t fathers of their kids? I know

cococandy:


Lol. I can’t even narrate the genesis.

I was just very vocal about the BS on this forum for the longest time. So, any time someone had something to say about “those evil feminists”, Coco always got the first mention.

And any lady who agrees with me was part of the coven of witches. The non-virtuous women who didn’t preach for women to wear red pant and bra and lay down to get trampled in order to keep a man.

Lmao lol
The way they rant and rave against feminist you would think feminists are evil demons, ask them the issues they have against feminist now and they can't even say a reasonable thing.

Got so many inbox threats. oh my

They took it that far?
Wow

Anyway long time sha. I guess the less active you’re, the less you come across BS. That’s sort of reduced now.

That name is just so funny. Lol,

sorry dear.

Thank ya