mcrity46:
The man really love you but it seems you are his problem, because psychologically when you see a man doing like that it shows he has true passion for you that's why he's getting jealousy all the time. To cut it short, you are double dating you are just here to seek advice from your fellow prosty

Believe me you're a simp.

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

If you stay, u must die Soon


Riele, funmisticqueen, bukatyne, babythug, virgoquin, Fountainofyouth, sisioge, Houseofglam7, chii8, ammyluv2002, dannyla (u especially, Werey ni e, omo ale, u can't see another man dt u want wana kill ursef for an abuser), ladysarah

U all can see that ladies are foolish u guys just come on nairaland and pretend to be strong but in the real life, this is what you guys are facing

I'm a man and I don't care, I wish to see that guy and beat him to stupor.
Op I don't know how u flirt oo coz u didn't tell us ur own behavior too but I don't care..

Ur guy is mad, he gave u several Knocks, humiliated you, called ur sis a prostitute and you are still with him.

Op if you don't leave him, you will die in 1 year time.. U r mad and I am angry with you....

End time girl oshi

Yeye dey smell. If your story is seemly true. Then your are just too desperate to marry him cos of what you are getting or going to get. Marry him, if you not dead soon, you definitely be deformed/handicapped sooner.

dannyla:
Hmmmm, all the contributions are soo true but I fear he may become violent and go extreme. I've heard crazy things from him before.

Idiot, no matter what we tell u, u will still go to him.. Gerrout

Pls stay in that relationship and make the man exactly how you want him to be! U are in charge. You only need perseverance now... What if all this are a mere test? Which will end up getting car for you? Are u going into another man's life to start learning a new life? Your man is temperamental, help him to understand the good side of it. You are in charge!

God has shown you the way to your early grave well ahead so that you can easily avoid it and maneuver it with due diligence and yet you're here asking how...
Don't send yourself to early grave dear.. He's not in love with you.. Atimes we confused selfish obsession with love... He's obsessed with something about you possibly your physical endowments or any other thing.. He's not in love with you and not the right man for you

Madam,if this is happening during courtship when you hardly know much about each other,what's going to happen after marriage?wife needs to be submissive to her husband truly but not to accept cheats that will grow to become an iroko tree in the nearest future.

dannyla:


Hmmmm,
My mom was deflowered by a rapist and all she ever asked of me was to get married as a virgin. Till today, she doesn't know that I was raped too. She once told me she will die a sad woman if I don't keep her request. My father died when I was a girl. My mother sold her clothes to raise us.
If I leave, he'll tell her I'm not a virgin anymore and she will never have that peace she has now. I can't watch my mum suffer for something she didn't do. My mum once used to be hypertensive. What if it comes back due to shock? My aunt used to mock my mom over the rape before our very eyes and my mum simply told her that one wasn't her fault but her children will marry honourably. My mother's pride is the reason I let the rapist walk free. This man knows and will tell everyone.

I'm not yet strong enough to relocate us very far away or foot any drastic bill. That's a major reason I've been tolerating. The advise from those around me doesn't help either. That's why I seek public opinion

Ode, mumu... See call ur mum and talk to her.... Let her know, don't let any guy cheats u with ur past......


Make we chat on WhatsApp.. Dm me


Don't take it, if u wana hide this now, it will be revealed later and u will suffer more lwrst fate than this

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

dont limit your self esteem to any man else you will be use as an object of mockery.. Wiseup

mikeywise:
why will a man knock a grown up woman repeatedly on the head? Run for your life now that you can.

You line cracked me up

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

God has shown you the way to your early grave well ahead so that you can easily avoid it and maneuver it with due diligence and yet you're here asking how...
Don't send yourself to early grave dear.. He's not in love with you.. Atimes we confused selfish obsession with love... He's obsessed with something about you possibly your physical endowments or any other thing.. He's not in love with you and not the right man for you
He lacks respect for you and your family by calling you and your sister prostitutes... I know he has money or he's comfortable and he gives and that's why your people wants him around you... Materialism

Abeg flee for your life but do this with sense cos he may plan to hurt or kill you if he can't have you...

A word is enough for the wise else I bet it if you marry him you will definitely return to NL if you are lucky to be alive under his abuse to come and open new account and new sorry thread... Run

Counselors everywhereg
In my candid opinion, you should've sought the face of God on wisdom and direction, first i hate men that knock, beat, bundle, kick, slap women. That reason alone has disqualify the moral standard of that guy not to even check the spiritual standard. Note that those advicing you to cöntinue are either victims of failed marriage, relationship and they want u to follow suit. God first before anythn.

To the guys. Pls those in the habit of beating, knocking, kicking women, pls work on your anger and refrain from that attitude.

To the ladies, don't push the guys to wall, don't disobey orders in the name of trying to test his patience. Watch out!

Meanwhile EL CLASSICO pan the way #HALLA@MADRID DE LOS BLANCOS DE GALACTICOS.

[quote author=dannyla post=849l
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head . He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

[/quote]
Firstly how did u get to know grace has been gossiping about you to him...it may not be true, it may just be the man.
Secondly, Trust is very important in a relationship, if that bedrock is inconsistent, then prepare for worse in the future.
Thirdly, Anger is a dangerous feature either man or woman, just a letter different from danger... Don't walk with angry people, u r bringing urself into bondage if u do.
Fifthly, marry your friend not a dictator.

You think your skull is metal abi? Stay there until he cracks it for you.

This is not love my dear.
The beating and insults you are receiving now is a preamble to what will happen after your marriage.

Run for your life before this man kills you. A word is a enough for the wise.

he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks

The above is so so funny.

Marriage is for a life time.
My dear sister run for your life, if you still value it.

OP please stop telling men some silly truths.. What's the meaning of the rape story you told him in the name of your nonsense church honesty.. No man has no right to your rape story.. Atimes men requesting for such details do so to have a vantage against you to make you feel trapped and at their mercies altho immature they are..
You yourself are sure the guy you call your husband to be can't protect your secret if he is angry
. If you go ahead marry him.. Your dad's spirit will curse you.. I feel like weeping cos of your insensitive.. Your bill God will cater.. Leave that fool pleease...

I won't to talk to you on phone if you're willing

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

My dear, that guy will kill you someday. You can't change a leopard color. Move on to the next level

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

OP please stop telling men some silly truths.. What's the meaning of the rape story you told him in the name of your nonsense church honesty.. No man has no right to your rape story.. Atimes men requesting for such details do so to have a vantage against you to make you feel trapped and at their mercies altho immature they are..
You yourself are sure the guy you call your husband to be can't protect your secret if he is angry
. If you go ahead marry him.. Your dad's spirit will curse you.. I feel like weeping cos of your insensitivity... Your bill God will cater.. Leave that fool pleease...

I won't mind to talk to you on phone if you're willing

Aunty pls RUN.we don't want to bury any nairalander ooo

Sister, Humans Really don't change like that. Make that guy no go kill you after marrying you ooo...
Better remain single that suffer domestic violence that was avoidable.

I don't usually make comments, but let me drop this.


My dear, run for your life. The fact that He's a woman beater is a NO NO for me. He insulted you in public, He's insecure, No trust. Marriage is for a life time, when you make that vow be ready to keep it for as long as you both shall live. This is just a glimse of what you'll see in your marriage, if you're ready for it then stay in the relationship and marry him otherwise, take your leave. No matter how and what a wife say to the husband, he should NEVER in his life raise his hands on his wife. He should continue loving his wife as his own body. Let me stop for now.

okirewaju:
If I were you, I'll take off the current footwear I'm putting on and flee


A man that has verbal diarrhea is a turn off plus a woman beater and still insecure


They will keep edging you until you fall into that pit. There is a difference between Wedding Ceremony and the Marriage itself.

You deserve so much better. Don't settle for less

okirewaju:
If I were you, I'll take off the current footwear I'm putting on and flee


A man that has verbal diarrhea is a turn off plus a woman beater and still insecure


They will keep edging you until you fall into that pit. There is a difference between Wedding Ceremony and the Marriage itself.



You deserve so much better. Don't settle for less

Better to leave while you can with your head still intact or dive into it and become a victim of domestic violence... I recommend you see this Series “YOU” your fiancée and the actor have exactly the same character.. he loves you too much that he stalks you and ready to deal with anybody he sees as threat .. please don’t bow to external pressure

Bia, eyia, what are you still doing there
Will you run for your life before I come and pursue you by myself?
Nonsense and ingredients

I don't usually make comments, but let me drop this.


My dear, run for your life. The fact that He's a woman beater is a NO NO for me. He insulted you in public, He's insecure, No trust, No Respect. Is that how he treats himself?. Marriage is for a life time, when you make that vow be ready to keep it for as long as you both shall live. This is just a glimse of what you'll see in your marriage, if you're ready for it then stay in the relationship and marry him otherwise, take your leave. No matter how and what a wife say to the husband, he should NEVER in his life raise his hands on his wife. He should continue loving his wife as his own body. Let me stop for now.

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

Run while you can!

@Iamstrange, thanks for the advice.[left][/left]

IAmStrange:
I have come to notice that most times when human beings fall in love, we lose our willpower. People mistake it for sense - meaning we lose our sense but it's not true in many cases.

The person who is in love can actually have His sense intact and functioning and in every event, he knows the right thing to do... But he just doesn't do it because he has lost his willpower and his resolve has become weak so he runs around seeking advice from people so that their comments can serve as a sort of motivation to carry on with what he already thinks or knows he should do.

Secondly, you were saying he loves you to a fault. I don't want to dispute that. But I want you to know that "love" is not the only thing to be considered when choosing a spouse. You must not - I repeat - you must not marry someone JUST because he loves you. Love is not the only thing that guarantees happiness in a marriage.

There are more important things to be considered.

Do you really think those husbands that send their wives to the hospital after beating them thoroughly do not love their wives? in fact, they sometimes do that due to extreme love and protective jealousy for their wives?

Do you think all those men who womanize and cheat on their wives do not love their wives? In fact, in many cases, they do love their wives and give her all respect and love she deserves and would never allow any man come near her. Yet, they are serious cheats!!!

You are going to live with the character of your man and the character of your man is one of the major factors that will determine if he will make a good husband, father, in law to your people and if he will make a good "head of the family".

So cancel out that idea that "he loves me to a fault" if you think that that's enough for you to give in to him.

It's better for you to marry someone who loves you averagely and he treats you like the "queen" you are than get married to someone who "loves you to a fault" and he treats you like you are "serving a sentence as a prisoner" in his house.

Then thirdly, I want you to know that, that man has serious issues and if I were you, I will flee from entering into a marriage with such a person.

Please open your mind - that guy is going to cage you. He's probably going to make your life miserable.

- He has anger issues.
- He has trust issues
- He is uncultured (calling your sister a prostitute and hurling insults at you)
- He is a wife beater
- he jumps to stupid conclusions hastily (calling you a prostitute and going to the extent of taking your pictures)
- He checks your phone and wrongly accuses you of different things
- His jealousy is overboard

Believe me, A man who has all the above will probably make life miserable for you.

He may be the kind of man that will make you sit at home and cut you off the world. Then he maltreats you and doesn't take care of you, making you age faster and weaker as time goes on. Then he will be giving outsiders the impression that he is taking care of you and when you try to complain, they listen to him and not you.

And when you now start looking miserable, he ends up cheating on you with more beautiful girls out there while he leaves you at home to your misery.

There are men like this out there - that guy may be one.

So I advise you to flee from him. Do not listen to anyone. Don't let anyone pressure you into accepting him. They are not the ones to bear the pain and when you die and they get to know the true story, they will still blame you for accepting him.

That's life!

Then, please, do not also think low of yourself and pressure yourself into accepting him just because single men are not coming or because of your age.

Marrisge is a beAutiful thing but that's only when it's with the right person.

Being happily single is better than being miserably married

If you listen to the stories of many married women out there, you will thank your Lord and consider your single status a blessing, thanking God for saving you from what those married women have experienced.

I don't know your age but I think you are probably "not too old" yet.

Please, think positively of your God, yourself and aim for good.

Leave that man and after you have done that, pray to your Lord to bring you a good man you can settle down with.

And while you are still waiting, please be patient and understand that our major purpose on earth is to serve God. That's the major and true success.

Being single doesn't mean that you are a failure, don't let society pressure you into believing that.

The one who is married doesn't necessarily have more superiority in the eyes of God than the single one. The level of superiority is measured by how much you are close to God, how much of righteousness you achieve on earth and how much you do things that matter to the whole world - things that affect people positively.

Being single may turn out to be a blessing on its own. I know some people who went to very great heights of which it would have been difficult to achieve if they got married. What matters is your happiness, your wellbeing and how much your Creator is pleased with you.

So pray to your Lord and hope for good and be positive that he will send you a good man. But while you are waiting, try to do other meaningful things in your life that will bring you happiness.

Don't settle for a bad man who will make your life miserable.


May God soften your heart and grant you your desires.

dannyla

dannyla:
Hmmmm, all the contributions are soo true but I fear he may become violent and go extreme. I've heard crazy things from him before.

And this is who you want to marry? Don't you love yourself?

Speaking from first hand experience, please I beg you run for your life as I know this behaviour of your man will not stop. It's most likely going to get worsen after you are finally married to him. I don't know what your understanding of love is, but what I know is, love that gives you continual pain and abuse is no love....If your legs are too weak to run, please come and borrow my legs.

Those people around your will bury you when he kills you and we will read about it in weekend punch barely 2 years after marriage...mumu

Nat404:
The lady in context is a serial cheater. Unfortunately for her, the man found out after going through her online messages. Instead of this lady to move on with her life, she turned part of the episode upside-down in order to get support. As usually, folks who are naive with the situation here already supporting her.

It seems you are the only one seeing through her shenanigan. Others are just idiots