Make I find trouble. E be like say una be igbo your mama and papa. Emeka ajeokuta ma Mu omi?

DeCleff:
LEARN FROM THIS STORY.

I was dating a young girl (Edith) and we really loved each other. But along the line while she was in Port Harcourt, her parents called her to come home for an important meeting and she went.

When she came back from Umuahia, she told me that HER PARENTS ASKED HER TO MARRY ONE OPPRESSOR ( A WEALTHY GUY) Who based in Lagos and haue come to ask for her hand in marriage. I couldn't stop her because she came from a poor home and her parents wanted the money without considering their daughter's happiness.

Three days to her tradhtional marriage, she came to invite me, passed the night with me and we made love. But i didnt attend the ceremony. Though everything went on well.

But a year later the man died and she already had a daughter for the man and THE FAMILY OF THE MAN CHASED HER AWAY WITH THE DAUGHTER.

Now the poor girl who was forced against her will, is suffering with no one to help. I have search for her but couldnt find her.

SO ASK YOURSELF IF YOU ARE READY FOR IT BEFORE GIVING IN TO YOUR PARENTS DESIRE.

Africa Magic.....lol

So, force marriage still happen in the south, thought it was only north dat has dat nonsence mentality. Up till 2day, force marriage is still prominent in d north cos of low education and male chauvinism.
@OP, follow ur hart gal, ur parent are nt goin to live ur life for u, jus xplain to dem in a mature manner, and moreover seek God face. CIAO

OP Seems like you've already made up your mind to marry next year.
I don't see why a struggling guy would rent a 3 bedroom apartment for himself alone, this shows that he isn't thinking of just himself or being selfish.
Do this guy a favor and create space for someone who wouldn't hesitate to leave him cause of his present situation.

Marriage is not an escape route, there's more to life. Re evaluate your priorities. Add value to yourself and assist your family, don't have expectations from anyone...rich or poor. Then get married based on your values.

take your time to think.tell your suitor to wait till next year.if he truly loves you then he will wait.but if he can't wait then u should know he is not the right man for you.don't take it hard on yourself.

can

ndcide: if i say that the OP is not ready for marriage some persons will take it too far. go and develop yourself first. befor you get married you should be abel to hear from your God.(chi). you want to base your marital decision on the opinion of nairalanders? thats crazy.

that you date a guy does not make him the right person for you. poor or rich. may i ask, are you 100 percent sure the rich guy is not the right man for you? who says he cant be. are you 100percent sure the other guy won't change his mind about you in future?. leave nairaland alone and go on your knees and pray and stop this rubbish. you want to get married into another family blindfolded? or as blind as a bat? or from the opinion of strangers. Do you know your God?

Marriages are way-too complex that all psychological theories have failed. and people are failing every day. Go and pray seriously. if possible fast for days. and God will speak to you. don't be lazy. God is more interested in your marriage than you are interested in it. so ask him some how he'll speak and give you peace. whatever happens in future you'll be consoled you heard from God. All human reasoning have failed in issues of marriage. don't reason like the multitude coz you'll get what they get/have.

CIAO

prayer is the key to all confusions, pls dont be in a hurry, wedding maybe beautiful , marriage on d other hand can be very difficult if u marry wrong. Pple who r in marriages nowsday dont know its going to be ds hard, dey thot its going to b sweet all thru...PRAYER IS D KEY

@op, are you ready to pray?
Marriage is a serious issue, i don't know why your people are pressurizing you, i think they should know better. Do not allow any Pastor to decide for you, when it comes to the issue of marriage. Your pastor will not be there, your aunt or parent will not be there.
Ha! If you can do 3 days fasting and prayer alone, crying to God for direction, it is more than that, the 3 days fasting and prayer will never go in vain.
YOU WILL HAVE PEACE IN YOUR HEART.

You are still single. You have time to prepare adequately for your marriage. Do not rush. Do not allow anybody to rush you. Are you happy with this man? Do you really love him? Remember, you are going to be with this man till death. It is such a huge risk. Pls, take your time.


God bless you.
God2man.

ask ur mother why she dint marry a rich man during her own time. If she had, ur family wouldnt be needing a financial saviour now.

ur aunty and ur mother
women should learn to understand that marriage is not a source of income

sashaa: ask ur mother why she dint marry a rich man during her own time. If she had, ur family wouldnt be needing a financial saviour now.

Wucked girl

Bravo.

freecocoa: Wucked girl

Bravo.

right here, most people are just jealous that you are marring to money man imposed on you by your parent, see, your parent know better than you, listen to them and marry the money man.

lefulefu:
my family no need to pressure me.i be smart guy and i am goin to marry a fine yankee babe for greencard

You been "trying" to marry a Yankee for five years....you might want to spice up your scamming game boo boo.

Whose happiness is most important? urs or ur family? If it's that bad, ur mum or aunt should marry him. . . . Do not be sold

septua:
But my mum and my aunty have been begging me to marry him as we are sort of going through financial breakdown and they see him as a kind of saviour.
Plus my mums pastor says he has seen the marriage in vision before now.

If you ask me I would say ur mum and her pastor only saw the man's money in their vision which by the way is normal due to as u have said ur family's financial constraint.

septua:
So i ask please will you consider your family and go into the marriage or wait for your love.

At the end of the day, I expect you would do what u've decided to do. I do hope you make the right decision though, but be adviced that no advise one gives u, here on NL or at home would be right but the one u give urself. That said, I expect u'd stamp ur feet on the floor with irritation but thats all I got 2 say.

Since your aunt and mom are so interested in the money, Why have they not considered rituals since

Women and money sha

Well I must say that if the aim of your family insisting you marry this fellow is to elevate the financial status of your family. You missed the good of marriage He will definitely pay all that is required to enrich your family .However I can assure you the blatant words of remembrance he will use on you when the chips are down. Besides Do you think he will have regard for your family again knowing he paid to buy ohh marry a wife. Think carefully

Go for the money!!

Money can and will make you happy.You just met the man,during these four months your love will grow.

Your poor three bedroom bungalow guy has not passed the fitness test yet to be a man.

Hey u can even use the richman's money to better his life later.

I just hate growing up poor and will never replace "MONEY" with "LOVE".Love is a hormonal thing.

Even in the animal kingdom the alpha male gets all the women.Who cares about love?

Pray and make sure you also have some good savings while leaving with the rich man and get a JOB!Do not be a housewife.Listen to your parents jor.

If you marry this Rich guy who cannot take the time to court a girl, he will see you as nothing more than his property. Paid for just like his car, house and furniture. And just like those things, you may have no say in your own home.

sweetrace: If you marry this Rich guy who cannot take the time to court a girl, he will see you as nothing more than his property. Paid for just like his car, house and furniture. And just like those things, you may have no say in your own home.

poor people have broken homes too.Why not advise her on how to play smart with the rich man-get a job,savings,names on properties- rather than all this poor man talks.

There is no guarantee in this life.Even the poor boyfriend can leave her later once he gets rich...and then what?

For your info,rich people dont have time for all this long term courtship.They know what they want and they are ready to provide.They have nothing else to proof.
Get to know him for the four months,ask people about his character and if no red signs..GBAM.Go for it gal!!

Don't fool Yourself, you mind is already made, You dont need NL to get the advice of what you ought to do. That is what most girls do. they marry the money and not the man. If Money grows on Trees, women will marry Monkey. You have actually described you Man whom you claimed to Love, You are already in doubts, he might leave you or might be lying. Then Go for the Jugular and accept Money like other girls and revel in the outcome. Does it matter? That is why Most Ladies are single. They worshiped money, avarice material things, Good cars and are unwilling to pay the price of love

How do you know if this man really has what he claims? It's not difficult to fake riches in front of someone who has nothing. If he is wealthy, you need to know how he obtained his money and if it is sustainable. Also, what is his temperament? Will he communicate with you or smash your head when he gets angry? Take heed and "do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God..." Observe him around other people and in different environments. Get to know his friends and family. I have a "friend" who married a guy who seemed nice and stable. He was a good provider, but after 6 years she realized that one day he was going to deliver a fatal blow. Now she sits on NL an sips tea in peace.

swtchicgurl:

are you drunk? or why insinuate rubbish?! you don't have to comment you know

I guess he was jst being sarcastic

abdulkayus: So, force marriage still happen in the south, thought it was only north dat has dat nonsence mentality. Up till 2day, force marriage is still prominent in d north cos of low education and male chauvinism.

Did u read same write-up everyone else read? I thot they are 'begging' her to marry d guy

Sorry, I think I get d point u were tryna make when u said "...cos of low education"

AmBeautiful:
Next time you see your mother and Aunt ask them this question:

'If i marry him now,when i don't love him because of money, what happens tomorrow when money finish'

Then come and tell me their answer

My deAR, if you know what is good for you and your generations to come,

"Berra marry who you love, if you marry for money, anything that you sawest later, remember to endurest"

Babe if you have needed 50 naira just to quench hunger,then you wil no money is important.how old are you and that of the the old man?is the old man educated?old men treat ladies well you no!are you sure that young boy wunt disappoint you?my dear love is a choice and time.you can cultivate love for a monkey if he has swaq ooo.think before you leap oo.

@OP, don't tell me that you don't have feelings for this rich man. Otherwise, why did you post it here because i did not see anything to convince me that your parents are forcing you to marry their choice, rather, they are begging you to consider him. You have your choice to make which does not require any third party to do for you. Make your choice and stand by it, after all, you an adult.

septua: Hi.i am young woman in my early 20s. I have been seeing a young man of 30 for about a year now and about 2 months ago he started talking about marriage plans although he hasn't proposed but i took that as one.

He has rented a 3 bedroom apartment and promised to take me to his parents towards the end of the year. Long story short we planned to get married next year.

I trust him although i fear he might disappoint me as he is still struggling. But 3 weeks ago my people called me home from were i was doing my service to meet a man that has come for my hand in marriage. The man is handsome and wealthy but he is 16 years older than me and that alone makes me uncomfortable. Plus i dont really like him.

we seem not to have much in common, But my mum and my aunty have been begging me to marry him as we are sort of going through financial breakdown and they see him as a kind of saviour. Plus my mums pastor says he has seen the marriage in vision before now.

The marriage will be done in less than 4 months if i say yes, And if i say no then i will have to wait for my man till mid next year.

So i ask please will you consider your family and go into the marriage or wait for your love.

baby 4get all this grama they are been telling you all this y.firstly,you are too young to identified what they call love,feeling,money and mariage.you need extra 5yrs 4 dat,u need more education,exposure,travel,all this will make you strong to identified the heaven sent.secondly,nothing bad in ur parent idea,as far as been a rich is nt a crime,they just want better tomorow 4 u,just go and lean how to identified what you are been waiting 4 when u see it,LOVE IN DIASPORA.I saw many maried roosting because of wrong maried all in d name of love,convinence can bring love even if there's no love.pls just change ur thinking because there's nothing wrong maried a rich if its nt a criminal and there's no much difernt in someone senior u with 10yrs and other one 16yrs....anyway u can pity d poor one because his a poor man and u don't want him to cry and I think maybe u leave him because he poor and you can pity d rich man because of ur parent all in d name of pity which is very bad in mariage institution,[pity]tell two of them to come bk after 5yrs don't be afraid many choice is coming ur way once u work hard in ur youth age,dat poor one will be able to work hard and make more money b4 u join him if u decide to chose him by then.....

harvey: Live your life away from all this men drama, you are almost done with service and you are young,are you scared of tomorrow? ignore all these proposals and as for your parents,they have to wait on you to start working for you to help meet their needs... add value to your life and don't let marriage be an escape route.

I like this. Poster go and get a job first and support your parents

AmBeautiful:

My deAR, if you know what is good for you and your generations to come,

"Berra marry who you love, if you marry for money, anything that you sawest later, remember to endurest"

My deAR, if you know what is good for you and your generations to come,

"Berra marry who you love, if you marry for money, anything that you sawest later, remember to endurest"[/quote]

harvey: Live your life away from all this men drama, you are almost done with service and you are young,are you scared of tomorrow? ignore all these proposals and as for your parents,they have to wait on you to start working for you to help meet their needs... add value to your life and don't let marriage be an escape route.

How will you be telling a lady that is rounding off her NYSC to ignore all marriage proposals? Nawa o.

My dear, I wont advice you to marry a man that is 16yrs older than you, unless you love him. I see you loving him anyway because you noted he is ''handsome''. Alternately, dont be in a hurry since you are still young. You can go for any of them.