WAM?:
I totally agree with mko and goofie your missing his point. If you pray for direction from God and your certain that you have found the one why court?-aka studying the person and all. I also grew up with courting doctrines - I heard that day in day out and to be sincere with you it has no biblical backings and most denominations try to limit it to a year now.
When you pray and God shows you the one- you guys can spend time in preparing for your future together- be it through counseling or financial planning and so on. But if you are courting the person 'God' has already shown you to be the one - to see if they change- of what use is that?-even if they change that is Gods choice for you. Or are you doubting God's choice.
The key point here is seeking divine direction from above. We are so limited and no amount of studying would be enough. We have to let go and let God.

i get ur point. why plan for the future if God hs ordained it? why wld u need counselling too? marriages r made in heaven but the work hs to be done on earth.
let me assume tht u meet a woman and u plan ur wedding in the space of three months, wht do u do within those three months?do u see her at all?do u spend time 2geda?do u talk? or do u just wait 4 d wedding day and continue from der?

Goldieluks:


Because it is wrong to court someone for years without marrying that person. Six months courtship
should be the maximum, of getting to know one's partner.

u 4get tht women hv several character,they can show u some afta they enta they gv u wht u dnt xpect

Goldieluks:


As you can see, i listed few characteristics, just to sight as an example. Yes of course men/women who are God fearing
tends to know what they are getting themselves into, and what they want to achieve from a courtship.
I don't know about non- God fearing men.

... Tnk God u said u dnt knw aspa non-GOD fearing men and women...

Goldieluks:


Because it is wrong to court someone for years without marrying that person. Six months courtship
should be the maximum, of getting to know one's partner.

i disagree wit u, six months is small for courtship. There maybe possibility of hidden character or habit to lure d other into marriage. Atleast a yr or 2 is ok.

goofie:

i get ur point. why plan for the future if God hs ordained it? why wld u need counselling too? marriages r made in heaven but the work hs to be done on earth.
let me assume tht u meet a woman and u plan ur wedding in the space of three months, wht do u do within those three months?do u see her at all?do u spend time 2geda?do u talk? or do u just wait 4 d wedding day and continue from der?

Goofie if courting entails planning for the future together then I have nothing against it. But when it's a trial and error process then it's either the individuals involved have not heard from God or they simply do not trust Gods choice. I totally agree with you there is work to be done in understanding each other, setting goals and all but it shouldn't be a time for sampling.

ayobase:

The place is cool and sexy...always!

looking at the possibility of joining u guys over there.
got that jab yet?

dubem3:
looking at the possibility of joining u guys over there.
got that jab yet?

holla at ur buddy anytime u wanna show....na biz levelz?

goofie:

so if God leads u to a lady,u just go n meet her n tell her "u r my wife". and then, the next day, u get married? because u r really sounding naive. God shows u ur wife but he will not come down and help u work it out

When God directs you to where to find your wife or to her as it were,you propose to her.If she accepts fine,if she doesn't accept,it behoves you to try to convince her not by courtship after all you never start courtship with some one who does not want to be in a relationship with you.By the time you convince her to accept you as a husband why the courtship to now see if she is suitable or compatible? What i'm saying is that you dnt need courtship.Period.All you need is to get her to accept you.And wen that happens,go ahead and marry.Your courtship thing i guess isn't to make her accept you but it's to see if you guys are compatible,if you guys can actually live together RIGHT ?You dnt need courtship at all.
What you need is to make her accept you after ur proposal and she still does not want you.If she never want's you as a husband,leave her and move on to another born again christian you like.Apply same principles and you will get married easily without un necessary devlish delays.

Zeebah23: i beg 2 disagree,christians COURT.

'Christians'court does not mean it is the right thing to do.Who are christians?Do you mean church goers or the ignorant christians ?We are saying it isn't proper.It is not right.It contradicts the word of God.It's for un-believers and ignorant christians.
I know this one is too heavy for some of us here but it's biblical.No one or church even the orthodox churches can show me where there is the mention of courtship in the bible or anything that resembles it.
Please friends,if you dnt wnat to be heart broken and used and dumped as a result of frequent pre-marital sex,abstain from courtship.But if you dnt care or give a hoof,continue with courtship.

Zeebah23: Don't take dis personal please,which church do u attend? I asked coz i know most churches teach courtship and how 2 go about it. Are u telling me dat once u know 'd will of God' u just go ahead and get married? Courtship in d christian sense is d period between d time u know who 'd will of God' is and d time u get married.

Friend,i love your statement and questions.My church teach courtship but based on personal or life experiences likewise other churches.But i have started to make every one of us there see that for the fact that we teach it here does not make it biblical.
The christian courtship can't be the time you know who the will of God is and the time you get married cos you can't court in isolation.It happens between two people.And if it's the time to know who the will of God is you dnt have to have any one at hand becos it means you are the one choosing for him to inturn APPROVE who you have presented.
See the line below:
If you dnt know where you are going to,ask for God's direction
After you have been directed to ur would be life partner or to WHERE you will find her,and you see who you LIKE,
You will find out that the person will be a 'christian'becos God is directing you,
Ask yourself a question concerning your future life with that person you hav seen and liked,
If you experience calmness of the heart havin asked urself that question,
Please note that the calmness or disturbance in heart is a sure possible ways God speaks to even a baby christian,
Havin considered all the above to be on the positive side,go ahead and propose to the person.
Because you have been directed by God does not mean the person can not object to ur marriage proposal,
This is where you start to work to make her accept you but not as in the case of Courtship where you go into relationship to study,learn or for compatibility check.
If the would be life partner accepts you,inform your parents and she would do same then you guys can start to plan for marriager and not courtship but in a situation where she refuses to accept you,move on with life and apply same principle yuou will see you will get married easily.
I tell you my brother,the devil does not want us to get married hence courtship which most certainly leads to pre-marital sex and God's wrath towards us the chosen.
The coming of the lord will be like the days of Noah men will be getting married and giving out their daughters in marriage.The devil does not still like this one hence his strategic and devlish delays through courtship and others !
Remain blessed brothers.

ayobase:

My brother, I read ur post up there, and Im in support, but everything is not left in God's hands to handle...I have seen many ordained by God marriages failed.Why?....the couples wouldnt do the parts of theirs.
.
When u are giving pieces of advice....always consider the secular world also, and not only the .......
.
No, 3 months are even too much, unless if the involvees are not deceiving each other!

Thanks brother for agreein at least to an extent with my views but i tell you like you rightly said,we have our own part to play.The things i tell believers are quite different from what i tell un-believers.I chastise believers as well as encourage them.But for un-believers,it is different.See my comment below:

137. m.k.o2005: Quote Post
Zeebah23: Don't take dis personal please,which church do u attend? I asked coz i know most churches teach courtship and how 2 go about it. Are u telling me dat once u know 'd will of God' u just go ahead and get married? Courtship in d christian sense is d period between d time u know who 'd will of God' is and d time u get married.

Friend,i love your statement and questions.My church teach courtship but based on personal or life experiences likewise other churches.But i have started to make every one of us there see that for the fact that we teach it here does not make it biblical.
The christian courtship can't be the time you know who the will of God is and the time you get married cos you can't court in isolation.It happens between two people.And if it's the time to know who the will of God is you dnt have to have any one at hand becos it means you are the one choosing for him to inturn APPROVE who you have presented.
See the line below:
If you dnt know where you are going to,ask for God's direction
After you have been directed to ur would be life partner or to WHERE you will find her,and you see who you LIKE,
You will find out that the person will be a 'christian'becos God is directing you,
Ask yourself a question concerning your future life with that person you hav seen and liked,
If you experience calmness of the heart havin asked urself that question,
Please note that the calmness or disturbance in heart is a sure possible ways God speaks to even a baby christian,
Havin considered all the above to be on the positive side,go ahead and propose to the person.
Because you have been directed by God does not mean the person can not object to ur marriage proposal,
This is where you start to work to make her accept you but not as in the case of Courtship where you go into relationship to study,learn or for compatibility check.
If the would be life partner accepts you,inform your parents and she would do same then you guys can start to plan for marriager and not courtship but in a situation where she refuses to accept you,move on with life and apply same principle yuou will see you will get married easily.
I tell you my brother,the devil does not want us to get married hence courtship which most certainly leads to pre-marital sex and God's wrath towards us the chosen.
The coming of the lord will be like the days of Noah men will be getting married and giving out their daughters in marriage.The devil does not still like this one hence his strategic and devlish delays through courtship and others !
Remain blessed brothers.

m.k.o2005:


'Christians'court does not mean it is the right thing to do.Who are christians?Do you mean church goers or the ignorant christians ?We are saying it isn't proper.It is not right.It contradicts the word of God.It's for un-believers and ignorant christians.
I know this one is too heavy for some of us here but it's biblical.No one or church even the orthodox churches can show me where there is the mention of courtship in the bible or anything that resembles it.
Please friends,if you dnt wnat to be heart broken and used and dumped as a result of frequent pre-marital sex,abstain from courtship.But if you dnt care or give a hoof,continue with courtship.

Lemme give u my definition of 'christian courtship'. It's d period between d time both parties know dat dey r 'GOD'S WILL' 4 each oda and d time they get married. During this time,both parties get 2 know each oda better,dey know their backgrounds, parents,friends,jobs,goals e.t.c. It's NEVER a time for 'sampling,testing,examining' or any oda term dey use. There r instances wen d man discovers dat d 'will of God' is far away from him and wen dey eventually meet,dey must get 2 know each oda. Dis period is d Courtship!
Note: When i say christian,i'm not referring to every Tom,D*ck and Harry dat goes 2 church.

WAM?:
I totally agree with mko and goofie your missing his point. If you pray for direction from God and your certain that you have found the one why court?-aka studying the person and all. I also grew up with courting doctrines - I heard that day in day out and to be sincere with you it has no biblical backings and most denominations try to limit it to a year now.
When you pray and God shows you the one- you guys can spend time in preparing for your future together- be it through counseling or financial planning and so on. But if you are courting the person 'God' has already shown you to be the one - to see if they change- of what use is that?-even if they change that is Gods choice for you. Or are you doubting God's choice.
The key point here is seeking divine direction from above. We are so limited and no amount of studying would be enough. We have to let go and let God.

My brother,you likewise all who have been on this are blessed.God will help us to see all these so we dnt just swallow hook, line and sinker of all that our pastors,reverend,bishops and popes have been saying to us that aren't what God intends for us.Some times these 'men of God'tell us these things sometimes because of their selfish interest and some other times becos they JUST DNT WANT TO BE HARD ON US.-Bless you.

m.k.o2005:


Thanks brother for agreein at least to an extent with my views but i tell you like you rightly said,we have our own part to play.The things i tell believers are quite different from what i tell un-believers.I chastise believers as well as encourage them.But for un-believers,it is different.See my comment below:

Friend,i love your statement and questions.My church teach courtship but based on personal or life experiences likewise other churches.But i have started to make every one of us there see that for the fact that we teach it here does not make it biblical.
The christian courtship can't be the time you know who the will of God is and the time you get married cos you can't court in isolation.It happens between two people.And if it's the time to know who the will of God is you dnt have to have any one at hand becos it means you are the one choosing for him to inturn APPROVE who you have presented.
See the line below:
If you dnt know where you are going to,ask for God's direction
After you have been directed to ur would be life partner or to WHERE you will find her,and you see who you LIKE,
You will find out that the person will be a 'christian'becos God is directing you,
Ask yourself a question concerning your future life with that person you hav seen and liked,
If you experience calmness of the heart havin asked urself that question,
Please note that the calmness or disturbance in heart is a sure possible ways God speaks to even a baby christian,
Havin considered all the above to be on the positive side,go ahead and propose to the person.
Because you have been directed by God does not mean the person can not object to ur marriage proposal,
This is where you start to work to make her accept you but not as in the case of Courtship where you go into relationship to study,learn or for compatibility check.
If the would be life partner accepts you,inform your parents and she would do same then you guys can start to plan for marriager and not courtship but in a situation where she refuses to accept you,move on with life and apply same principle yuou will see you will get married easily.
I tell you my brother,the devil does not want us to get married hence courtship which most certainly leads to pre-marital sex and God's wrath towards us the chosen.
The coming of the lord will be like the days of Noah men will be getting married and giving out their daughters in marriage.The devil does not still like this one hence his strategic and devlish delays through courtship and others !
Remain blessed brothers.

i totally understand ur point. D thing here is,God has given u directions,u walked up 2 me & i prayed and later accepted ur proposal. R u gonna get married 2 me d following day? NO! We nid 2 sit & plan,won't we meet each odas family b4 getting married? This and stuffs lyk dat r things 2 b done during 'christian courtship'. God is not a magician,he has shown u d way,u work it out. Intimacy and sex is NOT ALLOWED.

ayobase:

My brother, I read ur post up there, and Im in support, but everything is not left in God's hands to handle...I have seen many ordained by God marriages failed.Why?....the couples wouldnt do the parts of theirs.
.
When u are giving pieces of advice....always consider the secular world also, and not only the .......

Well said!

Zeebah23: Lemme give u my definition of 'christian courtship'. It's d period between d time both parties know dat dey r 'GOD'S WILL' 4 each oda and d time they get married. During this time,both parties get 2 know each oda better,dey know their backgrounds, parents,friends,jobs,goals e.t.c. It's NEVER a time for 'sampling,testing,examining' or any oda term dey use. There r instances wen d man discovers dat d 'will of God' is far away from him and wen dey eventually meet,dey must get 2 know each oda. Dis period is d Courtship!
Note: When i say christian,i'm not referring to every Tom,D*ck and Harry dat goes 2 church.

For the fact that you left out sampling,testing,examining and the likes does not mean it is left out in courtship whether christian or non christian so far it is courtship.It's only our pastors try to brand it Christian dating,christian courtship and all other things they call it.See below after which i will rest my case:
Friend,i love your statement and questions.My church teach courtship but based on personal or life experiences likewise other churches.But i have started to make every one of us there see that for the fact that we teach it here does not make it biblical.
The christian courtship can't be the time you know who the will of God is and the time you get married cos you can't court in isolation.It happens between two people.And if it's the time to know who the will of God is you dnt have to have any one at hand becos it means you are the one choosing for him to inturn APPROVE who you have presented.
See the line below:
If you dnt know where you are going to,ask for God's direction
After you have been directed to ur would be life partner or to WHERE you will find her,and you see who you LIKE,
You will find out that the person will be a 'christian'becos God is directing you,
Ask yourself a question concerning your future life with that person you hav seen and liked,
If you experience calmness of the heart havin asked urself that question,
Please note that the calmness or disturbance in heart is a sure possible ways God speaks to even a baby christian,
Havin considered all the above to be on the positive side,go ahead and propose to the person.
Because you have been directed by God does not mean the person can not object to ur marriage proposal,
This is where you start to work to make her accept you but not as in the case of Courtship where you go into relationship to study,learn or for compatibility check.
If the would be life partner accepts you,inform your parents and she would do same then you guys can start to plan for marriager and not courtship but in a situation where she refuses to accept you,move on with life and apply same principle yuou will see you will get married easily.
I tell you my brother,the devil does not want us to get married hence courtship which most certainly leads to pre-marital sex and God's wrath towards us the chosen.
The coming of the lord will be like the days of Noah men will be getting married and giving out their daughters in marriage.The devil does not still like this one hence his strategic and devlish delays through courtship and others !
Remain blessed brothers.

goofie:

i get ur point. why plan for the future if God hs ordained it? why wld u need counselling too? marriages r made in heaven but the work hs to be done on earth.
let me assume tht u meet a woman and u plan ur wedding in the space of three months, wht do u do within those three months?do u see her at all?do u spend time 2geda?do u talk? or do u just wait 4 d wedding day and continue from der?

The big question is what is courtship?Do you court to plan ur marriage or you court to study,learn understand or for compatibility check? Ofcourse the later is what 'courtship' is.
When you plan ur wedding in the spate of three (3) months,if you have finished planning as in you have fixed ur date and all other things in place,you keep talking and waiting for the D day.Is that one courtship ?That's no courtship at all.
i REST MY CASE ON THIS ONE.I know it is dificult to accept something new even wen it's the right and biblical thing to do.

Zeebah23: i totally understand ur point. D thing here is,God has given u directions,u walked up 2 me & i prayed and later accepted ur proposal. R u gonna get married 2 me d following day? NO! We nid 2 sit & plan,won't we meet each odas family b4 getting married? This and stuffs lyk dat r things 2 b done during 'christian courtship'. God is not a magician,he has shown u d way,u work it out. Intimacy and sex is NOT ALLOWED.

Zeebah,i want to name my un-born baby Hephzeebah !
You got everything just perfect but if we continue to use the word courtship,it makes it the COURTSHIP and there is nothing like Christian courtship ! In fact the only place where courtship should be mentioned should be in marriage where we study our spouse,learn them very well,help them in areas where they are week,try to check how compatible we are in marriage life and other issues,try to adjust where and when necessary,try to LIVE with and accept things we can't change and not to walk away as is the case of pre-marital courtship.
You see i'm trying to bend the rules now just to accomodate the word courtship in marriage to sute you.
Courtship shouldn't be mentioned at all.
Shalom

WAM?:
I totally agree with mko and goofie your missing his point. If you pray for direction from God and your certain that you have found the one why court?-aka studying the person and all. I also grew up with courting doctrines - I heard that day in day out and to be sincere with you it has no biblical backings and most denominations try to limit it to a year now.
When you pray and God shows you the one- you guys can spend time in preparing for your future together- be it through counseling or financial planning and so on. But if you are courting the person 'God' has already shown you to be the one - to see if they change- of what use is that?-even if they change that is Gods choice for you. Or are you doubting God's choice.
The key point here is seeking divine direction from above. We are so limited and no amount of studying would be enough. We have to let go and let God.

You are on point my brother.Thanks a lot.

m.k.o2005:

Zeebah,i want to name my un-born baby Hephzeebah !

Actually d name is spelt Hephzibah. I changed d last part. Thanks,though.

m.k.o2005:

Zeebah,i want to name my un-born baby Hephzeebah !
You got everything just perfect but if we continue to use the word courtship,it makes it the COURTSHIP and there is nothing like Christian courtship ! In fact the only place where courtship should be mentioned should be in marriage where we study our spouse,learn them very well,help them in areas where they are week,try to check how compatible we are in marriage life and other issues,try to adjust where and when necessary,try to LIVE with and accept things we can't change and not to walk away as is the case of pre-marital courtship.
You see i'm trying to bend the rules now just to accomodate the word courtship in marriage to sute you.
Courtship shouldn't be mentioned at all.
Shalom

What should we call it if not ''courtship''....''getting to know better''?

Zeebah23: Actually d name is spelt Hephzibah. I changed d last part. Thanks,though.

I love that name....sweet, but few know about it!

m.k.o2005:


When God directs you to where to find your wife or to her as it were,you propose to her.If she accepts fine,if she doesn't accept,it behoves you to try to convince her not by courtship after all you never start courtship with some one who does not want to be in a relationship with you.By the time you convince her to accept you as a husband why the courtship to now see if she is suitable or compatible? What i'm saying is that you dnt need courtship.Period.All you need is to get her to accept you.And wen that happens,go ahead and marry.Your courtship thing i guess isn't to make her accept you but it's to see if you guys are compatible,if you guys can actually live together RIGHT ?You dnt need courtship at all.
What you need is to make her accept you after ur proposal and she still does not want you.If she never want's you as a husband,leave her and move on to another born again christian you like.Apply same principles and you will get married easily without un necessary devlish delays.

Why will God lead you to someone who says "No"?

rimax: u 4get tht women hv several character,they can show u some afta they enta they gv u wht u dnt xpect

True!
Some people are perfect pretenders.

obowunmi:

Why will God lead you to someone who says "No"?

My broda,i think we hav dwelt so long or over flogged this issue.But i tell you,no one knows everything in life not even King solomon the wisest man that ever lived yet he regretted at the end of the day.It goes to show that it's only GOD who knows all.
When God asked Moses to go ask Pharaoh to let HIS people go,did HE not know that Pharaoh will say no ? He was aware but what gave Moses victory over Pharaoh? Persistence !#
Even when she says no,can you continue to stay put to see if she eventually agrees in the long run ?But why stay put in something that is not yet marriage when God still has other beautiful daughters of HIS out there for you ? I dnt want to digress brother.I suggest we leave this discussion for some other time or thread !
Thanks and God bless !

m.k.o2005:

My broda,i think we hav dwelt so long or over flogged this issue.But i tell you,no one knows everything in life not even King solomon the wisest man that ever lived yet he regretted at the end of the day.It goes to show that it's only GOD who knows all.
When God asked Moses to go ask Pharaoh to let HIS people go,did HE not know that Pharaoh will say no ? He was aware but what gave Moses victory over Pharaoh? Persistence !#
Even when she says no,can you continue to stay put to see if she eventually agrees in the long run ?But why stay put in something that is not yet marriage when God still has other beautiful daughters of HIS out there for you ? I dnt want to digress brother.I suggest we leave this discussion for some other time or thread !
Thanks and God bless !

You didn't answer the question.

obowunmi:


You didn't answer the question.

He actually did- try reading his response again.

WAM?:


He actually did- try reading his response again.

Explain - I don't understand. His point is that "persistence" is key?

Long courtship is not advisable on the part of the ladies say for the period of a minimum of six months and a maximum of 1yr is enough for a child of God... How wil it lead to marriage after u had court the ship out to goat stage at old age after the maximum of 1yr?...

obowunmi:

Explain - I don't understand. His point is that "persistence" is key?

Your question was why would God lead you to someone who would say no. Mko answered by stating the fact that only God knows. In the case of Moses God knew Pharaoh would say no. Also God does not exercise authority over us he gives us a free will- so if a lady or guy you are led to says no you can choose to be persistent or you can be led to another.

WAM?:


Your question was why would God lead you to someone who would say no. Mko answered by stating the fact that only God knows. In the case of Moses God knew Pharaoh would say no. Also God does not exercise authority over us he gives us a free will- so if a lady or guy you are led to says no you can choose to be persistent or you can be led to another.

Can I be led to another beautiful woman after marriage or before? Because I would like to sample and be led to as many beautiful women if this is the case. Every bre,ast god created was good.

WAM?:


Your question was why would God lead you to someone who would say no. Mko answered by stating the fact that only God knows. In the case of Moses God knew Pharaoh would say no. Also God does not exercise authority over us he gives us a free will- so if a lady or guy you are led to says no you can choose to be persistent or you can be led to another.

Thanks for the explanation.If i was to reply,it would hav been same.Thank WAM !