This article is a sexist diatribe so men can point to “scientific” evidence on why they can marry a non-threatening woman who’s only life is catering to them. I don’t approve of women being stay at home consumers; millions of women have raised kids and worked outside the home. It’s only recently that there’s been this push to keep us tied to the stove. I appreciate a hardworking man but if he can’t handle me being a financial support to our family then he isn’t man enough for me. Go find your stay at home woman, who thinks driving to soccer games and spending your money is work. You deserve what you get.

carefreewannabe:

so beautiful, I just had to quote it again.

thanks

A HOUSE IS NOT A HOME, NO MATTER HOW MAGNIFICENT IT IS. That's what so called career nonentities don't know.

carefreewannabe:

I totally agree with you. It takes two to tango. And if a marriage fails, both parties failed in making it work.
I also agree that women who work have to focus on work in order not to lose it. I also agree that the world has changed and that women need to work and / or want to work.
The problem is the following: Once the women are willing to work and contribute to the families income, it does not necessarily mean that men will help to take care of the housework, the cooking and the children. This means that women often work twice as much as their husband because they work at home and outside. This is stressful. And of course dialogue is necessary to determine a way forward. But as most mamas raised their sons free of the duty to clean and cook, men will not easily adapt to the changing role of females. And it will take many many years for them to change even a little. And yes, therefore there will be many marriages ending in divorce.
'
Did you know that most divorces in the West are initiated by women? The same will happen in Nigeria. As womem will become more and more independent, they will not put up with everything and anything. They will divorce. Simply because they can. NOT ONLY because they are career women but because their counterparts are not and will not be able to adapt to changes fast enough.

My thoughts exactly. But its easier to blame the woman than realizing and implementing the need for a world wide societal value change. I wonder how the sons of so called career women turn out with respect to their ideas on how to relate with women?

Everyone is prone to divorce but making the right decisions and choices, especially before marriage will keep divorce far from you. If you decide to marry your job, your kids etc not your spouse, you are bound to end up divorce. It's a mindset. The value you place on your marriage/spouse will make or break it. If you leave because of career, it means the marriage was a sham.

I have lots and lots of female friends who married young, no career, stayed at home, had children... The main reason that they aren’t divorced? Because in every instance they cannot afford to leave the man. They aren’t happy – they simply are not in a financial situation because of no career prospects to leave. I currently only know two women who are happy in their marriages. Additionally, many of the married men I know run single career girl lady friends because in their 30′s and 40′s these are the women that (as a few of those men have put it) are the ones that I now aspire to having a successful career myself – but, and here’s the rub ….. They want that well educated, well presented career girl to give up and be the little stay at home second wife which simply doesn’t work.

afam4eva:
The opposite of career women is not village women.

You can trust a Nigerian to pick holes in a post.

I never said that was the opposite, rather, I was being sarcastic, get it?

Moreover, I used ‘champion’ as opposed to ‘woman’, ‘village’ to suggest a lack of education needed for a bright city career.

Just as men face their career future, women should do the same. If the outcome is divorce, then so be it!!

Children and husband come later. . . .esp when you have to deal with whinny village annoying pessimistic Nigerian male bushbaby.

I've always known that "career women" are more likely to cheat, and more likely to be full of bullshyyyte. If I talk am, dem go say I don come again. The examples are too numerous to recount.

That's why most sensible men care little about a woman's career or financial 'independence' when it comes to making a decision about marriage or long term unions. They consider her uxorial qualities primarily before anything else.

Mrs.Chima:


That's not what I said. Don't make up shit. I am financially sound and I AM STILL WITH MY HUSBAND.

Maybe his hand is behind ur success

Ileke-IdI:
Just as men face their career future, women should do the same. If the outcome is divorce, then so be it!!

Children and husband come later. . . .esp when you have to deal with whinny village annoying pessimistic Nigerian male bushbaby.

You've started

sadeiyare: One of the reason for this is because most Men are just too demanding, because they have this stone-age mentality about marriage.

stone-age mentality about marriage? Can you justify that assertion? Because we are now in "rock-age", Men should be the one that must be cater for children and do other houseworks while his Wife focus on her so called "career". If you goes to school, your primary assignment is to study and get good certificate. Any other things apart from that are not your obligation. Likewise in marriage, the primary assignment of an "average" woman is her HOME, any other things must not supersede her major reason for being married.

so because am a career woman my marriage should suffer? Dats not true, wanting to stay married is nt dependent on a woman's financial stability, its only dependent on how she views the marriage institution. Well, u need to go c so many non-career women divorced and messed up by their husbands leaving them to cater for 4-5 children. I love career women, they r so stable dat no man can cheat dem and say '' i know she is not going anywhere even if i bring another woman to the marital bed, she is nt going even if i beat her, she is nt going even if i drink my self to stupor and vomit all over d sitting room she is gonna clean it up cos she knows if she doesnt she and her children are nt gonna eat for d day ''

why do these women marry at all? Only to put their husbands and children through so much. Children eat refrigerated food monday thru saturday et al

If their life quest is career, why marry? to eat their eat and have it. They fear wat d society will think of them if they do not marry & hv kids but can't do wat it takes to maintain same family & kids.

A true successful woman should want to succeed in career and at home

sadeiyare: One of the reason for this is because most Men are just too demanding, because they have this stone-age mentality about marriage.

It was that stone age mentality that made marriages worked then. What do we have now. What you even have as good marriage now in carrier women is either the husband is compromising his staus as d husband because of lack of financial capabilities. That is why some carrier women find it very appropriate to marry guys that are below them financially or end up being second or third wife.

Marriage is overrated isnt it?

Men! we are having all these problems because women are new to financial independence and power and are just getting overexcited.

lat4real:


stone-age mentality about marriage? Can you justify that assertion? Because we are now in "rock-age", Men should be the one that must be cater for children and do other houseworks while his Wife focus on her so called "career". If you goes to school, your primary assignment is to study and get good certificate. Any other things apart from that are not your obligation. Likewise in marriage, the primary assignment of an "average" woman is her HOME, any other things must not supersede her major reason for being married.

and sir, where did you get that notion that d major reason a woman is married is take care of d home? wat is d major reason a man is married? or you don't know that how a man has dreams and ambitions is also how a woman have dreams and ambitions? it is not all women whose only ambition in life is to get married.

If Michelle Obama can do it...Forbes is lying.

Most U.S presidents have wives, with successful careers.

We all have a choice to decide our priorities in life. If your career overtakes love - that's YOUR CHOICE.

Ileke-IdI:
Just as men face their career future, women should do the same. If the outcome is divorce, then so be it!!

Children and husband come later. . . .esp when you have to deal with whinny village annoying pessimistic Nigerian male bushbaby.

Lest you forget...A wife and Children can come later too....especially when you have to deal with an Abusive,Bossy,grouchy,materialistic, uninteresting and self-declared ''ïntelligent'' Nigerian Ladies.

The rate at which most women heap blames on the men as if they are responsible for the failures of most marriages is unbelievable.For Christ sakes both married men and women cheat!! whether career minded or not,Making a marriage work has a lot to do with what both individuals stand for.I suppose most of you ladies feel as much as you are free to pursue your careers,the man that takes over all your responsibilities in the home on your behalf is your ideal kinda man
DAmn!!!!!
Bottom line is if a lady cannot strike a balance between her career and marriage,she doesnt have any business getting married in the first place and inasmuch as a man should be supportive of her wife's career goals,her responsibilities in the home does not become his just to satisfy her quest.

newtontoyo:

Lest you forget...A wife and Children can come later too....especially when you have to deal with the Bossy,grouchy,materialistic, uninteresting and self-declared ''ïntelligent'' Nigerian Ladies.

The rate at which most women heap blames on the men as if they are respondsible for the failures of most marriages is unbelievable.For Christ sakes both married men and women cheat!! whether career minded or not,Making a marriage work has a lot to do with what both individuals stand for.I suppose most of you ladies feel as much as you are free to pursue your careers,the man that takes over all your respondsibilities in the home on your behalf is your ideal kinda man
DAmn!!!!!
Bottom line is if a lady cannot strike a balance between her career and marriage,she doesnt have any business getting married in the first place and inasmuch as a man should be supportive of her wife's career goals,her respondsibilities in the home does not become his just to satisfy her quest.

and wat is d woman's responsiblities in the home that can't become the man's? is d man allegic to house chores? is it stated anywhere that house chores is for the wife only? wat is the man's responsibilities in the home?

bukatyne: and wat is d woman's responsiblities in the home that can't become the man's? is d man allegic to house chores? is it stated anywhere that house chores is for the wife only? wat is the man's responsibilities in the home?

ohhhh...so just because my wife has made her career a mini-god in her life,i have to wash the plates,clean the house,take the children to the school even cook for her every single day of my Life !!!!!!!

i dont have any problem with doing those things outlined above nor do i have a problem with men that do them.Infact,i do them once in a while But what i have a problem with is her making it my responsibility to do them just because her work is more important to her than the state of the home.In addition,do you think married couples who hardly spend quality time with each other due to their engagements with work are not creating problems for themselves and the kids ?

this thing called marriage self, its too demanding on women, i dont know why so many pple believe dt d success of it rests solely on women, why? What abt d roles of men in making marriage successful, haba, it takes two to tangle! Now, if u are a career woman, damn! If u are expecting every need to be supplied by d man, another problem from aother angle, haba, this is 21st century, let both man and woman rub everything together to make marriage work, not expecting women to be d major and only person to msake marriage work. Imagine women after going thru a lot in d office,and comes back home doing a lot of housechores on a daily basis while d man also comes backs from office and sit back in d livingroom watching tv and roaming d internet also on daily basis, isnt dt frustrating? Its high time we make our marriage work by being mutual in everthing that will make d marriage successful, so dt one partner will not feel too demanding. May God help us all.

The solution i have adopted are: I allow my wife pursue her carrier after all i also have to sacrifice in marriage(my wife and my children) because the financial plight of orphans and widows in our society is pathetic eventhough we all pray for long lives , i try my best to provide all that is within my responsibilities including those she can provide for self; i hardly collect any money from her savings, at extreme level, i borrow and return it accordingly , she is allowed to send money to her parents if i don't have. All these i have adopted so as to confidently control my house as the head. I am not ruling out divorce in the case of 'unreconcillable differences'(quote pastor Chris Okotie).

afam4eva:
The opposite of career women is not village women.

I wonder!

Let's see it this way, there's a higher rate of divorce amongst career women when compared to non-career women.

My take is that Career women are faced with the task of excelling at work and at home. For those who lack the capacity, the role strain is likely to lead to divorce.

bukatyne: and sir, where did you get that notion that d major reason a woman is married is take care of d home? wat is d major reason a man is married? or you don't know that how a man has dreams and ambitions is also how a woman have dreams and ambitions? it is not all women whose only ambition in life is to get married.

i didn't said you should kill your your ambitions because of marriage, but your ambition shouldn't be your priority at the expense of your home. Your home must come first while other things follow. I can't marry a liability as a wife but i can't also marry a lady that her career is all she care about. And as a typical yoruba man, i was brought up to believe that man "must" be the one that will be providing for the needs(financial) of the family( woman can help if needs be) while his wife should reciprocate by cater for the welfare of the family. Above all, understanding and Love is the key to any successful marriage, if you understand, tolerate and Love each other, career or no career you will have a happy HOME.

maclatunji: Let's see it this way, there's a higher rate of divorce amongst career women when compared to non-career women.

My take is that Career women are faced with the task of excelling at work and at home. For those who lack the capacity, the role strain is likely to lead to divorce.

correct! That is why divorce is so common among our celebrities because they can't handle the pressure of their career and home at the same time.

Mrs.Chima:


I AM FINANCIALLY STABLE AND STILL WITH MY HUSBAND. If I want to leave...I would have left YEARS AGO.

Are you on your period

YOUR STATEMENT SHOWS THAT THERE ARE POSSIBILITIES FOR YOU TO HAVE LEFT. PROBABLY IF YOU HAD LEFT, WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY ABOUT U?

PRESSURE FROM FAMILIES AND FRIENDS OR CHURCH?.

WELL, 90% OF WOMEN OF FAME HAD TERMINATED THEIR MARRIAGES.

A YORUBA ADAGE SAYS "A WOMAN WHO WANTS TO BE RICH AND FAMOUS WILL NEVER STAY IN A MARRIGE"

I WANT TO CONGRATULATE YOU FOR YOUR HUMILITY FOR SUSTAINING YOUR MARRIAGE. KEEP IT UP AND GOD WILL INCREASE U AND UR HUSBAND.

I luv career women...non nope

flanrey: [size=14pt]Career woman or no career woman, the woman i'll marry must not earn more than me.... Most ladies cannot be controlled when they are more wealthy than their spouse[/size]

then you better up your game

Lie...only dat dey tend 2 be more pragmatic and we men don't seem 2 lyk dat.