akumarism:
Firstly,I want to know, is this feeling of mine normal

and if not, kindly advise on next line of action.

jidegirl12: IMO it's rude really...... can't she speak Yoruba when her hubby is around?

Ofcourse he's gonna be insecure that moment , it's normal and it's not a shameful feeling ......this is a marriage..... It's not all about her anymore, she has to take somebody else's feelings into consideration too.

OP express your feelings and see if she's willing to make a change...... I'm for learning igbira too but she has to work with you on this.... It's partnership , not a solo project anymore.

babyosisi:

In a phone conversation with her own parents?

jidegirl12:


**waves** long time babyosisi ! Happy new year!

Yes ma'am provided her hubby is there ...... It's rude IMO ....

another reason why local dialects are banned in workplaces here, go elsewhere to take/make your calls..... it's just damn rude.

But it's nobody's call to tell OP it's not his business.... It's his home.

I have Yoruba/Igbo couple friends and even on the phone convo with bro we speak English .... if I see him elsewhere alone then we can go crazy with Yoruba Yoruba no problem.....

the first and last day I tried it.... I felt soo mean and self centred when we were lost in our dialect in his wife's presence.... but we learn everyday .

babyosisi:

Been back a little while
Aka baby mama
She is speaking with her parents though not chit chatting with friends
I don't think the husband should read any meanings to it

jidegirl12:

What!! you are a character !

I need those soup recipes you posted on food section Abeg want to do something different.

Topic; it's easy to presume the situation that way....... we all react to things differently ........ he's not happy with it..... they should meet in the middle and work it out rather than brush him off like a nag.... doesn't work that way....

babyosisi:

Hehehe
Baby mama is the alter ego
Now what was your old name

jidegirl12:

Me? I only use this handle for all posts .... Ehem, Well I have another one but its strictly for Auto section only..... You know jaman jaman runs ....wetin God pikin wan lie do?

Leave story Abeg .... the recipe ? I don ask like 4 times already

babyosisi:

OK
I was just wondering how you knew my handle.
It had not been active since 2008 or so

Vikin: You can overcome it by minding your own business.

She is not speaking to you, why do you want to understand her?

Siena: It's rude to speak in a language your spouse can't understand, more so when the wife and her family have a common language with her husband - English and Yoruba. It's just as rude as whispering in the company of others.

If she chooses to communicate with her family in Ebira, knowing fully well her husband doesn't understand, she's sidelining him, cutting him out. The whole idea of marriage is INTEGRATION. Not SEPARATION. And right now, she's doing her hardest to alienate her man.



Are you kidding me? When you speak within earshot of another, and the person can hear one side of the conversation, it becomes his / her business! If you wish to have a private conversation, then you simply excuse yourself, and go to another room. It's bad manners to speak in a language alien to present company, or whisper.

My wife grew up in Lagos, so speaks Yoruba fluently. But she would NOT disrespect me by conversing in Yoruba with anyone in my presence, that's out of order. I have never told her not to do so, I've never had to, because she knows it's not right.

This is one of the reasons at work, you speak in a common language amongst your colleagues - in this case, English.

Vikin:

She is speaking to her folks and not her friends. This is the language she grew up with. I am in the same situation, hubby speaks french and English, I speak English and basic french....now, his family speaks just french and my family speaks English and Igbo. When I communicate with my family on phone as long as we are not talking about him, I speak Igbo. That is the language we speak at home, it doesn't mean we can't use English, but he understands that I have a local dialect. Back to him, when he speaks with the family, he speaks french and so fluent that I don't even understand a word he says. Am I angry? No!

Do I want to change it, no!

The only thing am working on is learning the language better not only because I want to understand them when they speak fluently and crack jokes without having to explain to me with slow and steady manner( when everybody had finished laughing at joke) but also( more importantly) because of our future kids.

If he trust his wife, he should let her comfortable when chatting with her parents.

As for excusing herself, that I will even find annoying,

ileobatojo: She has been speaking this language with these family members for decades, the fact that they understand English and Yoruba doesn't mean it's the natural or most comfortable mode of conversation for them. There's nothing disrespectful about speaking to your family the same way you have done for over 20 something years whether within husband/wife's earshot or not. If she can't freely have conversations with her family in her own home, where can she? As for leaving to go have the convo, that's quite ridiculous. So, she's cooking and her mother calls she has to take the phone and speed off into another room to go and talk? In her own house?

So because II'm married, I have to tell all my parents, uncles, aunts, cousins, family friends, extended family members that call me to only speak English? Rubbish!

Siena:

No disrespect - why wouldn't English be a natural mode of conversation?? I don't get this - regardless of what our local languages may be, English is taught in all Nigerian schools, ahead of local dialects.
.

Siena:

When you say "her family," doesn't that include her husband? Who comes first? When a man and woman marry, their respective partners become their immediate families.

Siena:

And if you dismiss your husband's opinion as rubbish, it's going to be a rocky ride. You're telling him it's non-negotiable. And if you told him to his face his opinion doesn't count, and is rubbish, you couldn't disrespect him more, and you're inardvently giving your family and friends license to do the same.[/color]

Siena:

Let's say the OP's wife works in a US Corporate setting, in a shared office, and her parents call (yes, private calls aren't encouraged at work, but they do happen). Whould she respond in Ebira, and carry on a conversation that's alien to her colleagues, or excuse herself, and take her call out of earshot? If yes, why can't the same courtesy be extended to her husband, or does he matter less?