Hehehe! Chim o. I'm learning everyday. I just learned a new thing from this thread. This "marriage" no be beans o.

Thank you guys, keep it coming.

Siena: Vikin, there's little chance of forgetting how to speak your language, it's not like you won't ever speak it.

That's the problem! Where else will I speak the language if not for phone conversation with my folks and maybe traveling back home once in a while.

Not like the environment I find myself is helping.

I don't want to look like the lost sheep, I sill got property land to claim in my village

vivian chinaza: Hehehe! Chim o. I'm learning everyday. I just learned a new thing from this thread. This "marriage" no be beans o.

Thank you guys, keep it coming.

It's all good oh viv, there's nothing to be weary about .....

it's just damn Rude to speak your own dialect your partner doesn't understand in his presence.....

you might be lucky tho and your man wouldn't complain and comply with you but it's 95% chance he's just faking it to make you happy ....... Deception? that ain't marriage dear

jidegirl12:

It's all good oh viv, there's nothing to be weary about .....

it's just damn Rude to speak your own dialect your partner doesn't understand in his presence.....

you might be lucky tho and your man wouldn't complain and comply with you but it's 95% chance he's just faking it to make you happy ....... Deception? that ain't marriage dear

Yea, it never occurred to me. I just learned that now, and I'm glad I did.
My prospective hussy is from my tribe, so we speak same language, so I might not encounter this.

Honestly, whenever I visit this family section, my phobia for marriage comes back. I just finished reading ur posts on the "how long before one resumes se..x after giving birth" thread and it ain't funny at all. All those posts about tears and cuts?

Well, I'd rather stick to Romance section. Things seem easy there.

Awww viv, don't worry , they all just looked scary in prints.... as long as you have it in mind that its conditional ; both y'all have to make it work ..... you'd be laughing .... I'm no expert oh but it's working for me

As per that thread.... don't get scared .... everybody's different.... you don't necessarily have to go thru all that childbirth trauma ..... Kort K pulled out Mason right out from her vjj I almost fainted myself

jidegirl12: Awww viv, don't worry , they all just looked scary in prints.... as long as you have it in mind that its conditional ; both y'all have to make it work ..... you'd be laughing .... I'm no expert oh but it's working for me

As per that thread.... don't get scared .... everybody's different.... you don't necessarily have to go thru all that childbirth trauma ..... Kort K pulled out Mason right out from her vjj I almost fainted myself

It better be o else they might not find me in that 'institution' for a long time.

This selfishness is just so hard to let go! I have no idea how to let go.

How did u do it? You know the 'we' instead of 'I?'

The 'we' syndrome? You necessarily don't have to say it if you're not comfortable with it..... I don't most times , but that doesn't mean he's not part of it....we react to stuff differently right?

Selfishness ? Read more relationship books , they help too ...soo many simple things in marriage that we just don't take seriously and aggravates path to rock bottom I tell ya,

It is well sis..... I wish you all the best in life.

jidegirl12: The 'we' syndrome? You necessarily don't have to say it if you're not comfortable with it..... I don't most times , but that doesn't mean he's not part of it....we react to stuff differently right?

Selfishness ? Read more relationship books , they help too ...soo many simple things in marriage that we just don't take seriously and aggravates path to rock bottom I tell ya,

It is well sis..... I wish you all the best in life.

Yea, thank you. Still trying to wrap my head around things, and start making a permanent room for someone else. I try to read books too. If God wills it, He will make it happen.

Thank you.

ileobatojo:

Exactly Vikin.

I don't understand why my husband should need to understand everything I'm saying if within earshot. On the phone for that matter when he's not part of the conversation?

She has been speaking this language with these family members for decades, the fact that they understand English and Yoruba doesn't mean it's the natural or most comfortable mode of conversation for them. There's nothing disrespectful about speaking to your family the same way you have done for over 20 something years whether within husband/wife's earshot or not. If she can't freely have conversations with her family in her own home, where can she? As for leaving to go have the convo, that's quite ridiculous. So, she's cooking and her mother calls she has to take the phone and speed off into another room to go and talk? In her own house?

So because I'm married, I have to tell all my parents, uncles, aunts, cousins, family friends, extended family members that call me to only speak English? Rubbish!

Thank you
My husband and I are from different areas of Igboland and when I speak with my parents I speak my interior interior dialect
Of course both my parents are well educated and can speak English and central Igbo
It will be petty for my husband to insist we speak in central Igbo
May not be the same here with the poster but it is similar
I find it insulting that a husband will make such demands on the wife regarding phone calls to her own parents who obviously feel more comfortable speaking their own language rather than a learned Yoruba or English
So what do people suggest,that the woman tell her parents
" papa and mama from now on when you call please speak in Yoruba so I can answer you in Yoruba because my husband wants to understand what we are saying"
That would be a foolish request.

The woman is faultless here,the constant that needs change is her husband
I am sure she has cousins and friends that may call and the conversation will be in Igbirra,he is making an unreasonable demand.
How about the relatives that don't speak Yoruba,she should stop talking to them or what?
Nonsense

greatgod2012: @ jidegirl.......
I disagree totally with you on this, its a phone conversation with her peeps for goodness sake, she has to prove to them that, she has not forgotten their language. If d couple are really in love with each other, she will definately tell her hubby what she was discussing with her pple, if its what she can tell him, no need for insecurity. Marriage should not rob one of his/her identity.
I, for example, anytime my mum or any of my siblings is around, its my dialect i speak with them, and he never felt bad about it, even though, me and hubby are from d same tribe, but he doesnt understand d language......jokingly he ask me or even my mum, what we are discussing and we tell him, there shouldnt be need to feel insecure if true love and trust is intact in their relationship.
May God help us all.

Thank you
I believe it is not an easy decision for a parent to give their daughter to a man from another tribe
Most parents I assume will prefer their daughter married from their same LGA .
Then they marry her off from Igbirraland to Yorubaland and their son inlaw now wants her to stop speaking her native language too?
O di kwa egwu

dayokanu: When you call your own family what Language do you speak French?

Can you imagine.

akumarism: I 'm a Yoruba man married to an ebira lady, our marriage has being blessed with a kid. In recent times, I discovered that she prefers communicating on phone with her family member in her local language when these people can speak and understand yoruba and english language well and knownfully well that I don't understand ebira. Each time this happens, I always feel insecured and I've sat her down and discuss this with her on several occassions but she refuse to change. Firstly,I want to know, is this feeling of mine normal and if not, kindly advise on next line of action. Thank you.

IS IT A CRIME IF YOU LEARN TO SPEAK AND UNDERSTAND EBIRA?

I can't believe what i'm reading on this thread. So, a lady should forego speaking her language with her own parents because her amebo husband cannot understand what she's saying? If she switched to Yoruba will that marriage still count as inter-tribal?

Since the OP wants to make it big in the Amebo industry then he should go learn her language just for the love he has for her. Nonsense.

OP learn the language. It's as simple as that.

Simple! Out of the two languages,chose one & make it the subject of the formula. Pinish!

Truly na man feel insecure pass all you need is to be prayerful and be watchful since you don't know what you are into.



















@Caseless,I believe Op ignore one of the principles of love.
Anyone that ignore the principles of love will surely get hurt.

Siena:

[color=#000099]No disrespect - why wouldn't English be a natural mode of conversation?? I don't get this - regardless of what our local languages may be, English is taught in all Nigerian schools, ahead of local dialects.

Even though i won't say i'm very good at speaking Igbo but the day i speak English to my mother, she will slap the living day light out of my face. So, if the lady decides to speak English or Yoruba to her family, what about her village people? I guess she will get english tutors for them too because her husband is an insecure ammebo. Infact that man should be arrested for false alarm.

every marriage has comma...ure a lucky man that ur comma is language issue and now u are opening thread to complain

She & her parents may understand yoruba,but still prefer to communicate in their own local patois which is ebira.Why would this bother you,when you can always ask her what they discussed if you two are friends.

It is very sad that a lot of pple go into marriage without the requisite maturity couples should have attained. @ poster, so just because u have married a wife,her owm parents and maybe the entire ebira community should abandon their language? Very self centered and selfish man! Why don't you learn ebira? I am Ninzo married to a mature yoruba man. He is learning my language as I am learning his. Marriage is a UNION. No more my language but our language(s). Pls.grow up and stop fishing for issues.

Is Nairaland still own by Oluwaseun Osewa?
somebody help me!

Yoruba and ebira! What a combination. Fire on the mountain...bros sori ooooo

afam4eva:
Even though i won't say i'm very good at speaking Igbo but the day i speak English to my mother, she will slap the living day light out of my face. So, if the lady decides to speak English or Yoruba to her family, what about her village people? I guess she will get english tutors for them too because her husband is an insecure ammebo. Infact that man should be arrested for false alarm.

Lol! Exactly!

This is not a problem at all...unless you have other marital issues. People generally speak to certain people in their native language out of habit. It would be odd to the other party if the language were to suddenly change. My advice is to stop making this an issue. Or are you a control freak?

From the responses ON here it is apparent why simple things are very difficult to achieve in Nigeria. Basic simple conversational etiquette issue and you see a lot of dim-witted responses! When one lacks the basic understanding of the issue or subject of discussion, you get a lot of charlatans giving nonsensical opinions and views! @ SIENA, you have made your point, any further attempt to convince ignoramuses on here otherwise will prove futile.

I do not know if all these stories are make-belief. Everyday on nairaland it is always one yoruba saying he married Ebira, Igbo etc. It is hardly the other way round. Does it mean that marriageable yoruba ladies have reduced so drastically in Nigeria?.
Anyway, if you marry anyone other than your ethnicity, be prepared to learn his/her language as well as tolerate their kins speaking the language.

Andre Uweh:
Anyway, if you marry anyone other than your ethnicity, be prepared to learn his/her language as well as tolerate their kins speaking the language.

You see, that's the problem with some people. They can't be tolerant of their spouse. She has to give up everything she has and knows just because she married outside her tribe. It's people like the OP that are giving inter-tribal marraige a bad name.

omiobo:












@Caseless,I believe Op ignore one of the principles of love.
Anyone that ignore the principles of love will surely get hurt.

i think u have to give me that principle to avoin being hurt.

olas2u: learn the language,2hrs every day.some Nigerians are married to even Chinese and they go on well

oboi, ibira language hard die..

U must strain ur face/eye before u speak it...so how u wan make learner do am, strain his eyes too? Sms

Hire a translator..................................dn u have bccom a job creator

@Op
Before you got married to her, she belonged to a tribe, after marriage she still belongs to a tribe, that's her identity, u were aware of this before marriage, inter-tribal marriage is very tough, but with the way u are going, u are making it tougher for both of you.

My parents are very strict with me and my siblings on our choice of language when communicating with them, if it's not Ibo, they would not listen, some parents are like that, don't make the family construe your intentions, they might think u want to severe the relationship between them and their daughter.

Its not hard, like others have said, learn the language, she should not feel like she's in bondage cos she's married to someone from another tribe.

caseless: i think u have to give me that principle to avoin being hurt.

consultancy fee
Brb