@ oluomok,

that was a fantastic poem

Don't commit when you are not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.

Go on that trip.
Don't postpone it.

Say those words.
Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.

Write poetry.
Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.

Take care of yourself.
Don't wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except YOU

that part really touched me.
as for the issue at hand, poster's friend shoul dknow her guy better than that, and i bliv there are more issues surrounding it than the poster is letting on, and it sure sounds like he's been under undue pressure (maybe from his mum or even the poster, who knows)

two wrongs dont make a right, and it takes one to make things go right, since ur bobo is tactless, u got to be more tactful. , chikena, end of discussion

Seun:

The manner of proposal is the least of your friend's problems. 
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Even if he now says he's sorry about the way he proposed, [size=14pt]the underlying thought is a big problem[/size].

That's key! I'd say, it's an orientation. She might never be able to change that.
And then, if after 4yrs she's not sure he values her such that she could naturally ignore his choice of words, then that's pathetic.
I should think theirs is a secular world. So, make I hol' brake 4 here

I hear many many people condemning the young man for proposing the way he did,
people must understand that every body doesnt reason the same way, the poster said they have been through thick and thin, what does that mean, what if this girl is one of them ladies who mistreat their boy friends and due to the love the boy have for her, he couldnt just let go, we must think here because if the relationship has been so rossy , the boy might not have put it that way, the lady must search her self and see what she has been doing wrong all through the thick and thin,
what i am trying to say here is that if my girlfriend is one of them wicked kinds, my proposal if i even decide to marry her would be less romantic ,

pls let me laugh

he will show her pepe later

[size=13pt]@ EFOSA VAL
Where did you get that picture from? That one is more than pepper.[/size]

buahahahahahhahhaha
trust me ,he would

EFOSA VAL:

he will show her pepe later

The Proposal is really kind of arrogant of the guy.

I can't stop laughing! God ! you've got all sorts of people in this world. on a serious note, like some of you said, the proposal is just a tip of the iceberg. the man's thinking ain't just right.

EFOSA VAL:

he will show her pepe later

                                      but well if she is smart
                                        then she will prepaer
                                      ewhahahahhahahhhahhah !

"i have finally decided to marry you", is he doing her a favour?! what sort of tactless thing is that?, but she might have just asked him to re-propose, it would have been softer, but mehn, if somebody proposes to me like that? ah ah, its a sign now, that youre no good, even this kind of huge event, he cant take the time out to make it special? so something creative? even if he has never been in his life,

Good luck to him, at this rate he'll never get anyone to accept him YEYE!

The guy needs thorough teaching in Making Romantic Proposal 101. The dude no try at all. What did he tink that she was on the shelf waititng till he decided he needed her afterall. Mayb he doesnt appreciate her stay with him, that why he came out with sumthing so poor.

All the same, aisha your friend should tell the guy her feelings about the proposal and tell him to concort sumtin better. If he wants to marry her, she shudnt let him go ooo!girls boku for ground wey never marry. so make she hold on 2 am tite oo

he actually thinks he is doin d girl a favour.tell him to take a jump out of ur life

lawyer:
Some people are just natural born clowns. Just because a guy said "I have finally decided to marry you", the poster took offence to that and told him to shove his proposal up his ass! How ludicrious can some people be. Anyway, i don't blame her. Too much romantic movies have probably influenced her way of life and thinking. Most women just think that a man should just marry them because they have dated for donkey years.

She doesnt even want to know what went through his mind at that moment for him to come to that kind of decision after a long while. Marriage no be beans and he must have heldher in a very high esteem to plan his future with her and get things done properly.

For one she didnt even consider the following before she told him to shove it:

1. His countless female admirers and boyfriend snatchers that he had decided to let go of in favour of the poster

2. Solving the parental problems associated with marriage and culture in favour of the poster

3. Ignoring the advice that some of his randy friends would have given him so as to pursue more girls in favour of poster

4. Deciding to be finally responsible and plan to have children with her and letting go of his wayward ways

5. Planning his financial future that would adequately cater for her

6. Planning towards the wedding which might turn out to be a big hole in his pocket but he is willing to do it for her because he loves her.

And because he proposed in a casual manner, she decided to tell him to shove it because he didnt say it the way "Ramsey Noah would say it to Stephanie Okereke" in one of those nollywood home videos.

Rubbish! If i was the guy, i would take her advice very seriously and move on and probably look for another girl because, from that little statement she made, the marriage would definately head for the rocks because it is so obvious she is a narcassistic, obsessive, demanding and compulsively hormone raged perfectionist. Its either her way or the Highway and he is better off with someone less endowned with such traits.

If he held her in high esteem, he would have taken out time to study the kind of things that make her tick. He would also have taken out time to find out what kind of things would turn her off, and would try to avoid doing those things deliberately.

His choice of words makes it look as if she has been begging him to propose to her, or as if he feels he is doing her a favour by finally popping the question, or as if he has shopped round, checking out other girls, hoping to find one better than her,  but couldn't suceed, and has now finally chosen to manage her (the girl) the way she is.

How would you feel if you propose to a woman, and she turns round to say "I have finally decided to marry you?" 

What if you pop the same question to another girl, and instead of giving that dumb answer above, she squeals, jumps into your arms and shouts "YES!! YES!! YESS!! I would love to be your wife!"  

Now which of these two responses, would you prefer?

By the way, if he feels he was losing out on his countless female admirers, by proposing to her. . . . .what makes him feel that she too doesn't have countless male admirers checking her out from afar?? Or he doesn't think that she too would not have countless male admirers? 

And if the advice of his randy friends meant so much, maybe he should plot the graph of his life based on the advice of his randy friends. When the blind follow the blind, they both end up in a ditch. So the advice of those randy friends are the gospel truth, abi? Wonders shall never end. It just tells me that any guy who takes the advice of his randy friends seriously, does not have a mind of his own! Period. Neither does he know the direction in which his own life is headed. That is why he would be considering the advice of his randy friends, or placing a premium on the fact that such advice may account for something.

As for letting go of his wayward ways, ah. . . . .that one is so pathetic. So being wayward in the first place, is a thing of pride, abi?

Finally this one takes the cake: "planning towards the wedding which might turn out to be a big hole in his pocket but he is willing to do it for her because he loves her." Before, nko? Is it too much of an effort on his part to plan towards the wedding? If he doesn't plan towards the wedding, who would do the planning for him. . . .his maiguard or the priest conducting the ceremony? 

Na wa, oh!

hello frend,
i am nu to this 1da4ull nigerian forum.My name is Kenneth Mbah.i really don't blame the guy,you know,he is really familiar with his babe and the only way he tought of propossing was to do that,and being the fact that ladies would love to have alot od guys to be on their kneels to proposse before they think the guy is an angel.What if,he pretended to get you and after that what comes next.I myself,am a comedian and don't think i would be on my kneels telling ma girl to marry,what am gonna say is honey,will you marry me, true or yes, simple.

Thanx,and hope to hear from you guys,
Kenneth.

The girl is a bush and very imature, she should have said that is not tdo do it and give him an assignment on how to propose to her, the guy would have gone back do some homework and i bet u next time the guy will be appreciated better and the guy will inturn respect her as a woman with virtue, abi no be soo, you ladies should try and think before u act most time,

abeg shun that thing, i have to say it, my guy no try @ all, he doesn't need to go to extreme lenghts for a proposal but seriously if any guy proposed to me that way, i wont find it funny one bit, i'm not so into all those romantic mushy mushy stuff and i dont want anyone assemblig heaven and earth for me, but proposing in such an UNNICE and BLAND way is unacceptable. enough to get anyone pissed, dem force you to marry? no be by force abeg, guess its true what they say, familiarity brings contempt, tufiakwa

lol, I thought this thread had been laid to rest already. It s possible that the guy meant well and was sincere in his heart but the expression came out garbled. Four years together was a long time. In that time she would have known his ways and be intimately familiar with his manners of verbal expressions. For her to cut him off like that suggests that wasn't his normal way of expressions and she sensed arrogance or, there are other issues and her resentment was finally triggered with his offending proposal.

They Got married on Saturday.

The guy has style oh!
From the look of things he seems to be in charge, or how do you explain the military tone he used.
I recall proposing to a lady at a bus stop close to Mushin in those days when i easily got emotional.
The end justifies it all jare!
No be to marry matter?
How you ask or where isn't neccesary.

she was very rude why her response. she should have been more polite and thought him how to say such things. She should remember that they have different backgrounds and people find it very difficult to communicate if not well informed

The guys probs is pride

Women should try proposing. It is not easy.

Sorry, a learner here is asking, Is it the place and timing of the guy that's wrong or the statement "finally decided to marry you?" To be right and socially acceptable, should he decide to marry at all or he should just say will you marry me or i want to marry you or something else as "romantic" as hollywood, nollywood and bollywood taught us? Above all, if the guy has truly decided before that lunch date to marry her and only used that avenue to voice it out to her, should fiction and fantasy style that hollywood taught us be the yardstick for assessing him or rather coming to reality by the lady in finding out if truly this guy loves means it and is sincere about it? If he is sincere and honest by the lady's observation of having gone thru thick and thin together in years, I think she should come out of Romeo-Juliet principle of love communication and accept that the guy isn't contemporarily sociable in passing his heartfelt message. Then she will decide whether she wants to accept offer from non-fashionable sincere lover or prefers a well-groomed and up to date toaster (who may also be a playboy). I submit!

She marries that kind of guy and believe me she'll end up not enjoying her life or worse still start wif adultery

my proposing guy is just too arogant and an egomaniac. i guess it would have been better acted out if he had gone ahead with printing of the wedding IV cards and had told her at d lunch, ' by the way i've decided to put your name as the bride to be in my wedding IV card'.
Mchew!!!
this one na notice of impending marriage not proposal

Sorry, a learner here is asking, Is it the place and timing of the guy that's wrong or the statement "finally decided to marry you?" To be right and socially acceptable, should he decide to marry at all or he should just say will you marry me or i want to marry you or something else as "romantic" as hollywood, nollywood and bollywood taught us? Above all, if the guy has truly decided before that lunch date to marry her and only used that avenue to voice it out to her, should fiction and fantasy style that hollywood taught us be the yardstick for assessing him or rather coming to reality by the lady in finding out if truly this guy loves means it and is sincere about it? If he is sincere and honest by the lady's observation of having gone thru thick and thin together in years, I think she should come out of Romeo-Juliet principle of love communication and accept that the guy isn't contemporarily sociable in passing his heartfelt message. Then she will decide whether she wants to accept offer from non-fashionable sincere lover or prefers a well-groomed and up to date toaster (who may also be a playboy). I submit!




marriage is supposed 2 be a mutuall agreement not a unilateral decision like one party is helping the other. there must be that statement of will from both parties showing that they've critically appraised eachothers performance

Well well in my own opinion d guy mit b scared or lacked communication tactis n on d part of d gal she would hav corrected him nicely bt i would nt blame her because he must hav hurt her feelin n trust bt seriusly it was a poor 1 4rm d guy...

What the girl did was not wrong cause most wedding proposals come with a polite question;Will you marry me? Though the proposal sounded impolite i can't blame the guy let's just say that he was reluctant at first but later decided to marry her.