StateOfMind:
Coogar's analogy is totally out of place here. This father's concern isn't out of greed, I believe he only wants to make sure the daughter he raised for years isn't falling into wrong hands. It doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't trust his daughter's judgement, all he wants is to see for himself, and if that's a criterion to marrying his daughter, then so be it.

so a mother in law conducting virginity test/fertility test is doing it out of greed? father in law wants to know if the groom is financially buoyant enough to marry his daughter. mother in law wants to be sure the bride can even conceive or has led a responsible life. i think the 2 situations sync perfectly. let each side conduct as many relevant tests as possible. welcome to the new world!

And btw, infertility isn't just a female thing anymore, if you think a mother-inlaw should run several fertility test on her daughter-in-law to be, then she should be ready to do the same for her son too..no be by length or width!

by the same token, financial test is not just a male thing too.......we live in a world of sex equality now. what's good for the goose should suit the gander as well. by all means, the 2 parties should conduct as many tests as possible. eye test, ear test, body odour test, snore test, kitchen skill test, general hygiene test, etc.

yuzedo:
Yo! You have been writing text-books and epistles that nobody reads and nobody gives a f(u)ck about.. Who hurt you bro? Do you have esteem issues? Life isn't that serious son. CHILL THE F(U)CK OUT and catch a laugh!

As a fuckard you are ,that is why you commented on what you didn't read then means that your parents are involved in this greedy attitudes. Your slow poke parents are the species of evil.Son of a dirty stinking animal. Who is your bro? i don't take animals as brothers/sisters. Get lost and Bleep yourself.

coogar:

so a mother in law conducting virginity test/fertility test is doing it out of greed? father in law wants to know if the groom is financially buoyant enough to marry his daughter. mother in law wants to be sure the bride can even conceive or has led a responsible life. i think the 2 situations sync perfectly. let each side conduct as many relevant tests as possible. welcome to the new world!



by the same token, financial test is not just a male thing too.......we live in a world of sex equality now. what's good for the goose should suit the gander as well. by all means, the 2 parties should conduct as many tests as possible. eye test, ear test, body odour test, snore test, kitchen skill test, general hygiene test, etc.

aaahhhh Wahala wa oooo. for real?

the man just asked for office address and ur cousin wants to kill himself, if he then asks for ancestral home wetin ur cousin go con do?

this man is even linnet, if it was my dad, hmmm, u might even get a call from ur parents that my dad went to d village to see dem to check if u are actually their child.
even with ordinary girl friends, my dad will do background check then its husband?
this actually reminds me of back den when i was still a student, i came back from school one day just to see my dad sitting in front of my house chatting seriously with my landlord and my neighbors, d man no even call me tell me say e dey come, all i told him was that i moved, gave him d new address and viola! he was there.

dannysteve99@ya:
Men stop that,are u telling me that the girl is under 18 years or what? am an Ibo boy and i hv 4 sisters 3 is married and we don,t do that in our Family.Am the only boy and an yet to marry but if i wish to and i come and across this condition,then the father hv to marry her Daughter himself.

I hate the English language. It could be unnecessarily difficult.

fubbyy: I disagree and detest the man's attitude to the highest order, what if he visits, finds out that the guy is real then gave his daughter out and 2morrow something happened and the guy became poor, what will he do?

He acted as if he's selling his daughter which we don't do in igbo land

The daughter should be the one doing the findings not the man

The issue is not about how rich or poor the suitor is but how real his claims are. When you get your own children, marry them off to strangers or people with doubtful claims. Maybe the guy has made some out of the world claims that aroused the man's curiosity. Nigeria of nowadays is not the Nigeria our parents grew up in.Things have changed. The man did not fix a price tag on the daughter, at least the poster didn't say so. He just wanted to prove that their claim was real. Any well trained young man would know that such a man can be thorough in dealing with issues and would be happy if the girl possessed such attribute. Unless your friend has a skeleton in the cupboard, he should grant the man's wish or keep off.

coogar:

so a mother in law conducting virginity test/fertility test is doing it out of greed? father in law wants to know if the groom is financially buoyant enough to marry his daughter. mother in law wants to be sure the bride can even conceive or has led a responsible life. i think the 2 situations sync perfectly. let each side conduct as many relevant tests as possible. welcome to the new world!



by the same token, financial test is not just a male thing too.......we live in a world of sex equality now. what's good for the goose should suit the gander as well. by all means, the 2 parties should conduct as many tests as possible. eye test, ear test, body odour test, snore test, kitchen skill test, general hygiene test, etc.

Lol at different tests!!

Anyway, Like I said earlier, I do not think the father is doing it out of greed, I think he just wants to be sure his son-inlaw to be is as real as he presents himself. He must have his reasons for doubting him and in the first place and if re-assurance is all that's required, I see no big deal in it.

And no, conducting fertility test isn't out of greed either, its just taking things too far...they are two different things joo.

COOLDUN:

As a fuckard you are ,that is why you commented on what you didn't read then means that your parents are involved in this greedy attitudes. Your slow poke parents are the species of evil.Son of a dirty stinking animal. Who is your bro? i don't take animals as brothers/sisters. Get lost and Bleep yourself.

Sigh! Get well soon.......

The man is right. Your friend could be an armed robber or any fraudster and now pretend to own an office and working only for the lady to fall into that and tomorrow wahala. He is absolutely right. If your guy is clean, let him allow the man to know who he claim to be.

There is a likely case like this and not fully relationship.A friend of mine has his house for rent and a guy came and told my friend that he works with a Local Government in Shomolu LGC and he was even dressed fine and look real.He gave out his house and after a while he noticed that the guy was not going to any office and he told him he was on vacation and will soon resume. After 2 months he did not resume he kept bringing in different kinds of people to the house and later my guy discovered that he is a Local 419 and now has asked him to vacate the apartment and that he will give him a full refund.
Had he listened to my earlier instruction to always cross-check any of his tenants by doing an underground investigation, he wouldn't have entered into this mess.
So, what the man is doing is right. As your guy is not comfortable with his plans, then your guy must have a questionable character since he said he wants to call off the relationship.

StateOfMind:

Lol at different tests!!

Anyway, Like I said earlier, I do not think the father is doing it out of greed, I think he just wants to be sure his son-inlaw to be is as real as he presents himself. He must have his reasons for doubting him and in the first place and if re-assurance is all that's required, I see no big deal in it.

mother in law does not want to be fleeced too. she wants to be sure her son is marrying a very decent lady with virtually no sexual history as most religious houses require these days. all those peruvian weaves, acrylic nails and incredibly huge butts are reasons for a mother in law to doubt any woman these days so she needs reassurance!

And no, conducting fertility test isn't out of greed either, its just taking things too far...they are two different things joo.

and you don't think visiting the office of a son-in-law is not taking things too far?

how about meat sellers in nairaland posing as something else. Nigerian men lie like no other ..papa sharpen ur eyes and investigate well

why wunt d popc do underground research of d guys working place et al.dan goin der himself..
the society has changed....
but what if d guy loses his job after 1 yr....will d popc still come to confirm he has bin sacked

yuzedo:
Sigh! Get well soon.......

I now know your age, i have been wasting my precious time since with a kindergarten pupil.Go ahead and suckle your feeding bottle.If i ever reply you again then know that you are better than the mad man dancing at the market square in your village.

Have you seen guys that pose as lecturers all the way from the U.S but eventually turn out as cab drivers? Well,I have and I know what the lady has gone through raising her three children. Now the retard claims he brought her to the U.S and she should pay him.
There are so many dubious men looking for a well schooled lady with potentials. They come with their shine shine suit and KingQueens' accent trying to pull their stunts.

Even landlords nowadays don't accept any Tom,Dick and Jonathan into their houses these days.

I commend the paale.

BE811APP: why wunt d popc do underground research of d guys working place et al.dan goin der himself..
the society has changed....
but what if d guy loses his job after 1 yr....will d popc still come to confirm he has bin sacked

The paale just wants to confirm if the man is a responsible and hardworking man. I will try and dig up a thread here about a guy that claimed to be working in the Oil $ Gas sector in Port Harcourt and how the lady was scammed into marriage.

So many wolves in sheep's clothing these days.

andyanders: The man is right. Your friend could be an armed robber or any fraudster and now pretend to own an office and working only for the lady to fall into that and tomorrow wahala. He is absolutely right. If your guy is clean, let him allow the man to know who he claim to be.

There is a likely case like this and not fully relationship.A friend of mine has his house for rent and a guy came and told my friend that he works with a Local Government in Shomolu LGC and he was even dressed fine and look real.He gave out his house and after a while he noticed that the guy was not going to any office and he told him he was on vacation and will soon resume. After 2 months he did not resume he kept bringing in different kinds of people to the house and later my guy discovered that he is a Local 419 and now has asked him to vacate the apartment and that he will give him a full refund.
Had he listened to my earlier instruction to always cross-check any of his tenants by doing an underground investigation, he wouldn't have entered into this mess.
So, what the man is doing is right. As your guy is not comfortable with his plans, then your guy must have a questionable character since he said he wants to call off the relationship.

Please i am not in support of crime or criminals in any way, but can i ask these few questions:1: Who are the fraudsters in Nigeria? 2: Who are the criminals in Nigeria? 3: How do we know the fraudsters in Nigeria of today? 4: Who is not a fraudster/criminal in Nigeria of today? just a question. Bashing will get bashing for sure, i am very prepared for any response.

andyanders: The man is right. Your friend could be an armed robber or any fraudster and now pretend to own an office and working only for the lady to fall into that and tomorrow wahala. He is absolutely right. If your guy is clean, let him allow the man to know who he claim to be.

There is a likely case like this and not fully relationship.A friend of mine has his house for rent and a guy came and told my friend that he works with a Local Government in Shomolu LGC and he was even dressed fine and look real.He gave out his house and after a while he noticed that the guy was not going to any office and he told him he was on vacation and will soon resume. After 2 months he did not resume he kept bringing in different kinds of people to the house and later my guy discovered that he is a Local 419 and now has asked him to vacate the apartment and that he will give him a full refund.
Had he listened to my earlier instruction to always cross-check any of his tenants by doing an underground investigation, he wouldn't have entered into this mess.
So, what the man is doing is right. As your guy is not comfortable with his plans, then your guy must have a questionable character since he said he wants to call off the relationship.

Please i am not in support of crime or criminals in any way, but can i ask these few questions:1: Who are the fraudsters in Nigeria? 2: Who are the criminals in Nigeria? 3: How do we know the fraudsters in Nigeria of today? 4: Who is not a fraudster/criminal in Nigeria of today? just a question. Bashing will get bashing for sure, i am very prepared for any response.

God shud nt bring such family my way. D dad is looking for someone to milk, if not he shud hv investigated d guy secretly

coogar:

so a mother in law conducting virginity test/fertility test is doing it out of greed? father in law wants to know if the groom is financially buoyant enough to marry his daughter. mother in law wants to be sure the bride can even conceive or has led a responsible life. i think the 2 situations sync perfectly. let each side conduct as many relevant tests as possible. welcome to the new world!



by the same token, financial test is not just a male thing too.......we live in a world of sex equality now. what's good for the goose should suit the gander as well. by all means, the 2 parties should conduct as many tests as possible. eye test, ear test, body odour test, snore test, kitchen skill test, general hygiene test, etc.

A woman could have lost her wombdue to various diseases(exxample ovarian cancer) and not necessarily as a result of living recklessly!

some people just come to NL to show their lack of intelligence.
this would be father inlaw did not say, " i would prefer you to be a docyor". he only says " i will come to your office" just to get the evident that you are what you say you are. if you are a bus driver, just say you are a bus driver simple. afterall, some bus conductors are married with children. the intent is just to make sure people are what they claim to be. AFRICAN MEN!!!!!.. Just say what you , don't live on fake identity, otherwise , fake things will gather around you.

Why are people missing the point thinking it is about Papa wanting to know how much the potential suitor makes??!!

It is soooo not about that! Daddy wants to know if the guy is working. . .be it gateman, maiguard, security officer. . .as long as it is LEGIT, this is what he wants to know!!!!!!!

If mama in law wants to perform fertility test on her daughter in law to avoid being duped, she better bring her son along. . .after all FERTILITY ISSUES are not women problem only.

@coogar

I just knew the side of the argument you'd take on. Why shouldn't the father take you at face-value? Where is it written in stone that since you are dating his daughter that he should automatically trust you? Trust is earned not given. The same way you earned your girl's trust, do the same for the father. Even if you were referenced by someone in a company, they would still perform certain checks on you. Why don't you scream for privacy when employers try to prove you are who you say you are?

There is nothing that scares a jobless man like the question "what do you do?" , op I am sure your cousin is they type that claims he is a contractor or import/exporter of general merchant without an office.

A girl when well brainwashed will have no problem with that. But the father sees clearly, he wants to see consistency in income no matter how little. Why will he want to breakup with his fiance becos her father wants to visit his office.?

He shld be happy that the man is even willing to give the daughter out on such a simple condition. Some father will simply say no and there is nothing u can do about it.

Not when u take someones daughter, get her pregnant you can't afford to take care of the child, u tell her she can go back to her fathers house if she wants. Then the man will start to take care of his daughter and grand child again.

What if the man comes to his office and decides to patronize his service?

Like I would care if MIL wants to perform fertility test. Infact I'd drive her to the hospital myself. I probably would have done the tests with her son, long before she even insinuates such.
Marriage is serious business!

Sisi_Kill: Why are people missing the point thinking it is about Papa wanting to know how much the potential suitor makes??!!

It is soooo not about that! Daddy wants to know if the guy is working. . .be it gateman, maiguard, security officer. . .as long as it is LEGIT, this is what he wants to know!!!!!!!

Exactly! A simple question of 'Are you who you say you are'?
Why should anyone get petty over that?

stillwater: Like I would care if MIL wants to perform fertility test. Infact I'd drive her to the hospital myself. I probably would have done the tests with her son, long before she even insinuates such.
Marriage is serious business!

Rotflmao!! Exactly!!!


@ Topic

People are asking what if the Son in law loses his job after daddy's inspection. Well it won't be a problem since son in law was hardworking before. . .daddy has no fear of him turning to a lazy bum! Daddy is rest assured he will try to find another, heck daddy might even be compelled to help out if he can....why? Because Daddy knows he is dealing with a STAND UP GUY!!!

Again it is not about MONEY it is about LEGIT WORKING!!!!!!

stillwater:

Exactly! A simple question of 'Are you who you say you are'?
Why should anyone get petty over that?

Don't mind all these I am a business man, consultant, entrepreneur bojuboju, green light, red light, now you see it, next you don't...guys!!

They be getting bursted!!

Sisi_Kill:

Rotflmao!! Exactly!!!

Only a woman who has ruined herself would be having second thoughts about going for the tests. The same way only a man who has over-inflated his financial standing would be shaking like a leaf if he's asked to prove that he is what he says he is.

But I have to add that my father's findings good or bad will not influence my decision to marry him. The decision lies with me.

Sisi_Kill:

Don't mind all these I am a business man, consultant, entrepreneur bojuboju, green light, red light, now you see it, next you don't...guys!!

They be getting bursted!!

Lol, I will even tell my dad that he should ask for his school certificates from nursery 1 to University, if he makes too much fuss.

coogar:

by the same token, where's the trust? why would a father-in-law not trust me via face value? follow me to my place of work to find out if i am employed? after then what else? spërm motility test? psych evaluation? that's arrant nonsense!

ok, let's flip the script, how many of today's women would follow their mother in law to a clinic to have a virginity test or fertility test?.......by the same token, there are lots of women who have done multiple abortions with their wombs completely removed.....

using your own words, i wouldn't blame any mother in law trying to know who her son is getting married to cos there are plenty of damaged goods out there in today's world! if women have nothing to hide, they should follow their mother in law to such clinics and have the test.


i rest my case!

Coogar, there is nothing like trust in this one oh! As far as its marriage, he takes his time to find out about the person family and work relations too.

I don't have any problem showing off my medical records if that's the requirement afterall some churches request for that before getting married. So my dear, if you got nothing to hide, why bother and tremble!