sleekman:

So you see why you shouldn't bring fairness into this equation but rather carrying out your responsibilities. Since ur hussy works parttime is it then fair to say that ur hussy is a roaring domesticated cat and not yet a lion? Just wondering if ur husband has a good full time job and he'll want to be bossed around? I noticed u brought out the softer side of you in ur last post. Would it then be fair to say ure appreciating ur husband now because I can surely tell you that if some ladies reading your post set eyes on your man then na wahala O! I guess uve come around to our point that you allow a man be a man. No taming going on? I wonder what the agreement is all about? Are u misfiring or firing 180degrees with 2guns madam?

Lol. As she pointed out, the guy had been deprived of female companionship (in an alien land) for a whooping 9years! Its no suprise that he's eagerly jumping at her undies just to keep her in the relationship. Obviously, the guy is also very dependent on her. HE'S A SLAVE, DOING THE BIDDING OF HIS SLAVE MASTER, JUST FOR SURVIVAL. Just imagine, she even brags that he willingly does everything as if she didnt give him the conditions before helping him out. Am not suprised atall. Most men would do women's bidding under such circumstances. But when they eventually find their footing, they re-marry a respecting girl at home that would do as wives ought to. PLEASE NOTE THAT I DIDNT MENTION ANYONE'S NAME HERE IN PARTICULAR O.

Michky: Lol. As she pointed out, the guy had been deprived of female companionship (in an alien land) for a whooping 9years! Its no suprise that he's eagerly jumping at her undies just to keep her in the relationship. Obviously, the guy is also very dependent on her. HE'S A SLAVE, DOING THE BIDDING OF HIS SLAVE MASTER, JUST FOR SURVIVAL. Just imagine, she even brags that he willingly does everything as if she didnt give him the conditions before helping him out. Am not suprised atall. Most men would do women's bidding under such circumstances. But when they eventually find their footing, they re-marry a respecting girl at home that would do as wives ought to. PLEASE NOTE THAT I DIDNT MENTION ANYONE'S NAME HERE IN PARTICULAR O.

Deprived...? Lol. So a man should marry a woman just to have someone there, and not for love..? Nah.
You are still talking as if I make the rules in my marriage. And I am not alone in my marriage, which means I am not alone on deciding how the marriage works.
I did not give him any "conditions" other than expecting him to pay house with me. What do you mean I should have done, in the honor of african men? Told him to pay everything?

Michky: It is you that have a respect problem here. Let me explain better. Niki minaj (a popular American musician) was almost jailed for hugging a man publicly in Saudi Arabia. Why? She didnt respect the norms of the land. Same goes for you. Blabbing respect and bla bla bla; and yet YOU ARE NOT RESPECTING OUR DIGNITY AS AFRICAN MEN in a majorly Africa-populated forum. Its very similar to hugging a man in an airport in today's Saudi Arabia, if you ask me. You're unrelentingly stubborn and self-centred. Please stop this rubbish asking men to wash your undies here pls!

I have not asked any men to wash my undies I highly respect my husband, thank you very much.

bukatyne: I don't think how your brothers marriages work is your concern. We all have boundaries. I'm sure your husbands does some things his family would find offensive.

At this point, i dont believe you are fit for this type of argument. Perhaps, something a little more elementary would do. Just imagine, someone said she would throw away the bucket if she finds her brother washing wife's undies and the best you could think of saying is: is it her business? Wow. So if a wife attempts to take a husband's life, no one should interfere. Right? Well, i hope you know that men are also being killed by women in marriages these days. Lets hope one of your brothers dont end up as victims. Here's my advice to you Bukatyne, try to find a visionary man and give him all the support you can. Dont ask questions, dont make comments, just do as you're told. I think you'll make matters worse if you do otherwise.

JallowBah:

Deprived...? Lol. So a man should marry a woman just to have someone there, and not for love..? Nah.
You are still talking as if I make the rules in my marriage. And I am not alone in my marriage, which means I am not alone on deciding how the marriage works.
I did not give him any "conditions" other than expecting him to pay house with me. What do you mean I should have done, in the honor of african men? Told him to pay everything?



I have not asked any men to wash my undies I highly respect my husband, thank you very much.

Honestly, i dont believe this argument would have dragged this long if you had brought this post earlier. NOW, YOU HAVE MADE IT CLEAR THAT IT IS DISRESPECTFUL TO ASK YOUR MAN TO WASH YOUR UNDIES. *sighs deeply* Now you're talking! Now, we can agree to disagree on other issues. Good one girl. Good one.

Michky: Honestly, i dont believe this argument would have dragged this long if you had brought this post earlier. NOW, YOU HAVE MADE IT CLEAR THAT IT IS DISRESPECTFUL TO ASK YOUR MAN TO WASH YOUR UNDIES. *sighs deeply* Now you're talking! Now, we can agree to disagree on other issues. Good one girl. Good one.

I have stated all along that I have not DEMANDED anything from my husband. I have simply said how it works for us, and how I wish it to be in my marriage.

Demanding anything from your spouse is bull. You can always say what you want or do not want, and then work from there, but you can never demand things.

JallowBah:

If the husband think it is ok, good for them!

But for ME...I don`t know. It`s just not fair in my eyes. I would not feel proud spending all my money on my self, and expecting him to take full responsibility for finances. Again, that is ME.

That was not my opinion, just trying to reason along the lines of this thread. I also feel it's not right for the wifey to be working and contribute nada to the home purse just how it's not right for a hubby not to do house chores when he's at home. Most people who have these views use the Bible to justify them. Such women say 'a man that doesn't provide is worse than an infidel' but I wonder where it was written the woman should not contribute at all. The virtuous woman in Prov 31 is said to be a hard worker that provides food and clothing for her family. I wonder where she will keep all the money she makes. Misinterpretation of the Bible has caused more problems than we can solve.

Michky: You seem to understand my stand point. Divorce is definitely going to be inexistent in your to-be marriage. But from the stubborn reactions of the self-acclaimed whitey and the other dumb one; its as if i've been speaking plutonian since. I dont get them atall. Note: Bukatyne, the dumb there isnt an insult. It is a fact. So, its best you dont take offence.

If I take offence to what a faceless nameless NL username says to me then I am truly dumb.

Michky: At this point, i dont believe you are fit for this type of argument. Perhaps, something a little more elementary would do. Just imagine, someone said she would throw away the bucket if she finds her brother washing wife's undies and the best you could think of saying is: is it her business? Wow. So if a wife attempts to take a husband's life, no one should interfere. Right? Well, i hope you know that men are also being killed by women in marriages these days. Lets hope one of your brothers dont end up as victims. Here's my advice to you Bukatyne, try to find a visionary man and give him all the support you can. Dont ask questions, dont make comments, just do as you're told. I think you'll make matters worse if you do otherwise.

So you compare washing undies or not to wanting to kill the husband? A little understanding will do you a lot of good. As I have always said, everyman to his own so why are you giving yourself an headache on how I want to live my life or marriage? Please keep your advice to yourself.

Michky: At this point, i dont believe you are fit for this type of argument. Perhaps, something a little more elementary would do. Just imagine, someone said she would throw away the bucket if she finds her brother washing wife's undies and the best you could think of saying is: is it her business? Wow. So if a wife attempts to take a husband's life, no one should interfere. Right? Well, i hope you know that men are also being killed by women in marriages these days. Lets hope one of your brothers dont end up as victims. Here's my advice to you Bukatyne, try to find a visionary man and give him all the support you can. Dont ask questions, dont make comments, just do as you're told. I think you'll make matters worse if you do otherwise.

So you compare washing undies or not to wanting to kill the husband? A little understanding will do you a lot of good. As I have always said, everyman to his own so why are you giving yourself an headache on how I want to live my life or marriage? Please keep your advice to yourself.

bukatyne: So you compare washing undies or not to wanting to kill the husband? A little understanding will do you a lot of good. As I have always said, everyman to his own so why are you giving yourself an headache on how I want to live my life or marriage? Please keep your advice to yourself.

bukatyne: I don't think how your brothers marriages work is your concern. We all have boundaries. I'm sure your husbands does some things his family would find offensive.

From your post, you made it clear that it is no one's business what happens in the home of a relative (remember that you didn't add any exceptions whatsoever). According to you: We all have boundaries which i agree to an extent. But you now ask me why i compare washing undies to killing husband. Do you even know what you're talking about? Besides, if boundaries exist, then even if husband and wife kill themselves, its no one's business if i am to go by you boundary-philosophy. Girl, please think before your next post.

bukatyne: That was not my opinion, just trying to reason along the lines of this thread. I also feel it's not right for the wifey to be working and contribute nada to the home purse just how it's not right for a hubby not to do house chores when he's at home. Most people who have these views use the Bible to justify them. Such women say 'a man that doesn't provide is worse than an infidel' but I wonder where it was written the woman should not contribute at all. The virtuous woman in Prov 31 is said to be a hard worker that provides food and clothing for her family. I wonder where she will keep all the money she makes. Misinterpretation of the Bible has caused more problems than we can solve.

Going by this post, i can authoritatively say you don't know what you want, just like many female folks of yours. You just see how others are doing theirs and you've joined the band-waggon without asking why they've chosen those lines of action. You very clearly don't know how things work but you feel you're in the best position to participate in the decision making process.

If a man, for instance, has all the wealth to carry both of you for another one thousand years, you feel its still your obligation to go out and do minor jobs just because you want to contribute abi? My dear, you're best a follower. Problem is you've been following the wrong persons or principles.

BTW, you're one of the ring leaders misinterpreting the bible if you don't know. Everything about you is praying for change but your ignorance and stubbornness won't allow it. Sorry that i had to be this blunt. You don't know me, i don't know you either. But you had better take my advice. CHANGE!

If you don't know where to start, ask me and i'll gladly show you.

Michky:



From your post, you made it clear that it is no one's business what happens in the home of a relative (remember that you didn't add any exceptions whatsoever). According to you: We all have boundaries which i agree to an extent. But you now ask me why i compare washing undies to killing husband. Do you even know what you're talking about? Besides, if boundaries exist, then even if husband and wife kill themselves, its no one's business if i am to go by you boundary-philosophy. Girl, please think before your next post.

My dear, take this advice first. I have stated my opinion and you have stated yours. In conlusion, run your home as you deem fit and I will run mine as I deem fit. Thanks. Have a nice day.

As for me, this is how i want my things done. Husband pays rent, fees, and bills generally. Wifey provides everything the kitchen needs, feeds the family, sees to children welfare and ensures general cleanliness of the home. Ofcourse, every other man have edited versions of how they want their home to be run, but none of them would sign up for being share a chore or being asked to wash undies.

I believe this is simple enough. This is what i think a man's duty in the home should be.

Thank you.

bukatyne: My dear, take this advice first. I have stated my opinion and you have stated yours. In conlusion, run your home as you deem fit and I will run mine as I deem fit. Thanks. Have a nice day.

Obviously, you took my advise. Good for you. I hope you won't forget everything i've thrown at you here. BTW, no one has argued with you about how you want to do your thing. All we've been saying is throwing it in the open in the manner you're doing is very insulting and disrespectful to the men around (considering the majority of folks here). I believe its time to rest my case aswell.

Michky: As for me, this is how i want my things done. Husband pays rent, fees, and bills generally. Wifey provides everything the kitchen needs, feeds the family, sees to children welfare and ensures general cleanliness of the home. Ofcourse, every other man have edited versions of how they want their home to be run, but none of them would sign up for being share a chore or being asked to wash undies.

I believe this is simple enough. This is what i think a man's duty in the home should be.

Thank you.

...says YOU.

https://www.nairaland.com/1194253/dear-nigerian-men-dont-housework#14288572
women at it again

JallowBah:

I have not changed anything, it is you and the other dude who just assumed I -made- my husband to the chores.
I could never marry a man that wanted me to do everything in the house, even when both of us are working. He has clearly said he could never marry a woman who expected him to pay everything.

My husband is a lion. Him not working fulltime does not make him any less of a man.
I have been appreciating him all along, it is not my fault you boys make up stories and think to yourself that because he do chores, "SHE MUST HAVE MADE HIM DO IT!".

The agreement for us is that when we work full-time, we take apx half/Half each. He has responsibility for some parts of the house, I have for others.
If one of us cook, the other take the dishes.
Most of the time, it is me taking the clothes, floor all around, cleaning the fridge when needed, windows etc.
Most of the time, he takes the bathroom-cleaning.
For us, this agreement works. For others, probably not.

The problem here is that u must think ure talking to a fool who doesn't understand the agreement that exists between u and ur man. U didn't force ur man? Yeah right. You apportion chores and you dare open that lousy mouth of yours to say he wasn't forced? Hahahaha I laff in svenska. Let me see if your husband wins a lottery and he decides to get a relation of his to come do his share of the work what happens? You'll scream blue-murder he has reneged on his agreement? Infact you're a disgrace to womanhood. Your husband cooks while u cross ur legs in the living room expecting to be served? Now I get your idea of equality.
Tell u what, you should have proposed to him too. Let me see as its customary in Sweden I guess your children are going to bear both your surnames. U know what I speak from experience. All what uve said was exactly what I opposed when I was dating one of ur likes. The thing I liked about her was she mellowed and agreed the way of the African Lion. Agreement my foot.

JallowBah:

It`s not like all of the women LIKE cleaning either, you know.

I actually hate it. It is boring and I wish I did not have to do it, but I still do it, because it is needed.

I'm very sorry for the domesticated cat u have. More like a servant husband. Mtchewwwwwwwwwwwww

sleekman:

The problem here is that u must think ure talking to a fool who doesn't understand the agreement that exists between u and ur man. U didn't force ur man? Yeah right. You apportion chores and you dare open that lousy mouth of yours to say he wasn't forced? Hahahaha I laff in svenska. Let me see if your husband wins a lottery and he decides to get a relation of his to come do his share of the work what happens? You'll scream blue-murder he has reneged on his agreement? Infact you're a disgrace to womanhood. Your husband cooks while u cross ur legs in the living room expecting to be served? Now I get your idea of equality.
Tell u what, you should have proposed to him too. Let me see as its customary in Sweden I guess your children are going to bear both your surnames. U know what I speak from experience. All what uve said was exactly what I opposed when I was dating one of ur likes. The thing I liked about her was she mellowed and agreed the way of the African Lion. Agreement my foot.

Of course our daughter have both of our names, why not? That was actually not even my idea My surname is not very much used in my country, so we put them together. Why is that an issue?
We call her by her african names, but she can later on choose for her self. She should be euqally proud of both families, names, and history.

Why do you continue to think I force him? Why is it so hard for you to see that not all people think like you?
And if my husband won the lottery, we would move back to Africa. I would open a small shop, and not worry if I did not make enough money that day or not. We even lived there with his sister and his brothers, and the brothers still cleaned their own clothes, my husband still cooked, and he and his brother all still cleaned the compound. Imagine that..you think I forced them all? Really?

And I dont know why you talk about Sweden so much. I am not swedish.

sleekman:

I'm very sorry for the domesticated cat u have. More like a servant husband. Mtchewwwwwwwwwwwww

I am sorry for you being so ignorant.

JallowBah:

Of course our daughter have both of our names, why not? That was actually not even my idea My surname is not very much used in my country, so we put them together. Why is that an issue?
We call her by her african names, but she can later on choose for her self. She should be euqally proud of both families, names, and history.

Why do you continue to think I force him? Why is it so hard for you to see that not all people think like you?
And if my husband won the lottery, we would move back to Africa. I would open a small shop, and not worry if I did not make enough money that day or not. We even lived there with his sister and his brothers, and the brothers still cleaned their own clothes, my husband still cooked, and he and his brother all still cleaned the compound. Imagine that..you think I forced them all? Really?

And I dont know why you talk about Sweden so much. I am not swedish.



I am sorry for you being so ignorant.

This girl don enter that thread wey cameroon drop. Check am. She's a big error. Disgrace is an understatement.

Michky: This girl don enter that thread wey cameroon drop. Check am. She's a big error. Disgrace is an understatement.

Nah, at least I treat my spouse with respect.
You are probably not even married, and I feel sorry for your future wife.

JallowBah:

Of course our daughter have both of our names, why not? That was actually not even my idea My surname is not very much used in my country, so we put them together. Why is that an issue?
We call her by her african names, but she can later on choose for her self. She should be euqally proud of both families, names, and history.

Why do you continue to think I force him? Why is it so hard for you to see that not all people think like you?
And if my husband won the lottery, we would move back to Africa. I would open a small shop, and not worry if I did not make enough money that day or not. We even lived there with his sister and his brothers, and the brothers still cleaned their own clothes, my husband still cooked, and he and his brother all still cleaned the compound. Imagine that..you think I forced them all? Really?

And I dont know why you talk about Sweden so much. I am not swedish.



I am sorry for you being so ignorant.

do you mind me asking what your nationality is

dick hardener: do you mind me asking what your nationality is

Does it matter?

JallowBah:

Does it matter?

y do u sound repulsive?

dick hardener: y do u sound repulsive?

Excuse me..?

I was just asking if it matters where I live..

JallowBah:

Excuse me..?

I was just asking if it matters where I live..

where are you from? what country are you from? Nationality!!!!!! Not country of residence...

dick hardener: where are you from? what country are you from? Nationality!!!!!! Not country of residence...

....Norway.

JallowBah:

....Norway.

I seeeeeeee

dick hardener: I seeeeeeee

See what?

JallowBah:

See what?

I mean I have a better inclination to your trend. It's typical.

dick hardener: I mean I have a better inclination to your trend. It's typical.

Mhm, right. Judge me by my country.

Norway, Sweden, Finland, Denmark any difference? All Scandinavian, all with same cultures, beliefs.
Can everyone now see the trend I've been talking about?
1. Men now have 2 do chores.
2. The women want to keep hyphenated surnames.
3. Children now have 2 share both mother's and fathers family names.
4. If ur wife asks u for a divorce the man gets 2 leave d house and seek temporary accommodation until d divorce case is settled.
5. The man can't decide d faith of his children
6. A man has 2 cook while his wife smokes in d livingroom all in d name of feminism.
The list goes on and on. Lady if u want to enjoy dis forum I'll advice u keep ur rotten culture 2 urself.