@Uchetobi

You have shown that the brokenness does affect.
but what one needs to have is the right people around.

Great

Yea

dpends on indivdual and mindset built.
it cld go a long way in affecting the resp person bt
a diff approach in2 d mata will make d individual hu e wanna be
it either makes or mar u in d nearest future

most people think it can
but i think it depend on Individual
personal i dont think that should be an
excuse or a good justification to act funny or affect ur future romance

@ Gamine

I don't know for him o. I felt that if he had no regard for my family that brought me up to his taste then there's no need to go on.

He was hurt but I didn't bulge

Solid or broken homes, a person has choices and as he/she grows up, they make those choices - for good or for bad. I've seen a lot of children that came out of broken homes make a success of their marriages and I've also seen children from solid homes whose marriages have hit the rock over and over again. Making the right choices is what I think life is all about.

Sisikill:

Think about it, a child misbehaves. . . a normal thing with ALL children but because he is from a broken home,  people around him look at him and say "Aww, he is acting up because his parents are divorced" so he doesn't get punished or not as severly as he should have been. He thinks to himself "Hmm, I am acting out because my parents are divorced". What does he do? Misbehaves some more but this time with the assurance of someone who now believes he has a reason to misbehave. Now flip it over to a kid who comes from an unbroken home, he misbehaves and before he can say Jack Robinson, he is punished and told that kind of of behavior is unacceptable. Do you think he'll do it again? of course he will, he is a kid after all BUT this time on the sly, peeking over his shoulder to make sure he doesn't get caught and punished again.

Not all children from unbroken homes are punished or beaten by their parents when they misbahaved. Their are homes where parents don't scold their children not to talk of beating them. They over pamper them.

Nigerians are too rigid when it comes to cultural issues.

yet when they date or marry non-Nigerians abroad, all these cultural norms and mores get thrown out the window.

But let them see a fellow Nigerian, then all the shakara comes into play.

"This one is from a broken home , so thats why I'm better and have to put up with their behavior, that one's mom or dad is a divorce/e, therefore I'm far better since my own home was a loving one, all that anger and rudeness is because s/he is from a broken home, even the way this person eats, is because thats how they eat in a broken home etc etc".


yeah right.


Most people abroad (foreigners), who are from broken homes, do not have any distinguishing characteristics that set them apart from others, as adults. In fact, many serial killers come from unbroken homes.

with all the unbroken homes in Nigeria, the political section is still full of people cursing and insulting the place.  And praising and blessing the west which is full of broken homes as well as kids and leaders who are the products of broken homes.  Isnt it these same people who are worshipping Obama?

It ought not to affect, but a lot of people from such homes carries such mindset and view their future romance with that same direction intead of them to learn from it and act otherwise.

my lecturer told me then when i was in school that if i want to pick a lady for marriage, i must first all check the home she came from and the kind of life her monther is living. that is to say, if i am proud of her mother as a wife then i should go ahead and settle with her daughter.

Reasons= 75% of ladies character are from the monther

right.

You can never have problems in marriage as long as you choose a lady whose mother you admire.


Like I said, all these standards apply only when a Nigerian is marrying or dating another Nigerian.

The Nigerian bylaws and marriage guides mysteriously vanish when a Nigerian has his eye on a foreigner. In those cases, its the hair or skin color that's more important, not background. Even if the woman slaps you multiple times on the regular, na play.

tpia:

Nigerians are too rigid when it comes to cultural issues.

yet when they date or marry non-Nigerians abroad, all these cultural norms and mores get thrown out the window.

But let them see a fellow Nigerian, then all the shakara comes into play.

"This one is from a broken home , so thats why I'm better and have to put up with their behavior, that one's mom or dad is a divorce/e, therefore I'm far better since my own home was a loving one, all that anger and rudeness is because s/he is from a broken home, even the way this person eats, is because thats how they eat in a broken home etc etc".



yeah right.


Most people abroad (foreigners), who are from broken homes, do not have any distinguishing characteristics that set them apart from others, as adults. In fact, many serial killers come from unbroken homes.

with all the unbroken homes in Nigeria, the political section is still full of people cursing and insulting the place. And praising and blessing the west which is full of broken homes as well as kids and leaders who are the products of broken homes. Isnt it these same people who are worshipping Obama?

tpia:

right.

You can never have problems in marriage as long as you choose a lady whose mother you admire.


Like I said, all these standards apply only when a Nigerian is marrying or dating another Nigerian.

The Nigerian bylaws and marriage guides mysteriously vanish when a Nigerian has his eye on a foreigner. In those cases, its the hair or skin color that's more important, not background. Even if the woman slaps you multiple times on the regular, na play.

ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY!!!

They date non-Nigerians who don't know her daddy but the good news is she in the process of finding out which one of her "4 uncles" is her daddy from the Maury Show. . . yet look their noses down on Nigerians whose parents are divorced.

They date non-Nigerians who has 3 kids from 3 baby daddies and has no qualms telling them "she don't need no man to take care of her babies because her mama di'ent need one neither and she got 7 babies. . . yet look down on Nigerians whose parents are divorced.

They date non-Nigerians who gon be straight with 'em upfront, he don't do marriage coz he seen how marriage messed up he daddy's live. . . yet they look down their noses on Nigerian who parents are divorced.

They date non-Nigerian who will has trust issues with men because when she was like 10, her father, who like left her mother for his secretary, promised he would like come see her ballet performance in The Nutcracker but like totally bailed on her. . . yet they look down on Nigerians whose parents are divorced.

Because only NIGERIAN children from the broken homes have problems.

*Rolleye*

The Broken Home situation also applies to those
whose parents dont have a good relationship.

The bond between the parents is broken, therefore a broken home
even when they still live together

@gamine
i wil agree with that

i really dont think it'll affect future romance, it depends on the person if he or she allows himself to be a product of that.

Honestly,pple from broken homes are risk when it comes to marriage but that doesnt mean we dont have good ones.The reasons for such broken homes should be investigated before decisions are made.Again the personality of the parents and other conditions sorounding the childs growing period do make some difference.
If u have such friends they need encouragement!

Encouragement to do what?

thank you oh @ sisikill and estefi.

The fact is : if you're a Nigerian woman looking down on someone because he's from a broken home and therefore not good enough for you, know that when or if this same man goes abroad, 97% of the white or Black American women he meets, wont care if his parents are together or not. They'll marry him without batting an eyelid.

So when you're single and going on 40, thanking your stars that you didnt marry someone from a broken home (or maybe you're miserably married to/divorced from an "unbroken" home guy), the first guy from the broken home may be enjoying his own life where he is, with his two or more kids and his foreign wife who didnt hold him accountable for his parents lives.


One of my relatives who can't even speak standard Yoruba talkless good English, went abroad and today is married to a foreign woman who speaks better English than he does. Am sure in Nigeria some girls would have been looking down their noses at him for whatever reason.

Papito:

It ought not to affect, but a lot of people from such homes carries such mindset and view their future romance with that same direction intead of them to learn from it and act otherwise.

my lecturer told me then when i was in school that if i want to pick a lady for marriage, i must first all check the home she came from and the kind of life her monther is living. that is to say, if i am proud of her mother as a wife then i should go ahead and settle with her daughter.

Reasons= 75% of ladies character are from the monther

Lies

The thing is, whats a Monther?

I knmow its not easy to grow up in a broken home and its definetly not the child,s choice.They need to be encouraged and be given every emotional support.

@Syren I agree with you mothers play a greatv role in a girls life.

well, if someone finds a good man or woman, but wants to act uppity and picky for no other reason than because the person is from a broken home or their background isnt up to the required qualifications, karma may still come back to kick you in the behind sha.



Its not even advisable for anyone regardless of background, to enter a relationship with someone so shallow as to judge people based on that.

doe82:

I knmow its not easy to grow up in a broken home and its definetly not the child,s choice.They need to be encouraged and be given every emotional support.

@Syren I agree with you mothers play a greatv role in a girls life.

you mean great as in good or great as in big?

Coming from a broken home is not suppose to affect any future romance unless if you allowed it to weigh you down, you can move ahead with your love life

Lol @ tpia and SisiKill. So true.

Amazing how the single BA/Hispanic moms are apealing to these guys but once it's a single Naija mom, she's 'disgrace to womanhood unworthy of marriage"

It's amazing how these "men" worship anything foreign to the point of putting away their so called standards for them

@Syren I mean GREAT deal of role.culd b good or bad depending on the mothers personality and circumstances.

Facts over diluted opinions.

CH3COO:

Facts over diluted opinions.

didnt get what u mean

doe82:

@Syren I mean GREAT deal of role.culd b good or bad depending on the mothers personality and circumstances.

ok, I see what your saying, but I actually disagreed with the argument that 75% of a girls character is from her mother it depends on how much the mother has had an influence on the daughter, if they are close then perhaps, but if they're not together then that wont be the case.

@Syren

I agree that 75% is grossly an exaggeration especially in these days and times when girls spend most of their time in schools and campuses amongst friends of every character and background composition.But believe you me Mothers have a role to play in the satbility of their mothers marriage.

doe82:

@Syren

I agree that 75% is grossly an exaggeration especially in these days and times when girls spend most of their time in schools and campuses amongst friends of every character and background composition.But believe you me Mothers have a role to play in the satbility of their mothers marriage.

you mean daughter's marriage? (if not never mind). But what the guy said about looking at a mothers marriage to determine if her daughter is marriable is complete nonsense to me. As it's been said b4, plenty of people grow up in stable homes but still get divorced. And people who grow up in broken homes can have happy marriages. If you could give an reason for why you feel that way It'll help.

@ SYREN

D reasons are obvious baby, and u know that.I wwill tel 2 stories to illustrate my points but not now as I ve to get some jobs done.With them I believe u will get the trrue picture!

Yes it does.