Oahray: perform this experiment, and you'd get your answer.

Get someone to hold out one hand straight out and sideways. Hold the wrist with your thumb and index finger and rock his/her hand up and down slowly and only slightly. After a little while, you should notice that the hand feels lighter to you. Later, if you remove your hand, the other person's hand continues rocking on its own.

Incase you didn't get the point. When something becomes the norm, we inevitably start to anticipate it.

BTW, you really should read up the posts that led up to that comment. It was simply our reaction to the op's presumptuous assertion that we didn't read her post. No one ever gets truly enlightened by reading stuff out of context. Be truly enlightened!

The norm on here? Well, I can't say since I rarely discuss feminism on here. I saw the rat comment, but why get carried away with one person over all else?

What flaws does the original post present?

Abeg make una go open another thread for una eyecandy Mr pickabeau and co were you not supposed to be watching the beautiful game

Hi lorretta I just thought to comment to add my two cents.I read the article and even if did not read I think I have shared on these boards that I studied Femininsm from the academic view point(my final year degree project was on feminism in Islam) and I wrote and researched my project myself(too stingy to pay 50k to get someone to write it for me lol ) so i studied it and know the reasons for the advent of the movement.So yeah your article makes valid points but I just want to digress a bit.

I think I read somewhere you said one of the things that made you embrace the feminist ideology was that you were denied a position you were more qualified for simply because you were a girl.That is not on but I will share my own experiences which is similar to that of a lot of girls I know and as such why I don't think not nececesarily wanting to be called a feminist in any way means you believe women should be shackled.

I grew up around very very strong women in positions of authority.My paternal grandmother was not western educated Infact she sold pepper in her local market(you know those big time pepper traders that had to go the north) and gradually became the iyaloja(I think its called head of market in English) of her neck of the woods and male local government chairmen had to defer to her.My mum is from ijebu and I am not lying when I say ALOT of the women from her side of the family are extremely strong women(there is even an unfair stereotype that ijebu women jazz their husbands ) women who were never treated inferior both at home and in the workplace.My mum rose to management level of a govt parastatal and at the time of her leaving the MD was female,they had female executive directors and a lot of women around me were just doing as well as the men.My primary school proprietress was female and was in a position of authority over the headmaster who was male.My secondary school principal was female with a male vice so I had examples of females in authority around me and as such was not even an issue of women always being beneath men.


As I have shared on here I was also lucky to have a father who helped myself and my sister believe in ourselves,My brother is the only boy and he was never treated like he was better than us, my mum would send him to go grind pepper and my dad would tell me to go put on the generator so it was never a gender issue in our household but who was available at the time.My brother used to grumble though that none of his friends were sent to grind pepper when there girls or house help in the house(was apparently picking it up in their houses ) but that was his business cos my parents never listened . My grandmother was the first child of her father and had equal inheritance as her brothers.My mum even though from a polygamous background had as much say in what happened as her brothers and in short decisions were not made without her input.My grandmother resisted being married off to my grandfathers brother after his death and nobody did anything to her.


I was head of literary and debating society in primary /secondary school,my deputy was a boy.I was also part of the quiz team and sometimes led us to quiz competitions.We had head boy and head girl and they were both as influential as the other(went to mixed secondary school).Male and female prefects were the same.I led teams (as long as I was the more capable person) and so maybe I was lucky and shielded a bit from that patriarchal construct of males being ahead of females growing up but it truly was never an issue for me. I was just taught to be the best I could be,run my own race,not let anybody try to bruise my self esteem,believe in myself and not feel entitled.I believe those ideals are what is best we teach our children(both genders)and not try to teach the girl child that you might to have always fight for respect and the boy child you are inherently better.I have one of each gender and I hope We are able to impart those values into them.

EnlightenedSoul:

The norm on here? Well, I can't say since I rarely discuss feminism on here. I saw the rat comment, but why get carried away with one person over all else?

What flaws does the original post present?

my first post here highlighted the first flaw I noticed with the original post. It was however ignored. When the op later concluded that people didn't read it cos they didn't agree, it became obvious that the thread, like other feminist threads, isn't really one created for any sort of intelligent discussion.

cococandy:

I wonder too.
But it works like this. It's either you claim you're against men so they latch unto that to discredit your points as arising from man-hate.
Or if you insist you don't hate men,then you don't know what you're on about because the conviction is that what you're preaching is man-hate no matter what you say otherwise.

Anyway it will take a special kind of mental imbalance to get a babe like me to hate men.

Oh no. Not those huge hunks of chocolatey goodness.

Lol what the heck, tho

1) No, I don't hate men
2) No, I do not want to be a man.
3) I love being a woman.
4) I am feminine.
5) Your masculinity is not a threat.
6) My objective is the legal and societal equality of women.
7) Unless you can argue that 6 is unfair, what is your problem?
8. If 6 is unfair to you, tell me why and how?

Lets all be clear here.

*double post *

5minsmadness:

Where do you see real lack of equality in our society nowadays? Did your parents deny you education because you are female? Were you shouted down in church when you gave testimony? Does your husband come home from work, address you as 'woman, bring my food!' and then sits watching the news while you kneel beside him massaging his feet in fear and trembling?


[
b]I stand for feminity and not feminism[/b].

A milion thanks for this. This is the problem. Many women are too ignorant to know what reality is. It's like Olivier Giroud trying to resuscitate the French revolution. I have sisters, a mother, aunties, a wife, at no time have I heard that they were discriminated on by society for being female. All my female relatives who work earn equal pay to their male colleagues of the same level. They all go to school and, you will bear me witness, that they get better pocket money than their male siblings, that's not inequality until they receive less! It is nauseating. I don't think women are less than I am, I have never carried myself in such a manner. Oh, well...

Your bolded is the bottom-line though.

Oahray: Well, the few ladies I've seen who claim feminism happen to be men haters. Not many would agree that they are anyway.

Doesn't number 4 negate the whole claim in number 1 that women want equal rights FOR EVERYONE regardless of gender? Either you feminist peeps are confused or you are outright deceitful.

I just saw this. I'll address it.

Or perhaps you're deceiving yourself? It doesn't negate number 1 for the simple fact that women were the ones who had to play catchup (In the West. Still not even close in Africa) on all fronts.

Why is it a surprise that they'd focus on equal rights for women? The men already had those rights! Notice the equal in equal rights for women .

Lailai.... this is our eye candy thread
I am looking for some of my oics from my calabar carnival tour years back courtesy dantesdasz

candy is candy

I have been enjoying the mundial though i woke up to the sad news that neymar is not playing again

I hope they can best the Germans on Tuesday

I now regret not going...

damiso: Abeg make una go open another thread for una eyecandy Mr pickabeau and co were you not supposed to be watching the beautiful game

Hi lorretta I just thought to comment to add my two cents.I read the article and even if did not read I think I have shared on these boards that I studied Femininsm from the academic view point(my final year degree project was on feminism in Islam) and I wrote and researched my project myself(too stingy to pay 50k to get someone to write it for me lol ) so i studied it and know the reasons for the advent of the movement.So yeah your article makes valid points but I just want to digress a bit.

I think I read somewhere you said one of the things that made you embrace the feminist ideology was that you were denied a position you were more qualified for simply because you were a girl.That is not on but I will share my own experiences which is similar to that of a lot of girls I know and as such why I don't think not nececesarily wanting to be called a feminist in any way means you believe women should be shackled.

I grew up around very very strong women in positions of authority.My paternal grandmother was not western educated Infact she sold pepper in her local market(you know those big time pepper traders that had to go the north) and gradually became the iyaloja(I think its called head of market in English) of her neck of the woods and male local government chairmen had to defer to her.My mum is from ijebu and I am not lying when I say ALOT of the women from her side of the family are extremely strong women(there is even an unfair stereotype that ijebu women jazz their husbands ) women who were never treated inferior both at home and in the workplace.My mum rose to management level of a govt parastatal and at the time of her leaving the MD was female,they had female executive directors and a lot of women around me were just doing as well as the men.My primary school proprietress was female and was in a position of authority over the headmaster who was male.My secondary school principal was female with a male vice so I had examples of females in authority around me and as such was not even an issue of women always being beneath men.


As I have shared on here I was also lucky to have a father who helped myself and my sister believe in ourselves,My brother is the only boy and he was never treated like he was better than us, my mum would send him to go grind pepper and my dad would tell me to go put on the generator so it was never a gender issue in our household but who was available at the time.My brother used to grumble though that none of his friends were sent to grind pepper when there girls or house help in the house(was apparently picking it up in their houses ) but that was his business cos my parents never listened . My grandmother was the first child of her father and had equal inheritance as her brothers.My mum even though from a polygamous background had as much say in what happened as her brothers and in short decisions were not made without her input.My grandmother resisted being married off to my grandfathers brother after his death and nobody did anything to her.


I was head of literary and debating society in primary /secondary school,my deputy was a boy.I was also part of the quiz team and sometimes led us to quiz competitions.We had head boy and head girl and they were both as influential as the other(went to mixed secondary school).Male and female prefects were the same.I led teams (as long as I was the more capable person) and so maybe I was lucky and shielded a bit from that patriarchal construct of males being ahead of females growing up but it truly was never an issue for me. I was just taught to be the best I could be,run my own race,not let anybody try to bruise my self esteem,believe in myself and not feel entitled.I believe those ideals are what is best we teach our children(both genders)and not try to teach the girl child that you might to have always fight for respect and the boy child you are inherently better.I have one of each gender and I hope We are able to impart those values into them.

cococandy:
I could take a whole day but not do justice to this question.

*You do know that first and foremost,the mindset and opinion is that women are beneath men. That alone is something the needs to be corrected.

Whose mindset? Yours?
*

Legally?. Is there a law that protects women from abusive men? If there is,it only comes into play when the woman is dead or raped.
Other instances of assualt are dismissed as family matter.

Yes there is a law! If your husband punches you in the face you report to the police, I am fully aware of this!
Who dismisses it as family matter? When we wanted to arrest a man for battering his wife she and her mother were the one who refused, saying it was a family matter. On further discussion the woman admitted that she was the one who baited her husband. Should the police now arrest him without her pressing charges?

*

Legally? An African country just passed a law that permits men to take other wives if they wish without their wives' consents. That's not legal oppression?

True, but hasn't polygamy been here all along? Did the said country's wives stage a protest against that law? In fact I could be wrong but I heard the people spearheading the opposition are other males. The extra wives to be married are they not women? Why would you marry a man who you know already has a wife if you don't support it?

*

Most guys will tell you they don't want a woman at the pinacle of her career because she must have been thru' hell to get there. Why do they say so? Because they know the nigerian society is one that requires you to work your way up to the top of the ladder on your back with your legs spread. Not because you aren't qualified but because you can be made to forfeit whatever it is you pursue so badly.
Is anything being done about this?
No. The guys cover the others up and intimate assults keeps on increasing. There's hardly any woman who's made it to the top that didn't get there by hiding behind a powerful man to protect her against the predators.

This is a worldwide phenomenon. I agree its more difficult for a female to rise than a male due to sexual pressures. However I also know females who have risen to the pinnacle of their careers without opening their legs. I won't swear to it though. Then again is it possible some of these ladies open their legs before being asked in a bid to skyrocket to the top?


*

You know females can't inherit property in some parts of our dear country?

*some females aren't allowed education and their own choices in the upper part of Nigeria. But I guess it's ok because their religion permits it.
Not so?

If you read my previous post you will see where i mentioned some parts of the country. Those parts that keep dragging us back socially, medically, politically and other wise. But this is the wrong thread for it .

As for the inheritance stuff it'd part of our culture. It is so because in the past the woman was expected to return to her village if anything happened to the man. It may not be viewed as fair in this day and age but I'm sure you are aware there are legal recourses taken to back up the woman to get the inheritance.


I don't want it to look like I'm negating all your views. Remembee i said i used to like what feminism stood for before but not anymore. I'm just saying the feminism thing has stopped being music and has turned to noise.

EnlightenedSoul:

Or perhaps you're deceiving yourself. It doesn't negate number 1 for the simple fact that women had to play catchup (in the West) on many fronts. Why is it a surprise that they'd focus on equal rights for women. The men already had those rights!

Read number 4 again. Lemme use an illustration...

It's like this. We are both given fruits. Apples and bananas. You get to share them. You have more apples than I do. I have more bananas than you. Then I start complaining about having less fruits than you have, saying I want equal number of apples with you. When someone asks about the part where I have more bananas, I shrug and say: "Well, she's the one that shared it like that."

True equality is not about having the same number of apples as you do, but having the same number of apples AND bananas.

Meanwhile, here are the two parts I was talking about:

#1
What matters is that feminism, distilled down to its absolute core, is about gender equity. The goal of feminism is to create a society in which individuals’ genders don’t restrict them from an equitable shot at success and happiness.

Most feminists actively disagree with the belief that women are better than men and think that feminists who are anti-men are going against the fundamental principles of feminism, which says we’re all deserving and worthy human beings – women, men, trans* - and should be treated as such.

feminism seems to be concerned about gender equality on the whole. But..

#4
The mixed feelings about addressing men’s issues tend to stem from the fact that “men’s issues” tends to be the default in our society. We’re a male dominant society.

Many feminists are concerned that addressing men’s issues (or gender issues as a broad goal) will move the conversation completely away from women’s issues, resulting in no progress for the women’s part of the gender progress.

men's issues are 'default' because it's a male dominant society How convenient.

How anyone can think there's nothing wrong with the above, baffles me.

As per special request, some pics from my tour of the calabar carnival some years back

Our women are beautiful and can be more so with better skincare (not toning oo).. i dislike that ish

Some quality ladies... i hear the quality blew out in more recent versions

But no more time... responsibilities and all

Dantedasz:


Please post more EYE candy I beg. It will at least lighten up this dreary thread.
In my own opinion girls at yhe annual Calabar festival will give these South American broads a run for their money. Any one ever heard of Calabar fattening rooms where girls are taught to be girls and proper wives to their husbands? They arr taught the rudiments of cooking and how to give pleasure to their husbands.

Some more

Last set
Now that is some eye candy...

^^^ oppression against women. Why is the guy's face covered and the girls' faces exposed?

Oahray: Read number 4 again. Lemme use an illustration...

It's like this. We are both given fruits. Apples and bananas. You get to share them. You have more apples than I do. I have more bananas than you. Then I start complaining about having less fruits than you have, saying I want equal number of apples with you. When someone asks about the part where I have more bananas, I shrug and say: "Well, she's the one that shared it like that."

True equality is not about having the same number of apples as you do, but having the same number of apples AND bananas.

Meanwhile, here are the two parts I was talking about:

feminism seems to be concerned about gender equality on the whole. But..

men's issues are 'default' because it's a male dominant society How convenient.

How can anyone can think there's nothing wrong with the above, baffles me.

It is a male dominant society. And no, that was/is never convenient, hence the reason there was a movement in the first place; to equalize the situation.

You're essentially asking for a crutch from someone who is trying to improve their situation in a society in which you are dominant!? And all this from someone who's clearly against that struggle.

Consider me baffled.

Actually, I think I'm done with this.

A good day to you all.

Oahray: ^^^ oppression against women. Why is the guy's face covered and the girls' faces exposed?

...
Oppression indeed.. im shy thats all

EnlightenedSoul:

It is a male dominant society. And no, that was/is never convenient, hence the reason there was a movement in the first place; to equalize the situation.

You're essentially asking for a crutch from someone who is trying to improve their situation in a society in which you are dominant!? And all this from someone who's clearly against that struggle.

Consider me baffled.

oh puleeeeez! The hypocrisy (and undisguised hate) of the struggle is what brings the opposition in the first place. Feminists emphasize bias against women, downplay bias against men (with the male-dominant society crap), and in the same breath mention EQUAL rights.

You think men would hate to see better conditions for their daughters, sisters, wives and mothers? If you do, I wonder the kind of men you grew up with.

Your previous post... There's no such logically correct thing as equal rights FOR WOMEN. Either it's equal for everyone or not. Feminists should just say they want an improvement for women and stop hiding behind the equality façade. They should also stop hating on men while at it.

Have a nice day.

Pick-a-boo-boo, let us see your face jor
worrisdat?

coogar:

Whatsup mate,how have you been?

aluta..im shy

alutacontinua: Pick-a-boo-boo, let us see your face jor
worrisdat?

pickabeau1: aluta..im shy

come on......
I won't laugh, I promise.

just for 10minutes

ok.. i will think about it...



Mama ID... i see u.. how your nails and shoe threads

fresh_dude: Mumu, so if I open and comment on your thread it's because you're irresistible? You need to get your brain sun-dried in Maiduguri, it's beginning to rot.

If I insult you it's beacuse you are a pseudo-intellectual trying to sound like an expert, but we all know you's a charlatan, appearing to champion a cause you know zilch about. Besides, we can't all be "policy-makers"an some of us are called to be "firefighters". Hehehe

What hatred, what battle? This dude is as happy as can be. I'm just anti-bullshiit, which incidentally is what you're all about. Your only contribution on this board is spamming it with stolen unreferenced-by-you articles and you say it has helped people? Well, Guru Maharaji also has apologists. Enjoy your delusion sweety, the end is near. And btw, happy saturday. Go and find something to cook or somewhere to mop or a wall to scrub. Don't let that 15 litres palmwine go to waste. This is the 21st century, it's all about real value.

Femz, stop it!

pickabeau1: ok.. i will think about it...



Mama ID... i see u.. how your nails and shoe threads

I don tire for the threads dem mehn....The thing no go gree catch correct maga na so so jambite dey pm mama ayaf tire mehn

LOL..

it is well

How is the family and work

Idowuogbo:
I don tire for the threads dem mehn....The thing no go gree catch correct maga na so so jambite dey pm mama ayaf tire mehn

Oahray: oh puleeeeez! The hypocrisy (and undisguised hate) of the struggle is what brings the opposition in the first place. Feminists emphasize bias against women, downplay bias against men (with the male-dominant society crap), and in the same breath mention EQUAL rights.

You think men would hate to see better conditions for their daughters, sisters, wives and mothers? If you do, I wonder the kind of men you grew up with.

Your previous post... There's no such logically correct thing as equal rights FOR WOMEN. Either it's equal for everyone or not. Feminists should just say they want an improvement for women and stop hiding behind the equality façade. They should also stop hating on men while at it.

Have a nice day.

Unbelievable! Again feminism isn't misandry. I am honestly tired of repeating myself on that note. Please, if you want to discuss man-hate, go find a misandrist to engage you.

Furthermore, the fact that you comfortably bring up men's issues, and yet act as if the oppression of women and their inequality isn't a rampant phenomenon makes this exchange quite pointless. At least I am not offhandedly dismissing your importance, and the existence of men's issues! You also can't admit the simple fact that societies are male-dominant, which consequently makes it very hard to take you seriously.

You're missing the point...again. The reason it was coined "equal rights for women" was because THEY were the ones MISSING out on BASIC RIGHTS the MEN ENJOYED. This is a term from the movement era! If it were women who had had the upper hand, it would have been coined equal rights for men. Why is that so hard to understand?

You say "you think men would hate to see better conditions for *females etc...." AND yet you've been thoroughly denying the existing state of affairs. Oxymoron! Being in a state of denial isn't exactly an environment for change and "better conditions", so you tell me.

And please, stop wondering. This is not about our personal home-lives, my male family members, relatives, friends etc. You don't see me asking/wondering how you must treat your female family members. That is not my business.

When a discussion is going absolutely nowhere, it's best to leave with our respective opinions.

A nice day to you too.

pickabeau1: Some more

@pickabeau,
This your pictures na old school joor.
We need the hot and steamy eye candy from last years carnival.
And why you dey cover your face and expose the eye candy own? This is discrimination and inequality against our women. By the way why are the eye candy in skimpy clothes while you are fully dressed? This is what our paper weight feminists should be fighting against and I am with them 100%. This is discrimination in the (work)play place.

Why eye candy go dey expose her assets and biolabee go dey fully dressed?
Above all he come cover him face and expose the eye candy own.
United Nations organisation on discrimination on endangered species like females must hear this case oooo!

Oga no vex... our paper feministas are only tigers online but u know d drill
I only posted from my own archives
Na Rio be my next target

Let me get some more recent pics

More here.... https://www.nairaland.com/1143329/carnival-calabar-2012-post-pictures
https://www.nairaland.com/1567323/calabar-carnival-2013-live
You can also make it a date for this years version
MBOK!


www.nairaland.com/attachments/928859__Roxy20brown___jpg0c386a19ed105cdc6dd90527da2c2d7c

www.nairaland.com/attachments/928947_Calabar20Fest_jpg97a92e6ad13e04332a85ed3e50955768

www.nairaland.com/attachments/928963_gCalabar20Festival_jpg024df27bc8fc736217553a62aed13d3d

[img]https://www.nairaland.com/attachments/928609_SANDY20BABY_340_--20_wine_20_3_320EE9A82_gift_20_bday_203D-D20EE99A2EE99B1EE99B2EE99B3EE99B4EE99B7EE99A3EE99A1EE99927B7D_jpg0ea9a0bd5bbdf800342d0cf0a5983d5f[/img]

Dantedasz:


@pickabeau,
This your pictures na old school joor.
We need the hot and steamy eye candy from last years carnival.
And why you dey cover your face and expose the eye candy own? This is discrimination and inequality against our women. By the way why are the eye candy in skimpy clothes while you are fully dressed? This is what our paper wright feminists should be fighting against and I am with them 100%. This is discrimination in the (work)play place.

Now dats more like it men. I am begining to like this thread. Just hot and steamy as I like my women.
I bet none of these women is interested in discussing the merits or demerits of feminism.

Exactly


Ive not heard Amber Rose debate such ish or Giselle Bundschen talk about the uselessness of pageants that they turn women to sex symbols

they are attractive women and thrive on the adulation

carry gooooo