ameenahz: I understand deols. And i'll be honest, i feel the same way some times too. My only recompense is that the ultimate reward is in the hereafter, waiting for us all in shaa Allah. Whether our men 'behave' or not.

That is defeatist mentality. The only way to make sure such a thing does not happen is not be passive about it, but to be open about it and to speak out about it. There are good men willing to help your cause too. It would take both genders to put an end to such inequality and unjust treatment towards women.

deols:

It is unfair to dismiss these as a feminine thing. I cried this afternoon.

I have struggled with these thoughts for a long time. I am scared for my faith. I have prayed for it to stay strong. I av asked my people at itikaf to pray for me.

I learnt Islam all my life. Most of the people I grew up with were Muslims but Islam didnt do much in shaping their lives for good. All I saw were women who could have made it good in their own right being subjected to bullshiit in the name of being submissive and being 'good Muslimahs'. Unfortunately, there is always a hadith to back it up. Some men even smile after saying their women-unfriendly nonsenses.


I have more to talk about o. You just be my guest please. I hope to find my bearing, again.

@ deols,I undastnd ow u feel & ther r tyms I also feel dt way buh may Allah just strenghten us in iman...

Wa alaykum. Deols- Seems like you are judging a religion based on the actions of SOME adherents of the religion. This is not to discard your fears and thoughts as worthless and unworthy of debate though.


I think the previous comments have at least cleared the air and raised counter responses to your positions. I wouldn't want to go back and bring new evidences of thoughts. I would just try and buttress some points.

First... As regards the age of marriage issues. You are a scientist and you would well attest to the fact that body anatomy, environmental factors and many things have changed in comparison to what was obtainable 200 years ago not to talk of more than 1400years back.

http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/health/wellness/story/2011/04/girls-hit-puberty-earlier-than-ever-and-doctors-arent-sure-why/45989054/1

That link would give you a better perspective. Just scan through.

Here's another excerpt from another link which shows that maturity rates have always been changing. So we can actually agree a girl at 9 as at then may have attained puberty and would have been able to carry her offsprings to term without any complications then based on the peculiar characteristics of that era but that does not necessitate that we follow suite and start marrying 9 year olds. That's why religion without science or common sense is useless and disastrous.

We all know a girl of say 15 would definitely have a grave risks of developing problems during childbirth now let alone someone who's 9. That's where the common sense comes in. In islam, there's no where it was stated that you could marry a girl at a specific age. It clearly states when she's mature. That word "mature" in this context carries a lot of meaning. Is she able to have sex and deliver a baby without any complications due to her age? Is she fit to nurture the kid? Etc...


Here's the excerpt.

Emeritus Professor Norbert Kluge of the Universität Koblenz-Landauwrote in the Internet publication "Beiträge zur Sexualwissenschaft und Sexualpädagogik
" that girls in 1992 had their first period on average at 12.2 years old and in 2010 will have it around 10 or 11 years of age.

Researchers noted the trend 140 years ago. In 1860 the average menarche happened at 16.6 years, in 1920 at 14.6, in1950 at 13.1 and 1980, 12.5 years.

Kluge (by the way, klug means smart in German) attributed the early maturation mostly to obesity
caused by fast food. Lack of fat can also stop menstruation, which is what happens with anorexia.

I will be back with more comments.

deols:

Read my first post. The Quran/ Islam and sunnah are for yesterday, today and tomorrow.

If we apply what u said about moving with time, then most aspects of Islam will not go well with this time. We might as wellbstop using the hijab and call it achaic while taking up the more 'modern' dress sense.

So I dont think we can excuse the marriage to minors as an 8th century thing. If the best examples are from the prophet, then the people marrying minors are doing what is expected of them- following the footsteps of the prophet.

no i wasnt excusing it. i was explaining how it wasnt frowned upon or a bad thing, it was a general thing, unlike now that we frown on it.

Onegig explained my point better.

deols:

I am talking of the kind of Muslim men I know. They would have stayed with those one wives.

Even the good Christian men av been able to stick to a woman.

It is not compulsory. same kind of muslim men you know are the ones who dont marry more than 1.

deols:

Look at people who married minors. They did it just as the prophet did but there are bad consequences. I am not actually only talking of people who did it wrong and is Y i keep giving examples with what happened with the prophet's wives.

Now imagine that your husband has two of you and the other one is his Aisha, the one whose laps he prefers


Salam onegig

if your husband is no "prophet" why stay, and you do not want it why stay?. we women have a choice.

Babe,dis ur catharsis was bound to happen soon or later. I understand you perfectly.A lot of people hav dis tots too but i told you how i manage mine.you will come out stronger when dis phase is over.while you raise ur questions,Pray ardently and keep good company.
Concernin my hubby havin an aisha,it depends.if he is as noble as d prophet himself i wont mind.But if he is d average joe we hav around dt cant even manage one wife i'll simply excuse them.

Onegig, I am not using the action of a few. I am telling u of how the practical ways of these things don't favour the women involved.

Sissie, the prophet did not say that his marriage to minors was a thing pf his century. Any good Muslim is expected to follow the prophet's way of life including how he ate, took his bathe and his marital relationship. Dont tell me u are unaware of that. People like Yerima seem like the perfect ones, with beard, short trousers, up-to four wives and their own Aishas.

@ameenahz and aalymah, since u av similar thoughts, dont u think that there is some need for a way out for us?

if your husband is no "prophet" why stay, and you do not want it why stay?. we women have a choice.

The same thing she's complaining about. It's more easier for the men. Like the laws give them the leeway to misbehave. Why would it be a woman's choice to divorce? Why not compel the man to stick to one wife alone. Why give him options when she has none and has to endure such. She can choose to stay or leave i.e divorce.

Is divorce for the lady an equal and justifiable comparison with what the man gets?

He gets a new bride and continues life as if nothing happened while we all know how hard it is for a divorcee(the woman) to remarry and continue her life without hitch coupled with the social stigmatisation associated with such.

Thus ruining her life if she leaves and still ruining her life and making her pass through hell if she chooses to stay.

Islam preaches a just system but do you think this is just?


This i think is the issue she has and truth is i share most of this. The concept of justice as regards both genders.

Sissie:

if your husband is no "prophet" why stay, and you do not want it why stay?. we women have a choice.

Seriously dear? If u dont stay with a good Muslim man, who is simply practicing Islam the way the prophet did, who should you stay with.

ameenahz: I understand deols. And i'll be honest, i feel the same way some times too. My only recompense is that the ultimate reward is in the hereafter, waiting for us all in shaa Allah. Whether our men 'behave' or not.

Wallahi I was very young when I learnt of the numerous virgins for men in jannah. But by then, I already detested polygyny and when the ustadh described how the women of the earth would be in a better state than the houris, I thought to myself that 'I didnt want a polygyny on earth, why would I want it in aljannah'.

A lady even said that maybe God would make us all men and we would then all get the houris. But no. The prophet didnt say that. It is explained that the Men would get the houris and we would have the same men we had on earth. Doesnt seem endearing.

onegig: The same thing she's complaining about. It's more easier for the men. Like the laws give them the leeway to misbehave. Why would it be a woman's choice to divorce? Why not compel the man to stick to one wife alone. Why give him options when she has none and has to endure such. She can choose to stay or leave i.e divorce.

Is divorce for the lady an equal and justifiable comparison with what the man gets?
He gets a new bride and continues life as if nothing happened while we all know how hard it is for a divorcee(the woman) to remarry and continue her life without hitch coupled with the social stigmatisation associated with such? Thus ruining her life if she leaves and still ruining her life and making her pass through hell if she chooses to stay.

Islam preaches a just system but do you think this is just?


This i think is the issue she has and truth is i share most of this. The concept of justice as regards both genders.

Highly intelligent

I will address the issue raised soon , in sha Allah.

^^ please do.

How could you say this " People like Yerima seem like the perfect ones, with beard, short trousers, up-to four wives and their own Aishas".
> Was this particular part of Prophet Mohammed (SAW) the highlight of his life? We say we are muslims but we are judging the deen by the action of a few who use the book to fulfil their own desires.
>
> Did Yerima marry a widow, older than him, as his first wife? The answer is "NO". Therefore, the bolded is quite unfortunate.
>
> Allah did not tell the muslim man to marry four wives. It is not an injunction but it is also allowed. The Book covers for times of peace and times of war. We have all struggled with our deen every now and then but May Allah ease our paths and expand our understanding.
>
> I have seen polygamous homes that one could describe as perfect and monogamous ones that are a horror show and vice versa. The people practicing either would be a major factor in the success or otherwise of any marriage.
>

deols:
Onegig, I am not using the
action of a few. I am telling u
of how the practical ways of
these things don't favour the
women involved.

Ok i understand but i came to that conclusion seeing you recurring comments and the use of some certain personalities as your focal point. The major practical reality may be different from what the manual maybe preaching. That's why we need to go back to the basis and look at what the Holy book says. Yerima and his co travelers are not representative of what islam says. Infact in an ideal islamic environment he should be behind bars by now for defiling a minor. There's no justification for what they say. A 14 year old oyinbo girl would have grown and you would think she's an adult already that does not mean i can go to my village and pick a 14 year old and say she's an adult also. Body anatomy, food composition, environment, race and many things influence how mature a woman is.

There can never be any justification for their behaviors.

onegig: The same thing she's complaining about. It's more easier for the men. Like the laws give them the leeway to misbehave. Why would it be a woman's choice to divorce? Why not compel the man to stick to one wife alone. Why give him options when she has none and has to endure such. She can choose to stay or leave i.e divorce.

Is divorce for the lady an equal and justifiable comparison with what the man gets?

He gets a new bride and continues life as if nothing happened while we all know how hard it is for a divorcee(the woman) to remarry and continue her life without hitch coupled with the social stigmatisation associated with such.

Thus ruining her life if she leaves and still ruining her life and making her pass through hell if she chooses to stay.

Islam preaches a just system but do you think this is just?


This i think is the issue she has and truth is i share most of this. The concept of justice as regards both genders.

I know most would come here to say we can't determine what is just . That it's only God that can determine that. I say that's BS. God gave us the freewill to determine what's right and what's wrong and through his Books he has given us a perfect template of what is just and not just.

Not all women hate polygyny, some women prefer it, some are indifferent, yes we can say women are but we both can agree women who are interested in matriarchy are few they are the exception not the norm, its a patriarchy world we live in.
And its possible to compel your husband to stick to you, thats why its allowed for a woman to have a prenup insisting the man must not marry another wife, or marry someone who is strictly monogamous and leave polygyny for women and men who are interested in it.

@bolded ideally in islam divorcees should not be stigmatized thats brought about by the society. in the north stigmatization of divorcees is lesser than in the south, its a cultural/societal thing.
this example you gave isnt peculiar to polygyny. A monogamist meets another woman and decides to leave his wife to marry the new woman, is the 1st wife's life ruined? can we compel him to stay with her?
so a divorcees life isnt ruined. i know women who are divorcees and their lives are not ruined.

ayinba1: How could you say this " People like Yerima seem like the perfect ones, with beard, short trousers, up-to four wives and their own Aishas".
> Was this particular part of Prophet Mohammed (SAW) the highlight of his life? We say we are muslims but we are judging the deen by the action of a few who use the book to fulfil their own desires.
>
> Did Yerima marry a widow, older than him, as his first wife? The answer is "NO". Therefore, the bolded is quite unfortunate.
>
> Allah did not tell the muslim man to marry four wives. It is not an injunction but it is also allowed. The Book covers for times of peace and times of war. We have all struggled with our deen every now and then but May Allah ease our paths and expand our understanding.
>
> I have seen polygamous homes that one could describe as perfect and monogamous ones that are a horror show and vice versa. The people practicing either would be a major factor in the success or otherwise of any marriage.
>

i couldnt agree more

Fulaman198:

That is defeatist mentality. The only way to make sure such a thing does not happen is not be passive about it, but to be open about it and to speak out about it. There are good men willing to help your cause too. It would take both genders to put an end to such inequality and unjust treatment towards women.

I'm just being realistic here. My recompense is with Allah. Let Him 'share' it as He pleases.

Which few men? The men who already think women are 2nd class citizens of the earth? African family system isnt even helping matters.

ameenahz:

I'm just being realistic here. My recompense is with Allah. Let Him 'share' it as He pleases.

Which few men? The men who already think women are 2nd class citizens of the earth? African family system isnt even helping matters.

I know that most men are jerks and think the world belongs to them, but not all men are this way. The world is ruled by bad men, because the good men and women let the bad men control everything in the world today. Good people were passive and allowed all the bad things that happen in the world to happen today.

If good people want to change the world to be a better place, they all need to come together and make it happen instead of wallowing in defeat. Wherever there is a will, there is also a way.

Also notice how I never call Allah 'him' or 'he' that is because Allah (God) is not human but divine. Who says that Allah is male.

deols:

Wallahi I was very young when I learnt of the numerous virgins for men in jannah. But by then, I already detested polygyny and when the ustadh described how the women of the earth would be in a better state than the houris, I thought to myself that 'I didnt want a polygyny on earth, why would I want it in aljannah'.

A lady even said that maybe God would make us all men and we would then all get the houris. But no. The prophet didnt say that. It is explained that the Men would get the houris and we would have the same men we had on earth. Doesnt seem endearing.

From Marriage to inheritance, nothing seems to favour women. I once asked my teacher about houris. After ages of merry-go-round-ing, he concluded by saying i should be satisfied to be the queen of whatever number of women my husband chooses in Jannah. I was like seriously? Let's just leave that side.

I may sound like a defeated woman, but really, what do we do anyway? Let's just pray for a settled spirit, a pure heart and a happy home and the ultimate reward (whether we get 'houris' or not, at least we get the peace and pleasure we deserve after the struggles of this dunya). Whenever all these thoughts creep up, i do some nawafil and i say this prayer:

Ya muqolibal qulub, thabit qalbi alaa deenik (oh Changer of hearts, steady my heart in your religion).

Rabbana aatina fi duniya hasana, wa fil akhirati hasana wa kina adhaaba naar(My lord, grant me the good things of this world and the good things of the hereafter and save me from the punishment of hell)

It really doesnt help for one's thought to be going this way. Please put your hope and trust in Allah. He is The Just.

Fulaman198:

I know that most men are jerks and think the world belongs to them, but not all men are this way. The world is ruled by bad men, because the good men and women let the bad men control everything in the world today. Good people were passive and allowed all the bad things that happen in the world to happen today.

If good people want to change the world to be a better place, they all need to come together and make it happen instead of wallowing in defeat. Wherever there is a will, there is also a way.

Also notice how I never call Allah 'him' or 'he' that is because Allah (God) is not human but divine. Who says that Allah is male.

i'm not wallowing in defeat. Where is the defeat when there was no war in d 1st place. This isnt really something any1 can fight. God is just. My human brain may not understand many things, but He has a reason for everything.

Well, since Allah doesnt have a gender, let us just use He. It is just a pronoun na. This doesnt count as oppression to me.

Not all women hate polygyny, some women prefer it, some are indifferent, yes we can say women are but we both can agree women who are interested in matriarchy are few they are the exception not the norm, its a patriarchy world we live in.
And its possible to compel your husband to stick to you, thats why its allowed for a woman to have a prenup insisting the man must not marry another wife, or marry someone who is strictly monogamous and leave polygyny for women and men who are interested in it.

How did you come about a man who's strictly monogamous? No one knows tomorrow. What happens if he decides to marry a second wife later even after signing the pre nup? Won't it eventually lead to divorce?

People have free will to do whatever they like. You can't sign an agreement and expect a man to remain with you forever as long as divorce is halal to him. Which brings us back to square one. She ends up being divorced.

@bolded ideally in islam divorcees should not be stigmatized thats brought about by the society. in the north stigmatization of divorcees is lesser than in the south, its a cultural/societal thing.
this example you gave isnt peculiar to polygyny. A monogamist meets another woman and decides to leave his wife to marry the new woman, is the 1st wife's life ruined? can we compel him to stay with her?
so a divorcees life isnt ruined. i know women who are divorcees and their lives are not ruined.

Divorce is not something that is that easy even in the most ideal situations. It leaves most times an irredeemable scar on both partners. You have the extra baggages that comes with it.

When i said ruined, i didn't mean they can't function again or lead happy lives but seriously it's more like starting your live afresh but this time with big constraints from the past especially when kids are involved. Also how are we sure she would get married to another man?

From experience, most women (around 80 per cent) who are divorced end up being bitter about men and never remarry which is something Islam frowns at. So how do we sort out this issue?


It is simple. It's the male that need some straightening to do. It all boils down to where the rule came from. A careful and critical look at what that verse on polygamy says would show clearly that the general interpretation by most people is very very wrong. There's also a HUGE CLAUSE on it which says "if you can be just". No sane man would go into polygamy because of his lustful desires if he has the deeper understanding of what that clause means.

But go and listen to many alfas. They would tell you, if you marry an orobo and you feel like you want a lepa later you can always just decide to do it which is clearly in antagonism with what the verse means. I personally see no justification for a man to say he wants to marry another wife based on "taste".

Edited.

^ what guarantees a monogamy wont end in divorce either.

you didnt answer me, what about a monogamist who meets another woman and decides to divorce his wife to marry her, do we compel? and say he must stay in the marriage? or it still ends in divorce?

we keep portraying women as victims while i agree in most cases thats the situation. it takes 3,4 or 5 to tangle in this, it takes a woman to agree to marry a man who already has a wife, the men are marrying women not men, and the women are accepting. if polygyny is completely bad why are the women agreeing?

like i said there are different reasons why men and women chose polygyny and taste is just one.

On Polygyny

Firstly, this issue is always based on lack of proper understanding of what Islam really teaches, people only look at these issues based on a very myopic perspective, we don't always see the big picture.

This goes for the men who think yeah! It is permissible, and for the women who think this is so unjust. i'm going to dwell more on the male cos they've been missing the point for a long time now.

one thing we must understand is that, there are some issues that the society plays a huge role in what is prevalent, and Islam, did not come to destroy peoples culture, but rather, Islam came to address the true worship of the creator, as well as reforming the society, thus, anything which does not negate tawheed and not explicitly prohibited by Allah in a culture, is not haram.

Arabs, as well as many other cultures, were polygamous, it was the norm, there were genuine reasons and there were non-genuine reasons also. Men were known to marry up to ten women and even more and treating them badly, Islam came to put a restriction and conditions to marry more wives.

As already stated, the issue of marrying more than one wife, is not obligatory, it is only permissible, the verse of the Qur’an which talked about this permissibility, was also talking about orphans, and not usurping their wealth. The tafsir of this ayah discuss many difference of opinion in regards to the reason for the revelation of this verse, and notable of them is the one by Aisha (ra). She said this verse was revealed in regards to a man who had female orphan under his care, he became fascinated by her wealth and beauty, and wanted to marry her without doing justice in terms of the mahr, so the verse prevented such a nikkah, and instead of that, the man should give what is expected or stead, marry someone else.

Most men do not know the gravity of taken a single wife and being unjust to her; talk more of marrying more than one. Allah placed being just to an orphan (in terms of their wealth and wellbeing), and being just to your wives in the same category, this means the gravity of sin(in case of injustice) is the same, and what we know as punishment of the injustice to orphans is hellfire.

According to Maliki school of thought (which I believe is the Nigeria’s prominent madhhab?), being just to your wives is explained in terms of spending and security, and this is based on the status or condition of each wife, if she is from a rich family, then you must be just in that respect and also in terms of other needs. This justice is a condition which is wajib (obligatory), and one found not being just is considered a zaalim who cannot be given the position of Imam or accepted as a witness. If he denies the fact that being just is wajib, then he has three days to repent or else he becomes a kaafir.

I look at these conditions, and seriously, it is beyond intimate gratification, the permissibility, is not in any way favourable to the man, the men who think such still have a long way to go.

I have never come across a hadith that the Prophet encouraged his companions to take a second wife, and indeed, among the companions, we have those who married only 1 such as Ali and Abu hurayrah.

Alhamdulilah,

I hope I can help us put things in proper contexts and maybe clarify some issues. I would also advise that we are cautious with our words, in sha Allah. I cringe at some statements. That was why I wanted a private conversation. May Allah protect us.

I would start with confused issues, failures of muslim communities and failures of muslim individuals.

Islam is a complete system of life with nothing missing. The social laws in Islam is one of the areas, I enjoyed the most because it is so beautiful.

I will start with a quote from onegig

onegig:

Is divorce for the lady an equal and justifiable comparison with what the man gets?

He gets a new bride and continues life as if nothing happened while we all know how hard it is for a divorcee(the woman) to remarry and continue her life without hitch coupled with the social stigmatisation associated with such.

The above is essentially a failure of the muslim community. Women got divorced all the time during the time of the prophet and never lacked suitors at all. Allah commanded us to get the single married amongst us, This also means, the muslim community has to create an enabling environment for widows and divorcees , both male and female to get married.

Marry off the single among you and those of your male and female slaves who are fit [for marriage]. If they are poor, God will provide for them from His bounty: God’s bounty is infinite and He is all knowing. Surah 24:32

If there is a stigma amongst muslims getting married, then we should be looking within. We should be dismantling the stigma, the messenger married widows and divorcees, the best of muslims did..

We disobey Allah by creating stigma and then blame him for the difficulties.

If any widow or divorcee of the muslims suffers, we all share a collective blame. Allah will question us for our community failures.

When Allah talks about divorce, he specifically makes a statement that really hits home for me

........ Do not make a mockery of God’s revelations...... ; (Surah 2:231)

We abuse the laws and permissions of Allah and blame Allah. SubhanAllah. Even hadiths are taken out of context to justify abuse. That is why, like I have always said, we need more female scholars in the Ummah.

Islam preaches a just system, the question is are we living by Islam.

@sino I couldn't agree more.

If men knew the full consequences of not practicing polygyny proper, they would run away from it and don't practice it.

^ what guarantees a monogamy wont end in divorce either.

you didnt answer me, what about a monogamist who meets another woman and decides to divorce his wife to marry her, do we compel? and say he must stay in the marriage? or it still ends in divorce?

we keep portraying women as victims while i agree in most cases thats the situation. it takes 3,4 or 5 to tangle in this, it takes a woman to agree to marry a man who already has a wife, the men are marrying women not men, and the women are accepting. if polygyny is completely bad why are the women agreeing?

like i said there are different reasons why men and women chose polygyny and taste is just one.

Not saying polygyny is bad. I would never ascribe to that. I believe people are free to choose whatever they want and in some circumstances it is a good thing.

What i just don't like and believe is the actions and wrongful justification of MOST of those who indulge and hide behind it give.



@tbaba
True. The community is partly to blame for the stigma but we all know we don't truly have a muslim community. Everyone lives in their yards now and most people are very mobile. So how do we solve such issues given the terrain?

Edited!!

ameenahz:

From Marriage to inheritance, nothing seems to favour women. I once asked my teacher about houris. After ages of merry-go-round-ing, he concluded by saying i should be satisfied to be the queen of whatever number of women my husband chooses in Jannah. I was like seriously? Let's just leave that side.

I may sound like a defeated woman, but really, what do we do anyway? Let's just pray for a settled spirit, a pure heart and a happy home and the ultimate reward (whether we get 'houris' or not, at least we get the peace and pleasure we deserve after the struggles of this dunya). Whenever all these thoughts creep up, i do some nawafil and i say this prayer:

Ya muqolibal qulub, thabit qalbi alaa deenik (oh Changer of hearts, steady my heart in your religion).

Rabbana aatina fi duniya hasana, wa fil akhirati hasana wa kina adhaaba naar(My lord, grant me the good things of this world and the good things of the hereafter and save me from the punishment of hell)

It really doesnt help for one's thought to be going this way. Please put your hope and trust in Allah. He is The Just.

May Allah reward u abundantly 4ds..truly some tins r byond our reasonin as women and its BEST 2leave dem 4Allah cos HE alone knws d reason(s) 4makin dem dt way...one tin I knw is dt Allah is Just!

Aisha's (RA) wedding

Islam is the only religion that makes maturity a requirement for the consummation of marriage. Quran 24:59 Quran 4:6 makes it clear that they have to be of marriageable age.

What constitutes a marriageable age differs, even up today. The marriage age in New Hampshire is 13, New York 14, and South Carolina 15.

Montesquieu, the French Philosopher whose works heavily influenced the Founding Fathers of the American Constitution said this:

Women were marriageable in hot climates at eight, nine or ten years of age; thus, childhoof and marriage almost always go together. They are old at 20, thus reason with women is never found with beauty there.... Therefore when reason does not oppose it, it is very simple there for a man to leave his wife and take another and for polygamy to be introduced. Book 16 Montesquieu, The spirit of laws, pg 264-265

http://books.google.com.au/books?output=html_text&id=-3OssKQ_bSoC&q=265


He makes it clear that women were marriageable at these ages in hot climate. They were more mature at those ages such that they were marriageable.

People mature and develop differently. And it is not as if they had high school and university to look up too. When a lady is deemed marriageable (usually after menstruation), she was married.

Also let us put this in a proper context, the prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was insulted and abused for centuries. The issue of Aisha's marriage only became an issue in 1905. In the last 1800s, the official marriage age in Britain was 7.

This is because it was an absolute norm in the Muslim world and in the west. The women matured faster and they lived tougher lives so there is really no basis for comparison.

We should be getting married to widows and divorcees, that is the real sunnah. The age of Aisha is not a sunnah as she was viewed as a grown woman in her society.

Aisha's youth ensured that she was an asset to the Ummah for a very long time. She was the teacher of caliphs and leaders of this ummah and transmitted one of the highest number of narrations.

Her benefit to the Ummah is immeasurable. Without Aisha, how much would we know?

Abu Musa al-Ashari says: "Never had we (the companions) any difficulty for the solution of which we approached Aisha and did not get some useful information from her". (Tirmidhi, Hadith 3883. Albani classified it as Sahih)

This shows the Divine Wisdom for it was not the Prophet himself but Allah that ordained this marriage. She herself reports;

Allah's Messenger (PBUH) said to me, ‘You were shown to me twice (in my dream) before I married you. I saw an angel carrying you in a silken piece of cloth, and I said to him, 'Uncover (her),' and behold, it was you.’ (Bukhari, Hadith 6495)


May Allah give us wisdom

As salaam alaykum Dearest believers,
Firstly@ Deols, Read this verse: O ye who believe, seek Allah's help in PATIENCE AND SALAT. THIS WILL SURELY BE HARD EXCEPT ON THE ONE WHO TRULY FEARS ALLAAH.
Sister Deols, the help u sought is not here. BE PATIENT AT THIS TIME OF YOURS AND SEEK ALLAH'S HELP AGAINST
THE SHAITAN.

Too many questions will only herald in more confusions and will open more doors of doubts. The previous Nations were destroyed by this.

They actually justified it thinking they were seeking guidance, but that was a path-of-no-return.

I ve read through most post trying to rationalise so many issues. It has even taken a dangerous dimension where some utterances are capable of taking someone outside the pale of Islam. THIS IS DANGEROUS!!!

From the Evil of Polygamy to the Jealousy of Aisha , and to the injustices of given VVF to the girl child and to the preference of monogamy in Jannah and questioning whether Allaah is a male or female, all these efforts at rational explanations like we are doing back and forth will only lead us farther from the truth. THE TRUTH IS - "ALLAAH KNOWS, AND WE DO NOT KNOW". Islam is not irrational but Islam is not based on rationale.

The Shaitan beleievd in Allaah and yet his " big brain" cannot comprehend a "simple matter", and so he fell.

Lastly@ Deols, u might have a noble intention but lack thecapability to control the mindset of a man who will use this medium to bring to fore his annoyances against his Creator and His injunctions. Watch it, lest people will see in you a bad precedence.

" If you ask them (about this), they declare: "We were only talking idly and joking." Say: "Was it at Allah, and His Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) and His Messenger (SAW) that you were mocking?"

Make no excuse; you have disbelieved after you had believed. If We pardon some of you, We will punish others amongst you because they were Mujrimun (disbelievers, polytheists, sinners, criminals, etc.). QURAN 9 :65-66.r

Sino has talked about Polygyny, there is really nothing to add.. It scares me to bits to go into polygyny because the requirement of justice is very difficult and Allah makes it clear, if you can't maintain justice then only one