OP
It is not right for one to hit the other. But in your case, I always suggest your reaction. When one person starts to act like an animal, sometimes you have to come to their level. Most abuser's if they are not psychotic, learn from experience. Many women who have been abused for years have it stop when they fight back. A lot of abuser's, male or female are bully's. A bully will back down when defeated. Though they may settle for taunts or generally just hide in shame after such incident

EnlightenedSoul:

So by the same token, I assume you accept her response to his slap?

An eye for an eye makes even .

EnlightenedSoul:

Why do people drag feminists into everything lmao.
There you go changing the story to suit you.

i didn't change any story, i earlier bought her story hook, line and sinker, but i am having a rethink after her comment about 'women don't hit as hard as men'.

I know i am not sensible, but h little brain i have tells me there's every possibility she hit him first, I'm only been real here

beeevan:



An eye for an eye makes even .

Nah, a slap from me could hardly be called justice. If at all, I'd rather it come from someone a little more his speed

God forbid.

shizzleStar:
Trust me i do not want to see the guy as an abuser/violent.

Me too.

@bolded, if i am to believe the deliberate ish, so now that he has seen her reaction(retaliation) and is the one begging to keep her, that means he is not only truly sorry but has equally seen that she is not one to just sit back and digest the slaps, but will rather fight and hit back, that means he cant have it all his way.

I dont believe he has her where he wants since he didn't get away with the slap, so next time before he even contemplates giving a slap, he will think twice, but i truly want to believe there wont be a second slap. I also disagree she is dancing to his tune, cos if she is, I'm not sure there will be an argument in the first place, even if there's an argument, she wouldn't be sturbon not to get up from the chair, i insist, she overreacted by her refusal.

I wish it were that easy. Domestic violence goes way deeper...

What Causes Domestic Violence?
By TOBY D. GOLDSMITH, MD

Domestic violence may start when one partner feels the need to control and dominate the other. Abusers may feel this need to control their partner because of low self-esteem, extreme jealousy, difficulties in regulating anger and other strong emotions, or when they feel inferior to the other partner in education and socioeconomic background. Some men with very traditional beliefs may think they have the right to control women, and that women aren’t equal to men.

This domination then takes the form of emotional, physical or sexual abuse. Studies suggest that violent behavior often is caused by an interaction of situational and individual factors. That means that abusers learn violent behavior from their family, people in their community and other cultural influences as they grow up. They may have seen violence often or they may have been victims themselves.
...
http://psychcentral.com/lib/what-causes-domestic-violence/000344

They both made regrettable mistakes, i insist they can kiss and make up like nothing happened. Now they both know one major weakness, they can work on and overcome it, they can still be happy together

Jessybarbie has the final say.

shizzleStar:
i didn't change any story, i earlier bought her story hook, line and sinker, but i am having a rethink after her comment about 'women don't hit as hard as men'.

I know i am not sensible, but h little brain i have tells me there's every possibility she hit him first, I'm only been real here

I did not hit him first.

crackhaus:
Stop calling it physical abuse, it's just one slap for brain reset.

Well, it seems like you're one of the cool-headed and respectful women out there....but please be real, some women deserve a slap or two.
You need to see the things some women say and do to their spouses with the mindset of 'I'm a woman and nothing will happen'.

Note:
She hasn't told us what insulting words were being exchanged though.. I can bet most of these words were spoken by her..

Lol, okay, now you're being sarcastic

...Or is this you being evasive, cuz you couldn't come up with any 'justifiable reasons' for domestic abuse

OP,
Learn to stop insulting when arguing. Though sometimes you can't help, but it's childish and makes you look like you lack control and can't express yourself. Some insults can make you look crazy too . There are so many ways to give polite yawa with no insults involved. Try to learn to pass on your point and just leave issues. Don't hold on to past hurts and use them for future fights if you have forgiven each other and moved on

jessybarbie:
Women do not hit hard as men...

Honey, this can be read in so many wrong ways...

Kindly clarify by answering the questions below.

1. Do you feel it is justifiable to hit a man without any provocation from him?
2. Do you feel it is justifiable to hit a man in self-defence?
3. Do you feel it is justifiable to hit a man first after provocation from him?

zeemoore:
Seriously, I do not understand you
Didn't she hit him back?

Why you?

shizzleStar:
now there is a problem here, theLORDreigns et al did you see this?

Yes, we saw it and we're working on it.

If i understand the op, it is right for a woman to hit first afterall 'women do not hit hard as men'. What do the feminist have to say about this. For all i care the op could even be a very violent person, in fact i am beginning to take her story with a pinch of salt. Trust me, its possible she hit him first but the guy retaliated by hitting harder, and then she runs here crying blue murder.

I may as well have been wasting my time on this thtead

Calm down, there's no need jumping to conclusions just yet.
Let's hear from the horse's mouth...

.

Looks like another super story plot

hooper24: I have being reading this tread since yesterday and it have opened my eyes to how wrong I am. PLEASE HELP ME BEG JESSYBARBIE TO FORGIVE ME. I won't try such again on any woman. I truly love her and will treat her like a queen that she is.

Hmmmmmm......you sef for no slap her na, haba

EnlightenedSoul:

Nah, a slap from me could hardly be called justice. If at all, I'd rather it come from someone a little more his speed

God forbid.

The reason every woman should own a pestle .

theLORDreigns:

Honey, this can be read in so many wrong ways...

Kindly clarify by answering the questions below.

1. Do you feel it is justifiable to hit a man without any provocation from him?
2. Do you feel it is justifiable to hit a man in self-defence?
3. Do you feel it is justifiable to hit a man first after provocation from him?

I do not feel any of my actions are right, I have my own faults too that's why I do not want to continue with him!

jessybarbie:
I do not feel any of my actions are right, I have my own faults too that's why I do not want to continue with him!

so move on!

.

.

Jessy I would give a second chance here if I were you.

jessybarbie:
I do not feel any of my actions are right, I have my own faults too that's why I do not want to continue with him!

That's all I needed to hear from you!

So go and sort out your issues with him...I'll upload some images to encourage you.

I was with the OP until she said "Women do not hit as hard as men."
Meaning you feel its okay to hit a man or push him and for him not to fight back.
That is not a mentality that will help you as a wife, as a colleague and as a friend. What you give is what you get regardless of gender.
I caught an ex cheating once and slapped him, he slapped me back relationship never recovered not because of the slap but because of the cheating, he kept apologising for the slap but I said ; No I slapped first even though I am totally anti violence but my temper got the best of me that day being that he had just left Abuja after a 4 day begging visit on the same issues where we had talked and talked and fought and made up over this then I had saw a text of him telling not one but two girls to wait for him he misses them he is on his way back. That is story for another day.

Story aside, let us be careful, empowerment for us does not mean we go around with the mentality that we can get away with things we forbid men to do.

As I said I am zero for violence but even I lost my temper that one day because of accumulated hurt and betrayal, you know him, if its a man who is in control of himself 99 percent of the time and lost it that day you know, if he is a man who is manipulative, vengeful and unforgiven you know you have a deranged abuser on your hands who is only manifesting but please remove your mind from the philosophy of "womens hands are softer" no one should go round slapping another Man or woman.

More...

hooper24:
@theLORDreigns I have read all you posted both the links. I am a human being o. Will I be condemned forever because of this awful wrong of mine? I can't hurt jessy! Am not that person.

Hahahahahahahaha

Jessybarbie, please come back here & clarify who this is..


Is this a joke?

beeevan: Jessy I would give a second chance here if I were you.

Same thing I would have done.


Well, I don't interfere much in people's relationship too much because when them go still settle at last we nor go dey there.

Dearest, don't just walk out but run especially because you slapped him back. Which I think was the best reaction to a foolish act. But once you pop you can't stop.

I am suprised you even stayed until it got to the slap. These things don't just happen overnight, at some point he raised his tone at you in a way that scared you, wiggled his finger at your face and that was the time to walk out.

Now take this relationship to two years later he will slap you, kick you and make sure you are down so that you do not fight back. He will always remember that you fight back and that is the danger.

Man hate it when women fight back, like you have seen
on the thread they do not want to be the guy that is
walloped by their woman. Its an ego killer.

.

jessybarbie: Before now, I have already made up my mind not to have anything to do with any man that lays his hand on me and he knows this. I have being dating him for two years now and just in the middle of a big quarrel two days ago he slapped me. I reacted immediately and hit him as much as I could but he did not retaliate but felt really bad and started begging me immediately to forgive him.

I have sworn to him that it is over between us. He is begging, pleading, crying, asking our friends to intercede and loads of other stuffs that I can not put down here just to have me at least forgive him and be his friend again but I have declined because I believe that this can happen again.

I want to know if there is a way that it can work again between us? We have gotten to a stage that we are more than just bf and gf. We had great plans for the future if things turns out well but this singular act have altered everything and we are both hurting.

Is there any way to remedy this relationship or is it truly over forever?

Sorry this is coming late..



















Congratz!

Story for the Gods

I guess the Op has had a fill of what advice she wanted.

Walk away since you have "sworn" never to stay with a man who lays his hand on you.

Fact is you might actually be doing the man a favour... two violent people under the same roof is a disaster waiting to happen.

Enjoy your freedom from the "abuser" boyfriend!!

Shikena!!

.

Elevation: Ms Jbarbie humans are of different types,some are aggressive hence get angered at the slightest provocation others are not easily angered now,what did u do or say to deserve that slap?

No matter what she did or not, no one deserve a slap from her partner.

Because of ordinary slap you want to leave your future husband?