bellong:

You can ask your question with decorum. Don't turn this thread to religious war. This is how it starts.

Be civil pls.

carefreewannabe: I have been following this thread from the beginning and it strikes me that the supporters of polygamy mention that polygamy IN THE PAST was a necessity to manage a family's farm but never mention that TODAY we have a serious problem with overpopulation that has and will continue to have serious and severe consequences.

Just wanted to add a new aspect to this discussion that I think is important.

tbaba1234:

My advice for persons interested in such marriages today is that they are welloff and comfortable.

It makes things easier.

I can not begrudge the choice of anyone who chooses such a union.

macof:

In other words Abraham shouldn't be a role model in christianity

It's either that or Christianity is hypocritical

tbaba1234:

Generalisation.

My dad is from a polygamous home and it was a good one.

Some women from polygamous homes remain best of friends even in old age.

It is not all gloom and doom.

tbaba1234:

A few months ago, a woman in a polygamous marriage was here, talking about how happy she was in her marriage.

That narrative did not go down well with some folks.

I posted a story earlier of a woman who was the second of three wives. She actually set out to look for a married man or a divorcee.

I have seen good examples of happy polygamous homes so I know, it is attainable.

I have also seen horrific tales of monogamous homes, so I understand it is not perfect.

macof:

It relates. The major reason why Africans today speak against polygamy is because of christianity, this is wat they are taught in church

But going by the examples laid by Bible characters Polygamy seems ok
So telling me Bible frowns at it is ridiculous

macof:

In other words Abraham shouldn't be a role model in christianity

It's either that or Christianity is hypocritical

tbaba1234:

A few months ago, a woman in a polygamous marriage was here, talking about how happy she was in her marriage.

That narrative did not go down well with some folks.

I posted a story earlier of a woman who was the second of three wives. She actually set out to look for a married man or a divorcee.

I have seen good examples of happy polygamous homes so I know, it is attainable.

I have also seen horrific tales of monogamous homes, so I understand it is not perfect.

TV01:
As obtains everywhere. Likewise for baby mamas. So what's your point? Does polygamy restrict multiple wives to the widowed or baby mamas? Do the vast majority of multiple wives have that status prior to marriage?

So a wife and children do not have immediate access to the husband. He is not constantly interacting with his spouse and children?
When jnr falls ill, the father may be busy elsewhere? Or at critical periods in a wife or childs life, he will not be able to devote his full attention to them. Another flaw of polygamy

Best ask OP.

But it's certain that most multiple wives are not due to being widows, baby mamas or older singles

I'm not denying it as a choice, I'm not even parsing it morally, merely showing that structurally polygamy is flawed.


I can think of a number of reasons. Why not invite them to say? I'd say some are are due to the reasons you mentioned, but many out of greed or desperation. And why do you assume women in polygamy prefer polygamy? It's probably needs and situation driven. And please poll 1st wives and ask them if they prefer polygamy. I'd wager that even those 1st wives who accept it, would not prefer it.


TV

Shirley07:
The fact that your dad never practised is another confirmation.

macof:

It relates. The major reason why Africans today speak against polygamy is because of christianity, this is wat they are taught in church

macof:

It relates. The major reason why Africans today speak against polygamy is because of christianity, this is wat they are taught in church

But going by the examples laid by Bible characters Polygamy seems ok
So telling me Bible frowns at it is ridiculous

bukatyne:

You do not grasp what most posters are saying.

Every 2nd, 3rd etc. wives are no reason to complain (except in cases of child brides); the only person short changed is the first wife and this thread was opened by one in pain. Read through her posts and tell me your cannot feel the pain she is going through

Interview first wives around and let us hear what they have to say

AmunRaOlodumare:
It's true that some people nowadays speak against polygamy because of christianity. But even traditional religions are allowed to change with time, always in continuity and respect with the past, their ancestors and their spiritual belief. For example, at one time, there was no metal/iron work then there was and the Ogun deity was related to it. So traditional religions allow changed within it as long as it is done in continuity with the past. Polygamy was more adapted to people which had a much higher death rates for men than women, like in the past, or when a married woman lost her husband so she could become the wife of one of his brother (social protection) or for hereditary kings who needed to have many children to insure the succession. At least, that's my current opinion, who may always change.

macof:

It relates. The major reason why Africans today speak against polygamy is because of christianity, this is wat they are taught in church

But going by the examples laid by Bible characters Polygamy seems ok
So telling me Bible frowns at it is ridiculous

tbaba1234:

No, it isn't.. It is choice.

His choice was not based on an unhappy polygamous experience. That is for sure.

aderonila18: Why is that we tell Gay people that it's wrong Biblically because God gave Adam a wife and not a husband but with polygamy some people forget that God gave Adam only one wife and not 2, 3, 4......

edwife:

And yet the same bible tells us that divorce is a sin,but people divorce up and down everyday even pastors.

Remarrying is a sin,yet divorced people remarry in church by pastors.I am a christian and i really don't like the way christians think sometimes,

we judge and criticize so much.

No one is perfect.

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

carefreewannabe:

Because people forget this part and I am also guilty.

edwife:

And yet the same bible tells us that divorce is a sin,but people divorce up and down everyday even pastors.

Remarrying is a sin,yet divorced people remarry in church by pastors.I am a christian and i really don't like the way christians think sometimes,

we judge and criticize so much.

No one is perfect.

edwife:


Thank you very much for being honest,all i read here is judgement and nothing more.I am very disappointment by the way this thread turned

out.

tintingz:
Some men marry multiple wives to avoid adultery, some men have abuse the main purpose of polygamy.

My father didn't allow his wives to live under same roof and it worked fine, my mum was the one that took care the two sons of my step mum.

We are in jet age, a call on phone will do if any emergency is needed.



So why do we see women agree to be a man second, third wife?

I have asked this question earlier.

some first wife are the one to bring up the idea of having a second wife in the family, In the old days they do a lot.

Let's discuss about poll second, third wives, why do they prefer polygamy?

carefreewannabe:

Because people forget this part and I am also guilty.

aderonila18:

It relates. The major reason why Africans today speak against polygamy is because of christianity, this is wat they are taught in church

But going by the examples laid by Bible characters Polygamy seems ok
So telling me Bible frowns at it is ridiculous

My dear, my post was in reply to the above post by someone who suggested that the Bible supports polygamy. I already noted people in the Bible weren't perfect and neither are we but no the Bible does not support polygamy. The same was a fornicator will know that the Bible doesn't support that. I don't Jude polygamous people, divorced , fornicator or lies etc just don't try and justify it with the Bible

bukatyne:

Are we really judging?

bukatyne:

Are we really judging?