jpphilips:

, all are men because they have a dangling rod, what else does your mother decide for you, when you poo??

jpphilips:

I wish too, but when I ask myself after that wedding night, 1hr after the deed, what is the girl? still a virgin? and all the bills will disappear? the Kingdom of heaven will open? I will expand my business? will get a tax cut from the Govt? well, I focus on things that matter, the status of a piece of a woman's waist is too vain to occupy my thoughts at this stage, If the only achievement of a man is the fact that he slept with my wife at some point in her past,not for profit but a breach of social trust, well, I hope he will tell that to his landlord when he comes for his rent.
When you see the plethora of men who have failed in this life, you will have no doubt that at some point in their life,, they misplaced their priorities.

It is good to play around high standards and all that but the realistic plate doesn't always taste nice, how many things do you think you deserve in life that you have today? starting with your parents? wont you have preferred to have come from a strong, political, economic, religious and influential back ground? wont you have loved to bear a surname that echoes a thunderous pitch of success? but here we are average and we are living with it, most people here even live below average from most of the things I read here.

Why should we accept average dispositions in our endeavors but think high standards when it comes to women? you don't use a 2014 car but you want a tear rubber virgin, your house is a rented one like you don't know some of your mates have built theirs? you eat average food forgetting that the high standards is a three course meal, you are born a christian and you claim to be religious yet you cant make a single miracle even if it is a fluke, You have not gone beyond the shores of your village yet some people wake in New york and sleep in Paris, kindly ignore the whole "you", I dont equally mean you should take into cognize the whole mundane things I spewd up there, I am only pointing to you that there are loads of voids in your life that the whole highstandard mantra of yours doesnt cut.

Perhaps I will change this mentality of mine when we live in an equal society where women can do their permutations like us and walk up to the man they want, and drag him to the alter.
The whole virgin price tag is as a result of people not knowing what marriage is about, it is not about a trophy you present to your friends that you have the best amongst them, mine is virgin urs is not, it is not a bragging right, it is about someone who compliments you and gives that life of yours a true meaning, a woman who understands how you love comfort and brings up ideas that spin the cash, a woman who understands your weaknesses and make you whole, a woman who understands your spirituality is at its ebb and uplifts it etc

Don't misconstrue my position as someone who wants a wh00re for a wife, I am of the opinion that a condition I cannot scientifically prove is not worth the stress, furthermore, in life each person have their thresh holds, there are somethings I can live with unlike you, a girl who has not profited from her sexcapade is something I can live with, I don't know about you.

chrisbaba1:

I guess thats why im choosy, I dont mess around so I deserve a decent ladt also. No one is asking for a virgin. No one wants a loose dummy who opened her legs for evrry man that comes her way. U get

jpphilips:

choosy you said? please don't forget that what you get eventually depends on how well you fit their own social circle, there is nothing wrong in eying Rhianna but know that it takes a Chris Brown to sweep her off her feet, the question is; are you a Chris brown for a Rhianna to come your way? God help you no Rhianna finds you desirable so what are you gonna do?
Focus on Nkechi or commit suicide?
You really have not searched for a wife, have you?

Obinoscopy: Bros I understand you and honestly I agree with you 100%. Virginity shouldn't take the number one spot on a man's priority list. But it should be on the list sha . However, a man shouldn't lose interest in a lady if she meets all his standards but virginity.

The reason why most men would respect a virgin lady is because she had a virtue called self-control. For her to have kept her chastity despite the immoral world we live in is worth praising. However, I agree that virginity is not the same as faithfulness. There's no guarantee that a virgin would retain her self-control virtue after having her first sexual intercourse with her husband. We've seen cases where a supposed virgin got married and later indulged in extra-marital affair.

So in conclusion, I'd say virginity is just the icing on the cake. Even though we'd love to have the cake with the icing, we shouldn't reject the cake because it lost the icing. After all, the quality of the cake isn't in the icing .

jpphilips:

Glad you appreciate the big picture, since I still have time, let me take you to another world of reality, the bold sentence of yours is a falasy I told myself as a teenager, but I have out grown it now.

A woman is not a virgin because she has any self control, it is because the situation/circumstances was never right.

If you agree that people have given up virginity to save their life, feed, survive and breathe, you will know that there is no citeris paribus in virginity.

Your losing or keeping yours depends on the path your life took largely beyond one's control and also the storm you needed to weather at some point in your life.

If you really want to meet women who have self control, meet the ones that have made very costly mistakes in the past then you will appreciate the difference.

jpphilips:

Ya once in a while you really need to tell kids to grow up, and you may as well think "pragmatic" to accommodate the big picture, why are you interested in the body count but not interested in knowing the circumstances for which the sex was had? that is only what is valid in this discourse, the rest opinion is personal aka choice as such it is your baggage.

If a girl becomes sexually active from 21, remember at that age some people were already graduates and was lucky to get married at 25, in between the four years she took a relationship gamble and got lucky, had sex, got married, body count one abi? lucky her!! what if she graduated at 21, feels marriage is the next thing, throws the first shot, a liar, took 4yrs of her life, ends badly, next takes 3yrs of her life ends badly too, at 33, what will be her body count? Do you seriously think she bargained for all the wasted years?

Some become sexually active quite early prolly 17, her college sweet heart stays till around 27 before they marry, that is 10yrs of extensive fvcking, what is her body count? let me be frank with you, there are circumstances in life that is beyond your control, you can only live smart but sh!!t happens, my bestie in the uni lost her fiancee in a car crash months before their wedding, where does it leave her, in the gamble game right? its been almost 13yrs now, she is still single, what has happened since then? your guess is as good as mine,

Life is not fvcking fair, but it is your right to dream, have fun!!

You are not being fair on our virgin ladies out there. Are you telling me that those virgins never faced temptations? Are you saying that EVERY lady will willingly allow herself be disvirgined if she finds herself in the "right circumstances"? Are you saying that our virgin nuns and reverend sisters can't be said to have self-control? I think you are not being fair here. The fact that we are trying to play down the relevance of virginity shouldn't make us make false and unfair statements. We need to encourage our ladies who have vowed to remain a virgin till her wedding night. However, I agree that we shouldn't judge a lady who had lost her virginity. It's her life, her choice.

I presume your opening sentence in bold is an overstatement, I am not taking sides with any, I am putting forth a realistic card on the table, and please don't talk about being fair to anyone, look around you, is life fair? what is fair about losing sleep to chase survival for decades?

when you say a woman "willingly allows herself to be disvirgined", what exactly do you mean by that? what are the circumstances that "willingly" dis virgined her? are we talking about news we read daily, what live in house helps do to unsuspecting kids? or the fathers and older neighbors? just pick a copy of any daily and tell me honestly you will miss such headline? have you taken the pulse of foster kids before? have you had that experience in your life? Do you know that over 40% of Nigerian children are living in foster care, do you have any idea, how "willingly" they were taken advantage of?

perhaps we should look at the other coin of "willingly" where you make your grades in school as a boy while some girls smarter than you cannot make same grades because they refuse to tender, how "willingly" is that? never mind that a relationship between a man and a woman only the woman accounts for her mileage while the man is allowed to exceed his so called mileage with m@sturb@tion alone, please can you explain to me in lucid terms what you think is fair and what is not?

Nobody is down playing anything, like I told the other guy, he can as well go virgin hunting, it is within his right to do so, Juxtaposing Nuns in a monastery with temptation is illogical, why do you think they live in isolation in the first place?
Shouldn't they be in the real world to breathe and feel the pressure there in to qualify properly the "temptation" in the true sense of it?
what do you think a monastery looks like? p0rn DVD store? if our world is anything close to a monastery believe me, fornication will be punishable by death.

True. There are ladies who had to lose their virginity under certain circumstances. That doesn't mean they don't have self-control. I never said all non-virgins lack self-control. I said virgins who waits till her wedding night b4 she has sex with her hubby possess the virtue called self-control.

Which ever path you take, you'd always face several forms of temptation, this is where self-control comes in.

I'm sorry for using the female gender in this discourse. The same also applies to our male folks. [b]A man should reserve his virginity for his woman. And his wife should respect him for that. [/b]But if he decides to have sex b4 marriage, that doesn't mean he has lost his worth to his wife. We shouldn't judge him for decisions in the past.

Obinoscopy: Jpphilips despite all your epistle up there, you still haven't proven to me that every virgin can be willingly disvirgined.

jpphilips:

Is that really the point?

A woman is not a virgin because she has any self control, it is because the situation/circumstances was never right.

MNDY:


[@jpphilips] I've been stalking you! The immense power of insightful analysis & oratory might that you wield, fascinates me! I've been a guest on this forum, I joined as member just recently. You bear the same name with a graduate-assistant lecturer of mine (a great intellect walking the surface of the earth) in History and Int'l Studies department of Kogi State University, Anyigba! Are you the one?