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Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? - Romance (9) - Nairaland

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Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Toks2008(m): 11:26am On Oct 02, 2014
Any body cqn lqrry qnybody irrespective of your stqtus as a single parent.

Though its more likely that a lady with a child outof wedlock may end up as a second wife or a wife of a man that also has a child already.

To create a balance i think a lady who has a child out of wedlock should look forward to marrying a guy in same condition to create a balance so that the guy will not start thinking he is doin the lady a favout.
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by dhabeautyjas(f): 11:26am On Oct 02, 2014
We are all talking on the feminine part, what of a man that has a kid, women still marry them now, why are men always selfish.

the question is Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? NOT » Can You Marry a woman Who Has A Child?
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by ericessien24: 11:28am On Oct 02, 2014
khiaa:

This is not true, DNA doesn't make you a father love does. Here in the US if you marry a single mother you can also adopt the child and he/she will legally be yours, the biological (sperm doner) will not have any rights. Before adopting the child you will have to get the biological (sperm doner) father to sign over his rights to the mother and believe me most of the time there will be no hesitance because he didn't want the responsibilities of the child in the first place. Now if said sperm doner decides he suddenly wants to play daddy after years of neglect and abandonment, he will have to go to court to gain partial custody but it would be hard to prove to a judge that he will be a good father and provider after years of abandonment.
my dear that your US is just something else,but why would I sign that the baby isn't mine? I can't do that.you know girls in the states are very abnormal sorry to say.any small thing ,its over.divorce is like a normal thing there cos they know they wil share properties for them,but here in Nigeria that can't happen.as far as you can proof the child is yours,then you the father and most of the girls that are baby mamas are the ones that goes to Men for feeding money,players with many guys.I can't date a girl and know she have 6 other guys and il accept one pregnancy that its mine,I can't.for example my last relationship the girl told me I was her side guy and she cant date one person.I took her as my sex mate too.when we have sex I pay her and suddenly all the other guys were cheat and she realized I'm a cool guy,she then wanted to stay with me.but I couldn't cos I can never love her and if she get pregnant for me,she will just be a baby mama .so I DONT PITY them cos they get what they want.in my hood ,being a single mother makes you a big girl and later they start dragging people's husband.I know there are few decent ones but 98% of them are out of greed.

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Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by dre11(m): 11:29am On Oct 02, 2014
Why can't I marry someone with a child....
Atleast u didn't say children but child

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Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Fourwinds: 11:29am On Oct 02, 2014
Enasco1: ok so youths shud do away wt premarital sex!! Ok. Marryin a lady who has collected more than 8 joysticks n have done numerous abortions x better than Marryin a single mother....
imagine how hard for u to understand.!!! go and read my post again. if. a child faces his/her studies and forget about nonsense dating how will it result in joystick in her pu...ssy or abortion or single parent.

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Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by holyboss: 11:36am On Oct 02, 2014
Not even with Charm undecided


TeamVirginGroom
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Fourwinds: 11:37am On Oct 02, 2014
dhabeautyjas: We are all talking on the feminine part, what of a man that has a kid, women still marry them now, why are men always selfish.

the question is Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? NOT » Can You Marry a woman Who Has A Child?
because d man still train d child and bears his name but for d woman., d new guy trains later in life d real father or fathers family come claiming d ownership of d child. pls dese are two different cases
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Fourwinds: 11:45am On Oct 02, 2014
dhabeautyjas: We are all talking on the feminine part, what of a man that has a kid, women still marry them now, why are men always selfish.

the question is Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? NOT » Can You Marry a woman Who Has A Child?
can u train a child for another man show up and say dis is my wife and my child. by time u argue and disagree, he leaves. d next day he comes with family members and friends and what u hear is history how he started dating d girl right from secondary school. and how mistake resulted to pregnancy bla bla bla. woo u never see case oook

1 Like

Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by olempe(m): 11:48am On Oct 02, 2014
Nope.
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by josite: 11:51am On Oct 02, 2014
CharmO1: Wow! Many comments, mostly negative. I'm a single mother. I did the same thing many ladies have done and will always do: s3x. But I did what only a brave woman with a conscience would do, I kept my son. I laughed when I read some HELL NO's. Better a tokunbo. Car than a car that was wrecked in an accident and then panel-beat, repainted, and repackaged as new. I haven't had issues with men looking down on me because I'm independent and I don't even allow a man I'm dating meet my son. I don't want my son seeing different men in my life. It's only that lucky man that would have the priviledge of meeting him though adopting him is out of the question cos my family won't let him out of their sight. Fertility is not guaranteed because a woman has given birth but there's a higher chance of fertility and if there are no kids after marriage, then na the man get problem be that. As someone rightly said, it takes a mature mind and a good heart to be with a single mother because honestly we hardly trust because we've been hurt deeply before. I haven't met any promiscuous single mother. Strangely, most single mothers can close legs tight because of fear of being used and dumped. My advice to single mothers, don't be desperate, rely on God's time. It will happen for you too. And also be financially independent so no man calls you a gold-digger. And no matter what love your child/children because a man can break your heart and abandon you but your kid(s) are yours forever.

you really have it.thumbs up.really wish to meet u.one thing im sure of is that you really have a very sound mind.im impressed.

1 Like

Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by handsum92: 11:53am On Oct 02, 2014
I cnt even marry sum1 who has ad sex b4...#teammustmarryavirgin
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by kissty(f): 11:54am On Oct 02, 2014
not wrong or bad once there is love in between
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by khiaa(f): 11:59am On Oct 02, 2014
ericessien24: my dear that your US is just something else,but why would I sign that the baby isn't mine? I can't do that.you know girls in the states are very abnormal sorry to say.any small thing ,its over.divorce is like a normal thing there cos they know they wil share properties for them,but here in Nigeria that can't happen.as far as you can proof the child is yours,then you the father and most of the girls that are baby mamas are the ones that goes to Men for feeding money,players with many guys.I can't date a girl and know she have 6 other guys and il accept one pregnancy that its mine,I can't.for example my last relationship the girl told me I was her side guy and she cant date one person.I took her as my sex mate too.when we have sex I pay her and suddenly all the other guys were cheat and she realized I'm a cool guy,she then wanted to stay with me.but I couldn't cos I can never love her and if she get pregnant for me,she will just be a baby mama .so I DONT PITY them cos they get what they want.in my hood ,being a single mother makes you a big girl and later they start dragging people's husband.I know there are few decent ones but 98% of them are out of greed.


I am talking about men who don't want the responsibility of being fathers that's why I call them sperm doners, because that's all they were good for.
You said women in the US divorce for any small thing this is not true unless you call serial cheating drug abuse, physical abuse and many other horrible acts a small thing. Why shouldn't the wife get half of the properties when she worked her butt off to help pay for them. That law should be changed over there it is so unfair to women. So you don't mind the idea that your wife only stays with you because she has no place to go rather than the fact that she loves you? Mind you I am not talking about you personally, just the scenario. cheesy
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by iriskiki(f): 12:00pm On Oct 02, 2014
My fellow human beings. They are only single mothers. Not monsters. I blame the double standard. And the lack of integrity present in most of us. Or else, Why would a guy get a girl pregnant and not do the right thing by her? Most of them have more character that the non single mother types you are all harping about! At least they felt strong enough to keep the baby and nurture the child.

Some people are saying no. It's a two way street. I guess that means no one should marry the sperms donor, CO IT IS HIS SP.RM THAT PRODUCED THE CHILD BY THE WAY.

no one is holy or pure, so no one should judge. What goes around comes around o. You are not God and karma can really fck you up. So be fair...

2 Likes

Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by iriskiki(f): 12:01pm On Oct 02, 2014
To answer the question, yes I can. And whoever can't, it's no big deal. Just don't judge.

1 Like

Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 12:06pm On Oct 02, 2014
Depends on what actually happened. If it was divorce issue, I'm sorry.
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 12:08pm On Oct 02, 2014
josite:

you really have it.thumbs up.really wish to meet u.one thing im sure of is that you really have a very sound mind.im impressed.
thanks it's never easy but i can do all things through Christ.

1 Like

Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by franzis(m): 12:09pm On Oct 02, 2014
If I get my way I for don marry one tey tey... They are one of the best ,caring and understanding people to get married to
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by arobafingi(m): 12:10pm On Oct 02, 2014
No. is the answer. except the kid father is dead
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by khiaa(f): 12:10pm On Oct 02, 2014
thorpido: You're taking this VERY personal.Are you a single mother?
You know nothing about my marital status and whether I have kids or not.

lol You are taking this personally. When I said YOU I didn't actually mean you the person I meant the person in the situation. cheesy No I am not a mother.
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by xtervaganza(m): 12:14pm On Oct 02, 2014
Brace yourself for the after ones




They will come out and attack like pack of wolves now if you say u can't marry them






The only reason I probably wouldn't want to marry a single mother is because most of them go around nursing anger



They get angry easily. You'll see it from their comments here

1 Like

Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Fourwinds: 12:16pm On Oct 02, 2014
Enasco1: I love dx question!!! U actually asked d right question. He shud put hx sister, female frd, or relative in d pix n anx us,,,
look all dis one wen u dey talk say na real question...u dey funny. dese things happens majorly during teen years. teenagers find it difficult to accept sometimes dat dey are wrong in order to learn. d moment u are ready to hear bitter truth., u won't find urself in most of dese cases. people hate truth dats y we have dese problems. left to me oooi. I warn ahead of time so dat once it happpens den I don't need to talk. I talk before it happens... dats me.
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nwa4Jesus(f): 12:16pm On Oct 02, 2014
I am a single mother of one. From d story behide it, my baby father wants me to abort d baby n I refused so he back off n I face d chanellages blc I val not to abort my baby. So tell me am I bad? Its not that I don't have d money for d abort or my mates are nt doing it but I promised God that I will never abort if I take in my relationship. Be wise when concluding issues that u don't know blc d ones without baby does nt means the are virgil Mary.

6 Likes

Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by arobafingi(m): 12:21pm On Oct 02, 2014
skillzbae: One thing most guys dnt undastand is dat 95per cent of single mothers are decent ladies, dre is an option called "abortion" whch dey overlook, despite d fact dey knw it wont b easy raising a child. I av two frnds dat wen u c dem in church jumping up n down, u wil think dey r stil virgins, bt d truth is, any man who marries dem av made d biggest mistake in life cos dey av aborted so much nd their womb has bin destroyed. Its nt abt nt having a child,its abt if dey can stil av one.
Yes, guys don't want to understand why you have a child outside wedlock. let's discourage single parenthood.
so that everyone will be responsible for their actions. I av a child and I will never encourage anybody to marry my wife who is now a single mother while I the husband is still alive.

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Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Fourwinds: 12:22pm On Oct 02, 2014
IdomaLikita: Few things we must note:
1. The Child is Innocent
2. The Mum had a Choice, but chose to bear the stigma
3. Its Weird down here and can be difficult!
4. What's Life without Challenges?

So yes I can!
remember d mother also has a choice to close her legs and d child wouldn't have come in d first place.
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by M4gunners: 12:23pm On Oct 02, 2014
All of you saying Hell no,if She happen to be mrs Alakija or Oprah Wilfred won't you guys rush her?

1 Like

Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 12:23pm On Oct 02, 2014
Some people raise their fingers to point and judge forgetting their hands are smeared as well. Yes, some single mothers are this way because of careless decisions made in the past. No one is above mistakes. Where I usually get angry is where a man wants to sleep with a single mother all in the name of dating but he later would say he can't marry her. That is very wrong. Some men here shouting NO have forgotten they have sisters. And bros, if a guy impregnates ur sister and says he won't marry her, I bet you, you can't force him. What if he is forced and he eventually kills your sister? Some of these men that impregnate ladies would just abandon the ladies. Even if she begs with her blood, he won't take her meanwhile he is part of the cause. This whole thread has reminded me of when I gave birth and the whole world was laughing at my family, we kept our heads up. Few years ago, one of those laughing families faced this very same issue. Their daughter got pregnant and to cover shame they took her for abortion. She died in the process. Don't judge and condemn people because you don't know what karma has in store for each one of us. After all, marriage is a choice. Choose wisely who will make you happy because happiness is what makes a home.

4 Likes

Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by lakefist(m): 12:24pm On Oct 02, 2014
kids of nairaland what do they know about relationship.Being a single parent is never a barrier.Infact most of them end up been successful in their marriage compare to all these indomie ladies and guys out there. tongue
Am a proud SIngle DAD
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Fourwinds: 12:29pm On Oct 02, 2014
arobafingi:
Yes, guys don't want to understand why you have a child outside wedlock. let's discourage single parenthood.
so that everyone will be responsible for their actions. I av a child and I will never encourage anybody to marry my wife who is now a single mother while I the husband is still alive.
a good advice. plan and prepare before taking a leap. what do young ones know about love when u are still under ur parents. still schooling. no job. still go ahead to have sex. have u evaluated some of dis necessary things. do things right simple and avoid headach
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 12:36pm On Oct 02, 2014
yes i jus did
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by sugaarbear(m): 12:43pm On Oct 02, 2014
yeah i can marry her if her kid is between the ages one to two
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by thorpido(m): 12:47pm On Oct 02, 2014
khiaa:

lol You are taking this personally. When I said YOU I didn't actually mean you the person I meant the person in the situation. cheesy No I am not a mother.
Good for you that you are not a single mother.You said the man and put you in parenthesis which was kind of implied.
Well,I'm married so single mother or not does not apply to me.

I have nothing against single mothers.

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