khiaa:


I am talking about men who don't want the responsibility of being fathers that's why I call them sperm doners, because that's all they were good for.
You said women in the US divorce for any small thing this is not true unless you call serial cheating drug abuse, physical abuse and many other horrible acts a small thing. Why shouldn't the wife get half of the properties when she worked her butt off to help pay for them. That law should be changed over there it is so unfair to women. So you don't mind the idea that your wife only stays with you because she has no place to go rather than the fact that she loves you? Mind you I am not talking about you personally, just the scenario.

you trying to tell me that all breakups and cheats are only the men ,the fertilizing ovary owners don't cheat ?and I hate that stuff ,(we work together for it).that's why when I was building my house I never allowed any lady add a kobo to it cos if she bought a bag of cement,then its our property and its very wrong to share properties cos if it was the lady that was the owner,she won't accept.I understand you not talking directly to me.

krall: Big turn off.

How did the kid (or should I say the "singleness" )come about in the first place?

If the father of the child is still alive then I see no reason for them all not to be "together".

spoken like a child.

life is too complex for a simplistic view...

No be me and Tokunbo, to avoid everyday visit to mechanic.

I prefer new that can serve me better, you know what I mean, rit?

Under normal circumstances, I can't marry someone with a child, even if she's Queen Elizabeth, the traditional part of me won't allow me to.

My significance is such that, a Virgin womb has to be presented to me, my son has to be the first person to exit his mom's birth canal.

That aside, marriage to someone already with child, comes with a lot of complexities (especially if the child's father or mother is still alive) which I so wouldn't want to get involved in.

There's an exception however; if both parties are single parents (maybe as a result of bereavement) then it becomes much easier.

khiaa:

The op said single mothers out of wedlock.

The topic I saw said 'someone'..

arobafingi:
Yes, guys don't want to understand why you have a child outside wedlock. let's discourage single parenthood.
so that everyone will be responsible for their actions. I av a child and I will never encourage anybody to marry my wife who is now a single mother while I the husband is still alive.

Ur wife, whch means u were married, some ladies were not, mayb because dey were raped, lied to or dumpd. No one is encouraging single parenthood no matter d circumstances bt are we supposed to encourage abortion instead?

Yes I can

Hahahahaha I'm just having a good laugh over here. Let me start by saying that I had a child before getting married, not because there is no money for abortion but because I chose to keep my child. Again the father never denied me but I had reasons for not marrying him then. I don't want to quit my education and I was sure that we were not ready for marriage.
Long story short, I can count my mates that got married before me but HONESTLY I can't count the ones that I got married before and the ones still unmarried. I graduated from sch at the right age, got married at the right age, had kids for my hubby at the right age and most importantly I am living a fulfilled life. I am not married to dangote but I lack NOTHING. My husband literally adores me and sorry to burst your bubble, he is just a few years older than me so we are more like age mates. I never lived a promiscuous lifestyle and since I got married, have never cheated on my husband.
I don't support premarital sex but when it happens, keeping your child should be the only option. I forgot to add that my husband begged me to marry him, never threw myself at him.
C'mon girls get a life and the right man will come. I also never hid my status, not for once!!!

MadCow1: [b]Yes I can...

But wouldn't recommend it to anyone. It requires a whole nother level of maturity of mind and mental strength.. You have to deal with certain emotional dramas that can really fhuck up the feeble minded and put untold strain on the relationship.. You have to try to raise another man's kid like they were yours. You have to deal with her/his past that keeps looking at you in the face daily. Let's not talk about the step parent drama that most step kids bring with them. Also when you now have your own kids, the battle line of fairness and equality is drawn and everytime you accidentally fhuck up by treating yours differently to theirs, the fall out is big. Infact you are almost always required to treat your step kids better than you would treat yours as they are technically the victims in your relationship. If the spouse with the kid isn't also mentally mature, they tend to create even more problems than the kids. In some cases, they start hoarding their assets and stashing them for their own kid for inheritance purposes. Every disciplinary action to take towards the other person's kid is seen as exaggerated and excessive. You most times end up emotionally messed up cos having to deal with that drama does tend to take its toll on you eventually.

In my opinion, I would highly discourage it.

Simply put, marrying a single parent is not for the emotionally weak.. But I believe I can handle that.

Thanks.[/b]

this

krall: Big turn off.

How did the kid (or should I say the "singleness" )come about in the first place?

If the father of the child is still alive then I see no reason for them all not to be "together".

[size=15pt]I can't believe that people are still thinking like this on this planet, clearly there are.

In relationship, sometimes lots of things leads to seperation, it could be the fault of either which some people learn from their mistake but having a child or children shouldn't be a barrier in finding someone else as long as they don't have EBOLA. This type of thinking is primitive and trust me some people have thrown away their SOUL MATE that's only if some people understand what soul mate is, as well as Barbaric culture that never helps their lives.[/size]

Titiluvly: NO!

heyyyy. Obi odikwaghi nma...easy na

PAINGAIN: I like u already. Just tell d guy d truth about ur kids. If he loves u unconditionally he'll still marry u. Cheers.

He alredy knos...its part of his liknes..bntruthful to him frm d bginin.. dnt mak such mstake & dnt shy talkin abt dem..

[size=15pt]3 things is required in this situation

1* TOTAL LOVE

2* MATURITY

3* WISDOM.

As a matter of fact they are very experienced and sensible if you come across a good one, not those that have no idea of what they want.

It's huge responsibility but with love it's becomes easy.[/size]

As for all those attributing the topic to only females, the OP never mentioned mother or father so stop being sentimental.
The first thing I will like you to know is that most of these women (since uve made it a woman's topic) never wanted to be single mothers. Who impregnated them? I don't need you to answer the question. Most of them just happen to fall into wrong hands of the "Saint men". Why the stigmatisation on single mothers? What of someone who got married and the husband traveled abroad and got married to someone else over there and made her to realize that he was no longer interested there by leaving her with her child? Who put her in such situation? Was it not a man?
It's true we have rights to our opinions but I tell u, many Nigerian men has used their wives as girlfriend. What even gives you the assurance that someone (lady) who has never had a child will give u happiness in marriage?
As for me, I can marry a man with kid(s) if I am comfortable and happy with him and of course, loves him. In that case, I know I'm having his kid(s) as mine provided the baby mama whether dead or alive won't give me trouble.

yes. if in good shape

Yes!! where is she??

Alice07: As for all those attributing the topic to only females, the OP never mentioned mother or father so stop being sentimental.
The first thing I will like you to know is that most of these women (since uve made it a woman's topic) never wanted to be single mothers. Who impregnated them? I don't need you to answer the question. Most of them just happen to fall into wrong hands of the "Saint men". Why the stigmatisation on single mothers? What of someone who got married and the husband traveled abroad and got married to someone else over there and made her to realize that he was no longer interested there by leaving her with her child? Who put her in such situation? Was it not a man?
It's true we have rights to our opinions but I tell u, many Nigerian men has used their wives as girlfriend. What even gives you the assurance that someone (lady) who has never had a child will give u happiness in marriage?
As for me, I can marry a man with kid(s) if I am comfortable and happy with him and of course, loves him. In that case, I know I'm having his kid(s) as mine provided the baby mama whether dead or alive won't give me trouble.

[b]

Alice07: As for all those attributing the topic to only females, the OP never mentioned mother or father so stop being sentimental.
The first thing I will like you to know is that most of these women (since uve made it a woman's topic) never wanted to be single mothers. Who impregnated them? I don't need you to answer the question. Most of them just happen to fall into wrong hands of the "Saint men". Why the stigmatisation on single mothers? What of someone who got married and the husband traveled abroad and got married to someone else over there and made her to realize that he was no longer interested there by leaving her with her child? Who put her in such situation? Was it not a man?
It's true we have rights to our opinions but I tell u, many Nigerian men has used their wives as girlfriend. What even gives you the assurance that someone (lady) who has never had a child will give u happiness in marriage?
As for me, I can marry a man with kid(s) if I am comfortable and happy with him and of course, loves him. In that case, I know I'm having his kid(s) as mine provided the baby mama whether dead or alive won't give me trouble.

[/b]

Alice07: As for all those attributing the topic to only females, the OP never mentioned mother or father so stop being sentimental.
The first thing I will like you to know is that most of these women (since uve made it a woman's topic) never wanted to be single mothers. Who impregnated them? I don't need you to answer the question. Most of them just happen to fall into wrong hands of the "Saint men". Why the stigmatisation on single mothers? What of someone who got married and the husband traveled abroad and got married to someone else over there and made her to realize that he was no longer interested there by leaving her with her child? Who put her in such situation? Was it not a man?
It's true we have rights to our opinions but I tell u, many Nigerian men has used their wives as girlfriend. What even gives you the assurance that someone (lady) who has never had a child will give u happiness in marriage?
As for me, I can marry a man with kid(s) if I am comfortable and happy with him and of course, loves him. In that case, I know I'm having his kid(s) as mine provided the baby mama whether dead or alive won't give me trouble.

[email]

Alice07: As for all those attributing the topic to only females, the OP never mentioned mother or father so stop being sentimental.
The first thing I will like you to know is that most of these women (since uve made it a woman's topic) never wanted to be single mothers. Who impregnated them? I don't need you to answer the question. Most of them just happen to fall into wrong hands of the "Saint men". Why the stigmatisation on single mothers? What of someone who got married and the husband traveled abroad and got married to someone else over there and made her to realize that he was no longer interested there by leaving her with her child? Who put her in such situation? Was it not a man?
It's true we have rights to our opinions but I tell u, many Nigerian men has used their wives as girlfriend. What even gives you the assurance that someone (lady) who has never had a child will give u happiness in marriage?
As for me, I can marry a man with kid(s) if I am comfortable and happy with him and of course, loves him. In that case, I know I'm having his kid(s) as mine provided the baby mama whether dead or alive won't give me trouble.

[b]

Alice07: As for all those attributing the topic to only females, the OP never mentioned mother or father so stop being sentimental.
The first thing I will like you to know is that most of these women (since uve made it a woman's topic) never wanted to be single mothers. Who impregnated them? I don't need you to answer the question. Most of them just happen to fall into wrong hands of the "Saint men". Why the stigmatisation on single mothers? What of someone who got married and the husband traveled abroad and got married to someone else over there and made her to realize that he was no longer interested there by leaving her with her child? Who put her in such situation? Was it not a man?
It's true we have rights to our opinions but I tell u, many Nigerian men has used their wives as girlfriend. What even gives you the assurance that someone (lady) who has never had a child will give u happiness in marriage?
As for me, I can marry a man with kid(s) if I am comfortable and happy with him and of course, loves him. In that case, I know I'm having his kid(s) as mine provided the baby mama whether dead or alive won't give me trouble.

[/b]

Alice07: As for all those attributing the topic to only females, the OP never mentioned mother or father so stop being sentimental.
The first thing I will like you to know is that most of these women (since uve made it a woman's topic) never wanted to be single mothers. Who impregnated them? I don't need you to answer the question. Most of them just happen to fall into wrong hands of the "Saint men". Why the stigmatisation on single mothers? What of someone who got married and the husband traveled abroad and got married to someone else over there and made her to realize that he was no longer interested there by leaving her with her child? Who put her in such situation? Was it not a man?
It's true we have rights to our opinions but I tell u, many Nigerian men has used their wives as girlfriend. What even gives you the assurance that someone (lady) who has never had a child will give u happiness in marriage?
As for me, I can marry a man with kid(s) if I am comfortable and happy with him and of course, loves him. In that case, I know I'm having his kid(s) as mine provided the baby mama whether dead or alive won't give me trouble.

[/email]

Alice07: As for all those attributing the topic to only females, the OP never mentioned mother or father so stop being sentimental.
The first thing I will like you to know is that most of these women (since uve made it a woman's topic) never wanted to be single mothers. Who impregnated them? I don't need you to answer the question. Most of them just happen to fall into wrong hands of the "Saint men". Why the stigmatisation on single mothers? What of someone who got married and the husband traveled abroad and got married to someone else over there and made her to realize that he was no longer interested there by leaving her with her child? Who put her in such situation? Was it not a man?
It's true we have rights to our opinions but I tell u, many Nigerian men has used their wives as girlfriend. What even gives you the assurance that someone (lady) who has never had a child will give u happiness in marriage?
As for me, I can marry a man with kid(s) if I am comfortable and happy with him and of course, loves him. In that case, I know I'm having his kid(s) as mine provided the baby mama whether dead or alive won't give me trouble.

[b]

Alice07: As for all those attributing the topic to only females, the OP never mentioned mother or father so stop being sentimental.
The first thing I will like you to know is that most of these women (since uve made it a woman's topic) never wanted to be single mothers. Who impregnated them? I don't need you to answer the question. Most of them just happen to fall into wrong hands of the "Saint men". Why the stigmatisation on single mothers? What of someone who got married and the husband traveled abroad and got married to someone else over there and made her to realize that he was no longer interested there by leaving her with her child? Who put her in such situation? Was it not a man?
It's true we have rights to our opinions but I tell u, many Nigerian men has used their wives as girlfriend. What even gives you the assurance that someone (lady) who has never had a child will give u happiness in marriage?
As for me, I can marry a man with kid(s) if I am comfortable and happy with him and of course, loves him. In that case, I know I'm having his kid(s) as mine provided the baby mama whether dead or alive won't give me trouble.

[/b]

Alice07: As for all those attributing the topic to only females, the OP never mentioned mother or father so stop being sentimental.
The first thing I will like you to know is that most of these women (since uve made it a woman's topic) never wanted to be single mothers. Who impregnated them? I don't need you to answer the question. Most of them just happen to fall into wrong hands of the "Saint men". Why the stigmatisation on single mothers? What of someone who got married and the husband traveled abroad and got married to someone else over there and made her to realize that he was no longer interested there by leaving her with her child? Who put her in such situation? Was it not a man?
It's true we have rights to our opinions but I tell u, many Nigerian men has used their wives as girlfriend. What even gives you the assurance that someone (lady) who has never had a child will give u happiness in marriage?
As for me, I can marry a man with kid(s) if I am comfortable and happy with him and of course, loves him. In that case, I know I'm having his kid(s) as mine provided the baby mama whether dead or alive won't give me trouble.

It may be nt easy 4 all guy nd gal becuz sumtym it can a problem in dy family

Sammyblaq:
heyyyy. Obi odikwaghi nma...easy na

Lolllzzz Obi adiro Mu nma Nwanne...

D thing is jst individual differences and their ptrpference to me love is all dat matters.

tosyne2much: broda, I don't call it MATURITY, I call it CHOICE.. However, we all have our choices.. For the fact that getting acquinted to a single mother is a turn off for you dsnt make you immature

Nice!

RhemaDavids: am a single mother, I broke up with ma ex cos he had to first ask his mum if he can marry me or not, and when his mum said Y not, he came back to propose I refused cos he wasn't man enough.I.have a man in my life who adore me so much and is looking forward to taking me down the aisle baby or no baby. so is just your.heart and love

why blame the poor guy when he did the right thing. He just doesn't want to be miserable or foolish

XarmZoft..com app released... Download yours .. And don't forget to click on the ads to support me... Thank you all and God bless

Thank goodness for all the mature men who graced this thread. With love,any thing is possible. This question is so19th century. Even the generation before ours broke the rule several times.

/

The baby's face is a constant reminder of the face of the dude whose crumbs from the master's table you are enjoying.

On the flip side, single mothers are highly discounted.

So, if you are at your wit's end, go for it..

\

Stil Surprise @ most guys responses. Let b sincere. If Beyonce should quit her marriage wt Jay Z 2day n she decides 2 propose 2 any of dese fellows dxcriminating single mothers. You all will 4gt dat she has a child. U wll 4gt ur various traditions dat kicked against it!!!

no matter what many of you guys says here,u will eventually marries a single mum/and many of you unfortunately will only come around to the fact that what AND WHO GOD HAS BLESSETH ,NO MAN CAN CURSE meaning it is after you encounter serious misfortune from marrying your virgin girl that you will eventually come to accept IF GOD PERFECT PLAN FOR ME AND MY FUTURE IS A SINGLE MUM,SO BE IT.

THE FACT AND the truth is many many of these single mum will be a far better wife than many of these virgin girls.trust GOD,let him do that which is good for you.

Fourwinds:
remember d mother also has a choice to close her legs and d child wouldn't have come in d first place.

Who is beyond Mistakes?

CharmO1: Wow! Many comments, mostly negative. I'm a single mother. I did the same thing many ladies have done and will always do: s3x. But I did what only a brave woman with a conscience would do, I kept my son. I laughed when I read some HELL NO's. Better a tokunbo. Car than a car that was wrecked in an accident and then panel-beat, repainted, and repackaged as new. I haven't had issues with men looking down on me because I'm independent and I don't even allow a man I'm dating meet my son. I don't want my son seeing different men in my life. It's only that lucky man that would have the priviledge of meeting him though adopting him is out of the question cos my family won't let him out of their sight. Fertility is not guaranteed because a woman has given birth but there's a higher chance of fertility and if there are no kids after marriage, then na the man get problem be that. As someone rightly said, it takes a mature mind and a good heart to be with a single mother because honestly we hardly trust because we've been hurt deeply before. I haven't met any promiscuous single mother. Strangely, most single mothers can close legs tight because of fear of being used and dumped. My advice to single mothers, don't be desperate, rely on God's time. It will happen for you too. And also be financially independent so no man calls you a gold-digger. And no matter what love your child/children because a man can break your heart and abandon you but your kid(s) are yours forever.

I have followed your comments with keen interest and I must you have a sound mind.

I can't, just came out of a relationship with one, It was hell! Like aren't u gonna send somfin 2 my child? I don't hv money 2 keep myself and my child. Its a jerk! Totally NO!!!

I am into it and my advise is that, dont do it. As for my own situation, i never knew at the beginning and when i later discovered, it was already too late

I would never ever marry a man with kid