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Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by Busybody2(f): 4:41am On Jan 08, 2009 |
H2O2: Hello, goodbye *Toyinrayo: Thanks babe, will do Ori nfo mi men, where's that stupid Tumfulu sef, I need me some |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by Nobody: 4:45am On Jan 08, 2009 |
Busy_body:Lol, Iyalode, lo sun. take tynelol. |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by topup: 4:59am On Jan 08, 2009 |
Umm ummm, waits |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by springss: 4:52pm On Jan 08, 2009 |
topup:@Topup, there’s really no ‘silver bullet’ for an ex. It all depends on a lot of complex factors. How one feels about the ex – still attracted to him/her or not? Level of loneliness – is there a new person on the scene or just wallowing in a depressed state? Anger – is there still anger or has it cooled off? Memories – are there thousands of pleasant memories that just can’t get out of one’s mind or thousand of horror memories that continue to haunt? Strength – how strongly can you resist the sound of the other person’s voice, or their presence? Intimacy – was the relationship very intimate or not. Sex – were you up on cloud nine or down in the dumps? Others; money, spirituality, compassion, etc People try so many tactics: rudeness, avoidance, denial, aggression, jumping ship to spite the other person, pretence, etc. In the end it all depends on the individuals concerned and their level of tolerance and/or self-control. For me avoidance is the most effective, but extremely difficult if the feelings are still strong. Over time though, with avoidance one can begin to gain better self-control. Avoidance works only if there are other things to occupy one’s mind, otherwise one will get caught up in a vicious cycle. Some people I know try to evoke a feeling of hate. However, hate is not the opposite of love. See, people still stand a good chance of reconciliation with anyone that hates them. There’s a thin line between love and hate, they say. So it’s easy to cross over. Indifference is really the opposite of love. We stand little to no chance with people who feel indifferent towards us. When one gets to feel indifferent towards an ex, it’s truly over… |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by Nobody: 5:19pm On Jan 08, 2009 |
@ busybody Pele, Sis. Hope you're feeling much better. |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by dremoney(m): 12:14am On Jan 09, 2009 |
the obsessive part is what i hate most about girls,huh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by topup: 3:18am On Jan 09, 2009 |
springss: This is SO good it sounds like an extract out of a book. Yeah, there are no 'perfect' answers or 'sure techniques'. Yup, right now I have NOTHING to do, though I have a lot of work, I have no lectures to attend, no friends to meet up, all that will change next week and I'll be back to my usual - not having time to even discuss or mention his name. Nonetheless, I think he too does the same thing . When he's bored (i.e. holidays) he'll call, otherwise it's 'party with the boys'. I kinda feel for that side of him that's vulnerable (being lonely and calling me ). Anyways, good advice. Looking forward to more and more wisdom (and no I'm not writing a book). I wonder how one separates a genuine missing of the ex from lonliness, will I feel the same when in a relationship with STUD A?? I guess only time, trial and error works. Maybe one day we'll stop playing games, funny thing is I don't hate him but I'm not indifferent to him either, so what am I? I love-d him, but the feelings were based on the person I got to know, (which might have been a side of him) but I was completely different to the guy I met after the breakup and during the demise of the relationship. |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by ariblaze(m): 12:53pm On Jan 12, 2009 |
even if i wanted to really talk about this the first two replies to the post,was quite a put off why dont you people ever change? why does everything have to degenerate into a gender war? ok guys are quick to assume ladies are crazy ladies also assume guys are crazy! it boils down to who you ask? i for one, never have. . . . ok maybe i did once under estimate a woman got burnt from here to hell and since then learnt my lesson i did something akin to very very healthy @post agreed, closure is needed,but like with life how it is approached goes a long way to determining if you are a nuisance or just someone trying to tie a loop |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by JazzFreak(m): 3:45pm On Jan 12, 2009 |
springss: This yarn says it all. Honestly, babes get craz no be small O Due to their emotional line of thought; for guys, na rational & functional reasioning straight up ! |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by mida: 1:56am On Jan 13, 2009 |
For a start, i think i like your gut.you have a realistic view of what goes on within the mind of the ladies when guys break up with them. What i guessed pushed your guy to quit was insensitivity on your path,rather than letting the wind of your feelings affect the situation he was in at that moment, you are applying pressure and may be too much pressure, just like any natural system they can explode when too much of it is applied.And to comment on the fast part of your post, i guess it will be double damage breaking up with a girl-which definitely hurts-and still state why or what she did wrong to have done that. Or don't you think so, |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by topup: 5:00am On Jan 13, 2009 |
mida: I believe it's all relative, though I am not quite sure which example you are referring to exactly, whether you are using my personal or the scenarios I used. What I mean by relative is that, too much pressure could be calling to see if he's not killed himself lol, I didn't know he wanted to end things, and I know you guys on NL really want to believe that our relationship was fine, but I think he had planned all along to breakup when he was about to travel. I only saw this afterwards. The stories I was fed was that he was very confused about his course, his life, has a lot to think about, and upon visiting him, he was sat in the dark, acting all depressed. "Oh sweety, are you okay?" - and I've pushed it too far. . hmmm, it's all relative. I certainly hounded nobody with calls or texts, in fact we didn't speak for almost a week until he called back. It's good for a girl to know her worth and some people may say it's okay for a guy to treat his 'beloved' like this, because the girlfriend is going through a 'probation' period or he is just going through somethings, but I know what I would do, if I truly loved someone, I would reassure them that they are not the source for my problems, I may ask for some time out, but I will keep them aware that they are not to blame. Breaking up AND telling the person what they did wrong would be worse you ask? Well, for me if the guy was a terrible boyfriend, I would be no more than eager to get all the crap I've put up with off my chest. If he sincerely didn't mean to be terrible, I would tell him only if he wanted to know. Most of us are adults here, and even women *surprise surprise* can handle the truth. It might hurt but the truth is the only thing that can bring revelations which can lead to change. |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by istheskyb: 10:12am On Jan 13, 2009 |
how are you girl i think i am in the right position to handle such questions, i am kessy.you can reach me on 07060694938,07041742502, thanks |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by mida: 10:23am On Jan 13, 2009 |
Wow,you are blowing my mind.you seem to know more about this thing than i thought, i am sorry for the breakup, but i guess you must have done somethings that you felt should not be stated here. The guy in question sounds like an hustler to me, is he, i mean is he someone who has som many odds to get over to make a life? |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by JJYOU: 10:37am On Jan 13, 2009 |
mida:TOPUP IS MAMA ARUGBO you must have done somethings that you felt should not be stated herewhy would this be so? |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by ryker(m): 10:43am On Jan 13, 2009 |
I regret all the times i blanked out, all the times i refused to pick up calls. All the time i was nice so i could sleep with her. I regret it, I can't turn back time. But i can at least stop it. I respect women, even as i adore them. Guess society sort of expects you to 'sow your wild oats'. Closure is hard for guys because when you hurt her, you hurt too,we sometimes, are too cowardly to go through it. ho hum, |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by mida: 10:51am On Jan 13, 2009 |
the unsaid part of any dialogue is as important as the stated part.guys are not as crazy as ladies think and ladies are not too.topup ,i really want us to get in to a deeper discussion on this issue, damikanbi@yahoo.com |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by SHAYSHAY: 3:17am On Jan 14, 2009 |
IF YOU ASK ME GUYS ARE CRAZIER THAN GIRLS ALL THE WAY |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by mida: 10:25pm On Jan 14, 2009 |
shay shay, that is an opinion and it's totally your right. Holding as true that guys are more crazy is a bit biased though.i think the most important thing is to look away from the past and create a vision of meeting someone who is sane enough to tolerate your flaws and excesses because that seems to be the major bone of contention in all instances |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by mida: 12:08am On Jan 18, 2009 |
I think there is little we can do about the past but a lot lies ahead. it's like the slogan in one of the shows i watched, though forgiveness cannot change the past but it can sure change the future.This should be the motivating factor to all the progressives in life.Topup i think while the two of us cannot change the wrong turn of events in relationships that leads to heart break,i guess we should be able to spark the light that will change the world of relationship, especially between a guy and girl.You have the expressive nerves to pull it through topup.please do. i care. |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by topup: 1:00am On Jan 18, 2009 |
ryker: Awwwww, I really want to believe that closure is hard for both people, but I only think it hurts if you put your all into a relationship or you cared for the person in the relationship. All this talk of not wanting to hurt someone, it's a little too late, breaking up with someone hurts, and I seem to favour the side of the person who's been broken up with much more than the other (usually). Anyways, I understand how it could hurt, especially with hindsight and time, reaslising the sheer gravity of your actions and behaviour (both people in relationship). Well, as they say time heals, but to be honest, I think closure can be a great thing for someone who did the damage, a guilty conscience can be a nasty thing! |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by topup: 1:17am On Jan 18, 2009 |
mida: Hmmm, the past has passed and there is nothing you can do to change it, the situation that arises from it on the other hand, can be tackled I guess. I am more than motivated, and excited for whatever is to come next. |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by Taken(m): 1:19am On Jan 18, 2009 |
To: the initiator of this topic, are you in any relationship currently? |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by topup: 10:33pm On Jan 18, 2009 |
In response to taken, why? Is it going to determine/affect your answer?? |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by Taken(m): 10:50pm On Jan 18, 2009 |
Of course! We often say things because of personal experiences whether they have true or false foundations. |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by topup: 6:15am On Jan 20, 2009 |
Taken: I'm not sure if you answered my question, will your answer depend on whether I am single (which I am) or not?? What are we discussing again? |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by Taken(m): 6:20am On Jan 20, 2009 |
intended not to be bashful, I can infer from you answer the reason behind your post - just personal thing. So you are single, so what happened to your last relationship? |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by topup: 4:47pm On Jan 22, 2009 |
Taken: Just personal thing? My last relationship ended , I'm trying not to go on and on about it, and funnily not being on Nairaland as often has made it a lot easier. But, yeah I just stumbled upon some more information and I am kinda annoyed. Anything else you wanted to know, like what he was like, what I was like, why it ended? I'm sure I've said it all before, but I don't mind saying it again. |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by raphrinco: 2:02am On Jul 13, 2011 |
THIS POST WIL MAKE MORE SENSE AND INSTRUCTIVE ,ONLY IF INSULTING AND ABUSING WORDS WILL BE OMITTED .HONESTLY AM A GUY ,BUT AM NOT HERE TO SUPPORT OR BE SENTIMENTAL NO!!! THE MAJOR CAUSE OF WHAT IS HAPPENING TO LADIES AT THE END OF RELATIONSHIPS IS CAUSED BY THEM, HOW AND WHY? 1)HOW MANY LADIES PRAYED TO GOD ON THE MAN THEY ARE RELATING OR MOVING WITH? 2) WERE YOU ABLE TO DICTATE REAL LOVE FROM YOUR GUY AND HAVE YOU REALIZE THAT THIS GUY YOU ARE DATING IS NOT YOUR GUY,YOUR TYPE BUT YOU ARE MANAGING MAYBE BECAUSE OF CONDITION AND YOUR GAINS. 3) DO YOU KNOW THAT SOME LADIES ,HAVE THEIR DREAM MAN ,I MEAN THE KIND OF MAN THEY WANNA CALL THEIR HUSBAND, BUT BECAUSE OF LOVE OF MATERIAL THINGS THEY CHANGED THEIR MIND ,TARGET,DREAM AND PLAN. JUST IMAGINE SUCH MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP. 4) DO YOU REALLY LOVE YOUR MAN OR ARE YOU JUST TRYING TO SEE IF IT CAN HAPPEN? 5) DO YOU DEMAND A LOT AND WHEN YOU DON'T GET IT YOU START BEING ANNOYED OF THAT. 6) DID YOU SHOW THAT YOU LOVE HIM OR YOU LISTENED TO SOME FRIENDS THAT YOU SHOULDN'T FALL SO CHEAP ? IN NIGERIA EMERGENCY AND PREMATURE LOVE IS CAUSING A LOT OF DAMAGE BOTH FOR LADIES AND MEN[b].EXAMPLE)/SOME WERE MOCKED AS STREET WALKERS, AND WHEN THEY EVENTUALLY MAKE IT,THEY WILL LIKE TO RUSH BACK TO THAT PLACE AND SHOW OFF. NOW LISTEN CAREFULLY ,DO YOU KNOW THAT THE GUY THAT CAME BACK TO SEE HIS PEOPLE,CELEBRATE , SHOW OFF ,INVEST ETC .MANY OF THE LADIES MAY CLAIM TO LOVE HIM ,START SOME KIND OF DRESSING ,GREETINGS,LOVE,KINDNESS ,ETC .OKAY IF THE GUY IS A HAD HEARTEN ONE,HE WILL TAKE THE ADVANTAGE AND USELESS MANY OF THE LADIES,MAKE SOME FALSE MARRIAGE PROMISES ,PREGNANCY SAGA ,ETC AM WRITING ALL THESE, BECAUSE AM A MAN AND I KNOW WHAT MEN ARE DOING WHAT SOME ARE PLANNING TO DO . MOREOVER AM IN ABROAD SO AM SPEAKING FROM WHAT I HAVE SEEN IN SOME CASE, BUT IF THERE WAS A REAL LOVE AND ALL OF A SUDDEN ,THE GUY CHANGED THEN HE IS A BAD GUY.I WILL LIKE ALL LADIES TO START GOING FOR THE TRUTH BECAUSE IT ALWAYS TURN AROUND FOR THOSE THAT REFUSED IT.I HONEST WRITE FROM WHAT AM SEEING ,SOME GUYS TRAVELED TO OVERSEA,CALLED THEIR GIRLFRIENDS AND TOLD THEM THE TRUTH THAT THEY HAVE NOT GET A JOB,OR THAT THEY ARE STILL SEARCHING FOR THIS AND THAT ,DO YOU KNOW THAT SOME GIRLS INSTEAD OF ENCOURAGEMENT THEY INSULTED,FORGOT SUCH MEN.I WILL STOP HERE AND CONTINUE NEXT TIME . I LIKE GOD FEARING AND GOOD LADIES. SOME LOVE IS MISSING!!! |
Re: Guys Are Always Too Quick To Assume That We Ladies Are Crazy! by Cholls(m): 11:03pm On Apr 08, 2022 |
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