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Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? - Romance (14) - Nairaland

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Should I Confront The Husband? / My GF Is Cheating On Me With A Soldier, I Want 2go To The Barrack & Confront Him / Should I Confront Her Or Shut Up And Keep Bleeping Her (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by flowers4me(f): 12:58pm On Feb 26, 2015
Yes, confront him but do it calmly so as not to end up with a row or fight.

1 Like

Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by boofydon: 1:30pm On Feb 26, 2015
seseannie:
Tnx 4 all ur responses I spoke with him n [b]he said he left a friend in his house n went to eat n that must have been when the condoms were used[\b]. He said he knew nothing abt the condoms. he. Has been swearing n begging me to believe him. To be candid I don't really know. What to believe
grin LMAO. Your bf no sabi lie. Its impossible for him not to have been aware his friend needed his room to f.uck. cheesy
My friends always tell me when they want to use my room to have sex in order to ensure no disturbance.

Just follow your mind

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Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by Nobody: 1:32pm On Feb 26, 2015
boofydon:
grin LMAO. Your bf no sabi lie. Its impossible for him not to have been aware his friend needed his room to f.uck. cheesy
My friends always tell me when they want to use my room to have sex in order to ensure no disturbance.

Just follow your mind

so true. Its stuff guys would tell each other about
Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by chubbypearl(f): 1:36pm On Feb 26, 2015
Jackeeh:
hmmmmmmm reading through comments uploaded before mine I can't help but wonder: everyone now feel cheating is cool. Men are polygamous in nature, condoms might be used for other reasons( like fetching water), quit snooping around,we are mortals, it must have been used by his friend, don't get him angry when confronting him etc. Why can't men and women strive to be faithful to their partners and quit justifying their evil acts? Being faithful is not impossible. it may be difficult but its attainable. And should you slip and cheat, please don't be smart about it. being defensive and cooking up reasons for cheating ain't cool. when you cheat on your partner, you destroy him or her. if you are caught and instead of being sorry, u feel on top of the world, you reduce your partner to nothing. cheating isn't cool in anyway. be with a partner who makes ur heart beat fast each time u set eyes on him or her. don't settle for less, or money, sex, good looks etc
Gbam!God bless you jare!

1 Like

Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by Neplusultra(f): 1:41pm On Feb 26, 2015
Sister wot were u searching for in d dustbin at first? Confront him but let d used condom lie (sleeping dog)
Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by pwerrymansion(f): 1:42pm On Feb 26, 2015
braine:


She should run to where? Will you date her or marry her? Abi you want her to remain single forever? Na wah for you sha
funny enough she won't remain single 4 life, a better suitor will come sweep her off her feet. If you don't move out from that your assumed comfort zone, u might not see the better opportunity that is out there! tongue
Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by InZA: 1:52pm On Feb 26, 2015
seseannie:
Tnx 4 all ur responses I spoke with him n he said he left a friend in his house n went to eat n that must have been when the condoms were used. He said he knew nothing abt the condoms. he. Has been swearing n begging me to believe him. To be candid I don't really know. What to believe

Take the used condom to the laboratory, let them take a swab from the linings of the condom, there should be enough left for DNA analysis. Tell him to provide a sample of his own sperm, "stash" it in a sterile container and take it with you to the laboratory, tell them to do a matching DNA analysis... Your marriage or introduction should be kept pending until the results are released.

I have a personal principle which many may see as too rigid or even maybe to the low thinking ones, as being hypocritical and the principle is this-if I would hold myself to a stern sense of personal integrity and fidelity, I demand absolutely nothing less than that from anybody that I'm going to be spending the rest of my life with and so for me personally, I wouldn't even go through the "stress" of doing the laboratory tests I suggested, because for me "A suspected cheat is a cheat,". The fact that a girl could even remotely create grounds for me to doubt or question her fidelity to me, is enough reason for me to call it quits but since, by seeking our collective opinions here, it shows that you're more diplomatic than rigidly objective - I think you should go do that laboratory test.

You should want to get married to someone you can absolutely trust, someone that you are sure is committed to you and you alone, and trust me, the actions of your boyfriend have not fed such assertions. He says it was his friend that used the condoms- lies from the Toronto University. Is this the first time his friend is using his house, why was it the period you travelled that his friend chose to come use his house, why was it the time he had to go eat that his friend came to use his house.

And for all the previous comments here suggesting that guys are polygamous in nature, or 99 percent of guys cheat and all other shiity and trashy comments of similar nature - una dey craze!!!. If you have been used to having friends that synonymize the nature of randy dogs and goats, you should know that in the "animal kingdom" there are different breeds/species of animals.

6 Likes

Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by braine(m): 1:54pm On Feb 26, 2015
pwerrymansion:
funny enough she won't remain single 4 life, a better suitor will come sweep her off her feet. If you don't move out from that your assumed comfort zone, u might not see the better opportunity that is out there! tongue

Who told you she may not remain single for life?? I know people who are. And would do anything to be engaged. I don't think you understand that level yet.
Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by Bwaal(m): 1:55pm On Feb 26, 2015
seseannie:
Tnx for all ur responses. @ Chaicover he lives alone. He has gone to watch arsenal match I will ask when he returns
wat did he nw say abi u never ask??
Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by pwerrymansion(f): 2:06pm On Feb 26, 2015
boofydon:
grin LMAO. Your bf no sabi lie. Its impossible for him not to have been aware his friend needed his room to f.uck. cheesy
My friends always tell me when they want to use my room to have sex in order to ensure no disturbance.

Just follow your mind
what do u expect the boyfriend to say? It was me? Pls enough said on this topic cos the OP knows what to do
Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by boofydon: 2:11pm On Feb 26, 2015
pwerrymansion:
what do u expect the boyfriend to say? It was me? Pls enough said on this topic cos the OP knows what to do
Omo ghana, that's why I said the OP should follow her mind. tongue

1 Like

Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by Oiselenjakhian(m): 2:12pm On Feb 26, 2015
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Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by chubbypearl(f): 2:14pm On Feb 26, 2015
sirabbey:
By all means ask him, because if you don't, you will never be able to trust him again and nothing destroys marriage faster than distrust.

When you ask him and it is confirmed he cheated on you, leave him and quit the relationship because not only did he not love you enough, he disrespect you.

Moreso you can't change him and he may not change either when you're married.

On the flip side, when you ask him and he deny ownership of the used condoms and you're fully convinced and persuaded he is telling you the whole truth (don't indulge in self deceit here) then you can go ahead with the marital plan as there is nothing to fear.

Marriage is too crucial to start it on a shaky foundation.

Save yourself future regrets/tears, do it right now.
So true,avoid future regrets

1 Like

Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by hardbody: 2:15pm On Feb 26, 2015
[quote author=Etruth post=31094954] Utter Crap[/quotle]

You get time. If you continue this way you may end up with cardiac arrest. i expressed an opinion not of mine but of someone acting and writing through me. You are responsible for what you understand from my posts.
Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by pwerrymansion(f): 2:24pm On Feb 26, 2015
[quote author=InZA post=31105143]

Take the used condom to the laboratory, let them take a swab from the linings of the condom, there should be enough left for DNA analysis. Tell him to provide a sample of his own sperm, "stash" it in a sterile container and take it with you to the laboratory, tell them to do a matching DNA analysis... Your marriage or introduction should be kept pending until the results are released.

I have a personal principle which many may see as too rigid or even maybe to the low thinking ones, as being hypocritical and the principle is this-if I would hold myself to a stern sense of personal integrity and fidelity, I demand absolutely nothing less than that from anybody that I'm going to be spending the rest of my life with and so for me personally, I wouldn't even go through the "stress" of doing the laboratory tests I suggested, because for me "A suspected cheat is a cheat,". The fact that a girl could even remotely create grounds for me to doubt or question her fidelity to me, is enough reason for me to call it quits but since, by seeking our collective opinions here, it shows that you're more diplomatic than rigidly objective - I think you should go do that laboratory test.

You should want to get married to someone you can absolutely trust, someone that you are sure is committed to you and you alone, and trust me, the actions of your boyfriend have not fed such assertions. He says it was his friend that used the condoms- lies from the Toronto University. Is this the first time his friend is using his house, why was it the period you travelled that his friend chose to come use his house, why was it the time he had to go eat that his friend came to use his house.

And for all the previous comments here suggesting that guys are polygamous in nature, or 99 percent of guys cheat and all other shiity and trashy comments of similar nature - una dey craze!!!. If you have been used to having friends that synonymize the nature of randy dogs and goats, you should know that in the "animal kingdom" there are different breeds/species of animals.
/quote] kiss now that is a real Man talking. I would have married you if only..... cheesy
Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by maysimsimple(m): 2:26pm On Feb 26, 2015
seseannie:
Pls advice me house. I and my boyfriend of 2yrs have fixed a date for our introduction nxt month. And I jst gained admission for my masters programme in another state. I travelled on sunday so that I can start the registration process only for me to come back today n see two used condoms in a nylon inside d kitchen. So many things running in my mind now. I am thinking of quietly quitting the relationship or should I confront him?


ONE WORD... Confront Him b4 He muster a courage to cook up stories for you. This as happened to me before. I went night-out on a Friday. My wife wasn't around, and i have to come home with an ashi. After 2 rounds of u know, i did hide the condom, but unfortunately for me. My wife came home early in the morning before i can say cheese. And she find the condom under the living room rug. She confronted me immediately, i have to go down on my knees to beg her. My advise, go ahead and confront Him and u can have peace of mind........ If she admit, PLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Kindly forgive Him and move on with ur life. But, make sure He promised you not to let it repeat itself. Thats what i did when my wife caught me,. And it will never repeat itself..........

1 Like

Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by sexymoma(f): 2:26pm On Feb 26, 2015
Hey sis... Thought u said you've bin dating this guy for 2yrs now angry
Ok before now..av u ever in anyway caught him doing such thing as in cheating on you..
Fine you met used condoms in his kitchen, u asked him he told u what happened... why not accept what he told you and stylishly monitor him...i nor talk say make u dey stroll abi hire pple make dem dey monitor am ooo... u know him better so u should know..
Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by sexymoma(f): 2:29pm On Feb 26, 2015
InZA:


Take the used condom to the laboratory, let them take a swab from the linings of the condom, there should be enough left for DNA analysis. Tell him to provide a sample of his own sperm, "stash" it in a sterile container and take it with you to the laboratory, tell them to do a matching DNA analysis... Your marriage or introduction should be kept pending until the results are released.

I have a personal principle which many may see as too rigid or even maybe to the low thinking ones, as being hypocritical and the principle is this-if I would hold myself to a stern sense of personal integrity and fidelity, I demand absolutely nothing less than that from anybody that I'm going to be spending the rest of my life with and so for me personally, I wouldn't even go through the "stress" of doing the laboratory tests I suggested, because for me "A suspected cheat is a cheat,". The fact that a girl could even remotely create grounds for me to doubt or question her fidelity to me, is enough reason for me to call it quits but since, by seeking our collective opinions here, it shows that you're more diplomatic than rigidly objective - I think you should go do that laboratory test.

You should want to get married to someone you can absolutely trust, someone that you are sure is committed to you and you alone, and trust me, the actions of your boyfriend have not fed such assertions. He says it was his friend that used the condoms- lies from the Toronto University. Is this the first time his friend is using his house, why was it the period you travelled that his friend chose to come use his house, why was it the time he had to go eat that his friend came to use his house.

And for all the previous comments here suggesting that guys are polygamous in nature, or 99 percent of guys cheat and all other shiity and trashy comments of similar nature - una dey craze!!!. If you have been used to having friends that synonymize the nature of randy dogs and goats, you should know that in the "animal kingdom" there are different breeds/species of animals.
Egbami ontop say person see condom for person house.. if person come see the woman wey person bleep nko.. wetin person go do
Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by InZA: 2:31pm On Feb 26, 2015
[quote author=pwerrymansion post=31106149][/quote]

grin grin

If only what tongue?
Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by InZA: 2:34pm On Feb 26, 2015
sexymoma:
Egbami ontop say person see condom for person house.. if person come see the woman wey person bleep nko.. wetin person go do

The person go send the woman make she go back to the man wey she follow dey knack
Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by Nobody: 2:39pm On Feb 26, 2015
Well ...if you try to keep quiet u may become restless and never trust him. Try to bring up the issue in a more calm & relaxed mood. I'm sure if he will be sorry and ashamed if he is at fault. We all need prayers in our relationships...no one is a saint. Always remember to pray for him&urself....temptation is everywhere!
Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by pwerrymansion(f): 2:42pm On Feb 26, 2015
InZA:


grin grin

If only what tongue?
. cheesy grin if only I can have 2. wink wink
Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by kobonaire(m): 2:45pm On Feb 26, 2015
sucess001:


@ OP...keep running...till you discover you are a marathon runner...


introduction wont change your guy to a saint...


even married people sleep around...maturity is in you gently nudging him back to faithfulness..


forget these sick comments here...guys freaking cheat all the time...its the person dt is caught thats made to look bad...however...its now your responsibility to make him realise his home is with you. you do that by overlooking some of his indiscretions...

He ll realise his folly with time...


but you could listen to these guys and girls firing u up to go against the guy....just remember to ask them to provide you another guy who isn't capable of cheating...else ur loneliness wont be cured by reading comments on NL o...

So your father was cheating all the time too??

Btw, we can all read just fine. Use regular font, it is NL rule #11
Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by InZA: 2:50pm On Feb 26, 2015
pwerrymansion:
. cheesy grin if only I can have 2. wink wink


Lol

I understand wink

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by chubbypearl(f): 2:52pm On Feb 26, 2015
InZA:


Take the used condom to the laboratory, let them take a swab from the linings of the condom, there should be enough left for DNA analysis. Tell him to provide a sample of his own sperm, "stash" it in a sterile container and take it with you to the laboratory, tell them to do a matching DNA analysis... Your marriage or introduction should be kept pending until the results are released.

I have a personal principle which many may see as too rigid or even maybe to the low thinking ones, as being hypocritical and the principle is this-if I would hold myself to a stern sense of personal integrity and fidelity, I demand absolutely nothing less than that from anybody that I'm going to be spending the rest of my life with and so for me personally, I wouldn't even go through the "stress" of doing the laboratory tests I suggested, because for me "A suspected cheat is a cheat,". The fact that a girl could even remotely create grounds for me to doubt or question her fidelity to me, is enough reason for me to call it quits but since, by seeking our collective opinions here, it shows that you're more diplomatic than rigidly objective - I think you should go do that laboratory test.

You should want to get married to someone you can absolutely trust, someone that you are sure is committed to you and you alone, and trust me, the actions of your boyfriend have not fed such assertions. He says it was his friend that used the condoms- lies from the Toronto University. Is this the first time his friend is using his house, why was it the period you travelled that his friend chose to come use his house, why was it the time he had to go eat that his friend came to use his house.

And for all the previous comments here suggesting that guys are polygamous in nature, or 99 percent of guys cheat and all other shiity and trashy comments of similar nature - una dey craze!!!. If you have been used to having friends that synonymize the nature of randy dogs and goats, you should know that in the "animal kingdom" there are different breeds/species of animals.
Lol...a laboratory?haba!that is too extreme...and people are saying am too principled.I wonder what word will be used to describe you.i think you are not considering the op feelings.it will be heart breaking going through the process you have mentioned.Like someone said,her choice will determine her future.i pray she makes the right one.
Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by InZA: 2:58pm On Feb 26, 2015
chubbypearl:
Lol...a laboratory?haba!that is too extreme...and people are saying am too principled.I wonder what word will be used to describe you.i think you are not considering the op feelings.it will be heart breaking going through the process you have mentioned.Like someone said, her choice will determine her future.i pray she makes the right one .


I pray she does too. The guy has to really do alot to make her trust him[again].
Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by chubbypearl(f): 3:00pm On Feb 26, 2015
kobonaire:


So your father was cheating all the time too??

Btw, we can all read just fine. Use regular font, it is NL rule #11
Harsh response...though his/her comment sucks but...

1 Like

Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by chubbypearl(f): 3:13pm On Feb 26, 2015
InZA:



I pray she does too. The guy has to really do alot to make her trust him[again].
The funny thing is he may not really do much...All he may do is to say some words and she will swallow it all...well,that is what love does when you don't love with your head but of course,its only love when you love with your heart...
Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by stan241(m): 3:19pm On Feb 26, 2015
hapyz:
U will b d biggest fool if u quit, bc u will neva find a man dat wil not cheat on u, so my dear go ahead wit ur marriage plans, my hussy slept wit 2 girls on d eve of our marriage they call it bachelor's eve, I stil went ahead wit d marriagee, now I am enjoyinmy marriage wit d best luxury, and my hussy gives me d best of attention a woman needs, so wot am I lookin for again,so dear tik twice bfr makin a deadly mistake dat wil mak u regret, hv it at d back of ur mind dat all men cheats
I'm sorry I'm very very sorry I hope you understand since I'm apologising in advance but...your comment is wrong I don't care if you have been married for a gazillion years but the fact that you forgave your husband who used a bachelors eve to fornicate does not mean every woman should do same because your hubby and the man in question here are two totally different persons..pls as a married woman as it indicates from your post you are expected to give much better advise than what you just posted above

1 Like

Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by Ebukaokeke5: 3:20pm On Feb 26, 2015
U need to be sure u quit for d ryt reasons.I'll advice u confront him and be sure u had a real reason for quitting.
Re: Should I Confront Him Or Walk Away Quietly? by InZA: 3:25pm On Feb 26, 2015
chubbypearl:
The funny thing is he may not really do much...All he may do is to say some words and she will swallow it all...well,that is what love does when you don't love with your head but of course,its only love when you love with your heart...

Yeah well said...But you can not really love without loving yourself first and when you truly love yourself, you would normally and naturally demand that people treat you in a particular way...with utmost respect and regard for your feelings and emotions, after all that's the way you treat yourself, so why settle for anything less from anybody. Even if his "small words" would buy her over, I think if he truly respects her he should still go all the way by calling the friend and the girl the friend had the "stuff" with and bringing them to the OP, so they can openly admit to their "deed". Ofcourse even all that could still lies, but he just has to show her that he can and will go the extra mile to regain his trust.

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