Of course they are. You do know that Nigerian male is a euphemism for inconsiderate pig? Wink

JJYOU:

we tend to abuse whatever we fail to understand its purpose.

we dont buy flower and perfume to appreciate a person that choose to share their life and heart with us because we dont understand the purpose of relationships.
you get someone post to make you think you call it an overkill. what a brilliant mind you have.

dont you know how much you pay for the car you cant relate with? dont you know how much some computers/electronics you use for only hours cost? do you know anything you actively use that dont cost you anything?

why do we think we can get away not appreciating the most valuable people in our lives. you see why we have weak and vulnerable relationships?

HeatFusion:

Long story short, romance is not in most naija men's dictionary

Treetop20:

this is overkill

JJYOU:

and women like i said earlier. our people are not wired to love/ romance. our culture is [i]get what you can and can what you get [/i]as they say

JJYOU:

you guys are asking the wrong question here. the problem is not romance but lack of pure love. love without wrong motives.

i said it before the idea or concept of love is allien to majority of our people. men/women. check many marraige back home and see how many % you think were based on love as you know it. majority are based on convenience of who can pay the bill better or accomodate better or look after the in laws better which are wrong motives.

if phillip can only afford coke and gala and onald can afford mr biggs which of them do you think our people would go for? we are not talking cars or bank balance now.

just the simple idea of loving someone for who they are & not for the sperm or recharge card exchange

many are drawn to the sexual meaning of love and not the others that is where we miss the mark

Sisi Jinx:

No it isn't ! It is absolutely on point!!

Maybe we have been fighting the wrong battle, If we. . . especially men can really understand that marriage isn't just another passing fancy in life like growing a mustache and that women are not just "help mates" or mere vessels to make life easier for them, majority of the discussion we have on the romance section will cease.

We talked about respect and we had guys going on and about how the girl must cook, she must clean, she must this and that nothing about someone understanding them, supporting their dreams, being there for them. . .  Nothing that touches on the deep emotional side of things, just every day convenience.

Again how do we define these things. . . Love, Romance and Respect?  If our definition of love is remotely close to what we have above, certainly cooking cleaning, bowing down and worshiping won't be the first that comes to mind when we talk about expectations neither will it be He must have money, be able to buy me Gucci bag and matching shoes.

HeatFusion:

Atleast the women try.
calling you guys "oga" and all those bullshit, just to make y'all happy. shior

Sisi Jinx:

EXACTLY Ruby, the women try. Most women give up when they don't get anything back, that's why we have many taking a page out of a man's book and going "Oh I will do the this, this and that you want from me but I want to do it in a absolutely, ridiculously expensive environment"

Trade by barter n'yaju ni.

This is why poor men get no loving. He is poor and he still wants to exert "manly Authori-tay".

It's like. . . Ayiiiiin? how does he want it?!!

Treetop20:

i did not read through all that he wrote
i will also like to say that not all men see women as help mates
or mere vessels as you've put it
love does come with romance and respect
that is how it should be. if i am going to be with a woman for life
then i will make it fun for the both of us. this takes work from the both of us
we are talking about marriage here right? i would also say that most men come
here to bluff but are real to their significant others at home.

Sapphic:

Why just marriage. If you are a good man, you are a good man. How likely is it that when you were not romantic during courtship that you would suddenly turn romantic after you have gotten wed? My people have a saying that it is from afternoon that you will know how the night would be. In fact, most men complain that the woman wants to change them after marriage and majority of them change for the worse, dropping whatever pathetic pretense they had at romance the minute they snare a woman. Marriage for many women is a prison, a jail term from which many never return sane.

Sapphic:


All those days of "love is blind" does not wash with many girls nowadays. Ta lo wa nile fun oshi? If men don't like it, they should comot for road abeg.

Treetop20:

i did not read through all that he wrote
i will also like to say that not all men see women as help mates
or mere vessels as you've put it
love does come with romance and respect
that is how it should be. if i am going to be with a woman for life
then i will make it fun for the both of us. this takes work from the both of us
we are talking about marriage here right? i would also say that most men come
here to bluff but are real to their significant others at home.

Treetop20:

while this is true, i will also say that not all women
deserve a good man simple! and when you get those kind of women
you treat them accordingly( i certainly do not mean this in a horrible way either)

Sapphic:

Shuo. . . Ognene Biko.

Sisi Jinx:

EXACTLY Ruby, the women try. Most women give up when they don't get anything back, that's why we have many taking a page out of a man's book and going "Oh I will do the this, this and that you want from me but I want to do it in a absolutely, ridiculously expensive environment"

Trade by barter n'yaju ni.

This is why poor men get no loving. He is poor and he still wants to exert "manly Authori-tay".

It's like. . . Ayiiiiin? how does he want it?!!

HeatFusion:

Atleast the women try.
calling you guys "oga" and all those bullshit, just to make y'all happy. shior

Sapphic:

Not fibbing. Just harsh.

JJYOU:

are u not suppose to be teaching the women how to clean and be submissive? why all these feminists wahala now?

the trouble i have with your women try business is the evil men were all mainly raised by women.  me and my brother were always told by my mum and granny that we were to make sure any woman we come across had life better than theirs.   i blame the women raising up these "monsters" you guys are trying to convince here.

like i said this is above our pay grade. some may have been damaged beyond redemption. if care is not taken women may never have it better than it is today.  i just thank God i was not born in the last 3 decades. so many of you know rights but dont use the word responsibility. loving, graceful, loyal, respectful, being nice and caring to your partner is a responsibility dont you think?

Sisi Jinx:

That was Baby Jinx!! Heheheheheheh

Sisi Jinx:

That was Baby Jinx!! Heheheheheheh

It is the mother's fault. . . Oh come on! That is a cop out if I've ever heard one.

Tell me, how do you suppose the little boy in this scenario will grow up?

On one hand, He watches his dad happily exert his "Authority" over momma, on the other. . . he listens to his mom tell him women are equal, treat them with respect and blah, blah, blah.

Please, I ask you which one of the lessons do you think will take?

As much as we'd like to spin this and place the blame on the mothers, most guys want to be like their fathers. . . it is monkey do what monkey see. In conclusion the ball is back in your court

JJYOU:

forgot you were the home lawyer in the family.  if granny brought up daddy properly i would say. 

seriously my dear i dont like what i see. the younger ones are not helping matters too.

Sisi Jinx:

Oh Yeah, what about Grandpapa??!!! Hmmmm ^{Are we going in circles here?}

Sapphic:

'Fraid so mate.

I am just shocked that in typical Naija fashion, men abrogate all duties to do with bringing up the brats.

JJYOU:

are u not suppose to be teaching the women how to clean and be submissive? why all these feminists wahala now? the trouble i have with your women try business is the evil men were all mainly raised by women. me and my brother were always told by my mum and granny that we were to make sure any woman we come across had life better than theirs. i blame the women raising up these "monsters" you guys are trying to convince here.

like i said this is above our pay grade. some may have been damaged beyond redemption. if care is not taken women may never have it better than it is today. i just thank God i was not born in the last 3 decades. so many of you know rights but dont use the word responsibility. loving, graceful, loyal, respectful, being nice and caring to your partner is a responsibility dont you think?