kokobi99:


15 dollar per hour is not up to 6k per month even if you work full time. Some people can lie eeh

StOla:
Guy! Welcome to Nigeria.

I don't even reply most whatsapp and facebook chats any more. They now lay in wait for me to come online then they attack, knowing you must acknowledge their presence.

I can write an epistle on this topic.
I'm resident in Nigeria so this is even rampant with those with higher earning power within Nigeria. I get to travel a lot, but the internet banking facilities have ensured I keep making expenditures on behalf of other people.

I'm getting really frustrated with always having to promise a portion of my future salary to help a friend or the other. These locusts, coupled with my own economic pursuits, have ensured I barely have enough cash before the next pay check.

The demands never stop. Ranging from the very important to mundane stuff like a jobless man planning a wedding with expenses that rival a society wedding.
So I begin to wonder if people can't just cut their coat according to their cloth.

I have contemplated a change of mobile line, but I'll be losing a lot of contacts who must reach me in the course of my job.

It's a rather sad situation, that requires both financial empowerment of the needy, and social orientation on being self reliant - a trait that is not very African/Nigerian.

I hope Dangote and Adenuga can continue from where I must be stopping. This matter pass my power. I am not Jesus Christ, I can't help everyone I would like too.

I have my own needs too, and dreams to pursue. I also suspect most of these beneficiaries of my magnanimity would not do the same if roles were reversed.

astrodome:
Help!! Friends, family, former school mates and others are killing me with financial demands. Everyday I receive facebook (fb) messages, phone calls, email messages and messages from other communication avenues from family members, friends close and distant, school mates I have not seen in 20 years but with whom I reconnected on fb, and even random fb friends (meaning I do not know them personally but somehow we managed to be friends on fb). They all have the same story: please send me money, anything.

Each month I send nearly 3k to Nigeria and they keep asking for more.

Do they think I pluck money from trees in America?
Do they think every Nigerian in America is doing drugs or credit card fraud to make money?
Are they thinking that since Akin or Emeka made it in America (in many cases by selling drugs and doing credit card fraud), I should also make it and therefore be able to satisfy their unending demands?

How do I explain to them that I have bills (auto, mortgage, water-sewer, electricity, gas, phone, credit card) to pay. And then I have to run my family (of 4) and fuel 2 cars, and on top of that, I have to save also for the rainy day - for when kids get to college.

I am able to resist the random fb friends because I do not have any personal connection with them, but how do I scare the ones I know off without sounding rude and unhelping? I know that when you stop giving, you become an enemy.
Help! Before a fellow nairalander runs amock on the streets of America because of pressure from Nigeria

Just for disclosure: I am well-heeled in the US mid-upper middle class, earning a 6-figure pay, holds a PhD, and involved in R4D activities. But I live in a US city (name withheld) where mortgage payment alone takes 25% of my monthly income. So you can imagine that after paying all bills, I do not have tons of money left over to give out on frequent basis.

Please advise on how to handle this, Naija style . Thanks

sultaan:
Apparently PhD is not given for common sense if you take on their problem it is your problem so there is no need for them to solve it anymore.

Don't log in to Facebook for 3 months the block all calls from Nigeria for 3 months by then your senses would have adjusted to you being responsible to your family they all won't die in 3 months they will have to understand where their lives are if you are incapacitated for extended period. Wean them of free milk and honey.


No insult intended

Jarus:


Lol @ this strategy.

Makes sense.

I'm not so good at saying NO too. What I do is ignore. I hardly pick calls, don't reply facebook PM etc.

As a young man that justed started working in Lagos years back, my father xmas disposition landed me in serious financial crisis.

Now, other than my parents, a couple of siblings,family members once in a while, I no dey share money anyhow again o

I don't even pick calls, as I know 90% of calls from certain people are to ask for money which I find difficult to turn down.

This doesn't however mean I don't give. I actually do, probably more than an average person, but I've become very selective.

I strongly believe "it took a whole village to raise a child" so that child must give back to the "village" (I.e family). As a student in school, I know how I also taxed my brothers and uncles.

astrodome:
I just dropped the phone a few minutes ago after speaking with one of these old friends, got very angry after telling me he lives in Adamawa (Boko Haram) and needs money to relocate to his state of origin. This coming after I sent $700, respectively to a sister and a sister-inlaw this am

Dem wan kill me?

jasmines:
StOla astrodome

I could write an epistle here too. Think over this, if you say yes to everything and everybody, you will say yes to the devil and poverty.
Here's how I handle mine.
Every month, I divide my earnings in %s,
10% is for Charity, when ppl come to me for money I give to 1st come/the most desperate case, the rest must wait till next month. Even if the sky in their village is falling, they must hold it with a bamboo till next month. Then those I'm giving, I tell them I cant dash them the money and they must payback, within 3 - 6months max (just a trick cus I know 80% won't pay back). All those who don't pay back have never received more than 10k after that from me. I tell them point blank that I can't loan them more cus they weren't faithful in d last one. I dont make enemies, I don't spend stupidly.

Meanwhile do u know that $3,000 can get u a nice plot in Lagos every month?

tabletman1:
Tell them you've lost your job and you're now a plate washer.

These people asking you for money will be the same people to blame you for being a useless and careless person if you come back to Nigeria without a solid investment|money[b].

OREMUSSANCTUS:
Carry cocaine to indonesia, if u want to end it once and for all.

astrodome:


Was a research scientist until early last year. Read that post more carefully. Now an industry employee where I get well paid for a good job. Why am I explaining this anyway?

astrodome:
I just dropped the phone a few minutes ago after speaking with one of these old friends, got very angry after telling me he lives in Adamawa (Boko Haram) and needs money to relocate to his state of origin. This coming after I sent $700, respectively to a sister and a sister-inlaw this am

Dem wan kill me?

jaybee3:


Able to send me details via PM?

caprini1:
in summary,you can't give what u don't have! Read one thread I posted,I gave a couple 300k for their rent since 2011 ,they've not paid me back,so I don't lend out monies,I can't let go anymore.........when we were in school,our parent pay our fess and bills ,convenient or not and they don't complain,because of love,giving should be out of love and not social status!

astrodome:


Seriously? You want to add to my woes? I rather you advise me here, openly

StOla:


The problem is posting their demands till the next month.

I have made expenses of over N500K to benefit others just this month because I got some allowances. For this reason I was unable to service a debt of N200K that I owe..

astrodome:
Help!! Friends, family, former school mates and others are killing me with financial demands. Everyday I receive facebook (fb) messages, phone calls, email messages and messages from other communication avenues from family members, friends close and distant, school mates I have not seen in 20 years but with whom I reconnected on fb, and even random fb friends (meaning I do not know them personally but somehow we managed to be friends on fb). They all have the same story: please send me money, anything.

Each month I send nearly 3k to Nigeria and they keep asking for more.

Do they think I pluck money from trees in America?
Do they think every Nigerian in America is doing drugs or credit card fraud to make money?
Are they thinking that since Akin or Emeka made it in America (in many cases by selling drugs and doing credit card fraud), I should also make it and therefore be able to satisfy their unending demands?

How do I explain to them that I have bills (auto, mortgage, water-sewer, electricity, gas, phone, credit card) to pay. And then I have to run my family (of 4) and fuel 2 cars, and on top of that, I have to save also for the rainy day - for when kids get to college.

I am able to resist the random fb friends because I do not have any personal connection with them, but how do I scare the ones I know off without sounding rude and unhelping? I know that when you stop giving, you become an enemy.
Help! Before a fellow nairalander runs amock on the streets of America because of pressure from Nigeria

Just for disclosure: I am well-heeled in the US mid-upper middle class, earning a 6-figure pay, holds a PhD, and involved in R4D activities. But I live in a US city (name withheld) where mortgage payment alone takes 25% of my monthly income. So you can imagine that after paying all bills, I do not have tons of money left over to give out on frequent basis.

Please advise on how to handle this, Naija style . Thanks

astrodome:


You mean I should send myself to my death (for that is the reward for drug trafficking in Indonesia) to avoid them?

astrodome:
Help!! Friends, family, former school mates and others are killing me with financial demands. Everyday I receive facebook (fb) messages, phone calls, email messages and messages from other communication avenues from family members, friends close and distant, school mates I have not seen in 20 years but with whom I reconnected on fb, and even random fb friends (meaning I do not know them personally but somehow we managed to be friends on fb). They all have the same story: please send me money, anything.

Each month I send nearly 3k to Nigeria and they keep asking for more.

Do they think I pluck money from trees in America?
Do they think every Nigerian in America is doing drugs or credit card fraud to make money?
Are they thinking that since Akin or Emeka made it in America (in many cases by selling drugs and doing credit card fraud), I should also make it and therefore be able to satisfy their unending demands?

How do I explain to them that I have bills (auto, mortgage, water-sewer, electricity, gas, phone, credit card) to pay. And then I have to run my family (of 4) and fuel 2 cars, and on top of that, I have to save also for the rainy day - for when kids get to college.

I am able to resist the random fb friends because I do not have any personal connection with them, but how do I scare the ones I know off without sounding rude and unhelping? I know that when you stop giving, you become an enemy.
Help! Before a fellow nairalander runs amock on the streets of America because of pressure from Nigeria

Just for disclosure: I am well-heeled in the US mid-upper middle class, earning a 6-figure pay, holds a PhD, and involved in R4D activities. But I live in a US city (name withheld) where mortgage payment alone takes 25% of my monthly income. So you can imagine that after paying all bills, I do not have tons of money left over to give out on frequent basis.





Its very simple, apart from your parents and your siblings (to an extent) you dont owe any other person any obligation, so just say NO. By the time they ask and you dont give repeatedly they will know you no be mugu again....... you cant give what you dont have

Please advise on how to handle this, Naija style . Thanks

astrodome:


And who will be my new friends on the new fb page? Those ones will not ask for help?

astrodome:

How do I explain to them that I have bills (auto, mortgage, water-sewer, electricity, gas, phone, credit card) to pay. And then I have to run my family (of 4) and fuel 2 cars, and on top of that, I have to save also for the rainy day - for when kids get to

otunbadan:


Can't you just say, No,i don't have that now. Truly you are nice to be really bothered by many people's problems but you are not God. Say no more often.