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Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by astrodome: 9:16pm On Jul 08, 2015
Help!! Friends, family, former school mates and others are killing me with financial demands. Everyday I receive facebook (fb) messages, phone calls, email messages and messages from other communication avenues from family members, friends close and distant, school mates I have not seen in 20 years but with whom I reconnected on fb, and even random fb friends (meaning I do not know them personally but somehow we managed to be friends on fb). They all have the same story: please send me money, anything.

Each month I send nearly 3k to Nigeria and they keep asking for more.

Do they think I pluck money from trees in America?
Do they think every Nigerian in America is doing drugs or credit card fraud to make money?
Are they thinking that since Akin or Emeka made it in America (in many cases by selling drugs and doing credit card fraud), I should also make it and therefore be able to satisfy their unending demands?

How do I explain to them that I have bills (auto, mortgage, water-sewer, electricity, gas, phone, credit card) to pay. And then I have to run my family (of 4) and fuel 2 cars, and on top of that, I have to save also for the rainy day - for when kids get to college.

I am able to resist the random fb friends because I do not have any personal connection with them, but how do I scare the ones I know off without sounding rude and unhelping? I know that when you stop giving, you become an enemy.
Help! Before a fellow nairalander runs amock on the streets of America because of pressure from Nigeria cry cry cry cry

Just for disclosure: I am well-heeled in the US mid-upper middle class, earning a 6-figure pay, holds a PhD, and involved in R4D activities. But I live in a US city (name withheld) where mortgage payment alone takes 25% of my monthly income. So you can imagine that after paying all bills, I do not have tons of money left over to give out on frequent basis.

Please advise on how to handle this, Naija style grin grin. Thanks

46 Likes 13 Shares

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by Nobody: 9:18pm On Jul 08, 2015
Carry cocaine to indonesia, if u want to end it once and for all.

415 Likes 26 Shares

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by Reddit: 9:21pm On Jul 08, 2015
I sensed pride

200 Likes 11 Shares

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by overdrive(m): 9:22pm On Jul 08, 2015
what's ur fb handle let me add u.

284 Likes 9 Shares

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by astrodome: 9:22pm On Jul 08, 2015
OREMUSSANCTUS:
Carry cocaine to indonesia, if u want to end it once and for all.

You mean I should send myself to my death (for that is the reward for drug trafficking in Indonesia) to avoid them?

48 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by astrodome: 9:23pm On Jul 08, 2015
overdrive:
what's ur fb handle let me add u.

Seriously? You want to add to my woes? I rather you advise me here, openly grin grin grin

40 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by astrodome: 9:24pm On Jul 08, 2015
Reddit:
I sensed pride
How so?

30 Likes

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by Nobody: 9:26pm On Jul 08, 2015
@op, so you live in America? Really undecided

64 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by Nobody: 9:27pm On Jul 08, 2015
Eeya..they think you pick dollars on the street,if only they know you wash plate for a living....na joke o!

By the way,what's political about your gist? Move to nairaland general.

56 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by Sunofgod(m): 9:29pm On Jul 08, 2015
astrodome:
Help!! Friends, family, former school mates and others are killing me with financial demands. Everyday I receive facebook (fb) messages, phone calls, email messages and messages from other communication avenues from family members, friends close and distant, school mates I have not seen in 20 years but with whom I reconnected on fb, and even random fb friends (meaning I do not know them personally but somehow we managed to be friends on fb). They all have the same story: please send me money, anything.

Each month I send nearly 3k to Nigeria and they keep asking for more.

Do they think I pluck money from trees in America?
Do they think every Nigerian in America is doing drugs or credit card fraud to make money?
Are they thinking that since Akin or Emeka made it in America (in many cases by selling drugs and doing credit card fraud), I should also make it and therefore be able to satisfy their unending demands?

How do I explain to them that I have bills (auto, mortgage, water-sewer, electricity, gas, phone, credit card) to pay. And then I have to run my family (of 4) and fuel 2 cars, and on top of that, I have to save also for the rainy day - for when kids get to college.

I am able to resist the random fb friends because I do not have any personal connection with them, but how do I scare the ones I know off without sounding rude and unhelping? I know that when you stop giving, you become an enemy.
Help! Before a fellow nairalander runs amock on the streets of America because of pressure from Nigeria cry cry cry cry

Just for disclosure: I am well-heeled in the US mid-upper middle class, earning a 6-figure pay. But I live in a US city (name withheld) where mortgage payment alone takes 25% of my monthly income. So you can imagine that after paying all bills, I do not have tons of money left over to give out on frequent basis.

Please advise on how to handle this, Naija style grin grin. Thanks

Announce your death to them on FB

248 Likes 19 Shares

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by astrodome: 9:30pm On Jul 08, 2015
Sunofgod:


Announce your death to them on FB

You dey craze oh! cheesy cheesy After that what happens?

34 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by Sunofgod(m): 9:31pm On Jul 08, 2015
astrodome:


You dey craze oh! cheesy cheesy After that what happens?

You resurrect with a new FB username and profile,

376 Likes 26 Shares

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by astrodome: 9:34pm On Jul 08, 2015
I just dropped the phone a few minutes ago after speaking with one of these old friends, got very angry after telling me he lives in Adamawa (Boko Haram) and needs money to relocate to his state of origin. This coming after I sent $700, respectively to a sister and a sister-inlaw this am

Dem wan kill me? cry cry cry cry cry cry

24 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by astrodome: 9:35pm On Jul 08, 2015
Sunofgod:


You resurrect with a new FB username and profile,

And who will be my new friends on the new fb page? Those ones will not ask for help?

6 Likes

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by Sunofgod(m): 9:45pm On Jul 08, 2015
astrodome:


And who will be my new friends on the new fb page? Those ones will not ask for help?

Yeah - only associate with rich people - poor people are trouble!

(Bros - Can you lend me like $2000 until payday? Abeg!)

259 Likes 10 Shares

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by delishpot: 9:48pm On Jul 08, 2015
Pkele op. Tell them you are having some problem at work and your boss has not been paying you since then. Inshort, beg them to send some cash to your momsie that you will try to pay later. That you are low on cash qnd momsie needs her monthly allawee.


astrodome:

And who will be my new friends on the new fb page? Those ones will not ask for help?

Ignore friends on FB. Must you have FB pals? I closed my FB acct and opened a new one where only my family members are my friends. I do not post any photos there and I make sure no friends we have in common can add me.

32 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by astrodome: 9:49pm On Jul 08, 2015
Sunofgod:


Yeah - only associate with rich people - poor people are trouble!

(Bros - Can you lend me like $2000 until payday? Abeg!)

Okay thanks for the advise.
Regarding your request, please send your bank account. Also, I will need just 20 dollars to facilitate the process of transferring the money to you cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy

BTW, when is pay day again? Shey you no dey work for Osun State, abi?

154 Likes 11 Shares

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by seedgreen(m): 9:50pm On Jul 08, 2015
Following
Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by Sunofgod(m): 9:54pm On Jul 08, 2015
astrodome:


Okay thanks for the advise.
Regarding your request, please send your bank account. Also, I will need just 20 dollars to facilitate the process of transferring the money to you cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy

BTW, when is pay day again? Shey you no dey work for Osun State, abi?

Abeg - Send via 'Western Union' - my account has some overdraft issues at the moment.

Send me your account details including online logins, pins and password and I'll send the $20.

Once I've found a new job I'll confirm 'payday' with you,

Thanks in advance!

64 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by sultaan(m): 9:55pm On Jul 08, 2015
Apparently PhD is not given for common sense if you take on their problem it is your problem so there is no need for them to solve it anymore.

Don't log in to Facebook for 3 months the block all calls from Nigeria for 3 months by then your senses would have adjusted to you being responsible to your family they all won't die in 3 months they will have to understand where their lives are if you are incapacitated for extended period. Wean them of free milk and honey.


No insult intended

145 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by StOla: 9:56pm On Jul 08, 2015
Guy! Welcome to Nigeria.

I don't even reply most whatsapp and facebook chats any more. They now lay in wait for me to come online then they attack, knowing you must acknowledge their presence.

I can write an epistle on this topic.
I'm resident in Nigeria so this is even rampant with those with higher earning power within Nigeria. I get to travel a lot, but the internet banking facilities have ensured I keep making expenditures on behalf of other people.

I'm getting really frustrated with always having to promise a portion of my future salary to help a friend or the other. These locusts, coupled with my own economic pursuits, have ensured I barely have enough cash before the next pay check.

The demands never stop. Ranging from the very important to mundane stuff like a jobless man planning a wedding with expenses that rival a society wedding.
So I begin to wonder if people can't just cut their coat according to their cloth.

I have contemplated a change of mobile line, but I'll be losing a lot of contacts who must reach me in the course of my job.

It's a rather sad situation, that requires both financial empowerment of the needy, and social orientation on being self reliant - a trait that is not very African/Nigerian.

I hope Dangote and Adenuga can continue from where I must be stopping. This matter pass my power. I am not Jesus Christ, I can't help everyone I would like too.

I have my own needs too, and dreams to pursue. I also suspect most of these beneficiaries of my magnanimity would not do the same if roles were reversed.

132 Likes 12 Shares

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by ice25(f): 9:58pm On Jul 08, 2015
LEARN TO SAY NO..IT WILL SAVE YOU A LOT OF TROUBLE.....

82 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by astrodome: 10:01pm On Jul 08, 2015
sultaan:
[b]Apparently PhD is not given for common sense [/b]if you take on their problem it is your problem so there is no need for them to solve it anymore.

Don't log in to Facebook for 3 months the block all calls from Nigeria for 3 months by then your senses would have adjusted to you being responsible to your family they all won't die in 3 months they will have to understand where their lives are if you are incapacitated for extended period. Wean them of free milk and honey.


No insult intended

You do have to be rude to make an otherwise sensible point, yes?

8 Likes

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by chigoizie7(m): 10:01pm On Jul 08, 2015
Oga, change ur phone, change ur fb and other social media. Avoid all of them for 2months, no pick there calls, no reply them.
Thank me later.

8 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by astrodome: 10:03pm On Jul 08, 2015
chigoizie7:
Oga, change ur phone, change ur fb and other social media. Avoid all of them for 2months, no pick there calls, no reply them.
Thank me later.

Some of them include relatives I am obligated to help. Na person train me na grin grin grin? How can I shut them all out? I understand your point, of course. Thanks

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by astrodome: 10:03pm On Jul 08, 2015
Sunofgod:


Abeg - Send via 'Western Union' - my account has some overdraft issues at the moment. Send me your account details including online logins, pins and password and I'll send the $20.

Once I've found a new job I'll confirm 'payday' with you,

Thanks in advance!

EFCC here is your target grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

6 Likes

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by astrodome: 10:05pm On Jul 08, 2015
ice25:
LEARN TO SAY NO..IT WILL SAVE YOU A LOT OF TROUBLE.....

Of course, I say no more often than I say yes. But the ''yes'' is still huge.

4 Likes

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by Nobody: 10:07pm On Jul 08, 2015
astrodome:
I just dropped the phone a few minutes ago after speaking with one of these old friends, got very angry after telling me he lives in Adamawa (Boko Haram) and needs money to relocate to his state of origin. This coming after I sent $700, respectively to a sister and a sister-inlaw this am

Dem wan kill me? cry cry cry cry cry cry
SCAM ALERT

Post this trash in the right section (crime) so that EFCC can monitor your handle

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by chigoizie7(m): 10:16pm On Jul 08, 2015
astrodome:


Some of them include relatives I am obligated to help. Na person train me na grin grin grin? How can I shut them all out? I understand your point, of course. Thanks


Ok, those relatives, if they request for $100 , just give em $40. With that, u re not cutting them off, but ending a message.


If u keep refuting all our advices, then u certainly don't need them, why creating a thread when u actually know u can't stop giving them?(u re obligated,na person train u, so stop complaining bro) No amount of advice we give u here will still help. So, why beating it? Ur mind is already mad up to keep giving, so? Don't go against ur conscience, I personally will not go against mine, I only dropped and advice because u asked for one.

57 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by Nobody: 10:20pm On Jul 08, 2015
Lalasticlala
Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by Sijo01(f): 10:26pm On Jul 08, 2015
Hmmm

23 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Help! Friends, Family & Former School Mates From Nig Are Killing Me With Demands by tabletman1: 10:27pm On Jul 08, 2015
Tell them you've lost your job and you're now a plate washer.

These people asking you for money will be the same people to blame you for being a useless and careless person if you come back to Nigeria without a solid investment|money.

49 Likes 3 Shares

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