Debo, I'm not trying to bring out his faults cos like I said I'm not perfect but I used that, that if i could forgive him for that and all, what could i have done, that he could not forgive me or talk to me if I was actually wrong which I'm not.

really i still dont understand wat kind of person yu are sha! yu sed yu asked him and he just apologised and apologised
wat is the meanin of dat?
its like me askin askin for my mony and yu kip smiling widout givin it to me-wat is dat again i repeat?
he ddnt even giv yu a line of lie as to wia he was for the 3 months-he just simply apologises everytime and yu jst accepted abi?- shows the kind of person you are sha

if yu did accept, den y go and be ridiculous by being devious like dat- doesnt make too much sense
according to yu madam, everytin was even rosy sef but yet you still arranged all that james bond moves-for wat na?

antecedents? didnt you accept him back
if God based his relationship with you based on yur antecedents, i wonder wia you wld be-yet yu call God to your defence
i bow for you o!


one of my guys here says he would do same to you, Becos if you cld pull off those james-diva moves den you cld kill him-well dats his own opinion

really i  wonder what kind of relationship you guys had

i think in actual fact you should move on cos you dont seem like someone who can stand her ground to demand what is rightfully hers insted you would prefer to go splinter cell on the guy- its a scary thing you did when one comes to analyse really

Isu ata:

really i still dont understand wat kind of person yu are sha! yu sed yu asked him and he just apologised and apologised
wat is the meanin of dat?
its like me askin askin for my mony and yu kip smiling widout givin it to me-wat is dat again i repeat?
he ddnt even giv yu a line of lie as to wia he was for the 3 months-he just simply apologises everytime and yu jst accepted abi?- shows the kind of person you are sha

if yu did accept, den y go and be ridiculous by being devious like dat- doesnt make too much sense
according to yu madam, everytin was even rosy sef but yet you still arranged all that james bond moves-for wat na?

antecedents? didnt you accept him back
if God based his relationship with you based on yur antecedents, i wonder wia you wld be-yet yu call God to your defence
i bow for you o!


one of my guys here says he would do same to you, Becos if you cld pull off those james-diva moves den you cld kill him-well dats his own opinion

really i wonder what kind of relationship you guys had

i think in actual fact you should move on cos you dont seem like someone who can stand her ground to demand what is rightfully hers insted you would prefer to go splinter cell on the guy- its a scary thing you did when one comes to analyse really

Really?? Explain to me cos I'm feeling much worse

diva
you are here really when you are supposed to be hunting your boyfrend down and demanding an explanation
do you know y you need one? without it you would feel so useless and not appreciated and it will take alot out of the next true guy to break you and for you to enjoy true love again

you guys have been dating for 3 yrs haba- its like a right to his balls if you ask me- you are playing ot like you guys just met. if anybody needs to be undignified in getting an explanation to burning questions that will affect your life-its you. iam animated about dis becos of what i had to go thru to break down all the low esteem wall in my g/f becos of things like dis. you deserve an explanation for that three months if its so damn important o you


and now ypu hav playd it soooo wrong by being jame-diva 010-lol dats y i think you need to apologise for dat to warm yur way and demand yur answers

.

If the fellow is getting annoyed over simple questions then he's not a serious type and I doubt he has serious plans for you.

Very true.

All this merry go round questions you are trying to get answers to would only cause you more heartache since it has been proven at the slightest questions he becomes provoked. He is not a husband just an ordinary boyfriend. You are better off wthout him. Have some pride!!!

I do not blame you for forgiving him in the first place. You are human. But if he doesn't respect you, talks to you anyhow like Nigerian football commentators, it's best to shut him out of your life.

Isu ata:

diva
you are here really when you are supposed to be hunting your boyfrend down and demanding an explanation
do you know y you need one? without it you would feel so useless and not appreciated and it will take alot out of the next true guy to break you and for you to enjoy true love again

you guys have been dating for 3 yrs haba- its like a right to his balls if you ask me- you are playing ot like you guys just met. if anybody needs to be undignified in getting an explanation to burning questions that will affect your life-its you. iam animated about dis becos of what i had to go thru to break down all the low esteem wall in my g/f becos of things like dis. you deserve an explanation for that three months if its so damn important o you


and now ypu hav playd it soooo wrong by being jame-diva 010-lol dats y i think you need to apologise for dat to warm yur way and demand yur answers

I think what you said here makes sense, It's just how to go about it and if I may ask,  what things did u go thru with ur girl?\

And it is very important because how could I have been sure that he can't just wake up the next day and behave like that, so I definitely deserve to know.

U can see by her last post that the girl needs to be completely ridiculed before she moves on. How come the guy didn't take the "3 years" into consideration before he went galavanting with someone else? What kinda answers are you searching for? You're weak home girl! WEAK!!!

@stillwater and Tpia

Easier said than done, I'm moving on but still a part of me is in denial if this is really true, How can after 3 yrs? this is how it would end? this way?

@Tstark
I have nothing 2 say 2 u now

@Diva
Go make yourself a footmat then, and make sure you change your screen name cos you aint no Diva. Diva's usually have some pride in them. It's women like you that hang onto abusive bf's/husbands. Nuff said- i'm out!

@Tstark
Honestly I don't blame you for what u said/think, maybe if u r in my shoes, u'll understand better but at the same time I'm not hanging on. I don't know where ur anger towards me is coming from, but I never mentioned, I'm hanging on or still moving with him

The best advice anybody can give you is to forget about him totally.
There is no point in wondering how he could do what he did after 3 years e.t.c
Just forget him.
I know it is easier said than done but you really have no other option unless you want to be a laughing stock

Are these enough proofs that I am right and there is something going cos some of you are against me, telling me how sure am I?

1) why did she change the profile pic with one with the both of them?

2) Why did she add new pics of him, and them and writing "My baby and I" with other people commenting love words? even one saying no wonder you said you missed him the other day, you travelled

3) This was during that 2-3months period

4) Him commenting on one of her pics, "u go baby, nice hair luv" her reply "baby u r my inspiration" though i didn't take this one as anything serious

5) What would make him this MAD like i had killed someone if he wasn't actually having something with her?

ok

@Diva1

For real, a guy will always shift his guilt onto the girl. Pride won't let a man admit he messed up bad and beg to be forgiven.  .  .instead he will suddenly develop this anger from nowhere and make it out to be the girl's fault every step of the way.
The only instance when a man will deviate from this is if he truly loves you and doesn't want you to leave him.

Quit beating yourself up over it.  .  .you did nothing wrong. A man in love would be glad you thought highly enough of him to publicize your pictures together. If he wasn't exactly glad, he would let you know nicely so your feelings don't get too bruised.

Your boyfriend is guilty, scared and confused. The confused part is what screams.  .  .give this dude the wide berth he deserves. Spare your heart the avoidable aches.

@Debo
She said she used a female name. . .wasn't pretending to be him.
And what's wrong with posting her boyfriend's picture on fb? Unless he categorically told her not to and she did. Besides, if you loved a girl and she posted ur picture on fb behind your back, would you honestly go on a mad raging rampage instead of calmly telling her you don't like it?

Look at this from the girl's point of view here ,not just the guy's. Hez got guilt written all over him from her story. And sufficient lack of respect for her too. I know the whole 'Women's liberation' thing gets over-hyped sometimes, but there are some ways a woman simply should not be treated by a man who claims to love her, at least not without strong cause.

His reactions to me are way too dramatic to be normal for a man ''in love''.

Diva1 is still asking questions?

lol @ Davidylan

@ Cristalz
Thanks for understanding and also looking at it from my own point of view cos that's exactly what and how I felt. If I offended him, what was so grave/serious 'bout it n vice versa, why he wouldn't want the pic.

Bunmii, I guess that's just what is left for me to do but like you said, easier said than done.

The story sounds more and more improbable.

He has a page, I created a page with a picture of "ME" "MOI" WITH HIM. WE took as a couple, with a female name. I used a female name, I just didn't want to use my real name incase, they didn't know me or dig out my personal stuff.

You created a profile as a 'girl' and then she starts flirting with you on facebook knowing you are a girl?

Is it me or this story is not making sense somehow?

1) why did she change the profile pic with one with the both of them?

2) Why did she add new pics of him, and them and writing "My baby and I" with other people commenting love words? even one saying no wonder you said you missed him the other day, you travelled

3) This was during that 2-3months period

4) Him commenting on one of her pics, "u go baby, nice hair luv" her reply "baby u r my inspiration" though i didn't take this one as anything serious

5) What would make him this MAD like i had killed someone if he wasn't actually having something with her?

I don't know why she did what she did - and it has no relevance on anything IMO. So she added new pics of him simply because you created a profile and added her? What did she have to gain from this I wonder

People can comment love words - that's their prerogative. In all this, apart from getting angry, you haven't shown how your boyfriend did ANYTHING to prove he had something with the girl. Because some random people you didn't know were using 'love words' doesn't really mean anything dear.

Are you saying you did this facebook profile thing during the 2-3 month period?

You violated his privacy - you took something between the both of you (your trust issues) and took it to the internet. Is he supposed to be pleased that his girlfriend is being devious and instead of asking him direct questions decides to go round his back?

I am not saying he has cheated or not cheated with this girl - but you have no proof of anything. I repeat - this approach will always backfire. If you doubt your man, ask him to his face and take him at his word. If he is trifling, he'll show himself up without you investigating.

@Debosky
I don't know how well to explain it to you but I'll try cos you don't seem to understand it. Ok, you suspect your girl is cheating or sumthing and then you suspect a particular boy on her page, a friend. Then you decide to change your profile pic to one with two of you as a couple and the guy asks you for friend request. He changes his own profile pic to one with your girl and him, with other pics, saying him and his baby. Other people commenting, two lovebirds, cute couple and all,

Secondly ok assuming he isn't cheating, what would make him so mad? and when i tried explaining to him and talking to him, he just yelled and called all sorts and hung up. What do u want to do or believe in this instance?

.

@ tpia maybe I don't.

From what I can see, this was simply a 'bragging contest' on facebook between two girls - who can exhibit that she 'owns' the man - essentially a childish exercise. Diva post one pic, actress posts two, gets her friends to make comments 'oh what a lovely couple' and so she wins.

Sorry if I don't regard facebook games as reality.

What I'm trying to highlight is that is is essentially playing games For a 3 year relationship with talk of having someone's baby, if you can't confront him directly to answer your question and have to resort to facebook games, then something is SERIOUSLY [/b]wrong.

From what you have said - the girl wants to be with him and allows people to comment 'cute couple'. Once again, for a 3 YEAR relationship, what does that mean? Did [b]he make any move on her fb page that made you suspicious

What would make him so mad? Very simple - your evident distrust, your decision to go, behind his back with the motive of 'finding out' if this girl was the one you think he was cheating with (that is if he was cheating in the first place). Your inability to share your doubts or ask him to clear things up.

If you suspect your partner is cheating - confront them SIMPLE. I simply do not believe in all this behind the scenes business, it takes away from your personal integrity. You either trust someone or you back out of the relationship. Either way, any doubts or concerns should be dealt with WITHIN the relationship, because that is the root of the problem
His reaction is OTT yes, but at the root of it, is the manner in which you carried this 'expose' of yours. He has guilt written all over him? Maybe - but I'd rather catch a thief at the elbow like Yoruba people say, than catch a tip of the finger with room for denial.

tpia:

I dont think you understand women.

Do they ever? typical naija man

debosky:

@ tpia maybe I don't.

From what I can see, this was simply a 'bragging contest' on facebook between two girls - who can exhibit that she 'owns' the man - essentially a childish exercise. Diva post one pic, actress posts two, gets her friends to make comments 'oh what a lovely couple' and so she wins.

Sorry if I don't regard facebook games as reality.

What I'm trying to highlight is that is is essentially playing games For a 3 year relationship with talk of having someone's baby, if you can't confront him directly to answer your question and have to resort to facebook games, then something is SERIOUSLY [/b]wrong.

From what you have said - the girl wants to be with him and allows people to comment 'cute couple'. Once again, for a 3 YEAR relationship, what does that mean? Did [b]he make any move on her fb page that made you suspicious

What would make him so mad? Very simple - your evident distrust, your decision to go, behind his back with the motive of 'finding out' if this girl was the one you think he was cheating with (that is if he was cheating in the first place). Your inability to share your doubts or ask him to clear things up.

If you suspect your partner is cheating - confront them SIMPLE. I simply do not believe in all this behind the scenes business, it takes away from your personal integrity. You either trust someone or you back out of the relationship. Either way, any doubts or concerns should be dealt with WITHIN the relationship, because that is the root of the problem
His reaction is OTT yes, but at the root of it, is the manner in which you carried this 'expose' of yours. He has guilt written all over him? Maybe - but I'd rather catch a thief at the elbow like Yoruba people say, than catch a tip of the finger with room for denial.

So what are you implying?? That i should confront him again or what?? And if he really loved me, what is so difficult for him to talk to me instead of fighting and we resolve the issue?

Diva1 i tire for you. You are still thinking about this man who shld have become history? A man who is angry at pictures of both of you together is a danger to your sanity. Find another dude asap.

davidylan:

Diva1 i tire for you. You are still thinking about this man who shld have become history? A man who is angry at pictures of both of you together is a danger to your sanity. Find another dude asap.

Ohhh, so she should leave him. But the other girl needs to stick with the man that still loves his ex, not lust or like o, but love.

Hiss

Sadly that's the way women tend to judge men's actions  - 'if you really loved me you wouldn't do x or y', while men don't tend to process things that same way.

That really isn't the point. I don't think there is anything to be gained from this relationship, but I'd like you to learn something  - be direct and open in your relationships. Life is truly too short to be playing games and hoping to trip him up by investigating his facebook or always checking his phone or monitoring his movements.  

You seem to really like this guy and it's a shame, BUT I don't think he wants to resolve it, and I don't think you should even consider it. Move on with your life.

I believe the fault from your side (don't worry his are numerous and likely worse) was not confronting him initially, but that is water under the bridge. He says he doesn't want you in his life anymore and his behaviour is unacceptable anyways, so why bother? Move on and learn from this whole incident - if you ever have unresolved issues, please discuss with your loved one and try your best to resolve it that way without resorting to external parties.

Deboskyyy

Maybe I would listen to your word if u really understand my post cos it seems it's not very clear to you and nobody was investigating his face book and he is the one not being open in this relationship.

It's clear babes - you created a female profile with his picture to 'bait' your rival, she responded and posted pics of him, and you concluded there must have been something up.

He definitely wasn't open, but you failed in the sense that, if he refused to be open, why be in such a relationship in the first place? Walk away rather than demean yourself into competing with some wannabe actress hoochie mama.

i sorta agree with debo here . . . the facebook stuff wasnt necessary. You should have had a heart to heart with him to know where you stood.

davidylan:

i sorta agree with debo here . . . the facebook stuff wasnt necessary. You should have had a heart to heart with him to know where you stood.

It may not have been necessary but he pushed me and this. So this problem is too large to resolve