debosky:

You have blown me away with your peerless intelligence. *Rolls Eyes*

I agree with secretz. . . 'cheating' is a very vague word when actual boundaries such as sex or spending 'excessive' time together have not been breached. Simply thinking a lot about another woman might be termed 'cheating', but if that leads you to realise and pour more love and attention on your partner, is it cheating then?

As long as the cheating has not gotten 'out of hand' - sex, physical intimacy, excessive communication, it should be dealt with by the individual committing the cheating.

Sometimes a simple 'mistake' such as getting too close to someone else will do more harm than good if the other partner is involved, hence if your aim is to progress the relationship, such information should be kept from the partner - as long as it is fully resolved and unlikely to be a problem in future and will not be heard by the spouse later on.

lol preach on brother, but if it leaves you wanting to pour more love on your partner, is it then guilt? or are you imagining that your partner is the other person? Like you're doing to your partner what you wish you could be doing to other person? hmmmmmm

"You have blown me away with your peerless intelligence"- I just love it!!!

maray:

you are a cheat,only if u are caught.

Nice one. Thats a fact.

Secretz:

lol preach on brother, but if it leaves you wanting to pour more love on your partner, is it then guilt? or are you imagining that your partner is the other person? Like you're doing to your partner what you wish you could be doing to other person? hmmmmmm

I meant if it leads you to realise you had been slipping 'out of love' with your partner so you get re-inspired to put your all into the relationship and recapture what you had before. I'm not talking about 'screwing Sheniqua imagining its Halle' or guilty conscience of trying to make up for previous sins.

Just a kick in the behind if you like, something that makes you realise you need to focus more on your partner.

debosky:

I meant if it leads you to realise you had been slipping 'out of love' with your partner so you get re-inspired to put your all into the relationship and recapture what you had before. I'm not talking about 'screwing Sheniqua imagining its Halle' or guilty conscience of trying to make up for previous sins.

Just a kick in the behind if you like, something that makes you realise you need to focus more on your partner.

Yeah I get you now-Makes sense! Aint nothing wrong in that

u are a cheat in as much as your conscience convicts you of one .

I think cheating can only be defined partner to partner.

What of open r/s?

What they do I would consider cheating, but it is not for them.

I believe this is one of the conversations you have with your bf/gf before they become your spouse. What men and women consider cheating my drastically be different and therefore should not be assumed. Each couple should decide for themselves, thru communication, what is acceptable and what is it.

It should also be discussed the result of cheating and if you want to know or not.

I have told my hubby, dont ever tell me. If you do it, you must take it to your grave, because I will be forced to leave you. I dont want to ever have to play in my mind the movie of my man having any type of affair with another woman, not an EA or PA.

true talk

We all define cheating in various ways. And different things can make us cheat. But like sistawoman said it really depends on the partners involved. My angel once asked me if she could go into this glo chatting thing. I simply asked her to meet who? And she have up the idea. In our world today cheating is now an accepted norm. So the issue of conscience is not really there. Therefore for me cheating is only when you are caught. Which will definately happen. One way or another you will pay for your sins. It is always good to be off with the old love before starting with the new. As for me obey the last commandment "thou shall not be caught" But like the saying "rules are meant to be broken"

@Poster,
I personally believe Cheating is doing anything that you wouldn't want your partner to know you do, or that you wouldn't do if your partner was there - flirting, kissing, texting, internet, porn, etc,
An affair is cheating as well, but is also an on-going relationship with someone outside of the marriage. It takes the cheating person interest away from the marriage.
An emotional affair is cheating, even if sex isn't involved - you'd be directing your interest, your attention, your communication to the other person instead of your spouse.

IFELEKE:

@Poster,
I personally believe Cheating is doing anything that you wouldn't want your partner to know you do, or that you wouldn't do if your partner was there - flirting, kissing, texting, internet, porn, etc,
An affair is cheating as well, but is also an on-going relationship with someone outside of the marriage. It takes the cheating person interest away from the marriage.
An emotional affair is cheating, even if sex isn't involved - you'd be directing your interest, your attention, your communication to the other person instead of your spouse.

Exactly!!

IFELEKE:

@Poster,
I personally believe Cheating is doing anything that you wouldn't want your partner to know you do, or that you wouldn't do if your partner was there - flirting, kissing, texting, internet, porn, etc,
An affair is cheating as well, but is also an on-going relationship with someone outside of the marriage. It takes the cheating person interest away from the marriage.
An emotional affair is cheating, even if sex isn't involved - you'd be directing your interest, your attention, your communication to the other person instead of your spouse.

Not necessarily.

I may feel like doing this and thus is not cheating or that it should not bother my partner if i do this but in fact it maybe considered cheating to him.

For instance:
I chat on yahoo and sometimes turn on my webcam. It was not until hubby came home one day and the cam was on that we had the conversation about caming and chatting and such. I did not have a problem with it or find anything wrong with it but he did. Therefore a compromise had to be made and he could have considered such as cheating but never shared it with me.

Well, sometimes cheating simply means injustices and i beleive there are
many forms of cheating. Example in politics was like days of Sanni Abacha.

tanyisimon:

that is why i say no be all craze people dey express.

well done! U have placed your first post!

Cheating was when i read a sent message on my husband's phone to a number which read ''I cant wait to see you, i dreamt of you yesterday, i love you baby'. My dear husband actually slept on the same bed with me probably with his arms around me while dreaming of another baby. That was the meaning of cheating.

ooohh dear, pele, ma binu.

sistawoman:

Not necessarily.

I may feel like doing this and thus is not cheating or that it should not bother my partner if i do this but in fact it maybe considered cheating to him.

You are quoting me off context,
I said

IFELEKE:

@Poster,
I personally believe Cheating is doing anything that you wouldn't want your partner to know you do, or that you wouldn't do if your partner was there - flirting, kissing, texting, internet, porn, etc,

I wasn't generalizing like you made it look,you will agree with me that anything you can't do(e.g the ones I mentioned above)in the presence of your partner will best be described as Cheating.

IFELEKE:

You are quoting me off context,
I saidI wasn't generalizing like you made it look,you will agree with me that anything you can't do(e.g the ones I mentioned above)in the presence of your partner will best be described as Cheating.

Actually what I am saying is that in my example i did not believe that what i was doing was considered cheating but he did. Thus i did not close my chat windows or shut down my cam when he came in the room. But he considered it cheating. So not necessarily will your partner consider it cheating because you consider it cheating.

One cant impose their belief system on someone else.

That is like saying because they dont react the same way I do that must mean they dont love me or dont care. People have different reactions to different things. The need for communicating with your spouse or gf/bf just what you consider cheating is vital in making sure there are no misunderstandings.

to my own perception i think cheating is wen u are doing something agnst anoder prson's will without his or her awarness. simply put dat it the misuse of one's oppurtunity at d moment

sistawoman:

The need for communicating with your spouse or gf/bf just what you consider cheating is vital in making sure there are no misunderstandings.

Solid point. Let us leave gf/bf out of this discussion. Those are open ended r/ships. . . . .anything can happen.

I will like to read more contributions from married people only.

ono:

Solid point. Let us leave gf/bf out of this discussion. Those are open ended r/ships. . . . .anything can happen.

I will like to read more contributions from married people only.

I mention bf/gf because these type of things should be discussed BEFORE marriage not after. Thus avoiding misunderstandings in marriage.

[color=#990000][/color]TO ME, CHEATING IS CHEATING IN WHATEVER FORM YOU TEND TO DISCRIBE IT; BUT IT BECOMES REAL WHEN YOU TEND TO DWELL IN IT; ASK ANYONE YOU KNOW, WHATEVER SPIRITUAL STATUS YOU HAVE, YOU TEND TO FALL IN TO IT; IT'S THE SYSTEM OF THE WORLD, YOU ONLY GET OUT IF YOU HAVE NOT TRAINED/NATURED YOUR MIND TO IT.

YOU CAN LOOK AT A GUY/GIRL BECAUSE YOU'RE ATTRACTED AT THAT MOMENT FOR WHATEVER ATTRACTS YOU AT FIRST; BUT YOU START CHEATING THE MOMENT YOU GIVE YOUR HEART TO THAT PLEASURE-NOTICE SENT TO YOUR BRAIN AT THAT MOMENT; WHICH COULD IN TURN LEAD TO SLEEPING WITH X, PROBABLY FANTASYZING AND THE WORST KILLING TO BE WITH,

IF IT'S GETTING TOWARDS THIS LAST STAGE DESCRIBED, YOU'LL DEFINATELY NEED THERAPY (sounds weird, yes, but real),

FINALLY, I BELIEVE WE CAN ALL TRIAN OUR MIND WHEN THESE THOUGHTS CREEP IN; THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY; OR SEE THE OTHER PERSON AS A TABOO THAT WILL BE THE LAST THING YOU'LL ENCOUNTER!

7eleven:

cheating is cheating when the you cheat and you know you have cheated and you do not want your spouse to know that u have cheated, that's cheating.

The level of English comprehension on nairaland is shocking.

How do you explain a word using the exact same word? I will assume you were carried away and give you one more chance to show you do have some intellect somewhere in there.

debosky:

The level of English comprehension on nairaland is shocking.

How do you explain a word using the exact same word? I will assume you were carried away and give you one more chance to show you do have some intellect somewhere in there.

LMAO , you always make my day!

debosky:

The level of English comprehension on nairaland is shocking.

How do you explain a word using the exact same word? I will assume you were carried away and give you one more chance to show you do have some intellect somewhere in there.

lol

cheating is cheating when u're are cheating and u know it

over time, i've come to view cheating simply as giving to some other person what you would otherwise have given to your partner. it could be any number of things , as long as what you have given would have denied your partner access to that particular thing, then you have cheated. but importantly, i think the question should be why do people cheat? sometimes, the end result of cheating may be good or bad. it could be good if it helps you appreciate the good in your partner & bad if it only brings hurt to you and/or your partner,

my 2 cents

Cheating is anything that U do to someone else that U wont do in the presence of your partner.

Well-said. This is exactly what cheating in a relationship is!!!!!!!

Ifez:

Well-said. This is exactly what cheating in a relationship is!!!!!!!

I disagree.

@Ifez
i disagree with you too

you are a cheat,only if u are caught.

@maray,
Keep at it sister. Afterall, e no get meter No wonder there are more
women cheats than men these days

Look folks, cheating to my own view starts when we suspect our girl/boy friend.
sometimes, he will not wish 2 tell u all about himself.In ur mind u'll be thinking: "this guy as a skeleton in his cupboard".
And you'll start suspecting. you feel cheated & would want to "pay him in his own coin".
that alone will cause you to start cheating.
This happened to me! Pls guys and chicks, make una stop to dey suspect.