henryhemon:


Those dos and d on'ts people still carry them out but get heart broken. So yes I go with you.

Nearly everyone plays the fool when it comes to matters of the heart. It is one aspect of our existence that is so nebulous. Read all the books on relationships all you want, adhere to infinite rules all you can, you may still end up with a sucker punch delivered from Love's left arm.

That's just the way it is. This assertion of mine doesn't negate the fact that adhering to certain rules with regards to relationship do help but, I posit that one shouldn't build their love life around textbook love prescriptions.

Oliviaarims:



Market value ke! What am I selling? Lol

You haven't answered my question as yet.

Bollinger:
I could have summarized all this for the OP with one sentence. Be honest and be yourself and everything will be fine.

That's too cliché and would almost not make any difference. A little expatiation does a world of good sometimes.

Oliviaarims:



Not following one's own advice .. Or perhaps totally missing out on one very vital key peculiar to a given relationship.

hmmm

safarigirl:
i don't have one

ok, i tink i'd device a means

4C2215131:


Nearly everyone plays the fool when it comes to matters of the heart. It is one aspect of our existence that is so nebulous. Read all the books on relationships all you want, adhere to infinite rules all you can, you may still end up with a sucker punch delivered from Love's left arm.

That's just the way it is. This assertion of mine doesn't negate the fact that adhering to certain rules with regards to relationship do help but, I posit that one shouldn't build their love life around textbook love prescriptions.

Ain't saying they are bad,am saying they might work for some folks cuz no relationship is same but once one is insincere in a relationship dos and donts won't work no matter how much you follow them.

4C2215131:


Nearly everyone plays the fool when it comes to matters of the heart. It is one aspect of our existence that is so nebulous. Read all the books on relationships all you want, adhere to infinite rules all you can, you may still end up with a sucker punch delivered from Love's left arm.

That's just the way it is. This assertion of mine doesn't negate the fact that adhering to certain rules with regards to relationship do help but, I posit that one shouldn't build their love life around textbook love prescriptions.

Yea. No one should live their lives according to some textbook descriptions, because it would amount to living an inauthentic life. The answer is simple. Know the basic rules, find out those that are more attuned to you and stick to them, understand yourself and stay true to who u really are.

henryhemon:

You haven't answered my question as yet.

Pardon me. What was your question?

henryhemon:


Ain't saying they are bad,am saying they might work for some folks cuz no relationship is same but once one is insincere in a relationship dos and donts won't work no matter how much you follow them.

Sure nuff! Well spoken.

Oliviaarims:



Yea. No one should live their lives according to some textbook descriptions, because it would amount to living an inauthentic life. The answer is simple. Know the basic rules, find out those that are more attuned to you and stick to them, understand yourself and stay true to who u really are.

Well thought out! The journey of self discovery in relationships is the succour one gets from a failed one. You just learnt how not to go about it again.

I do believe we can really find that special one if we can only be true to ourselves about what we really want. Unfortunately this is not the case. We see the gold about us everyday but go for the gilt. Maybe is basic human nature. We see the girl, the chap that truly loves us for who we are but we want that other one that treats us like dirt and who makes us question our ability to really attract the opposite sex.

Folks should stop lamenting about heartbreak, being single and stuff. They should stop hammering at the gate of St.Peter, disturbing the calm of the heavenlies on account of securing the perfect mate as the Good Lord supplied such a one long ago, we just didn't cotton on to His choice for us. So, like a child that asks for the moon, we must cry on.

RexKex:
Like I will Always Say/Type; There are No laid Down Principles For Things like This! No Routine! No Law!


Just let things Go "Naturally. The ONE meant for you will Stick with You NO MATTER WHAT.

so true...your post deserves an applause...more power to your thumb

Oliviaarims:


That's too cliché and would almost not make any difference. A little expatiation does a world of good sometimes.

I think it is clear enough. Read the OP's points again and you'll find that more than half of his/her list can easily be solved by honesty and being oneself. Be open to your girl, Enticing her with money, Surprises can be wrongly-timed, Spend on her, Effective Communication etc All this can easily be managed by being honest with each other and being yourselves. When i was in College, i had this friend, Lekan Axxxxni. He taught me everything i needed to know about the female species. He didn't have a dime nor was he like crazy good looking but he rocked the baddest chicks in school. I used to wonder how he did it and he made me understand. Women, and men by extension want who they can be open with. Honestly open with. We all act tough and aloof with the opposite sex but deep down we all want acceptance and affection. The problem is the unknown. One is always thinking the other party has motives and high expectations which leads to appearances. fake or otherwise. Lekan used to say "act like a Dog around your significant other". I was like "WTF". And he goes "ever got home and your dog sees you? He goes crazy with happiness. He makes you feel like you are the most important thing in the world" If you ever owned a dog you'd understand. Open up about everything with each other, if you don't have money, you don't have money. If you don't like the fact that he or she is always broke make your feelings known and sit down to find ways of reversing the situation. If you are not in the mood, you are not in the mood. A lot of things can be solve with honesty.

Bollinger:


I think it is clear enough. Read the OP's points again and you'll find that more than half of his/her list can easily be solved by honesty and being oneself. Be open to your girl, Enticing her with money, Surprises can be wrongly-timed, Spend on her, Effective Communication etc All this can easily be managed by being honest with each other and being yourselves. When i was in College, i had this friend, Lekan Axxxxni. He taught me everything i needed to know about the female species. He didn't have a dime nor was he like crazy good looking but he rocked the baddest chicks in school. I used to wonder how he did it and he made me understand. Women, and men by extension want who they can be open with. Honestly open with. We all act tough and aloof with the opposite sex but deep down we all want acceptance and affection. The problem is the unknown. One is always thinking the other party has motives and high expectations which leads to appearances. fake or otherwise. Lekan used to say "act like a Dog around your significant other". I was like "WTF". And he goes "ever got home and your dog sees you? He goes crazy with happiness. He makes you feel like you are the most important thing in the world" If you ever owned a dog you'd understand. Open up about everything with each other, if you don't have money, you don't have money. If you don't like the fact that he or she is always broke make your feelings known and sit down to find ways of reversing the situation. If you are not in the mood, you are not in the mood. A lot of things can be solve with honesty.

Wisdom!

Major recipe for a happy relationship.

tosyne2much:
What more can I say ? Emusmith and Oliviaarims, nice job

Aha! Been looking for you everywhere. Happy New Year tidings to you.

Bollinger:


I think it is clear enough. Read the OP's points again and you'll find that more than half of his/her list can easily be solved by honesty and being oneself. Be open to your girl, Enticing her with money, Surprises can be wrongly-timed, Spend on her, Effective Communication etc All this can easily be managed by being honest with each other and being yourselves. When i was in College, i had this friend, Lekan Axxxxni. He taught me everything i needed to know about the female species. He didn't have a dime nor was he like crazy good looking but he rocked the baddest chicks in school. I used to wonder how he did it and he made me understand. Women, and men by extension want who they can be open with. Honestly open with. We all act tough and aloof with the opposite sex but deep down we all want acceptance and affection. The problem is the unknown. One is always thinking the other party has motives and high expectations which leads to appearances. fake or otherwise. Lekan used to say "act like a Dog around your significant other". I was like "WTF". And he goes "ever got home and your dog sees you? He goes crazy with happiness. He makes you feel like you are the most important thing in the world" If you ever owned a dog you'd understand. Open up about everything with each other, if you don't have money, you don't have money. If you don't like the fact that he or she is always broke make your feelings known and sit down to find ways of reversing the situation. If you are not in the mood, you are not in the mood. A lot of things can be solve with honesty.

Nobody has downplayed the importance of honesty in a relationship. Of course, it can never be overemphasized. What I'm saying is that u can't simply reduce the OP's point to just basically honesty. He was saying more than that.

And of course, honesty alone doesn't take care of everything. What was that analogy u were giving about acting with ur partner as though u are a dog? How does that portray honesty?


And BTW, ur friend "rocking the baddest chics" in school guarantees nothing. He cannot claim to know all about women just by that singular feat. He should get into and sustain a relationship with a single woman, then we could come back and use his illustrations.

RexKex:
Like I will Always Say/Type; There are No laid Down Principles For Things like This! No Routine! No Law!


Just let things Go "Naturally. The ONE meant for you will Stick with You NO MATTER WHAT.

Yeah. Being natural is ultimate. I always advocate that.

If you're natural with a woman, she'll definitely like you.

firstking01:
ok, i tink i'd device a means

Good luck and good morning

safarigirl:
Good luck and good morning

sm2u and hapi nu yr my queen

4C2215131:


Well thought out! The journey of self discovery in relationships is the succour one gets from a failed one. You just learnt how not to go about it again.

I do believe we can really find that special one if we can only be true to ourselves about what we really want. Unfortunately this is not the case. We see the gold about us everyday but go for the gilt. Maybe is basic human nature. We see the girl, the chap that truly loves us for who we are but we want that other one that treats us like dirt and who makes us question our ability to really attract the opposite sex.

Folks should stop lamenting about heartbreak, being single and stuff. They should stop hammering at the gate of St.Peter, disturbing the calm of the heavenlies on account of securing the perfect mate as the Good Lord supplied such a one long ago, we just didn't cotton on to His choice for us. So, like a child that asks for the moon, we must cry on.

Oh, my gosh! Aww.. I totally love this. I couldn't agree more with you.


People suffer heartbreaks for so many reasons... And I believe top amongst the reasons is going into relationships they should never have gotten into in the first place. A girl sees a guy.. She knows he isn't in her league, perhaps. Their personalities are at par... He probably has a history with women, she isn't certain he genuinely loves her.. Etc and she still decides to date him.
And then for a guy, he sees a girl... She's got attitude problems, highly materialistic, too many male friends here and there, he barely knows jack about her.. their personalities don't seem to tally.. She likes partying and clubbing for Africa.... Then for God knows why, he still decides that's the person he wants to date. The odds of such relationships succeeding are really high.


The Socratic dictum "Man know thyself...." is very very relevant in all of human endeavours. It's only when u know urself that u can know what u want... Know the sort of ppl that complement you and with whom you can be with for the long haul. Only there and then can we begin to envisage a successful relationship.

Story 4 the gods

misspicy:
This will be interesting


who is gonna be my date?

Are you truly female?

RexKex:
Like I will Always Say/Type; There are No laid Down Principles For Things like This! No Routine! No Law!


Just let things Go "Naturally. The ONE meant for you will Stick with You NO MATTER WHAT.

big lie. You need to work things out for things to work out.

Oliviaarims:


Sure, life isn't all about 10things. It could be a hundred, a thousand. Could even be just one basic thing.. But there isn't any harm in getting to know a couple of them now, is there?

But most of this things are basic common sense na..

Oliviaarims:


Aha! Been looking for you everywhere. Happy New Year tidings to you.

Na network fall my hand since yesterday jawe... What's good now?

tosyne2much:
What more can I say ? Emusmith and Oliviaarims, nice job

Thanks bro

tosyne2much:
Na network fall my hand since yesterday jawe... What's good now?

Too bad.. And I'm here flexing 7G.

Aminat508. Come and learn from this words of reproof o.


Meanwhile, Happy New Year Dear! Emi a se pupo reh oooooo

JeffreyJamez:


But most of this things are basic common sense na..

Common sense.. Yea.. To u. It's very scarce for some ppl.. Nothing common about it