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My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! - Romance (9) - Nairaland

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Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by 2sex(m): 11:16am On Feb 13, 2016
Btruth:


A friend of mine in Germany came to Nigeria late 90's pick this girl up from Ajegunle, married her and took her back to Germany. Less than 2 years, the lady have started sleeping around with other men, and to make things worse, she was sleeping with low profile guys to her husband. ......of-course my friend was heartbroken, he divorced her and promised never to have anything to do with women again. After so much persuasion, he later settled down again with a white lady and they were both happy till now.

It's only God that knows who can make you happy, not face or look, neither money or intelligent.

Remember, he who find a good wife, find favour from God.
did you see the difference? Our Nigerian ladies are just pathetic. I have to be frank with you, I have been nursing the idea of marrying outside the Nigerian race, a foreign But I won't if freecocoa can give me her sister and promise she won't break my heart like others have sad

2 Likes

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by kaziblake(f): 11:17am On Feb 13, 2016
2sex:
bro, that person in the snapshot isn't NIGERIAN and can never be. So you see? Do you see how their reasoning is when compared to our girls down here?
Not all nigerian girls reason and behave's like the Op girlfriend.
I have seen countless nigerian girls who suffered with their boyfriend's till they make it.

It's loves that matters not money.

2 Likes

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Kenchukky(m): 11:18am On Feb 13, 2016
God just removed the evil on your way to mega breakthrough and you are here complaining.

3 Likes

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by 2sex(m): 11:19am On Feb 13, 2016
Btruth:


.....that's is white heart for you. To her, she found it very impossible, that because of a job, a lady will dump her man of 7 years.
abeg hook me up with anyone in their 20s cos me I be natural lover boy but I can't express myself freely to Nigerian ladies without ending up hurt.

Hence I am often forced to hide my truth identity. Imaging hidding whom God created you to be?

2 Likes

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by athorello(m): 11:19am On Feb 13, 2016
I don't think I'm alone. Winning a girl back No, never! I can only wish and that's where it ends.

1 Like

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by VISTIN(m): 11:20am On Feb 13, 2016
Did I hear you say "commit suicide"?

No, she's too small to determine what your future will look like

Don't you think God doesn't want to give you a good job until she leaves.

Yes, it's extremely painful but I've seen people who moved on for better.

I was "nothing" financially when I proposed to my wife. Today we are happy with 3 kids. So, any relationship that is based on job capacity isn't worth keeping.

God will give you the grace to move on. But, you must do one "difficult" thing: forgive her. That will open plenty doors for you.

We love you so much and wish you a better future.
Happy Valentine's day.

2 Likes

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by tunnyl(m): 11:20am On Feb 13, 2016
Why do I have a funny feeling of doubt about the op. However, my advise is that you boost your search for employment.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by 2sex(m): 11:20am On Feb 13, 2016
kaziblake:
Not all nigerian girls reason and behave's like the Op girlfriend.
I have seen countless nigerian girls who suffered with their boyfriend's till they make it.

It's loves that matters not money.
I have heard that several times and even seen an advocate of your premise still abuse it.

Nigerian girls are same abeg.

3 Likes

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Heineken(m): 11:22am On Feb 13, 2016
laprince:
Am so sorry bro. I just remembered mine too. She told me the love she has for me was less than the love I had for her. So, she dumped me and went over to date a wealthier friend of mine that I introduced her to, when she came visiting me on an occasion.

Now, my life has improved she sometimes send me I MISS YOU MESSAGES. When I see such messages, I just reply and wish her well.

You know what, I ignored her and my friend. They are no longer dating now. They both had issues. According to her, She says am a person she would have taken more time to know better. However, that does not cheer me, I have moved ahead.

Just look good, don't ever bother to BEG her

God's grace will shine on you soon.

CHEERS!!!
I like this talk...

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by multicolored(f): 11:24am On Feb 13, 2016
She may not be as faithful as you are hammering sef....

3 Likes

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Mackson01: 11:25am On Feb 13, 2016
Move on with your life. Life is sweet and don't do anything stupid. You will laugh last. Josesp was rejected a d sold out into slavery but things worked for his good. U are only a failure if you stay down.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Gkemz: 11:25am On Feb 13, 2016
Well, since she has moved on, all you gotta do as fast as possible though it won't be easy is secure a meaningful job if that's all it takes to win her back. Otherwise you have to move on with your life. Everything happen for a reason. Maybe she's not meant for you. You have to figure it out.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 11:25am On Feb 13, 2016
KangaIye:




Hope you are not weeping daily again

I'm still weeping o. i thought i was moving on to better things but mehn it's best to stick to the satan u know o than the angel u dont know. the grass always looks greener on the other side but when u get to that other side e no green anything o. if i can do anything to get my good ex back. i'll do it! I wish i just shut my eyes to the world and stuck with him. I would have been a queen by now. God knows best.

3 Likes

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by kaziblake(f): 11:26am On Feb 13, 2016
2sex:
I have heard that several times and even seen an advocate of your premise still abuse it.

Nigerian girls are same abeg.
A nigerian girl must have broken your heart.

If you say so....
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 11:27am On Feb 13, 2016
This is that time in your life that will determine if you would ever become great or forever remain a misery. It's yo turning point.

Don't be deceived, you will never ever get over this, this is such an event fate has designed to change your perception about life and the people that lives in it. You'll find it really hard to love, trust and stay faithful. These are Tbh, good things the pain you're in now will teach you if you care to listen and make the best use of this adversary. If you decide to give in, give up and allow this pain to use you, you'll end up a total failure for life! Nigg, it's time for you to get up, dress up and fall in love with your life and what you can still do with your life. You're a man for a reason, don't allow life situations to pull you down, tie you down and waste you like a used rag. Believe! , better days are coming, the chick that left never deserved to be in your glorious future, she just part of the BIG plan, she's fulfilled her own part of the assignment and she's honourably took to the exit. Let better hands come in, don't allow the loss of the milk teeth aggravate you I say, hold up, the Permanent set is on its way! Have a nice Saturday smiley

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Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 11:27am On Feb 13, 2016
Nigeria's population is over 150 million... dont worry, you would easily get a replacement for her if you get your act together.

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Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Btruth: 11:27am On Feb 13, 2016
2sex:
abeg hook me up with anyone in their 20s cos me I be natural lover boy but I can't express myself freely to Nigerian ladies without ending up hurt.

Hence I am often forced to hide my truth identity. Imaging hidding whom God created you to be?

Will talk to my younger brother for you. Or, you wait till when I visit sometimes this year. But just always keep in touch.

3 Likes

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by durasome(m): 11:27am On Feb 13, 2016
hurting:
Good day all! I never thought I will never create a topic like this because I believed I had a perfect love life. I have to create this moniker just for this topic that has and still eating me deep. I will try to make it as brief as possible.

I have been a relationship for 7yrs with the lady that I love beyond measures. I do anything possible within my reach to satisfy n make her happy. She has also been wonderful and almost perfect (nobody is). We started dating from uni days and where d pride n envy of many even after school.

After my service, I started looking for job but as things get murky in d labour market, I started a little ICT troubleshooting hustle, just to keep body n soul together before d job comes. Now this lady has been supportive all d way, after her service she moved to where am based, we managed what we have. She got a job while I was still doing what I do, I could provide for d daily running around like food, clothing, small bills, etc. I could pay my rent sometimes but atimes my siblings support me. When biz haven't been good.

Now this my lady resigned from where she was working because her female boss wasn't treating them well, tru one of my friends I secured a better paying n welfare job in a construction firm for her. We have been doing fine all this while but when I proposed to her she said we should wait till I get a better paying job. I make an average of 35-40k at d end of month but because I spend on what we need in d house I usually don't have it in bulk at d end of d month. She earns around 80k plus a car. Her new boss gives car loan to all his staff down to d secretary. She is an engineer there. She have been having this fear of lack because of what she faced as a child, so whenever d issue of marriage comes up she says I shld wait till I get a job n when ever her friends or mine wedd she cries n complain that I dnt want to marry her. I have promised her that we can make it with our present earnings n with time I will get that job. I knw I live far better than some married men in terms of finances.

This year I made up my mind to ask her for hand in marriage on vals day, but last week she gave me d shocker of my life, but telling me she had moved on because of my employment status. I have begged like I ave never begged anyone before, telling her that am very sure d job will come before d babies start coming. She told me she has found someone else and that she has made up her mind.

She still loves me, but the job issue I her phobia, dont get me wrong she is very decent n has been faithful all our yrs together. Right now my heart is torn to shreds, I don't sleep at night, I cry every night, I cant eat well, I have lost weight. Am I beginning to scare my self with d kind of suicidal thoughts I have these days. I have built my whole adult life around her, I try to let go but cant.

Pls nairalanders advice me before I do something drastic, I need all the advice I can get, am on job sites 24/7 now just to get something n probably win her back. She is not after riches just d basics. And for those that will lash me, I need it too, it might cheer me a bit.
Pls help a brother.

pls help me push this to FP I need all d advice I could get before its too late for me.

P.S. Sorry for any grammatical blunder n punctuation errors.

.dear fellow nairalander.it's sad that your girl of many years left,and I personally do understand how you feel right now.I think the right thing to do now is to move on.since she has made up her mind to go,plus dont waste any of ur precious time to try to win her back cause she is gone and will never come back unless it was destined to be so.and if she will eventually come back,it's not gona be now.to forget about her u must try and morn her exit in your life cause it requires almost that long period it takes the love to grow for the heart to also gradually get rid of it.she left because she thinks you can not give her the kind of life she wants.so rather than kill yourself,please try and improve on self, get a better job.its not just the end of the road. or wouldn't you want to surprise and prove her wrong in life??stuffs like this happens so cheer up bro.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by cedargroove: 11:28am On Feb 13, 2016
CutieViva:
Am nt gd in replyin msgs wen i read buh dis particular trend touched my hrt. Bro alot of pple here ve advice u alot & i hope u should jst yeld 2der advice. Am a Lady wit mch experience both frm Guys & my fellow gurls, tins happen evryday. i ve had such hrt break frm a dude buh dat wont mak mi 2 treat d gd pple around mi bad. Plz i want 2 urge U 2 tak it 2 God in prayer bcoz prayer answereth all tins evn ur broken hrt & move on wit ur lyf. God wil giv u ur hrt desire as a wife mayb she's nt urs datz Y it happen dat way, bsyd any woman dat does'nt bliv in her Man's future does'nt worth a hard working man like U. Plz dear jst dust ursef & move on wit ur lyf & God wil C u 2ru & bless U wit ur desire Job in JSN, Amen! U can jst cal mi wit dis Num 08180496489 4 more courage, i mean 2 connect u wit som1 dat wil inspire u & mak u unstand dat ur d best & dat mocker is nt meant 4u. GdLuck & stay bless! One more tin Bro, dont use bcoz of wat ur passing 2ru now 2 tag all gurls bad, & dont allow it 2 mak 2 treat oda gurls bad bcoz it may stil make u 2 loose d ryt person God ve destiny u so jst act wit Wisdom & kip on being a gd & Faithful guy 2 any gurl u meet! 10k u.



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Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by monamiehady(f): 11:31am On Feb 13, 2016
This reminded me of the time I broke-up with a guy I was planning to marry, it was difficult holding the tears, but these were the steps I took;
-I accepted it in my heart & checked why it happened that way.
-I told my family about it & I got all the emotional support I needed.
-I traveled out so I don't see things that will remind me of him.
-I told my Pastor & she gave ma a book (Lord heal my hurts) to read.
-I prayed fervently for a person 10times better than him.
-Lastly I devoted my time to my studies (then I was a student nurse)
Fast-forward 2yrs, I met someone 10times better than he was, completed my studies, got a job, got married to him & we're hoping to have triplets soon.
when I look back I can only say 'Lord thank you for breaking us apart! '
Cheer-up bro, she was not meant for you!

1 Like

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Teespice(f): 11:31am On Feb 13, 2016
Dreamflyin:
OP, thanks a lot for being honest about her. Some dudes will start off by painting her up as unfaithful and all. Thanks Op. You're on the good path. Thanks again.
She loves you, no doubt about that, but sometimes, life throws things in our path that even the strongest emotion can't withstand.
She's gone, but she's still there.
Don't hate her.
She did her bit.
Dust yourself up. It's hard, and I wouldn't claim to know how you feel, or understand your feelings.
If you commits suicide, you lost. You lost her, and the world/life defeated you.
She always loved you and will still do, but if she grew up in want, that phobia will always get her apprehensive of the future. She wants better for her kids.
I'm not God to tell you that a job is on the way and make you feel good, but you'll be a better man if you pull through this.
Best of luck, bro. I'm in deep sorrow with you. God keep you.

aptly said.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by emerged01(m): 11:32am On Feb 13, 2016
@ hurting, Pls let her go. What if you get a good job and things turn sour,she will divorce you. Someone better than her will come your way. You need a supportive wife,and not every lady can play that role. She cant....that is why you must let her go.
I'm in the same shoe with you but my wife have been very supportive. And I do everything in own my way to keep her hope in me that I will be that man she truly deserve.

1 Like

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by 2sex(m): 11:32am On Feb 13, 2016
Btruth:


Will talk to my younger brother for you. Or, you wait till when I visit sometimes this year. But just always keep in touch.
Thanks. Will follow you now.
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by chiefolododo(m): 11:33am On Feb 13, 2016
What a pity!
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Nobody: 11:34am On Feb 13, 2016
you want to become like searchiing4love - the guy has abandoned nigerian ladies for foreign ones.

2sex:
did you see the difference? Our Nigerian ladies are just pathetic. I have to be frank with you, I have been nursing the idea of marrying outside the Nigerian race, a foreign But I won't if freecocoa can give me she won't break my heart like others have sad

2 Likes

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Heineken(m): 11:34am On Feb 13, 2016
Op this kind of situation ain't really easy. To me, I used to take ladies seriously but I realised they don't really worth it. I remember during my nysc days when a girl I loved so much then started misbehaving. Mehn, I no fit chop I confuse. With time I later turned badoo with girls and got over her once.
My advise is this, don't call her again and delete any thing relating to her. Work hard too and always believe in yourself.

3 Likes

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by KELECHUKWU89: 11:36am On Feb 13, 2016
KILL URSELF NA WETIN CONCHAI ME..PIPO WEY DIE U BETTER PASS DM..U WAN COMMIT SUCIDE MTCHEEEW
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by 2sex(m): 11:36am On Feb 13, 2016
kaziblake:
A nigerian girl must have broken your heart.

If you say so....
truth is irrespective of the fact that many will say they want a loving and caring dude, if that was the case, that's my personality but the reality on ground shows otherwise.

Nigerian girls are no respected of broke azz niggazz, even you won't touch such with 10 foot pole, no matter his love for you which is very obvious.

I have seen it all. Forget that shiiit!

1 Like

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by 2sex(m): 11:39am On Feb 13, 2016
TeOwl:
you want to become like searchiing4love - the guy has abandoned nigerian ladies for foreign ones.

Bros, Nigerian girls are very inconsiderate and unappreciative, whether you believe it or not.

People don't just speak without reasons.

2 Likes

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Richy4(m): 11:39am On Feb 13, 2016
I know it hurts.... But I equally know you will be fine with time.. And I know your situation will turn around and she will come begging for you to take her back.. and next time you try to share your stories, NL members will be asking you what movie was that? ... was the girl Rita Dominic and the man Ramsey Noah... cheesy

I do not know if you have ever been to a Nigerian funeral when a man lost his wife..... You will see him threatening to jump into the grave to join the wife..but.... Just give him three years or more, he will plan to remarry slowly but surely ..... not that he doesn't love the wife but time has healed his wounds... and there are certain wounds that time heals.... yours is included.....

I fear for your girl friend though..... because I discovered in life that what someone fears the most always hunt him or her....In her case the fear of financial loss, poverty, lack of money etc was her biggest fear in life.....some rich people some times find themselves bankrupt or something.... I am not praying for that but what if such situation occurs when she gets married?

I am happy it happened now.... because assuming it happened before you get to know her phobia, you wouldn't have forgiven yourself...



1 Like

Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by Adasun(m): 11:40am On Feb 13, 2016
the problem is after all this

the op might still be tempted to call her on

an occation just to hear frm her.dats da logic.all this advise would
only make him stop the suicidal thought.but to leave

the girl would take months,if possible years.and also

a big annoying behaviour frm the da gal would finally turn him off.


My advise are these (1)sleep early at 9it because dat is when da temptation to hear frm her is high

(2)be busy all da tym,try do something to upgrade not to show da babe
but for ur own benefit


(3)lastly,have these in mind dat she left the best man.

Know dat it takes time thogringrin cheers!!!
Re: My Heart Has Been Torn Apart! by kaziblake(f): 11:40am On Feb 13, 2016
2sex:
truth is irrespective of the fact that many will say they want a loving and caring dude, if that was the case, that's my personality but the reality on ground shows otherwise.

Nigerian girls are no respected of broke azz niggazz, even you won't touch such with 10 foot pole, no matter his love for you which is very obvious.

I have seen it all. Forget that shiiit!
calm down!
Don't generalise it...my friend suffered with a broke azz nigga,when the money came he dumped her saying she wasn't up to his standard.
It's vice/versa.

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